Dark's Burning Light

Celestial Bodies

I lost track of everything as I plunged myself into my studies. Every time I started to give in to thoughts I didn't want I'd work twice as hard to memorize symbols or passages of books that could eventually help me in my goals. Every night when I'd finally go to sleep it was because I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Every morning when I'd wake up I dove back into studying to drown out the nightmares that inevitably had woken me. Time lost its relevance, but unfortunately everything else did as well.

"Clow! You need to stop now. It's been a year. Tell me, son, how do you feel about her death?"

I glared at my mother, though her tone had been gentle. "Nothing has changed. She's still gone, and I still don't know enough to bring her back. I still love her and miss her just as intensely as the day I returned home."

"When you run away from your problems you find that as soon as you turn around they've kept pace with you. What you've accomplished has been admirable, but you can't keep going like this."

"Why not?"

"You'll die before you can try to save her."

I opened my mouth to retort, but stopped myself. Is that what I was seeking? Or was the truth that I sought the oblivion of my own death without being able to do it myself.

"Clow, you dishonor her memory by trying to erase what her absence really means to you. I know that's not what you want."

But, the pain was unbearable! I fell into myself, again drowning in misery. "I can't do this, mother. This feeling is too big for me. I've never lost anyone before, and I lost her of all people. It's too much for me."

"Son, I know you are overwhelmed by your loneliness, but you won't cure that by remaining alone. I think it might be time for an object lesson. Your father and I won't teach you another thing or allow you to touch another of our books and scrolls until we are satisfied. We want to make sure you're actually learning something from all the study you've done."

I sighed. "Is this necessary?"

She just sighed and shook her head. "Have you known me to ask the unnecessary? Come, this will not be too hard if you've truly studied both forms of magic as well as you seem to have. After that your time will be your own, I promise."

There was a tone of finality to her voice I didn't like, though there was also a kindness there that only she could manage. My mother. Only she could be so stern and determined yet caring and gentle at once.

"Very well, what test do you have in mind?"

~~~~~@~~~~~

Balance. Yin and yang. Moon and sun. East and West. I walked the tightrope within my mind, calling forth powers that would tear me apart if I did not keep them perfectly in balance.

I knew immediately what the spell my mother wanted me to cast would do. I could have backed out at any time and that would have been the end...of everything. I could have said, no. I could have said I'd rather be alone with my pain. I could have said it was too hard. That would have ended my training.

Besides, I knew I could do this, even though I had actually surprised my parents by rising to the challenge. I knew I could do anything I set my mind to.

What was the worst that could happen anyway? If I wasn't willing to take risks, I didn't deserve to have her back.

Of course, I had thought the worst that could happen was failure and death.

I suppose I wasn't so wise back then.

~~~~~@~~~~~

When I finally opened my eyes on the physical plane I was greeted by two pairs of cat-like eyes. That's what I saw first as I lay on the ground, panting. Eyes. One set the clearest gold like the sun in the noon sky. The other the deepest violet/silver that spoke of the full moon glowing from on high.

I had done it, I had passed their test. These were the probing eyes of my creations, beings I had made with my own magic and imagination. There was genuine concern in those eyes, but I smiled to see it. Emotion. I had made them better than I expected.

The moment was broken by my mother's gentle laughter. "Well, aren't you going to say anything Clow? It's not polite to just lay there and stare."

I carefully rose to my feet. "Do I need to give them names?"

I knew it was a stupid question as soon as I saw her disapproving frown. "Ask them, Clow. They talk."

I blinked, startled.

"Do you have names?"

My two creations exchanged a glance, then both shook their heads. I looked at them, first one, then the other. One was a great beast like a lion with golden fur and wings. His golden eyes were both wise and playful. It was an imposing figure that would strike fear in any who would oppose this creature, but he also looked capable of warmth and fun. Or, maybe I was reading more than the surface showed, deeper than the eye could see. "You I think should be called Cerberus."

"Ke-ro-bear-os?" the beast sounded out carefully.

"Or that if you prefer," I laughed. He joined me in the laughter, coming closer and placing his head against my hand, begging to be petted. I complied as I contemplated his companion.

This was a being such as I had only seen in dreams. Brilliant white hair that glowed with soft violet highlights flowed down to cover a perfectly formed humanoid being. Well, more angelic than humanoid really with his snowy white wings. His bone structure was so delicate, but strong at the same time. He was built for flying. His skin was milky white and the picture of absolute perfection. My breath caught as I stared at him, unable to believe that I had been able to put to form the absolute ideal of.... I shook myself, casting aside that thought. He was the embodiment of the moon in the distant sky, beautiful and powerful, but utterly untouchable. "Moon," I uttered, but in my mother's native tongue of Chinese.

"Yue?" he repeated. Even his soft voice was reminiscent of that luminous orb that graced the night sky. "I think I like that name very much, Master."

My heart pounded, but I managed a calm smile. I turned the smile to my mother who seemed to be...waiting.

"I think I passed your test, Mother." If my smile turned a little smug, I think I deserved it.

Then she shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Clow. This is just the beginning of your test."

"The beginning?" I was stunned. "What else do I have to do to win your approval? I did what was asked of me!"

"You cast a spell." She shrugged. "Fine, well and good, but that only means you have been learning the words in the books you've lost yourself in the last year. I want to be sure you understand what you have learned, and that will take more than just creating magical beings." She looked stern for a moment, but then she was motherly again as she smiled and looked at my creations. "You did do a superb job in their creation. I don't know any who could have done better."

"Fine, so what now?" I sounded peevish even to my own ears and nearly winced at my tone.

"That is for your father to say when we get back from our vacation."

"Vacation? Now?"

"Indeed. I haven't been home in a very long time, and I thought we'd take the scenic route."

"What? No magic? That will take at least a year!"

"At least." She didn't sound in the least bit repentant.

I sighed, realizing I had no choice in the matter. "You expect me to do no studying for an entire year or more while you two are gone?"

Her bright brown eyes twinkled with mirth. "I wouldn't say that. There are other things to study than books."

And that was the only answer I could get from either of them before they left.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I didn't know what to do with my creations. I realized that as soon as my mother left the room and left me alone with them. We all stood in silence for a bit, examining each other. Finally I realized that my eyes kept drawing back to the angel, Yue, and I only just realized he was covered only by those long strands of pale hair. "The first thing to do then is find you some clothing, Yue."

"Master?"

"It would be inappropriate otherwise."

Cerberus moved to Yue's side. "Do I need clothing too?"

I laughed. It was my first laugh in a year and it felt foreign to my mouth, but it was a genuine laugh and I couldn't hold it in. "No, you have fur to cover yourself."

He growled a little, piercing me with a golden glare. "Why does he get hair and I'm stuck with fur? That isn't very fair, is it?"

The laughter was getting harder to contain, but I tried to answer him seriously. "It's the way things are. The two of you have wings and feathers, but I do not."

At this Cerberus got a gleam in his eye. "Yes, but you have hair and clothes. I have feathers and fur, and Yue has feathers and hair. This way it's all fair."

I was stunned by his logic, no matter how it didn't apply in the real world. "Okay, I'll find clothing for you too, Cerberus."

He considered it, then haughtily refused. "No thank you. I don't want to cover my glorious fur."

At this Yue looked startled. "My hair is glorious too, isn't it? I don't want to wear clothing if I'll have to cover my hair."

This was getting out of hand. I shook my head, trying to calm them both by remaining calm myself. "Don't worry," I soothed. "I pull my hair back so it does not get in the way when I do spells, but look--" I pulled my hair free and let it fall around me. "I don't cover my own hair, so you won't have to either."

Yue looked delighted, but Cerberus was peevish again. "If Yue gets clothes it's not fair again."

"You just said you don't want clothes. You don't want to cover your fur, remember?"

"If you can wear clothes that don't cover your hair, I want clothes that won't cover my fur."

Yue tried to be reasonable with his fellow creation. "But, your fur is everywhere Cerberus."

"I am Keroberus, and that's not the point! I want something special too!"

I knelt in front of him, stroking behind his ears and looking him in the eye. "You are special. You don't need anything to show it. You are like a work of art, and I am the artist. If you want, I could make you some golden armor with magic jewels, but they would only be adornments to your perfection."

This placated the beast, but now the angel pouted. I couldn't win it seemed.

"Yue, you are every bit as perfect."

"Then why do you want to cover my skin, but not his fur?"

I groaned. "You look too human to not wear clothes. I said before, it would be inappropriate."

"Cerberus is right, that's not fair."

"You're right, it's not fair. But that's the way things are."

"Why?"

I think my frustration was starting to show. "Just because."

They both shut up and nodded, looking at me like I was about to explode. I know I felt like I was.

"Master," Yue began softly, cautiously. "Your robes are mostly black, like your hair. May I have robes that are mostly white like mine?"

Finally, finally, I relaxed and smiled. "I don't have any right now, but I will make you some. I think white would suit you perfectly, my angel."

And this was just a hint of the year to come....

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: I'm moving the notes to the end of the story so you can get right to the action. I hope this works better for everyone.

This is my birthday present to myself. Happy Birthday to me! (Nov. 25th) Okay, okay, it's not a mushy Clow and Yue scene, but it's the next best thing! Clow being driven insane by Kero and Yue acting like kids! As the mother of a two-year-old, I sympathize with him in this chapter. It won't stay that way though! ~chuckles~

So, to the usual suspects, Six, Peacewish, and Kira, thank you for reading so many of my stories and sticking with me through so much! It's nice to open a fic with familiar faces. Also to Chiruri and Crystalline, I hope I helped with my reviews, and thank you for the kind words about my own fic. (I also hope I didn't sound like I was putting on airs...I just really wanted to help since you asked for it...) Thank you all, give yourself some huge hugs, and I hope you've enjoyed this part as much as I did.