~~I got y' I shot y'
~~And y' bloody know I did
~~I got y' I shot y'
~~I stopped it with the bin lid
.
~~But you know that if you cross your fingers
~~And if you count from one to ten
~~You can get up off the ground again.
~~It doesn't matter
~~The whole thing's just a game
.
~~It doesn't matter
~~The whole thing's just a game
~~The whole thing's just a game
~~The whole thing's just a game
.
Bardock awoke to find himself in the forest, his face being wiped clean by Julianne. The lioness smiled kindly, washing the bloody rag in a basin next to her. He tried to get up, but met with a sharp pain throughout his entire body.
"Please," begged Warren, hugging onto Bardock's neck. "Gardenia found you in the moat. You've suffered so much already."
Gardenia blushed, her entire body turned crimson.
Bardock almost complied, until he heard Zucina groan loudly. He whirled around, ignoring the immense pain, and saw her being wiped down by Elena, the Idsa Sword lying nearby. Tora was sleeping soundly by Archie, bloody but considerably more peaceful.
The Sayin woman held her broken arm and opened her eyes slightly. After blinking three times, staring at Elena, she nodded. "Yep," she said. "I've officially gone mad."
Her partner laughed. Zucina turned to see him there and asked, "You see a giant, pink elephant in front of me, right?" He nodded. "Good." She closed her eyes again. "I'm going back to sleep now, and when I wake up, it had better not be there again."
Archie scowled. "You came to save her?"
"Yeah. She can be kinda nice . . . sometimes. How's Tora doin'?"
"Oh, he'll be fine," said Julianne. "He had eaten some of the Master's candy, and it started eating his stomach. So, we gave him some lotus medicine to numb the pain."
Tora yawned and stretched lazily. "Morning," he said sleepily.
"Feel alright?"
"Not too bad. Boy, that dog sure was vicious! I felt like my insides were dissolving!" He noticed Zucina nearby. "Hey, thanks for the great weekend, Psycho Bitch!"
Bardock noticed she still had on her royal green gown. He also realized he now wore black suit of armor, lined with silver skull buckles at the joints, and a cape behind him with a skull helmet. Tora now wore a raggedy type of garb, brown and green, and made of cheap potato sack material. "Oh my Goddess!"
"Don't wake me," warned Zucina.
"Zuni-chan, look at our clothes!"
Tora examined them. "So?"
"So?! Waddaya make of 'em?"
"Who cares," asked Tora, lying back down to sleep.
"C'mon, you guys!"
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and looked. "I think the child is mental. Why?"
Bardock pushed himself to a seated position. His body ached. Archie handed Julianne some more bandages, but Bardock pushed their hands away. "The kid is obsessed with games n' stuff. This has ta be part of his 'role-playing' game!"
Zucina groaned and studied their outfits. "Well, your armor is black, and that's a classic sign of evil. You know, 'The Dark Knight.'"
"Uh-huh," agreed Tora. "The skulls mean that, too. And my clothes are badly cared for, with common colors, and . . ." He picked up a wooden staff beside him. "I must be playing the role of Lowly Sidekick!"
"Uh, yeah. If you say so." Bardock felt a fresh wave of envy that Zucina and Tora had loving parental figures.
"He must not have taken a liking to you," continued Zucina wisely, "because he made you the villain. And I'm wearing a green dress and a pointed hat with a veil, meaning . . ." She gave a disgusted look. "I am NOT a damsel in distress, goddamit!!"
"I'm sorry you got dragged into this," said Julianne, continuing to clean Bardock's wounds.
Zucina continued her rant. "Sexist BASTARD!! Mother-fucker has NO CLUE the power I truly fucking hold!! If it weren't for that sonofabitch taking my sword, and BLINDSIGHTING me, I'd have fucking kicked his goddam ASS!!"
Tora covered his ears in mock revulsion. "Zuni-chan! Language! Does that befit a damsel?"
"Be glad one of my arms is broken, asshole! I'd fucking strangle you!"
"At least you look like a girl, and aren't cross-dressing as usual!"
While they argued, Bardock ran his fingers along the armor. It fit him perfectly, as if custom made for him. 'How fast can this kid work? And could he really take over the universe?' Warren, using both paws, cleaned off any more blood from around his breastplate. 'If Peter does hurt innocent people, he could kill our friends here too. Everywhere I've been, he'll try to control. He tricked all of us in different ways. Zucina got frightened by Doggie, Tora ate the candy, and I actually started to pity him! Still do, a little.'
His eyes rose to stare at the castle. 'This armor may be the work of a crazed kid, but its as good as a challenge in my book!'
Tora's voice came back to Bardock's attention. "There are ships in the dungeons. We should hijack one and head home."
"I AM NOT GOING BACK LOOKING LIKE THIS!!" screeched Zucina, tugging her dress. "I'd rather go home NAKED!!"
Tora wiggled his eyebrows. "Ooooo! That'll get some attention!"
"We ain't goin' home yet," announced Bardock. He stood up, a little shakily, but very serious. "We have some unfinished business to take care of!"
"Screw you," Tora laughed. "We're too beat up! We got Zucina, so lets just go home!"
Bardock turned around, eyes flashing. "What kinda Sayin are ya!? You ain't gonna be afraid of a kid are ya!?"
The other two looked at each other and shook their heads.
"Good! The Puppet Master is plannin' on using his army to take over, but I for one don't wanna be run by no kid! We gotta stop him before he leaves!"
"What make you think he's going to leave now," asked Gardenia, flying just below his ear.
"Why else would he give us these costumes? We gotta look our parts in his twisted game. An' since I'm the villain, I gotta have me an army." He put his fists on his hips. "Stand up, guys! As your lieutenant, I'm in charge anyway!"
Tora and Zucina stood. "Tora, you head back to your ship. Try to radio in Cole and get the others here. After that, sneak into the castle and find that computer thing the book mentioned. Zucina, you and I are gonna fight head on!"
"I can't fight like this," complained Zucina, ready to rip her dress off.
Bardock grabbed her by her collar. "I ain't in no mood for your attitude, Zucina! You want to be a damsel in distress, fine! I'll tie you up and strap you to a tree during the fight! But I'm gonna need help if I'm going to fight this bastard!"
"I'll help you," said Warren. The small bear yanked a large stick, taller then him, off a branch and held it like a weapon.
"We all will help," said Julianne. "The village is nearby. We'll get the other villagers, and you'll have a real army!"
"Here her," cheered Gardenia.
"Yeah!" cheered the other toys.
"Thanks," said Bardock. "We may need all the help we can get!" He eyed his partner. "Well, Zuni-chan? What's it gonna be?"
Zucina's eyes glowed with momentary rage, but, after a pause, sparkled maliciously. A familiar smirk crossed her lips. "Bardo-kun, when was the last time I turned down a fight?" She picked up the Idsa Sword, unsheathed it, and pointed it to the air. "To the castle!"
**
**
Peter finished hooking up his last device to his last fighter. Bardock was going to fight back, so he learned from his past mistake. Each warrior would fight with limited control, so he attached a small device to the thread of each one. "Remember, brave knight," he said to them, "Sayins bleed, so I wanna see lots of blood!" With his army ready, Peter readied his four controllers in his four hands and waited on the castle wall for his opponent, giggling at the prospect of a bloody battle.
The gumdrop sun now began setting behind the tall rise that lead to the forest. The fluffy pink cotton candy clouds turned blue with approaching night. Not long after, a dark shadow crept over the hillside. Bardock, dressed in black and silver, cape billowing in the breeze, emerged silhouetted against the sun.
Peter did a little dance of delight to contain himself. "Why, if it isn't my arch nemesis, the Dark Lord Bardock," he recited loudly. "Ready to stop my conquest?"
"You don't leave me much choice, Puppet Master," he called back. "I warn you, Sayins don't lose."
"Then get ready for a major disappointment. Soldiers! ATTACK!!" The army of inter-planetary warriors stood at attention, then sped off to battle.
Bardock gave a hand signal, and his own army stepped into the light. Lead by Zucina (who cut and sewed the skirt to make pants), the villagers manned their pitchforks, knives, clubs, and whatnot. "CHARGE," Bardock ordered. The angry mob of toys ran forward to clash with the opposition.
The myriad of soldiers mixed, the colors, shapes, and sizes intertwining to become a mess of a war. Inexperienced as they were, the village toys fought bravely to save their land, and concentrated on cutting the threads of each soldier. The PM's soldiers, unable to sense pain or compassion, struck at them mercilessly. Within the first five minutes, many villagers were down. They tried stitching up their injuries [they are toys!], but the soldiers did not stop.
"Kuso," Bardock swore allowed. He bounded through, trying more to protect his followers rather then kill any soldiers. Zucina, unconcerned about the villagers, tore through like a tornado, snapping thread after thread after thread, ignoring the distressed cries of the innocents around her.
"What is going on," one particularly strong voice demanded. Bardock saw the owner was nearly seven feet tall, green, skinny, had no nose, and a general's uniform from some far off planet. "Hey," the frog-like alien ordered Bardock, "you there! What is the meaning of this!?"
"The lord of the castle tricked you," Bardock cried out over the noise. "He turned everyone into slaves to take over the universe!"
The alien sneered. "He'll pay for this!"
"Please, you are a general, gather the conscious warriors and snap the threads on the wrists."
"I understand," the smart alien replied. "What's your name?"
"Lieutenant Bardock of Vegetasei in the Northern Quadrant, sir. And yours?"
"General Pikon of Pondua in the Western Quadrant." He called out for the warriors without threads to hear him, and started giving them orders. Noting his high-level garb, they obeyed, and began helping the villagers.
'That'll work for a while. Now, I have to wait just a little longer for . . . YATTA!! FINALLY!!'
Five specks appeared in the sky. Even unrecognizable by sight, Bardock felt the ki of his sensei and teammates. Two of the specks plunged down, disappearing into the castle. 'Tora and Fasha must be going to shut down the computer,' Bardock thought. 'What a guy!'
"Sayin Shower," yelled Panbukin from high above. He and Totepo sent out the trademark balls of ki raining down, directing the relatively weak blasts to the soldiers. Stunned by the sudden arrival, both sides ducked for cover.
"BARDOCK," yelled Cole over the noise, "YOU OKAY?!?"
"HAI," he yelled back.
Cole flew down lower. "You take care of the big baddie! We've got things covered here!"
"Alright, but do me a favor: Don't kill them! They don't know what they're doing!"
A sweatdrop slid down Cole's face. "Uh, okay Bardock. I trust you." He flew back up to give the new orders to his comrades.
'Good,' Bardock thought. 'Now I can go and . . . WAIT!! Where's Zucina!?' He gave a quick search of the battlefield. "ZUCINA?!?"
Gardenia flew behind Bardock. "She ran off to the castle!"
'AW FUCK!! Just like her, too!' He flew off at top speed to the castle walls.
**
**
"Serves you right for always being such a glutton," Fasha teased her mate as they searched the castle for the computer control room.
"Hey! It was right there for the picking!"
Fasha laughed. "Have you forgot your lessons from STP? Remember that dog-rule: 'Free food always comes with a price.'" She opened a door and closed it again. "That's it for this floor."
"Man, how many floors does this place have?"
"Well, we just finished number 4. Look, there's a stairway to the next floor." The couple started running up, but the stairs gave way, creating a slide, sending them crashing down, Fasha on top of Tora.
He smiled. "Not until we get home, Honey," he joked.
She fell off and he helped her back up. "Wanna take a wild guess what's up there that we aren't allowed to see?"
Tora pretended to think hard. "Not a clue." They flew up the rest of the way and came to a single, steel door. Tora banged on it, testing the thickness. He powered up a blast accordingly. "Let's try out what's behind Door #1!" He sent the blast at the weakest part of the door, melting the metal off its hinges.
The floor level held only one room, filled with flashing lights, buttons, and screens. "Gee, I'm not sure, but I think we found the main computer," Fasha said.
**
**
Zucina stuck to the shadows, not wanting to be seen prematurely. She held the Idsa Sword close to her body, controlling the glowing purple light it gave off from her forceful will. Sneaking around, she heard a soft growling sound in the next room.
'Oh, fuck me,' she thought. She started to move away when she heard PM's voice also. "Man, those Sayins aren't playing by the rules! The hero's always are supposed to win! But they're . . . well well well! Unless my monitors are broken, I have a monkey pest problem in the main computer!"
Zucina's heart skipped a beat. She didn't need a monitor to know who was down there. 'Oh no! Tora, Fasha, you bakas!'
"Feel up to having a nice two course meal, Doggie," the boy asked excitedly to his pooch. The three-headed monster barked, shaking the ground beneath Zucina. But it wasn't the quake that made her drop to her knees.
'No no no no no!!!! Tora and Fasha are gonna be eaten unless I stop that bloody behemoth first!' Most of her teammates knew she had a fear of wild animals since she was very young, but any normal person would faint at the sight of this creature.
Her knuckles whitened from the pressure of her grip on the now dim Idsa Sword. With her confidence so shot, she couldn't use its power. Trembling, she tried to turn to hurry back to the main battle. But, a strange thing happened: The Idsa Sword started to pulsate. She felt the beat synchronize with her own heart. Radically, she could almost swear the sword spoke to her internally!
Strangely, it gave her more courage. How could she abandon her friends at such a time!?
Zucina stood, and turned the corner, just as the huge monster was about to run off. "OY!! Not just yet, Tiny," she said in a much braver voice then she felt.
The Puppet Master jumped for joy. "Whoopee!! Mummy, you've to come back to me!!"
"Piss off, Junior," growled Zucina. "I am no mere puppet for you to toy with! I am Lady Zucina Cucumbra, and I've come to kick . . . your . . . ASS!" She sprung forward.
As she predicted, Doggie came to his master's defense. The creature leapt in front, sweeping at the girl with his tail. Zucina disappeared and reappeared several times before landing on the creature's shoulder. Doggie instantaneously bit, but Zucina phased out once more, and the monster torn into its own shoulder.
Zucina dove down to its legs, searching for a thread. Discovering there wasn't one, she changed tactics: Kill the dog. Weaving in and about its legs, she powered up a ki blast from her sword, and sent it out at Doggie.
Doggie took the full force, but still stood shakily to protect its master. Peter didn't cheer. He was furious. "You'll pay for hurting my dog!"
"Call it off and I'll kill you," Zucina offered with a smile. 'Please! I can't stand this much longer!!'
One head lunged at her, and she backed off, ramming right into the moving tail!
**
**
Typing quickly, Tora searched through the files of the main computer.
"Uh, why not simply blast the thing to kingdom come," asked Fasha.
"Because Bardock doesn't want anyone hurt, and those threads could self destruct for all we know." He continued typing. "If I can hack into STP's programming, how hard can this be?"
A big happy face popped up and blew a raspberry.
Fasha giggled. "Hard."
Tora cursed and kept typing. "Lets see . . . How about 'Toys'?"
Raspberry.
"'Games'?"
Raspberry.
After several more tries, he pressed "Peter", and the computer whizzed to accept him.
"Yes! Now, let's find out a little more about our host. Fasha, look at some of the buttons for clues to the threads."
"I'm on it," his mate responded. As she looked, Tora read the schematics of the threads, not completely understanding, but enough to know it wasn't booby-trapped. "Good enough for me," he said. He almost pressed the destruct button, but he heard Fasha cry out.
"What up?"
"Tora! Check out this screen!"
Tora grumbled and walked over to the small screen Fasha was pointing to. It held medical information about . . .
"Holy tapdancing shit!!"
**
**
Zucina held her broken arm and cursed. Her dress spattered with blood from her mouth. She had been knocked to the wall twice only, but she still hadn't recovered physically from the fight against Bardock.
Doggie showed worse signs of fatigue. He collapsed from the force of Zucina's direct blows, and bled internally from her ki attacks. The Puppet Master screamed. "Stop this! Stop this now! Stop letting her win!!"
"I got news for ya, kid," Zucina said, straightening up. "He hasn't been letting me. Now, for the final blow . . ." She held the Idsa Sword above her head. It, like her eyes, glowed bright purple as the magic attack gained strength. She repeated the exotic words as the Sword directed her mentally.
"GET HER NOW!!!" shrieked the Puppet Master.
Obediently, and against his better judgment, one of Doggie's three heads chomped down onto the glowing girl.
"NOOOO!!!!!!" Bardock had entered at that moment. His heart froze as her saw the creature swallow his best friend.
Peter clapped his hands with delight. "Ah! The evil warlord-"
"Will you stop that," yelled Bardock, trying to hold back tears. "This is not a game!! These are real people, real lives, and you are really killing them!!!"
Peter grinned maliciously. "Don't you know your stories, Lieutenant? Heroes always w-"
But before he finished, a purple light shone from Doggie's noses. The light intensified, then became an explosion. Doggie gave off one final squeal before vanishing in the light. Zucina stood in the midst of the light as the attack wore away, and she fell, exhausted.
Bardock ran to he and scooped her up. "Zuni-chan! Zuni-chan! Are you okay!?"
Zucina opened her eyes and smiled. "Heya, Low Level!"
Bardock gave a weak smile. "What the hell'd ya do?"
"I transported him to his new home . . . guarding the gates of Hell. I'm sure he'll like it there."
Peter, stunned at the loss of his dog, took several steps backwards. Then he turned and broke into a run.
"Matte," yelled Bardock. He turned back to Zucina. "Rest up, Zuni-chan. I'll be right back." He tore off after the boy.
**
**
Cole shook hands with General Pikon. "Glad to work with such a reputable warrior. Even we people of the North Galaxy have heard of your exploits."
"Well, I cannot deny that I am pleased my reputation proceeds me."
"May the Goddess bless you, Sir." Cole saluted, then walked over to his comrades. "Lets go make preparations for Bardock-tachi's departure. Since they don't have pods, they'll have to use reinforcements. Panbukin, you radio in-"
"COLE!!!" Yelled Tora, rushing up from the castle. "Where's Bardock?!"
"Fighting this Puppet Master, I guess."
"We gotta get to him! You'll never believe what we found out!!"
**
~~And y' bloody know I did
~~I got y' I shot y'
~~I stopped it with the bin lid
.
~~But you know that if you cross your fingers
~~And if you count from one to ten
~~You can get up off the ground again.
~~It doesn't matter
~~The whole thing's just a game
.
~~It doesn't matter
~~The whole thing's just a game
~~The whole thing's just a game
~~The whole thing's just a game
.
Bardock awoke to find himself in the forest, his face being wiped clean by Julianne. The lioness smiled kindly, washing the bloody rag in a basin next to her. He tried to get up, but met with a sharp pain throughout his entire body.
"Please," begged Warren, hugging onto Bardock's neck. "Gardenia found you in the moat. You've suffered so much already."
Gardenia blushed, her entire body turned crimson.
Bardock almost complied, until he heard Zucina groan loudly. He whirled around, ignoring the immense pain, and saw her being wiped down by Elena, the Idsa Sword lying nearby. Tora was sleeping soundly by Archie, bloody but considerably more peaceful.
The Sayin woman held her broken arm and opened her eyes slightly. After blinking three times, staring at Elena, she nodded. "Yep," she said. "I've officially gone mad."
Her partner laughed. Zucina turned to see him there and asked, "You see a giant, pink elephant in front of me, right?" He nodded. "Good." She closed her eyes again. "I'm going back to sleep now, and when I wake up, it had better not be there again."
Archie scowled. "You came to save her?"
"Yeah. She can be kinda nice . . . sometimes. How's Tora doin'?"
"Oh, he'll be fine," said Julianne. "He had eaten some of the Master's candy, and it started eating his stomach. So, we gave him some lotus medicine to numb the pain."
Tora yawned and stretched lazily. "Morning," he said sleepily.
"Feel alright?"
"Not too bad. Boy, that dog sure was vicious! I felt like my insides were dissolving!" He noticed Zucina nearby. "Hey, thanks for the great weekend, Psycho Bitch!"
Bardock noticed she still had on her royal green gown. He also realized he now wore black suit of armor, lined with silver skull buckles at the joints, and a cape behind him with a skull helmet. Tora now wore a raggedy type of garb, brown and green, and made of cheap potato sack material. "Oh my Goddess!"
"Don't wake me," warned Zucina.
"Zuni-chan, look at our clothes!"
Tora examined them. "So?"
"So?! Waddaya make of 'em?"
"Who cares," asked Tora, lying back down to sleep.
"C'mon, you guys!"
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and looked. "I think the child is mental. Why?"
Bardock pushed himself to a seated position. His body ached. Archie handed Julianne some more bandages, but Bardock pushed their hands away. "The kid is obsessed with games n' stuff. This has ta be part of his 'role-playing' game!"
Zucina groaned and studied their outfits. "Well, your armor is black, and that's a classic sign of evil. You know, 'The Dark Knight.'"
"Uh-huh," agreed Tora. "The skulls mean that, too. And my clothes are badly cared for, with common colors, and . . ." He picked up a wooden staff beside him. "I must be playing the role of Lowly Sidekick!"
"Uh, yeah. If you say so." Bardock felt a fresh wave of envy that Zucina and Tora had loving parental figures.
"He must not have taken a liking to you," continued Zucina wisely, "because he made you the villain. And I'm wearing a green dress and a pointed hat with a veil, meaning . . ." She gave a disgusted look. "I am NOT a damsel in distress, goddamit!!"
"I'm sorry you got dragged into this," said Julianne, continuing to clean Bardock's wounds.
Zucina continued her rant. "Sexist BASTARD!! Mother-fucker has NO CLUE the power I truly fucking hold!! If it weren't for that sonofabitch taking my sword, and BLINDSIGHTING me, I'd have fucking kicked his goddam ASS!!"
Tora covered his ears in mock revulsion. "Zuni-chan! Language! Does that befit a damsel?"
"Be glad one of my arms is broken, asshole! I'd fucking strangle you!"
"At least you look like a girl, and aren't cross-dressing as usual!"
While they argued, Bardock ran his fingers along the armor. It fit him perfectly, as if custom made for him. 'How fast can this kid work? And could he really take over the universe?' Warren, using both paws, cleaned off any more blood from around his breastplate. 'If Peter does hurt innocent people, he could kill our friends here too. Everywhere I've been, he'll try to control. He tricked all of us in different ways. Zucina got frightened by Doggie, Tora ate the candy, and I actually started to pity him! Still do, a little.'
His eyes rose to stare at the castle. 'This armor may be the work of a crazed kid, but its as good as a challenge in my book!'
Tora's voice came back to Bardock's attention. "There are ships in the dungeons. We should hijack one and head home."
"I AM NOT GOING BACK LOOKING LIKE THIS!!" screeched Zucina, tugging her dress. "I'd rather go home NAKED!!"
Tora wiggled his eyebrows. "Ooooo! That'll get some attention!"
"We ain't goin' home yet," announced Bardock. He stood up, a little shakily, but very serious. "We have some unfinished business to take care of!"
"Screw you," Tora laughed. "We're too beat up! We got Zucina, so lets just go home!"
Bardock turned around, eyes flashing. "What kinda Sayin are ya!? You ain't gonna be afraid of a kid are ya!?"
The other two looked at each other and shook their heads.
"Good! The Puppet Master is plannin' on using his army to take over, but I for one don't wanna be run by no kid! We gotta stop him before he leaves!"
"What make you think he's going to leave now," asked Gardenia, flying just below his ear.
"Why else would he give us these costumes? We gotta look our parts in his twisted game. An' since I'm the villain, I gotta have me an army." He put his fists on his hips. "Stand up, guys! As your lieutenant, I'm in charge anyway!"
Tora and Zucina stood. "Tora, you head back to your ship. Try to radio in Cole and get the others here. After that, sneak into the castle and find that computer thing the book mentioned. Zucina, you and I are gonna fight head on!"
"I can't fight like this," complained Zucina, ready to rip her dress off.
Bardock grabbed her by her collar. "I ain't in no mood for your attitude, Zucina! You want to be a damsel in distress, fine! I'll tie you up and strap you to a tree during the fight! But I'm gonna need help if I'm going to fight this bastard!"
"I'll help you," said Warren. The small bear yanked a large stick, taller then him, off a branch and held it like a weapon.
"We all will help," said Julianne. "The village is nearby. We'll get the other villagers, and you'll have a real army!"
"Here her," cheered Gardenia.
"Yeah!" cheered the other toys.
"Thanks," said Bardock. "We may need all the help we can get!" He eyed his partner. "Well, Zuni-chan? What's it gonna be?"
Zucina's eyes glowed with momentary rage, but, after a pause, sparkled maliciously. A familiar smirk crossed her lips. "Bardo-kun, when was the last time I turned down a fight?" She picked up the Idsa Sword, unsheathed it, and pointed it to the air. "To the castle!"
**
**
Peter finished hooking up his last device to his last fighter. Bardock was going to fight back, so he learned from his past mistake. Each warrior would fight with limited control, so he attached a small device to the thread of each one. "Remember, brave knight," he said to them, "Sayins bleed, so I wanna see lots of blood!" With his army ready, Peter readied his four controllers in his four hands and waited on the castle wall for his opponent, giggling at the prospect of a bloody battle.
The gumdrop sun now began setting behind the tall rise that lead to the forest. The fluffy pink cotton candy clouds turned blue with approaching night. Not long after, a dark shadow crept over the hillside. Bardock, dressed in black and silver, cape billowing in the breeze, emerged silhouetted against the sun.
Peter did a little dance of delight to contain himself. "Why, if it isn't my arch nemesis, the Dark Lord Bardock," he recited loudly. "Ready to stop my conquest?"
"You don't leave me much choice, Puppet Master," he called back. "I warn you, Sayins don't lose."
"Then get ready for a major disappointment. Soldiers! ATTACK!!" The army of inter-planetary warriors stood at attention, then sped off to battle.
Bardock gave a hand signal, and his own army stepped into the light. Lead by Zucina (who cut and sewed the skirt to make pants), the villagers manned their pitchforks, knives, clubs, and whatnot. "CHARGE," Bardock ordered. The angry mob of toys ran forward to clash with the opposition.
The myriad of soldiers mixed, the colors, shapes, and sizes intertwining to become a mess of a war. Inexperienced as they were, the village toys fought bravely to save their land, and concentrated on cutting the threads of each soldier. The PM's soldiers, unable to sense pain or compassion, struck at them mercilessly. Within the first five minutes, many villagers were down. They tried stitching up their injuries [they are toys!], but the soldiers did not stop.
"Kuso," Bardock swore allowed. He bounded through, trying more to protect his followers rather then kill any soldiers. Zucina, unconcerned about the villagers, tore through like a tornado, snapping thread after thread after thread, ignoring the distressed cries of the innocents around her.
"What is going on," one particularly strong voice demanded. Bardock saw the owner was nearly seven feet tall, green, skinny, had no nose, and a general's uniform from some far off planet. "Hey," the frog-like alien ordered Bardock, "you there! What is the meaning of this!?"
"The lord of the castle tricked you," Bardock cried out over the noise. "He turned everyone into slaves to take over the universe!"
The alien sneered. "He'll pay for this!"
"Please, you are a general, gather the conscious warriors and snap the threads on the wrists."
"I understand," the smart alien replied. "What's your name?"
"Lieutenant Bardock of Vegetasei in the Northern Quadrant, sir. And yours?"
"General Pikon of Pondua in the Western Quadrant." He called out for the warriors without threads to hear him, and started giving them orders. Noting his high-level garb, they obeyed, and began helping the villagers.
'That'll work for a while. Now, I have to wait just a little longer for . . . YATTA!! FINALLY!!'
Five specks appeared in the sky. Even unrecognizable by sight, Bardock felt the ki of his sensei and teammates. Two of the specks plunged down, disappearing into the castle. 'Tora and Fasha must be going to shut down the computer,' Bardock thought. 'What a guy!'
"Sayin Shower," yelled Panbukin from high above. He and Totepo sent out the trademark balls of ki raining down, directing the relatively weak blasts to the soldiers. Stunned by the sudden arrival, both sides ducked for cover.
"BARDOCK," yelled Cole over the noise, "YOU OKAY?!?"
"HAI," he yelled back.
Cole flew down lower. "You take care of the big baddie! We've got things covered here!"
"Alright, but do me a favor: Don't kill them! They don't know what they're doing!"
A sweatdrop slid down Cole's face. "Uh, okay Bardock. I trust you." He flew back up to give the new orders to his comrades.
'Good,' Bardock thought. 'Now I can go and . . . WAIT!! Where's Zucina!?' He gave a quick search of the battlefield. "ZUCINA?!?"
Gardenia flew behind Bardock. "She ran off to the castle!"
'AW FUCK!! Just like her, too!' He flew off at top speed to the castle walls.
**
**
"Serves you right for always being such a glutton," Fasha teased her mate as they searched the castle for the computer control room.
"Hey! It was right there for the picking!"
Fasha laughed. "Have you forgot your lessons from STP? Remember that dog-rule: 'Free food always comes with a price.'" She opened a door and closed it again. "That's it for this floor."
"Man, how many floors does this place have?"
"Well, we just finished number 4. Look, there's a stairway to the next floor." The couple started running up, but the stairs gave way, creating a slide, sending them crashing down, Fasha on top of Tora.
He smiled. "Not until we get home, Honey," he joked.
She fell off and he helped her back up. "Wanna take a wild guess what's up there that we aren't allowed to see?"
Tora pretended to think hard. "Not a clue." They flew up the rest of the way and came to a single, steel door. Tora banged on it, testing the thickness. He powered up a blast accordingly. "Let's try out what's behind Door #1!" He sent the blast at the weakest part of the door, melting the metal off its hinges.
The floor level held only one room, filled with flashing lights, buttons, and screens. "Gee, I'm not sure, but I think we found the main computer," Fasha said.
**
**
Zucina stuck to the shadows, not wanting to be seen prematurely. She held the Idsa Sword close to her body, controlling the glowing purple light it gave off from her forceful will. Sneaking around, she heard a soft growling sound in the next room.
'Oh, fuck me,' she thought. She started to move away when she heard PM's voice also. "Man, those Sayins aren't playing by the rules! The hero's always are supposed to win! But they're . . . well well well! Unless my monitors are broken, I have a monkey pest problem in the main computer!"
Zucina's heart skipped a beat. She didn't need a monitor to know who was down there. 'Oh no! Tora, Fasha, you bakas!'
"Feel up to having a nice two course meal, Doggie," the boy asked excitedly to his pooch. The three-headed monster barked, shaking the ground beneath Zucina. But it wasn't the quake that made her drop to her knees.
'No no no no no!!!! Tora and Fasha are gonna be eaten unless I stop that bloody behemoth first!' Most of her teammates knew she had a fear of wild animals since she was very young, but any normal person would faint at the sight of this creature.
Her knuckles whitened from the pressure of her grip on the now dim Idsa Sword. With her confidence so shot, she couldn't use its power. Trembling, she tried to turn to hurry back to the main battle. But, a strange thing happened: The Idsa Sword started to pulsate. She felt the beat synchronize with her own heart. Radically, she could almost swear the sword spoke to her internally!
Strangely, it gave her more courage. How could she abandon her friends at such a time!?
Zucina stood, and turned the corner, just as the huge monster was about to run off. "OY!! Not just yet, Tiny," she said in a much braver voice then she felt.
The Puppet Master jumped for joy. "Whoopee!! Mummy, you've to come back to me!!"
"Piss off, Junior," growled Zucina. "I am no mere puppet for you to toy with! I am Lady Zucina Cucumbra, and I've come to kick . . . your . . . ASS!" She sprung forward.
As she predicted, Doggie came to his master's defense. The creature leapt in front, sweeping at the girl with his tail. Zucina disappeared and reappeared several times before landing on the creature's shoulder. Doggie instantaneously bit, but Zucina phased out once more, and the monster torn into its own shoulder.
Zucina dove down to its legs, searching for a thread. Discovering there wasn't one, she changed tactics: Kill the dog. Weaving in and about its legs, she powered up a ki blast from her sword, and sent it out at Doggie.
Doggie took the full force, but still stood shakily to protect its master. Peter didn't cheer. He was furious. "You'll pay for hurting my dog!"
"Call it off and I'll kill you," Zucina offered with a smile. 'Please! I can't stand this much longer!!'
One head lunged at her, and she backed off, ramming right into the moving tail!
**
**
Typing quickly, Tora searched through the files of the main computer.
"Uh, why not simply blast the thing to kingdom come," asked Fasha.
"Because Bardock doesn't want anyone hurt, and those threads could self destruct for all we know." He continued typing. "If I can hack into STP's programming, how hard can this be?"
A big happy face popped up and blew a raspberry.
Fasha giggled. "Hard."
Tora cursed and kept typing. "Lets see . . . How about 'Toys'?"
Raspberry.
"'Games'?"
Raspberry.
After several more tries, he pressed "Peter", and the computer whizzed to accept him.
"Yes! Now, let's find out a little more about our host. Fasha, look at some of the buttons for clues to the threads."
"I'm on it," his mate responded. As she looked, Tora read the schematics of the threads, not completely understanding, but enough to know it wasn't booby-trapped. "Good enough for me," he said. He almost pressed the destruct button, but he heard Fasha cry out.
"What up?"
"Tora! Check out this screen!"
Tora grumbled and walked over to the small screen Fasha was pointing to. It held medical information about . . .
"Holy tapdancing shit!!"
**
**
Zucina held her broken arm and cursed. Her dress spattered with blood from her mouth. She had been knocked to the wall twice only, but she still hadn't recovered physically from the fight against Bardock.
Doggie showed worse signs of fatigue. He collapsed from the force of Zucina's direct blows, and bled internally from her ki attacks. The Puppet Master screamed. "Stop this! Stop this now! Stop letting her win!!"
"I got news for ya, kid," Zucina said, straightening up. "He hasn't been letting me. Now, for the final blow . . ." She held the Idsa Sword above her head. It, like her eyes, glowed bright purple as the magic attack gained strength. She repeated the exotic words as the Sword directed her mentally.
"GET HER NOW!!!" shrieked the Puppet Master.
Obediently, and against his better judgment, one of Doggie's three heads chomped down onto the glowing girl.
"NOOOO!!!!!!" Bardock had entered at that moment. His heart froze as her saw the creature swallow his best friend.
Peter clapped his hands with delight. "Ah! The evil warlord-"
"Will you stop that," yelled Bardock, trying to hold back tears. "This is not a game!! These are real people, real lives, and you are really killing them!!!"
Peter grinned maliciously. "Don't you know your stories, Lieutenant? Heroes always w-"
But before he finished, a purple light shone from Doggie's noses. The light intensified, then became an explosion. Doggie gave off one final squeal before vanishing in the light. Zucina stood in the midst of the light as the attack wore away, and she fell, exhausted.
Bardock ran to he and scooped her up. "Zuni-chan! Zuni-chan! Are you okay!?"
Zucina opened her eyes and smiled. "Heya, Low Level!"
Bardock gave a weak smile. "What the hell'd ya do?"
"I transported him to his new home . . . guarding the gates of Hell. I'm sure he'll like it there."
Peter, stunned at the loss of his dog, took several steps backwards. Then he turned and broke into a run.
"Matte," yelled Bardock. He turned back to Zucina. "Rest up, Zuni-chan. I'll be right back." He tore off after the boy.
**
**
Cole shook hands with General Pikon. "Glad to work with such a reputable warrior. Even we people of the North Galaxy have heard of your exploits."
"Well, I cannot deny that I am pleased my reputation proceeds me."
"May the Goddess bless you, Sir." Cole saluted, then walked over to his comrades. "Lets go make preparations for Bardock-tachi's departure. Since they don't have pods, they'll have to use reinforcements. Panbukin, you radio in-"
"COLE!!!" Yelled Tora, rushing up from the castle. "Where's Bardock?!"
"Fighting this Puppet Master, I guess."
"We gotta get to him! You'll never believe what we found out!!"
**