Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter yadda yadda yadda or U2's The First Time blah blah blah.
MER GIRL
Chapter 8 : For the first time I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a lover
A lover like no other
She got soul, soul, sweet soul
And she teach me how to sing
Shows me colours when there's none to see
Gives me hope when I can't believe that
For the first time I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius woke up that morning happy. He got dressed and had his breakfast in the Great Hall then headed for lessons with a smile on his face. Most people noticed his good mood but didn't dwell on it. They were just pleased that Sirius was back to being his old happy-go-lucky self.
There was only one person who dwelled on Sirius's sudden change of face.
Remus Lupin.
He walked beside Sirius on the way to Divination, peering at him through watchful eyes. There was a new glint in Sirius's bright blue eyes today. Obviously there was that look in his eyes that said that he was happy, but there was a new glint there too.
Something Remus couldn't put his finger on.
''What're you so happy about?'' said Lupin.
Sirius turned and looked at his friend with a confused expression. ''Can't a guy be happy? What's with all the suspicion, cowboy?''
Remus blinked. ''Did you just call me cowboy?''he said.
''No.''
Sirius giggled to himself and kept walking, humming a song to himself.
Remus smiled to himself. He felt bad now for feeling suspicious. Lupin figured that it was better to see Sirius happy, rather than the way he'd been over the past few months. It was just that Sirius was usually so open. He wouldn't have been unhappy for that long without a good reason, and now that he was happy again he wasn't talking about it. It was like he was pretending that nothing had happened and that was what made Remus suspicious. Plus, Sirius hadn't even given the reason for why he was on top of the world all of a sudden.
Remus decided that he wouldn't ask about it for a while, and would just leave Sirius to dance around in his gleeful stupor.
(( I wonder if it something to do with that thing about Lily? )) Remus wondered.
Remus watched Sirius closely for the rest of the day. What he couldn't help noticing was the way Sirius and Lily were acting around eachother. It was more than flirty. They were all over eachother. It was weird.
Remus nudged James during Potions.
''James,''he hissed. James turned around.
''What?''he said.
''Look at Sirius and Lily,''he said, pointing. ''What's going on there?''
James looked and within moments he was scowling. ''Sirius had better not be thinking about messing around with Lily,''he said.
''But you two aren't together anymore,''pointed out Remus.
''So?'' snapped James. ''Maybe I was thinking about asking her back out!''
''Are you?'' blinked Remus. ''It's been quite a while . . . ''
''I don't want Lily with another guy,''said James stubbornly. He continued to glare at Sirius. ''Especially not with one of my best mates.''
''I don't see the problem, personally,''said Remus, turning back to his potion. ''I mean, what's wrong with Lily being happy, James? She's been depressed enough. I would've thought you'd have been happy to see her getting along with another boy.''
''Well, I'm not!'' cried James. ''I still like her.'' He blushed. ''I didn't realise how much I missed her until a few weeks ago.''
''You treated her pretty badly, you know,''said Remus, darkly.
''I know, I know,''sighed James. ''I just . . .I just wish that we could give it another go.''
Remus scoffed at him. ''I don't believe you,''he said. ''I think you're only saying this because she's flirting like crazy with Sirius and now you're jealous because you thought that no-one but you would ever have the guts to try it on with Lily Evans.''
James went red with anger. ''Oh, fuck you,''he said. ''Don't you start all your pretentious pyscho babble with me, Lupin. I am sorry for what I did to Lily, and I do want to make it up to her, really I do.''
''You were a complete arse, mind you, James,''said Remus, not in the slightest attempt trying to see James's side of the story. He remembered how miserable Lily had looked those few months, how thin she'd gone, the cuts on her arms. He'd seen it all, whilst James had played away with his new girlfriend. Even though James was one of his best friends, Remus knew that James had been in the wrong.
''I know I was,''said James dully. He looked over at Lily again, who in the middle of a play fight with Sirius.
''I do not like this at all,''James said.
''Yeah well, tough bloody luck,''said Remus. ''If Sirius and Lily are together I say bloody good for them. They've both been so miserable lately - they deserve some happiness.''
James said nothing more and helped with the potion in silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a brother
When I'm a brother in need
I spend my whole time running
He spends his running after me
When I feel myself going down
I just call and he comes around
But for the first time
I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius and Lily walked round the grounds of Hogwarts that evening hand in hand. The weather was nice, cool but not cold, and the sunset iluminated the sky in every kind of pink, orange, purple and red. It was strikingly beautiful.
Sirius took a deep breath of fragrant air as they sat down underneath a tree next to the lake. The water picked up on the colours in the sky and was like a beautiful mirror. They both stared at it.
''It's lovely,''said Lily, more to herself than Sirius.
''Hm,''said Sirius lazily. The movements of the water hypotised him.
''If I were going to kill myself, only now would I do it,''said Lily. ''When the water looks so perfect.''
Sirius sat up and looked at her. ''That's a marcarbe thing to say,''he said.
''Wouldn't you want to die in beauty if you had a chance?''said Lily. ''Rather than dying somewhere ugly?''
''I don't think about death anymore,''said Sirius. ''I figure that life is too precious these days.'' He smiled at her. She smiled back. It was a pleasent moment. She leaned into him and he wrapped an arm protectively around her.
''Besides,''he said. ''Even when the water looks like this, it still isn't beautiful enough to have you die in it.''
It was a strange compliment. It was a strange conversation, but neither of them paid it any mind. The sky was now a mix of purple and orange. Sirius and Lily sat in silence for a while, just watching it.
''I'm glad you saved me from the lake, Sirius,''said Lily.
Sirius held her a little tighter and said nothing. He felt rather lightheaded being with her like this. Her hair was glowing a different shade of red right now. Her green eyes reflected the colours in the sunset, making her look other-worldly. He gave a deep sigh of contentment.
She kissed him.
They stayed that way for a long time, and they were happy. It was a nice change from being despondent like they had the past three months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
James was watching from the dorm window and he was fucking furious. Peter watched him nervously.
''Seriously James, you should just let this one go,''he said.
''And why the fuck should I??''snapped James viciously at Peter. ''That's my so-called best mate out there with his tongue down my girl's throat!''
''James,''said Remus from the other side of the room. ''Lily isn't your girl anymore.''
James's eyes were filled with anger. ''Oh screw you, Lupin,''he hissed. ''Lily is my girl and she bloody well knows it!''
''Oh, of course! How silly of me!'' said Remus, sarcastically. ''That must be why she's snogging Sirius! Because she's still your girl! My oh my, what an ingenious plan!'' He gave James a funny look. ''Tell me, James, how does your mind function to come up with something as stupid as that?''
James scowled and turned back to the window where Lily and Sirius were still kissing. He felt his blood boil.
''You just don't do that, though!''he protested. ''You just don't jump down the throat of your best friend's ex! It's just . .wrong!''
Remus didn't reply. Neither did Peter.
''I'm going to go out there and smack that smarmy bastard in his fucking face!'' yelled James, beside himself with jealousy.
''Don't you even think about it,''said Remus, dangerously. ''Sirius isn't doing anything wrong. He likes Lily and Lily likes him, obviously. Just leave it.''
James paced around the room like an angry tiger in a cage. He looked pained, and Remus felt rather sorry for him. It was clear that he did still want to be with Lily, but now that it was too late, he was angry at himself for not trying sooner, and angry at Sirius for taking what James saw as his.
''Seriously James,''said Remus, cooly. ''Just leave it. Don't do anything you'll regret.''
James shot him a dirty look. Remus returned it with a cool glare and James sat down. Those wolf eyes were something else. They had some kind of dangerous, creepy power about them. James didn't want to mess with Remus when he was looking at him like that.
''Fine,''he said. ''I won't do anything I'll regret.''
James lay down on his bed, facing away from Remus. He smiled grimly to himself. (( Which is conviniant, )) he thought. (( Because I'm not going to regret smacking Sirius in the face. ))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius and Lily walked back to the school. It was late and they weren't supposed to be out at this time. Lily smiled to herself. Not that it had stopped them before. Sirius's hand held her's tightly and she felt safe and happy with him.
She'd been with him such a short time, but it felt longer. A day and a half felt longer. She looked into his eyes momentarily and saw a weight of emotions. His eyes hid nothing. Sirius was passionate and brave and strong and kind. He'd saved her, in more ways than one. She pulled him into a wall and kissed him hard. Sirius made a shocked little animal noise in the back of his throat but he didn't seem to mind. He held her tight against him, pulling her closer. He needed her. He ached for her.
Lily looked at him hard for a moment. ''Thank you,''she said softly. She let Sirius hug her hard. She enjoyed the strength and warmth of his tall, lean body. For the first time in a long time she felt safe and protected. She took in the feeling.
Sirius kissed her forehead. She felt so little in his arms, like a doll. He wanted to keep her safe. He never wanted her to feel pain ever again.
''I'm going to look after you,''whispered Sirius. ''No matter what happens.''
Lily smiled. ''I hope so.''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My father is a rich man
He wears a rich man's cloak
Gave me the keys to his kingdom
Gave me a cup of gold
He said ''I have many mansions
And there are many rooms to see''
But I left by the back door
And I threw away the key . . .
And for the first time
For the first time
For the first time
I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's chapter 8. The next one should be rather good as James might do something about Sirius. I don't know yet though. Either way, tension's mounting! Lol. I don't know when the explosion from James is really gonna come, but it will, and by crikey, it won't be pretty.
Once again, thanks very much for all the reviews. :-) They make me happpyyyyy
Luv Lux
xox
MER GIRL
Chapter 8 : For the first time I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a lover
A lover like no other
She got soul, soul, sweet soul
And she teach me how to sing
Shows me colours when there's none to see
Gives me hope when I can't believe that
For the first time I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius woke up that morning happy. He got dressed and had his breakfast in the Great Hall then headed for lessons with a smile on his face. Most people noticed his good mood but didn't dwell on it. They were just pleased that Sirius was back to being his old happy-go-lucky self.
There was only one person who dwelled on Sirius's sudden change of face.
Remus Lupin.
He walked beside Sirius on the way to Divination, peering at him through watchful eyes. There was a new glint in Sirius's bright blue eyes today. Obviously there was that look in his eyes that said that he was happy, but there was a new glint there too.
Something Remus couldn't put his finger on.
''What're you so happy about?'' said Lupin.
Sirius turned and looked at his friend with a confused expression. ''Can't a guy be happy? What's with all the suspicion, cowboy?''
Remus blinked. ''Did you just call me cowboy?''he said.
''No.''
Sirius giggled to himself and kept walking, humming a song to himself.
Remus smiled to himself. He felt bad now for feeling suspicious. Lupin figured that it was better to see Sirius happy, rather than the way he'd been over the past few months. It was just that Sirius was usually so open. He wouldn't have been unhappy for that long without a good reason, and now that he was happy again he wasn't talking about it. It was like he was pretending that nothing had happened and that was what made Remus suspicious. Plus, Sirius hadn't even given the reason for why he was on top of the world all of a sudden.
Remus decided that he wouldn't ask about it for a while, and would just leave Sirius to dance around in his gleeful stupor.
(( I wonder if it something to do with that thing about Lily? )) Remus wondered.
Remus watched Sirius closely for the rest of the day. What he couldn't help noticing was the way Sirius and Lily were acting around eachother. It was more than flirty. They were all over eachother. It was weird.
Remus nudged James during Potions.
''James,''he hissed. James turned around.
''What?''he said.
''Look at Sirius and Lily,''he said, pointing. ''What's going on there?''
James looked and within moments he was scowling. ''Sirius had better not be thinking about messing around with Lily,''he said.
''But you two aren't together anymore,''pointed out Remus.
''So?'' snapped James. ''Maybe I was thinking about asking her back out!''
''Are you?'' blinked Remus. ''It's been quite a while . . . ''
''I don't want Lily with another guy,''said James stubbornly. He continued to glare at Sirius. ''Especially not with one of my best mates.''
''I don't see the problem, personally,''said Remus, turning back to his potion. ''I mean, what's wrong with Lily being happy, James? She's been depressed enough. I would've thought you'd have been happy to see her getting along with another boy.''
''Well, I'm not!'' cried James. ''I still like her.'' He blushed. ''I didn't realise how much I missed her until a few weeks ago.''
''You treated her pretty badly, you know,''said Remus, darkly.
''I know, I know,''sighed James. ''I just . . .I just wish that we could give it another go.''
Remus scoffed at him. ''I don't believe you,''he said. ''I think you're only saying this because she's flirting like crazy with Sirius and now you're jealous because you thought that no-one but you would ever have the guts to try it on with Lily Evans.''
James went red with anger. ''Oh, fuck you,''he said. ''Don't you start all your pretentious pyscho babble with me, Lupin. I am sorry for what I did to Lily, and I do want to make it up to her, really I do.''
''You were a complete arse, mind you, James,''said Remus, not in the slightest attempt trying to see James's side of the story. He remembered how miserable Lily had looked those few months, how thin she'd gone, the cuts on her arms. He'd seen it all, whilst James had played away with his new girlfriend. Even though James was one of his best friends, Remus knew that James had been in the wrong.
''I know I was,''said James dully. He looked over at Lily again, who in the middle of a play fight with Sirius.
''I do not like this at all,''James said.
''Yeah well, tough bloody luck,''said Remus. ''If Sirius and Lily are together I say bloody good for them. They've both been so miserable lately - they deserve some happiness.''
James said nothing more and helped with the potion in silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have a brother
When I'm a brother in need
I spend my whole time running
He spends his running after me
When I feel myself going down
I just call and he comes around
But for the first time
I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius and Lily walked round the grounds of Hogwarts that evening hand in hand. The weather was nice, cool but not cold, and the sunset iluminated the sky in every kind of pink, orange, purple and red. It was strikingly beautiful.
Sirius took a deep breath of fragrant air as they sat down underneath a tree next to the lake. The water picked up on the colours in the sky and was like a beautiful mirror. They both stared at it.
''It's lovely,''said Lily, more to herself than Sirius.
''Hm,''said Sirius lazily. The movements of the water hypotised him.
''If I were going to kill myself, only now would I do it,''said Lily. ''When the water looks so perfect.''
Sirius sat up and looked at her. ''That's a marcarbe thing to say,''he said.
''Wouldn't you want to die in beauty if you had a chance?''said Lily. ''Rather than dying somewhere ugly?''
''I don't think about death anymore,''said Sirius. ''I figure that life is too precious these days.'' He smiled at her. She smiled back. It was a pleasent moment. She leaned into him and he wrapped an arm protectively around her.
''Besides,''he said. ''Even when the water looks like this, it still isn't beautiful enough to have you die in it.''
It was a strange compliment. It was a strange conversation, but neither of them paid it any mind. The sky was now a mix of purple and orange. Sirius and Lily sat in silence for a while, just watching it.
''I'm glad you saved me from the lake, Sirius,''said Lily.
Sirius held her a little tighter and said nothing. He felt rather lightheaded being with her like this. Her hair was glowing a different shade of red right now. Her green eyes reflected the colours in the sunset, making her look other-worldly. He gave a deep sigh of contentment.
She kissed him.
They stayed that way for a long time, and they were happy. It was a nice change from being despondent like they had the past three months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
James was watching from the dorm window and he was fucking furious. Peter watched him nervously.
''Seriously James, you should just let this one go,''he said.
''And why the fuck should I??''snapped James viciously at Peter. ''That's my so-called best mate out there with his tongue down my girl's throat!''
''James,''said Remus from the other side of the room. ''Lily isn't your girl anymore.''
James's eyes were filled with anger. ''Oh screw you, Lupin,''he hissed. ''Lily is my girl and she bloody well knows it!''
''Oh, of course! How silly of me!'' said Remus, sarcastically. ''That must be why she's snogging Sirius! Because she's still your girl! My oh my, what an ingenious plan!'' He gave James a funny look. ''Tell me, James, how does your mind function to come up with something as stupid as that?''
James scowled and turned back to the window where Lily and Sirius were still kissing. He felt his blood boil.
''You just don't do that, though!''he protested. ''You just don't jump down the throat of your best friend's ex! It's just . .wrong!''
Remus didn't reply. Neither did Peter.
''I'm going to go out there and smack that smarmy bastard in his fucking face!'' yelled James, beside himself with jealousy.
''Don't you even think about it,''said Remus, dangerously. ''Sirius isn't doing anything wrong. He likes Lily and Lily likes him, obviously. Just leave it.''
James paced around the room like an angry tiger in a cage. He looked pained, and Remus felt rather sorry for him. It was clear that he did still want to be with Lily, but now that it was too late, he was angry at himself for not trying sooner, and angry at Sirius for taking what James saw as his.
''Seriously James,''said Remus, cooly. ''Just leave it. Don't do anything you'll regret.''
James shot him a dirty look. Remus returned it with a cool glare and James sat down. Those wolf eyes were something else. They had some kind of dangerous, creepy power about them. James didn't want to mess with Remus when he was looking at him like that.
''Fine,''he said. ''I won't do anything I'll regret.''
James lay down on his bed, facing away from Remus. He smiled grimly to himself. (( Which is conviniant, )) he thought. (( Because I'm not going to regret smacking Sirius in the face. ))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius and Lily walked back to the school. It was late and they weren't supposed to be out at this time. Lily smiled to herself. Not that it had stopped them before. Sirius's hand held her's tightly and she felt safe and happy with him.
She'd been with him such a short time, but it felt longer. A day and a half felt longer. She looked into his eyes momentarily and saw a weight of emotions. His eyes hid nothing. Sirius was passionate and brave and strong and kind. He'd saved her, in more ways than one. She pulled him into a wall and kissed him hard. Sirius made a shocked little animal noise in the back of his throat but he didn't seem to mind. He held her tight against him, pulling her closer. He needed her. He ached for her.
Lily looked at him hard for a moment. ''Thank you,''she said softly. She let Sirius hug her hard. She enjoyed the strength and warmth of his tall, lean body. For the first time in a long time she felt safe and protected. She took in the feeling.
Sirius kissed her forehead. She felt so little in his arms, like a doll. He wanted to keep her safe. He never wanted her to feel pain ever again.
''I'm going to look after you,''whispered Sirius. ''No matter what happens.''
Lily smiled. ''I hope so.''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My father is a rich man
He wears a rich man's cloak
Gave me the keys to his kingdom
Gave me a cup of gold
He said ''I have many mansions
And there are many rooms to see''
But I left by the back door
And I threw away the key . . .
And for the first time
For the first time
For the first time
I feel love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that's chapter 8. The next one should be rather good as James might do something about Sirius. I don't know yet though. Either way, tension's mounting! Lol. I don't know when the explosion from James is really gonna come, but it will, and by crikey, it won't be pretty.
Once again, thanks very much for all the reviews. :-) They make me happpyyyyy
Luv Lux
xox