Harm learns to communicate.
Rating: R for language
Genre: Humor/Fantasy. (There's no way this would ever happen on the show!)
Summary: Harm learns to communicate.
Disclaimer: I don't own the JAG crew I just like playing with them. They belong to DPB and CBS.
A/N: This is supposed to be funny. It would never happen on the show but it's fun to think about. If this did ever happen on the show it would be because the show had been cancelled. This is another story that's being written because my muse got out her baseball bat and refused to leave me alone until I wrote it!
A/N 2: Just so you know I can't write angst. I blame it on the fact I can't read angst unless I'm fairly convinced I'm going to get a happy ending. I'm also assuming Clay doesn't survive the mission.
Feedback: Sure! Just keep in mind the fact it's cold here in Nebraska tonight and flames will keep me warm!
I've been standing in the admiral's office with him yelling at me for the past twenty minutes. I wish he'd let me get a word in! He's rather intimidating standing there ramrod straight, in uniform, and yelling at the top of his lungs.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking? You resign, go to Paraguay and jump into a classified mission after you'd been ORDERED to stay the hell out. Now I suppose you want me to ignore your resignation and reinstate you right?"
"Actually wrong sir, I have no desire to be reinstated. I just wanted to say it's been a pleasure to serve under you all these years." With that said I turn and head for the elevator. I'm in the middle of the bullpen when the admiral's voice reaches my ears.
"ATTENTION ON DECK!"
I actually respond out of habit more than anything else. It's one of the first things they teach you at the academy, assume the position first and then question if necessary.
"What do you mean you have no desire to be reinstated?"
Damn, I was hoping I'd be able to avoid having this conversation in front of everyone. Oh well.
"I mean that while I wouldn't mind still being in the Navy I have absolutely no desire to work at JAG again and let's face it I'm too old to be a pilot. I knew what I was doing when I headed to Paraguay and I know now that I made the right decision." Everyone in the bullpen has stopped working and is watching this conversation like it the Fourth of July fireworks at the Mall.
"And what were you doing?"
"Mac is one of my closest friends and I couldn't in good conscience let her stay down there fighting for her life with nobody around to help her except gunny. Considering what happened when I was arrested and charged with Loren's murder I was positive nobody else was going to do anything."
"Just WHAT do you mean by THAT?"
" Well sir, there was a time when you wouldn't have let orders from the SecNav deter you from supporting one of your people. This time you not only stay away from the case you order everyone else to stay away too. Which let me tell you they did a hell of a job of obeying. Not one visit, phone call, or letter from any of them. Nobody gave a damn about me or how I was doing. And the only JAG personnel I saw in court were the ones testifying against me! If it had been any one of you in there, I would have been at least checking to make sure you were okay. Hell probably the only reason I'm not sitting on death row in Leavenworth is that NCIS agent realized they ran a crappy investigation and decided to do it right. Once they started looking at other possibilities it really wasn't that hard to find a suspect was it. Hell if I'd had decent defense counsel they probably could have found the killer. But, NO you have to have an attorney flown in that so anal she has to keep a certain number of pencils sharpened and in her briefcase before she can work. I think her whole defense strategy was "'Your honor my client says he's innocent the defense rests.' God knows she didn't actually look for any evidence or do a decent cross exam as far as I could tell. And I'm supposed to just trust this same office to try and help Mac? Yeah right."
"Rabb, you never mentioned anything about this."
"And you want to know why? Okay, remember that case you ordered me to defend after I was the one that recommended charges? I told you I was worried about being objective and you basically said tough shit you'll do it anyway. Then when the client complained I was replaced and you told me that it had been a test to see if I was ready to sit on the bench and I flunked and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change your opinion. Between that and Mac accusing me of prejudice before the trial even started when I was given a case to hear, I learned that nobody here cared what my thoughts or feelings were. I was just around to project that Navy poster boy image. Well guess what folks? I'm not a boy I a man and I'm not perfect I do have feelings."
"Rabb......"
"Let me finish sir. What else do I have around here? Not much, I've got an old academy friend who can't be bothered to visit me in jail but when things go wrong with case he defended I'm the first one he chooses to yell at. Never mind that I tried to help. I didn't make things perfect therefore I screwed up!"
"I've got this other friend. I was best man at his wedding and am a godfather to his son. He also can't be bothered to visit me in jail and the only thing he ever wants to talk about being his problems. Not only does he want to talk about them he wants me to fix them. Like he can't figure out on his own that he's over analyzing things and needs to quit thinking and start living. However he never once bothers asking me if I'm having any problems."
"Lastly there's Mac. Mac who says she's in love with me. Yet when I follow her out to the Guadalcanal all she wants to know is what would I give up to have her. Like sacrificing things is how you prove love instead of how you destroy it with resentment and anger. Then she doesn't even bother sticking around to hear my answer of everything. She also can't be bothered with a visit until I'm out of jail and she's on her way to Paraguay to play pregnant wife and diamond expert for Clay. She then proceeds to tell me that I'm only ever interested in her when she's got one foot out the door and can't do anything about it. She completely ignores the fact that I've been trying to get in touch with her for days and she ignores every other time I've shown interest in the past two years. I'm so stunned by her comment that I can't decide what to say so she takes that as a sign that she' right again and leaves. Then when I find her in Paraguay and we complete the mission she tells me she still wants a relationship. Right she wants a relationship. That would be why she'll run off to any country to do any harebrained mission Clayton can dream up but she can't be bothered to have a simple conversation with me. She expects her to say I want you and me to say okay. The problem is her words are I love you and her actions are you're just a part of my life when it's convenient to me. And you want to know why in the hell I don't want to come back to JAG? Think about it. Now if you'll excuse me sir I have a plane to catch." With that I walk to the elevator and head out of JAG headquarters for what is probably the last time. The trip to Grandma Sarah's is just what I need before I start my new job. I'm going to be working for the FBI. I always did prefer investigation to litigation.
~THE END~
Rating: R for language
Genre: Humor/Fantasy. (There's no way this would ever happen on the show!)
Summary: Harm learns to communicate.
Disclaimer: I don't own the JAG crew I just like playing with them. They belong to DPB and CBS.
A/N: This is supposed to be funny. It would never happen on the show but it's fun to think about. If this did ever happen on the show it would be because the show had been cancelled. This is another story that's being written because my muse got out her baseball bat and refused to leave me alone until I wrote it!
A/N 2: Just so you know I can't write angst. I blame it on the fact I can't read angst unless I'm fairly convinced I'm going to get a happy ending. I'm also assuming Clay doesn't survive the mission.
Feedback: Sure! Just keep in mind the fact it's cold here in Nebraska tonight and flames will keep me warm!
I've been standing in the admiral's office with him yelling at me for the past twenty minutes. I wish he'd let me get a word in! He's rather intimidating standing there ramrod straight, in uniform, and yelling at the top of his lungs.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking? You resign, go to Paraguay and jump into a classified mission after you'd been ORDERED to stay the hell out. Now I suppose you want me to ignore your resignation and reinstate you right?"
"Actually wrong sir, I have no desire to be reinstated. I just wanted to say it's been a pleasure to serve under you all these years." With that said I turn and head for the elevator. I'm in the middle of the bullpen when the admiral's voice reaches my ears.
"ATTENTION ON DECK!"
I actually respond out of habit more than anything else. It's one of the first things they teach you at the academy, assume the position first and then question if necessary.
"What do you mean you have no desire to be reinstated?"
Damn, I was hoping I'd be able to avoid having this conversation in front of everyone. Oh well.
"I mean that while I wouldn't mind still being in the Navy I have absolutely no desire to work at JAG again and let's face it I'm too old to be a pilot. I knew what I was doing when I headed to Paraguay and I know now that I made the right decision." Everyone in the bullpen has stopped working and is watching this conversation like it the Fourth of July fireworks at the Mall.
"And what were you doing?"
"Mac is one of my closest friends and I couldn't in good conscience let her stay down there fighting for her life with nobody around to help her except gunny. Considering what happened when I was arrested and charged with Loren's murder I was positive nobody else was going to do anything."
"Just WHAT do you mean by THAT?"
" Well sir, there was a time when you wouldn't have let orders from the SecNav deter you from supporting one of your people. This time you not only stay away from the case you order everyone else to stay away too. Which let me tell you they did a hell of a job of obeying. Not one visit, phone call, or letter from any of them. Nobody gave a damn about me or how I was doing. And the only JAG personnel I saw in court were the ones testifying against me! If it had been any one of you in there, I would have been at least checking to make sure you were okay. Hell probably the only reason I'm not sitting on death row in Leavenworth is that NCIS agent realized they ran a crappy investigation and decided to do it right. Once they started looking at other possibilities it really wasn't that hard to find a suspect was it. Hell if I'd had decent defense counsel they probably could have found the killer. But, NO you have to have an attorney flown in that so anal she has to keep a certain number of pencils sharpened and in her briefcase before she can work. I think her whole defense strategy was "'Your honor my client says he's innocent the defense rests.' God knows she didn't actually look for any evidence or do a decent cross exam as far as I could tell. And I'm supposed to just trust this same office to try and help Mac? Yeah right."
"Rabb, you never mentioned anything about this."
"And you want to know why? Okay, remember that case you ordered me to defend after I was the one that recommended charges? I told you I was worried about being objective and you basically said tough shit you'll do it anyway. Then when the client complained I was replaced and you told me that it had been a test to see if I was ready to sit on the bench and I flunked and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to change your opinion. Between that and Mac accusing me of prejudice before the trial even started when I was given a case to hear, I learned that nobody here cared what my thoughts or feelings were. I was just around to project that Navy poster boy image. Well guess what folks? I'm not a boy I a man and I'm not perfect I do have feelings."
"Rabb......"
"Let me finish sir. What else do I have around here? Not much, I've got an old academy friend who can't be bothered to visit me in jail but when things go wrong with case he defended I'm the first one he chooses to yell at. Never mind that I tried to help. I didn't make things perfect therefore I screwed up!"
"I've got this other friend. I was best man at his wedding and am a godfather to his son. He also can't be bothered to visit me in jail and the only thing he ever wants to talk about being his problems. Not only does he want to talk about them he wants me to fix them. Like he can't figure out on his own that he's over analyzing things and needs to quit thinking and start living. However he never once bothers asking me if I'm having any problems."
"Lastly there's Mac. Mac who says she's in love with me. Yet when I follow her out to the Guadalcanal all she wants to know is what would I give up to have her. Like sacrificing things is how you prove love instead of how you destroy it with resentment and anger. Then she doesn't even bother sticking around to hear my answer of everything. She also can't be bothered with a visit until I'm out of jail and she's on her way to Paraguay to play pregnant wife and diamond expert for Clay. She then proceeds to tell me that I'm only ever interested in her when she's got one foot out the door and can't do anything about it. She completely ignores the fact that I've been trying to get in touch with her for days and she ignores every other time I've shown interest in the past two years. I'm so stunned by her comment that I can't decide what to say so she takes that as a sign that she' right again and leaves. Then when I find her in Paraguay and we complete the mission she tells me she still wants a relationship. Right she wants a relationship. That would be why she'll run off to any country to do any harebrained mission Clayton can dream up but she can't be bothered to have a simple conversation with me. She expects her to say I want you and me to say okay. The problem is her words are I love you and her actions are you're just a part of my life when it's convenient to me. And you want to know why in the hell I don't want to come back to JAG? Think about it. Now if you'll excuse me sir I have a plane to catch." With that I walk to the elevator and head out of JAG headquarters for what is probably the last time. The trip to Grandma Sarah's is just what I need before I start my new job. I'm going to be working for the FBI. I always did prefer investigation to litigation.
~THE END~