Disclaimer : I don't own anything, obviously, otherwise I would be rolling in money. I also don't own Smashing Pumpkins and they're song To Sheila.
MER GIRL
Chapter 10 : It's just a matter of grace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight fades through blistered avalon
The sky's cruel torch on aching autobahn
Into the uncertain divine
We scream into the last divide
You make me real
You make me real
Strong as I feel
You make me real
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius had let Lily go.
James had explained everything to her the next day, and Lily had listened, rapt, with tears of joy in her eyes. She was back with the one thing she had truly wanted. Sirius had watched it all from a bench not too far away, his heart heavy, but strangely light aswell.
(( I suppose this makes me the best friend of all time . . .)) thought Sirius miserably.
He could see the expression of pure happiness in Lily's eyes. It was like before now she'd been hanging over the edge of a cliff, ready to fall, but now James had pulled her back.
Sirius felt like he'd been the gravity in that situation now. Maybe he'd made her worse. He sighed and turned away, staring down at the lake from his bench. He saw the day at the lake when he'd saved Lily flash before his eyes and he felt a great weight pull him down.
Lily was so happy now. It was obvious. Sirius felt sad, but not truly depressed like he'd been before. At least now he didn't have to worry about losing his best friend anymore.
The rest of the term passed in a hazy, saturnine glow. Sirius remembered little about it. All he remembered was the joy in Lily's eyes and the expression of happiness on James's face. Sirius was comforted in the fact that he'd made two people who meant everything to him very happy. Deep down, he known that it was Lily and James who were meant to be together - not Lily and himself, as much as he'd wanted it to be.
~~~~~~~~~
Sirius walked out of Hogwarts, for what he imagined to be the last time ever. He turned and looked back at it for a moment, and smiled vaguely at all the memories he'd have of it. His chest swelled with pride and pain and happiness. He was leaving school. He was a man. It was time now to go out and make a name for himself in the world, no matter what kind of name it was.
The world had changed. Things were dangerous now, but exciting and terrible. Sirius relished the times ahead.
Someone tapped his back and Sirius turned around. Lily was standing there smiling. She looked so much better these days. She'd stopped being as thin and her face was happy and sweet and young.
''Hello Sirius,''she said.
Sirius beamed ''Hello Lily,''he said.
Lily threw herself into Sirius's arms and he held her there for a long while. He'd missed this feeling.
They let eachother go and looked at eachother. ''You're a very good friend,''said Lily softly.
''I know,''said Sirius with a half-smile. He reached into his pocket and brought out a simple necklace made of silver. It sparkled in the light. At the end of the necklace was something that looked very much like a diamond. Sirius handed it to Lily.
''I bought this for you years ago,''he said, a slight tone of sadness in his voice. ''And I never had the courage to give it to you then.'' He smiled. ''I want you to have it now.''
Lily looked dumbstruck by the lovely thing. ''Oh . . . Sirius . . .''she exclaimed. ''I can't take this . . . I don't deserve it really-''
Sirius cut her off. ''I want you to have it.'' He closed her hand around the necklace. ''Think of it as a promise. This is a promise that says that I'll look after you. Remember when I told you I would?''
Lily nodded. She looked Sirius in the eyes, lost for words. Slowly she put the necklace on, and then hugged Sirius. He held her for a long time.
''I'll look after you as best I can,''he said.
A long moment passed.
The coaches to take to students to the Hogwarts Express arrived.
''You sitting with James on the way back?''asked Sirius.
''Yes,''Lily nodded.
Sirius grinned at her. ''I won't get in the way then,''he smirked. His face turned serious. ''I probably won't see you for a while then.''he said, sadly.
Lily nodded. ''But we'll see eachother soon,''she said. She grinned. ''And that's a promise.''
Sirius beamed at her. ''Good,''he said.
Everything went quiet. They held eachother again.
''Goodbye, Sirius Black,''said Lily.
''Goodbye, Lily Evans,''said Sirius.
And then she got into the first coach and was gone. Sirius watched the coach leave the school. He put his hands in his pockets. It felt like the end, even though he knew it wasn't. It was the end of they're short love affair at Hogwarts, definantely. They'd never be that way again, and that was how it felt like the end of an era.
Sirius waited for the next coach on his own. There were tears in his clear eyes, but he was smiling. Right now, it was all he could do.
He smiled. A single crystal tear fell from his left eye. He was glad everything had happened, but sad that it had ended.
A coach pulled up. He got in. He left it all behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A summer storm graces all of me
Highway war, sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
And take you home into the night
You make me real
Lately I just can't seem to believe
You make me real
Discard my friends to change the scenery
Strong as I feel
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
But now it's just a matter of grace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think that's the end. Aww I hate sad endings. Poor Sirius . . . Anyway . . . thanks everyone for the reviews. :-) It means a lot.
Luv Lux
xox
MER GIRL
Chapter 10 : It's just a matter of grace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twilight fades through blistered avalon
The sky's cruel torch on aching autobahn
Into the uncertain divine
We scream into the last divide
You make me real
You make me real
Strong as I feel
You make me real
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sirius had let Lily go.
James had explained everything to her the next day, and Lily had listened, rapt, with tears of joy in her eyes. She was back with the one thing she had truly wanted. Sirius had watched it all from a bench not too far away, his heart heavy, but strangely light aswell.
(( I suppose this makes me the best friend of all time . . .)) thought Sirius miserably.
He could see the expression of pure happiness in Lily's eyes. It was like before now she'd been hanging over the edge of a cliff, ready to fall, but now James had pulled her back.
Sirius felt like he'd been the gravity in that situation now. Maybe he'd made her worse. He sighed and turned away, staring down at the lake from his bench. He saw the day at the lake when he'd saved Lily flash before his eyes and he felt a great weight pull him down.
Lily was so happy now. It was obvious. Sirius felt sad, but not truly depressed like he'd been before. At least now he didn't have to worry about losing his best friend anymore.
The rest of the term passed in a hazy, saturnine glow. Sirius remembered little about it. All he remembered was the joy in Lily's eyes and the expression of happiness on James's face. Sirius was comforted in the fact that he'd made two people who meant everything to him very happy. Deep down, he known that it was Lily and James who were meant to be together - not Lily and himself, as much as he'd wanted it to be.
~~~~~~~~~
Sirius walked out of Hogwarts, for what he imagined to be the last time ever. He turned and looked back at it for a moment, and smiled vaguely at all the memories he'd have of it. His chest swelled with pride and pain and happiness. He was leaving school. He was a man. It was time now to go out and make a name for himself in the world, no matter what kind of name it was.
The world had changed. Things were dangerous now, but exciting and terrible. Sirius relished the times ahead.
Someone tapped his back and Sirius turned around. Lily was standing there smiling. She looked so much better these days. She'd stopped being as thin and her face was happy and sweet and young.
''Hello Sirius,''she said.
Sirius beamed ''Hello Lily,''he said.
Lily threw herself into Sirius's arms and he held her there for a long while. He'd missed this feeling.
They let eachother go and looked at eachother. ''You're a very good friend,''said Lily softly.
''I know,''said Sirius with a half-smile. He reached into his pocket and brought out a simple necklace made of silver. It sparkled in the light. At the end of the necklace was something that looked very much like a diamond. Sirius handed it to Lily.
''I bought this for you years ago,''he said, a slight tone of sadness in his voice. ''And I never had the courage to give it to you then.'' He smiled. ''I want you to have it now.''
Lily looked dumbstruck by the lovely thing. ''Oh . . . Sirius . . .''she exclaimed. ''I can't take this . . . I don't deserve it really-''
Sirius cut her off. ''I want you to have it.'' He closed her hand around the necklace. ''Think of it as a promise. This is a promise that says that I'll look after you. Remember when I told you I would?''
Lily nodded. She looked Sirius in the eyes, lost for words. Slowly she put the necklace on, and then hugged Sirius. He held her for a long time.
''I'll look after you as best I can,''he said.
A long moment passed.
The coaches to take to students to the Hogwarts Express arrived.
''You sitting with James on the way back?''asked Sirius.
''Yes,''Lily nodded.
Sirius grinned at her. ''I won't get in the way then,''he smirked. His face turned serious. ''I probably won't see you for a while then.''he said, sadly.
Lily nodded. ''But we'll see eachother soon,''she said. She grinned. ''And that's a promise.''
Sirius beamed at her. ''Good,''he said.
Everything went quiet. They held eachother again.
''Goodbye, Sirius Black,''said Lily.
''Goodbye, Lily Evans,''said Sirius.
And then she got into the first coach and was gone. Sirius watched the coach leave the school. He put his hands in his pockets. It felt like the end, even though he knew it wasn't. It was the end of they're short love affair at Hogwarts, definantely. They'd never be that way again, and that was how it felt like the end of an era.
Sirius waited for the next coach on his own. There were tears in his clear eyes, but he was smiling. Right now, it was all he could do.
He smiled. A single crystal tear fell from his left eye. He was glad everything had happened, but sad that it had ended.
A coach pulled up. He got in. He left it all behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A summer storm graces all of me
Highway war, sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
And take you home into the night
You make me real
Lately I just can't seem to believe
You make me real
Discard my friends to change the scenery
Strong as I feel
It meant the world to hold a bruising faith
But now it's just a matter of grace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think that's the end. Aww I hate sad endings. Poor Sirius . . . Anyway . . . thanks everyone for the reviews. :-) It means a lot.
Luv Lux
xox