"A Coyote's Dream Come True"
Cartoon Network fans are no doubt familiar with those humorous, minute-long commercials that promote the channel. Well, here is a Wile E/Roadrunner commercial of my own.
A lonely highway is seen winding through the desert at noon. A diner appears next to the road. Inside the diner, a fat man in a white, yet grease-stained apron washes dishes behind the bar. Several strangers are eating ham hocks and other fatty foods at their tables. A jukebox plays slow country music.
Suddenly, the front door flies open. The little bell on the top of the door goes "dingle-dingle". A thin, furry figure leans against the door frame and gasps for air.
It's Wile E Coyote.
Wile E slowly heads toward the bar. His shadow reaches the bar before he does. The coyote struggles to get up onto the stool.
The fat waiter walks up to him while wiping a glass with a rag. "Can I help you?" he grunts.
Wile E only pants and mimes himself drinking a glass of water. The waiter gets the hint and soon gives him a glass of water and a menu. The waiter turns around to put the glass that he'd been drying back on the rack. He turns back and discovers Wile E has finished the water and is now looking at the menu.
"What can I get ya?" asks the fat waiter.
Wile E scans the menu. Suddenly, his eyes bulge. He catches an entrée on the menu: Fried Roadrunner. Immediately, Wile E shows the waiter the menu and points to item frantically.
"Okay, buddy," says the waiter. He takes the menu and leans into the kitchen. "I need one order of fried double-R, rare."
Wile E waits and waits and waits; his body is in a new position every few minutes. At last, the waiter returns with a steaming plate of meat, a baked potato, and some parsley on the side.
"Enjoy," says the waiter.
Wile E shakily grabs a fork and knife and cuts into the roadrunner meat. He lifts up a piece of meat on the end of his fork and bites into it. He chews for a moment and stops.
Before we know it, we see Wile E Coyote running in slow motion through a green valley with mountains all around and birds flying through the air. You know, one of those "eternal bliss" imagination scenes. Wile E is jumping around and doing cartwheels, all with a big smile on his face.
Suddenly, it's back to the diner. Wile E opens his eyes and looks down to discover an empty plate. Now with a full stomach, Wile E motions for the waiter to come over to him.
"Ready to pay?" asks the waiter.
Without warning, Wile E suddenly gives the waiter a big hug and drops some money on the counter before skipping out the door.
The waiter scratches his head and pockets the money. He turns and suddenly stops.
Blocking his way, with wings folded across his chest, is the Roadrunner. He is tapping his foot on the ground and frowning up at the waiter.
"What?" questions the waiter.
Finally, we slowly zoom out of the diner. Inside, crashing and smashing sounds can be heard, and we can see the waiter being chased around the diner by the roadrunner, who's nipping at his heels. The waiter says, "I didn't make the menu! Honest! OW!"
Then the "Cartoon Network: The best place for cartoons" thing appears on the screen and it quickly fades to black.
The End.