Hey guys, I just wanted to let you all know that I've totally lost my inspiration. I'm sorry that I can't give you a better chapter, but I figured I should get the last chapter out. I don't know when it'll get it done though. Tomorrow, a week, maybe even a couple months. Today pushed me over the edge, and there's nothing left in my head to write about. You have my f*cking friends, which aren't really friends anymore, to thank.
I don't know if any of you watch Queer As Folk, british version or US version, but I do. And, I made the mistake of telling my 'friends' that. They wrote me a note in school because they're too freaking scared to tell me to my face, that they think I'm a sick perverted f*cker. That I'm cheap, and they think I'm disgusting. I don't know if I can even bring myself to go to school anymore. They seemed okay with it until they watched it, and then I'm a sick f*ck. When they're the ones having affairs with f*cking TV guides for damn sakes (don't even ask, it's a long screwed up story).
Now, I've never hated anyone in my entire life. I don't even like the word 'hate'. But, I can honestly say that I hate them with all my heart and soul. I don't believe that they can judge me for something like that, they don't have to watch it. I never told them to watch it. They don't believe me when I say I'm straight. I'm not homosexual or bisexual in any way, shape, or form. Why can't I be straight and watch a gay show? Or write yaoi and slash? Just because I do doesn't make me homosexual or bisexual, but to them, I guess it does. And, if I was, I would be damn proud of it. They can kiss my ass!
They didn't even give me that damn note, Crystal had to tell me. I love her with all my heart right now. She had the guts to tell me, and I love her for it. She had the guts to tell me, and she wasn't even part of the stupid shit. She told me she's watched QAF before, and she said she loved it. And, I could just hug her. She's a better friend than all of them put together. She walked me home, letting me cry on her shoulder, and I can't say it enough, but I love her. She told me she was bi today, and I almost cried. I was so touched because she felt she could trust me. I support her, and I always will.
I'm really sorry for dropping that on everyone, I don't even know what to say. I just need to sit and think for a while. When I think about writing more Taito/Yamachi right now, I get so sick to my stomach. My friends know about what I write too, and all I can think about is that they think I'm such a disgusting freak. And I don't know why I even care, but I do. I'm letting it bother me so much that I can't even write anymore. I truly am sorry, though. I can't write anymore right now, I don't know when I'll be finishing Crossing Paths and/or Inexpressible Inhibition.
I really am sorry. But, I'm going to give it all I've got to get that last chapter out to you. It may be my last ever for anything, but hey, at least this story will be done. And sorry for all the shit, but it just wouldn't stop, and I'm so hurt I don't know what to do with myself. Feel free to email me or instant message me.
Well, until the next chapter.
~Aero-Grrl