Disclaimer - I don't own anything.
Notes, Thank Yous, and Whatnot
I have some quick or not so quick things to say.
First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support. Everything is starting to look up, well, I like to think it is. I plan on switching schools next year, I don't want anything to do with the people I associated with. I'm moving on, and I'm not letting them bring me down. You guys are better than the people at my school, you have all my respect.
nEo-cHaN- I was reading your review and almost cried! ^^ Which is a good thing, it means a lot to me. Funny thing is, Crystal said the exact same thing about my writing 'career'. When I told my friends, and they seemed so excepting about it I was so thrilled. I couldn't believe I had worried about it for so long. And now here I am with only one or two friends. Mikee, Crystal, and Sarah... Okay so that's three, lol. I don't know how long the Crystal thing will last, we hadn't talked much before all this crap happened. Mikee, she lives in Maryland, so I can't see her. And Sarah, she's gone through this shit too, just different circumstances. But, thank you for your kind words. ^^ They mean a lot.
Splash- My friends liked what I write, they read it all the time; it was just until recently that everything had changed. Also, they knew I watched QAF and I told them it had explicit content on it, and they were okay with that too, then all of a sudden they see it and everything changes. My school doesn't have a lot of clubs for after school and stuff, so no we don't have a Gay/Straight Alliance. Thanks for making me feel better though. ^^
To the people who emailed me- Thank you so much! You are the best! I love you! ^^
I wish I could thank all of you individually, but there's so many of you! ^^ Thank you all, I love every single one of you! You've all helped me realize that I can't give up my writing. I've gotten the inspiration I needed to write this chapter. I'm not promising that it's the best, but I gave it my best shot. Hopefully no one is disappointed with it. Enjoy!
Crossing Paths - Chapter Thirteen
I shake my head. "Well, I'm fine now." I reply with the best masked reassurance I can work up. Truth is, I'm really not okay, but she doesn't have to know that. My mom puts her hand on my forehead, but I brush it off. "I'm fine, mom, really."
She sighs, and her concerned expression deepens. "I haven't seen you like this since you stopped spending time with Taichi." She says thoughtfully. Yeah, if she only knew. Her eyes widen after a moment. I think it's hit her. "Did something happen between you two?"
"No," I start, okay, lying will have to do, I guess. "We're okay, I'm just not feeling well. I'll be fine tomorrow." So, half of that was a lie, and the other half was truth. I'm really not feeling that well, but I'm pretty sure I won't be fine tomorrow.
After constant reassurance for almost an hour, my mother finally leaves, and I make her take Takeru with her. I drag myself out of bed, and walk into the living room. I collapse on the couch, a shaky sigh leaving my mouth. I close my eyes, and then there's a knock at the door. I curse under my breath, but get up reluctantly and answer it. I open the door and my eyes meet chocolate brown ones. I glare at them, then slam the door shut. I know he's not standing outside my apartment door right now looking worried. He has no right to.
"Yama?" I hear his muffled voice, and glare at the door. "Please let me in. Please?" I move my glare from the door to the floor. My hands are balled into fists at my sides. I can't allow myself to let him in. I won't allow myself to let him in. "Yama," His muffled voice sounds like it's at the breaking point. "I heard from Takeru that you were sick." There's a short pause. "Will you please let me in?" I watch as my hand moves towards the door handle, and for some reason it won't listen to my brain; it won't stop. My hand grips the doorknob and turns it, pulling it open. I stare at his worried face, contemplating whether or not I should slam the door in his face again. He gives me a half smile, but I stare at him expressionless. "Are you okay?" He asks finally.
I turn away from him and stalk to the couch, and fall onto it. I then realize I'm still just in my boxers. I hear the door click closed, but I know he's coming towards the couch so I don't even make the effort to look. "I'm fine," I say finally. "As if you care anyway."
He sits down on the couch next to me, and it takes everything I've got not to physically lash out at him. It's mighty tempting though. "How come you didn't come to school?" He asks. What nerve he has to even show up here.
My head flips in his direction and I give him an icy glare. "Why did you leave?" I throw back at him, I could hear the venom dripping from the words. He sighs as if he was waiting for the question. I arch an eyebrow, but my glare remains.
"I don't know." He replies, my glare slipping from my face and being replaced with utter shock. I shake my head clean of my stupor and laugh bitterly.
"Too bad that's a lie." I sneer. "Bullshit you don't know why you left. Just like when we were six."
He clears his throat, then says, "Actually we were eight."
I stand up, and stare down at him. "What?" I ask, shocked once again beyond words.
"We were eight. Well, actually you were seven going on eight and I was seven, but close enough." He rambles on, but the only thing that reruns through my head is our ages. Why was I thinking six? Wait, that means he remembers too.
"You remember too?" I ask, and he nods. "How long?" I ask the dreaded question. Someone's going to have a black eye if they tell me for a while, and it's not going to be me.
He shrugs. "Last night."
Relief washes over my body as I sigh. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was left in the dark. It then hits me that nothing was really accomplished yet. I still don't know why he left. "Why did you leave though?"
"I didn't know what to do." He admits, and my heart falls. "I wasn't expecting it. I think you got the wrong idea." My curiosity raises once he finishes his sentence.
"What do you mean, 'got the wrong idea'?" I ask curiously.
He shakes his head, and sighs shakily. He looks up at me, and says, "I'm not gay."
I swallow thickly, and try to comprehend what he'd just said. When it finally does hit me, it feels like the wind is knocked out of me. I can't seem to breathe anymore. I can't seem to figure out why it's effecting me so much. I didn't think I actually liked Taichi, hell, I didn't even know I was gay. Then the rage hits me, and I see nothing but red. "What the hell was all the shit you did then?" I growl. He gives me a confused look. "All the smiles, you wanting to sleep in my bed, all the little things you said that dropped the hints that you were interested." All the recent developments forgotten in the midst of my rage. "And, what makes you think I'm gay? It was a split second moment, and I was tired. Who's not to say I wasn't delusional or something."
Taichi laughs at my last sentence. "I don't know," He continues seriously. "But, as for all the little 'hints' I dropped, I thought maybe..." As he trails off, I blow up.
"You thought maybe you were, so you'd use me to figure it out. I knew there was a reason I didn't like you. A reason why I hated you. Well, I've just been given a reality check." I pause for a short second. "One that hurts like hell, but one nonetheless." I stare at him for a few moments, contemplating what I should say next. When nothing comes to mind, I say, "Get out." He looks up at me, and I scream, "Get out!" I grab him by the arm and pull him up off the couch. I push him towards the door and he stumbles. "Get out. Get out. Get out." I repeat, pushing him further towards the door. "Fuck you, Tai." I say as I slam the door in his face.
The rest of the school year goes back to normal after that. The senior project turned out okay, and both Taichi and I got a B+. We didn't talk after I pushed him out of my apartment. Though, I came to the conclusion that I had fallen for him, which wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. Since, I would never have him.
The nights I stayed up trying to figure out what was wrong with me. My mother had taken me to the doctor and I was told that I was an insomniac. Now I'm on medication, but at least I can sleep at night now. Even if it is a restless sleep, and most nights I still wake up drenched in sweat, face wet. I almost dropped out of school, but Takeru told me to snap the hell out of it, get my ass in gear and finish school. Even if I couldn't bear to see Taichi. So, I decided that I would get over everything before I graduated. I had to. There weren't anymore words exchanged between the two of us after we graduated. We wished each other luck, and that was the end of it.
I walk into my dorm room at the college, and set my things down on my bed. I take a look around the room, and notice that my roommate has already moved their stuff in. I open the door to walk back out of the room, and I run into someone. I look at them, and my heart jumps. "Tai." I say astonished.
He glances into the room and says, "Looks like we're dorm mates." He gives me a smile, and I arch an eyebrow. There's a silence between us, and he finally speaks again. "I'm sorry." He stares at me, waiting for a reply. I stare back at him blankly, then my lips curve upwards into a half smile.
"Sure," I say. "I just can't get away from you, can I?"
He shakes his head. "Nope." He walks past me and into the dorm room. I watch him and shake my head at myself. For some reason I can't bring myself to hate him anymore. I've realized that no matter what--our paths are going to cross. I might as well get used to it. Not to mention like it. And, believe me, I do.
So much for getting over him, huh?
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Aero-Grrl: When I sat down to write this, I figured I'd just write and see how it came out. Then all of a sudden it was finished, and it's not half bad. Inspiration must have hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm hoping this is what I need to keep writing as well as I have been before everything happened. I can't believe I got this out so quick though. But, I've felt a lot better since all the crap happened. If you guys want an epilogue I will write one. But, I've started yet another Taito/Yamachi besides II and CP (didn't I say inspiration hit? ^^), and I'm hoping to finish the first chapter and getting it out. Look for that as well. Please review! -Ciao