I let music pound out of the speakers, hoping it would drown out
everything. My mom, my sister, my dad, my thoughts..... I want it all to
drown in the crashing wave of music.
I scribbled furiously in my notebook. I felt like a person in exile, a mere survivor from some huge battle banned from the earth itself.
Day 33 of new journal
30 more days of hell
I had a huge fight with.... everyone today. I pushed, shoved ,and kneed my way to class. It was very hard considering that this school is tiny. This town is tiny. This whole country is tiny! I want to go home. I have no home. I've only lived here. Then I want to go someplace else. Somewhere where I'm not the big time bitch; where the words "jerk" and "weird" don't seem to float my way wherever I am.
I asked my mom once why I couldn't fit in. She said people don't understand people like me. That's another word that floats around more sympathetic people. Misunderstood. Mom says people aren't ready for honesty like mine. Yes, that's me. Blatantly honest Parker. Misunderstood Parker. Weird Parker.
I want to be normal! I can't believe I just said that. Parker McKenzie is not normal. She never WANTS to be normal. She is branded "weird" and it will never be any different.
Parker McKenzie, the girl who eats sushi in her lap; Parker McKenzie, the girl who only writes on recycled paper; Parker McKenzie, who turns down guys that aren't tall enough. Will anyone ever let that go? No. Of course not.
I threw the journal across the room and leaned back on my bed.
Life is hell.
I scribbled furiously in my notebook. I felt like a person in exile, a mere survivor from some huge battle banned from the earth itself.
Day 33 of new journal
30 more days of hell
I had a huge fight with.... everyone today. I pushed, shoved ,and kneed my way to class. It was very hard considering that this school is tiny. This town is tiny. This whole country is tiny! I want to go home. I have no home. I've only lived here. Then I want to go someplace else. Somewhere where I'm not the big time bitch; where the words "jerk" and "weird" don't seem to float my way wherever I am.
I asked my mom once why I couldn't fit in. She said people don't understand people like me. That's another word that floats around more sympathetic people. Misunderstood. Mom says people aren't ready for honesty like mine. Yes, that's me. Blatantly honest Parker. Misunderstood Parker. Weird Parker.
I want to be normal! I can't believe I just said that. Parker McKenzie is not normal. She never WANTS to be normal. She is branded "weird" and it will never be any different.
Parker McKenzie, the girl who eats sushi in her lap; Parker McKenzie, the girl who only writes on recycled paper; Parker McKenzie, who turns down guys that aren't tall enough. Will anyone ever let that go? No. Of course not.
I threw the journal across the room and leaned back on my bed.
Life is hell.