Summary: What if you have a chance to go back to your past and change your life? What if you can live your life differently, make new choices? Will it make a difference? Or will making a different choice still take you down the same route? What if your decision changes the rest of your life and everything is different from what it is supposed to be? What would happen if you make the wrong choice?
Tomoyo was getting worried about Syaoran. Ever since they came back from Sakura's apartment the day of Sakura's funeral, he's changed so much. He's become so reserved and he was brooding. He seemed to have lots of things on his mind and when Tomoyo asked about it, he becomes impatient with her. Tomoyo didn't know what was wrong with the Syaoran she loves and she didn't know why he wouldn't confide his problems in her. They used to tell each other everything, but ever since Sakura died, everything's changed between them. Their relationship was suffering from Syaoran's unwillingness to communicate.
Tomoyo stared across the length of the table at the man she loved. Syaoran was listlessly strumming the guitar, staring absorbedly at the wall in front of him as if it held the answer to the world's greatest secret. His hair was unkempt and he looked like he hadn't shaved for quite some time. Tomoyo's heart constricted to see him like this, especially since she didn't know what triggered this.
She stared at Syaoran for a few moments more, until she couldn't bear looking at his blank expression, then she quietly ran into his bedroom to compose herself. Tomoyo leaned against Syaoran's wardrobe and choked back tears of frustrations. She wanted to help him, to understand him, why wouldn't he let her? She gulped in deep breaths and closed her eyes, leaning her head against the hard wood. All the time she'd known Syaoran, he was a very easy-going person with no secret agenda. He was the complete opposite of Eriol who was intense and mysterious.
Syaoran was day to Eriol's night, sun to Eriol's moon. Syaoran was a steady sort of person, someone you could count on, while Eriol was more volatile. Eriol was so passionate and it was that passion that attracted Tomoyo at first, and later, it was the same passion that drove her away. Tomoyo shook her head and pushed away from the wardrobe.
What was wrong with her? Her fiancé was in the dumps and she was considering the differences between him and her ex-boyfriend? How irrelevant could she get? Squaring her shoulders, Tomoyo strolled around Syaoran's room, trying to come up with something that would get Syaoran to open up to her.
She walked past Syaoran's unmade bed and was making a U-turn when she kicked into a solid object. Tomoyo stopped in mid-pace and stared down at the foreign object. It was a small, leather-bound book.
Bending down, Tomoyo gingerly picked it up.
Sakura was still wearing a silly smile the next day in class. Throughout the entire day, she was on cloud nine, oblivious to every, and anyone. She didn't see the curious stares aimed her way when she floated through the hallway absorbed in her daydreams of Syaoran.
Junlai took note of the noted change in her best friend and duly commented on it. "Did aliens come into your bedroom last night and stole your brain? Does that explain that foolish grin everyone in school has been looking at since this morning?"
Sakura cranked up the wattage of her smile and directed it at Junlai, "I can't help smiling, I'm just so happy!"
Junlai couldn't help being infected by Sakura's humor and she smiled back, "Oh really? Just yesterday you were traumatized and today, all of a sudden, you're in high spirits. This is very suspicious. Come on, spill, what exactly happened last night?"
"Syaoran," Sakura said, as if that one word, one name explained everything. Junlai hiked a finely plucked brow at Sakura. "And I'm suppose to deduce an entire story from that? He's marrying Tomoyo like you predicted?" She asked dubiously.
Sakura ignored Junlai, "We went out last night with Tomoyo and Eriol. It was perfect; everything was like a dream. Everything is going the way it should be going."
Junlai frowned, "You mean you actually went for it? But I thought that you said wild horses couldn't drag you anywhere near him. You were determined to hate that guy, what happened?" Junlai mimicked knocking on Sakura's head with her knuckles, "Hello, anyone up there?"
Sakura pushed Junlai's hand away, "Well, maybe I was a tiny bit hasty in my decision to hate him. Anyways, he turned out to be a very decent person and I like talking to him," Sakura paused and gave Junlai a wicked smile, "and it helped that he was easy on the eyes."
Junlai burst into laughter, "So that is why you suddenly decided to like him!"
The two girls were laughing together happily when Hufei walked hesitantly up to them. Junlai noticed him first; she immediately stopped laughing and started turning an obvious shade of red. It took Sakura a while to realized that her friend was no longer joining her in her mirth and she looked curiously around to see what caused her sudden silence. Her gaze caught on Hufei who was standing silently near them. He was looking at Junlai, but Junlai found sudden interest on the design of the cement floor.
Sakura swallowed a smile, "So," she thought, "yesterday's events made them realized their feelings for each other sooner than otherwise." Out loud, Sakura only said, "I got to go now, Junlai, Syaoran said he'll call me later. See you tomorrow," she turned to Hufei and gave him an exaggerated wink that made him loosen up and smiled, "Have fun you two!"
That said, Sakura left them alone, feeling very pleased with the way things were in general. Syaoran was falling in love with her, and Hufei and Junlai had found each other now, instead of five years later, when Hufei was a divorcee and Junlai was thoroughly disillusioned with the general idea of love. They wouldn't have to go through the heartache they went through in the other time. "Everything was perfect," Sakura thought, "what could go wrong?"
"Eriol," Syaoran asked suddenly, during a break from filming. "How do you know when you're in love?"
Eriol looked up startled from the script he was studying intently and stared at a serious-faced Syaoran. "What did you just say?" He asked incredulously.
Syaoran scooted forward in his chair and leaned nearer Eriol, "I mean, how did you know you loved Tomoyo? What is it that you feel with her than tells you she's the one for you?"
Eriol looked into Syaoran's glowing brown eyes and found them dead serious and staring back at him expectantly. Unexpectedly, Eriol found himself speechless. He was no expert on love, how was he going to tell Syaoran what he wanted to know? Trying as best as he could, Eriol stumbled over his words, "Well, I feel hot all over, and I'm nervous and at the same time so comfortable around her. I looked at her and feel amazed that she actually wants to be with me," as Eriol spoke, his voice became stronger and he sounded more and more confident.
"Seeing her happy makes me happy, hearing her laughter makes me happy. When you love someone, it's really weird because you start to notice the little things you never bothered to notice before. Like how when she's worried, she'll chew on her lower lip, the way she likes to play with her hair, the way she looks deep into your eyes…" Eriol snapped out of his reverie and smiled sheepishly at Syaoran who was giving Eriol a secret smile. "You get the idea," he said weakly, embarrassed.
Syaoran nodded. "Sakura's so like Tomoyo, I mean, they're both so beautiful and gentle. When they both smile, it's like, their smiles lit up the entire room. Sakura is so contradictory, one minute she's all bashful like a schoolgirl, the next minute she's almost making love to with her eyes. I just can't pin her down," he mused.
Eriol didn't say it, but as he looked at his friend, he realized that Syaoran was intrigued by the mystery of Sakura. Syaoran might mistake that attraction for love, but Eriol didn't make that mistake. For now, Syaoran was seduced by Sakura's dual personalities, her beauty and her grace. Attraction wasn't love. Syaoran wasn't in love, no matter what he thinks.
Eriol watched Syaoran's as he continued smiling the goofy smile he couldn't quite hide and worried about both him and Sakura. He was worried that Syaoran's ignorance might hurt Sakura. He was worried that Sakura was in love with Syaoran. Really in love. Eriol had seen the looks Sakura gave Syaoran when she thought no one was looking and those stares burned Eriol up with its intensity and wistfulness. He didn't know how it happened, but Sakura had apparently fallen hard for Syaoran the moment she clapped eyes on him. It was like she had known Syaoran for years; she knew him that well.
During dinner, she'd known Syaoran's favorite food, his favorite music, his favorite movie… she had known everything there was to know about Syaoran and yet, Tomoyo had told him that this was the first time that Sakura had ever seen Syaoran, so it was amazing that she knew all these stuff about Syaoran. True, throughout dinner, whenever she let it slip what she knew of Syaoran, she tried to cover her tracks, rather unsuccessfully, and everyone noticed her slip and wondered about it. Everyone, except for Syaoran who was too busy drowning in her eyes to really listen to the conversation around him.
Eriol was really worried. He hoped that Syaoran knew what he was doing. He hope to God he did.
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Author's Note: Long chapter, yes because I got a couple of reviews that make me happy. Hehe, well keep on commenting, okay?