A/N: Here's chappy four, thanks for all the great reviews! Have a good weekend!

Chapter Four-Healing

          Severus moaned as he slowly opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of where he was, suddenly he remembered last night. Looking around he saw that it was still dark but the sun was showing signs of rising, the ice cream was no longer on the coffee table, and Harry was in his arms, wrapped in a blanket. His face covered in tearstains, but relatively calmer. He was sleeping peacefully in his father's arms, his fist balled as he gripped his father's shirt. He remembered everything about last night, and silently hoped the boy wouldn't wake up embarrassed. Sighing, he tried to move his now stiff and cramped legs.


"Dad?" A small voice spoke, Severus looked into Harry's green eyes, Lily's green eyes.

 "Hi Wolfie, how ya holding up?" He asked.


"Thank you," came his sons whisper.

 "For what?"

 "Holding me, I've never really been held before, not in a loving way," he said.

 "I know Harry, and I promise to do my best to always be there for you from now on. I love you."

 "I love you too dad," he whispered. Severus kissed his forehead and took a deep breath.

"You know what your mother said when she first looked at you, it was amazing, I'll never really forget. It was a moment of slight panic on my part. Here I was holding this little girl in my arms, while your mother gave birth to yet another child. She was the calmest woman I had ever seen. You were calmly handed to her, and she looked down at you and simply smiled. Then with a soft silky voice she whispered 'my little Harry so much like your father, but always what I've imagined.' I didn't know what to think, I was still completely stuck on how cute your sister was. Then I was asked if I wanted to hold my son. That phrase, it broke my heart," he chuckled slightly at the memory, he could see Harry deeply interested.

"I was so terrified, afraid I would do to you what my father had done to me. You were placed in my arms, your sister now in Lily's arms. There I stood, my world standing still as your eyes gazed into mine, and all I could think of was what had I done to deserve you. You were little, very little, but the doctors said it was because you were the second child and you would just grow up a little smaller at times. I could barely remember the promise your mother had made, I was so intent on keeping you forever. I knew the time would come when I would be forced to say goodbye. I lifted you closer so you could hear me, and simply whispered something, your mother didn't know what I said. No one did. I don't even think you knew."

"What did you say?"

"A child is born in one moment but will forever remain his father's son. I knew in an instant that we would have problems, but at the same time I also knew you would always be my child.

"How long were we able to remain with you?"


"It was a matter of hours. As soon as your mother could be taken. I spent your first evening sleeping with you two in my arms. I think your mother knew it was my piece of closure."

"Did it help?"

"No, not truly, because I knew I was losing you two. My babies."

"Did your father beat you?" Harry asked. Severus nodded slowly.

He never once hit my sister though. I felt bad for her, she spent eight years of her life watching her only and favorite brother get beaten."

 "Eight years?"

 "My sister died the day before her ninth birthday of cancer. There's no cure for it, not in the magic world, and at the time very little was known about it in the muggle world."

 "I'm sorry." Severus smiled.

 "I'm not, my sister spent four years in pain, emotional from watching dad hurt me, and physical from her ailment. I was relieved to know dad would never hurt her the way he had hurt me."

"They died didn't they?"

 "My father died seven years ago, and left me this place, my mother died two years back, I wasn't very sad to see her go. The last words she ever said to me were that she wished that I had been a better son, a better servant."

 "That's not love."


 "No Harry it isn't, but I'm past it by now. I didn't love my mother or father by the time I hit eighteen, because by then I understood all to well what was going on. I knew and your mother was my only release from all that pain. Leanne and Lily always knew how to make me stop feeling the hurt. Dumbledore did as well."

 "I wish I had the chance to go back and have a real childhood," Harry whispered.

 "As do I my boy, however there is one good thing about this new baby."

"What?" Harry asked quietly.

"We can have his or her childhood as well. Now, how about a ride?"

"On the horse?"

"Sure, you've got one of your own out there too."

"I've never ridden a horse."

 "Then I will teach you, if you're up to it."

"Yeah, I need to get out and do something". Severus smiled as he could see the sun slowly rising. Within seconds they were standing in the barn fully dressed. Severus led his handsome son into the barn and pointed towards a beautiful black horse.

 "This is your horse, it's a boy, are welcome to name him whatever you like. The brown and white one next to yours is Freckles, that's Emily's. Mine is right there," He said pointing to a pure brown horse.

"His name is sport, Leanne's is right over there," he said
pointing to the one next to his which was an off buckskin color.


"His name is olive. And the white one is going to be your new baby brothers or sisters."

 "They're beautiful," Harry said. Severus smiled. Reaching over he gently led the horse out of the stall.


"Brandon. I don't really know why he just looks like a Brandon " Harry said petting the horse's nose.

"That's a fine name. Brandon, this is Harry, Harry Brandon. Up you go Harry," he
said helping his son onto the horse. Harry didn't know at first what to think but he seemed to get comfortable quickly. Severus smiled and patted the horse's side.

"I'm going to mount and we'll go from here." Harry nodded and watched his father mount the horse with ease and comfort.

Soon the two were riding along the open fields as though they had been doing it for ages. As the wind was blowing through their hair and the sun was slowly rising over their heads, Severus pulled his horse to a stop and pointed to the large sun as it let off beautiful colors against the horizon.


"Your mother and I used to do this every morning."

"It's so amazing. Dad, I wish every day could be like this." Severus smiled and looked at the boy.

Not every day will be such as this, but I will do my best to make sure the last three years of your childhood are happy and pleasant."