Summary: What if you have a chance to go back to your past and change your life? What if you can live your life differently, make new choices? Will it make a difference? Or will making a different choice still take you down the same route? What if your decision changes the rest of your life and everything is different from what it is supposed to be? What would happen if you make the wrong choice?
"Eriol?" Tomoyo's voice was unstable, and barely audible. But Eriol heard her and the threadiness of her voice made him sit up and took notice.
"Tomoyo? What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong," he demanded urgently.
"Sakura," Tomoyo's voice cracked and she had to stop. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "It's Sakura. She's gone."
"What do you mean she's gone? She can't be gone, it's impossible!"
"But it is. She's gone, her suitcase is gone, her clothes, personal stuff are all gone. Even her passport's missing. All she's left behind are 3 letters – 1 for Syaoran, 1 for you and 1 for me."
Eriol felt as if he'd just been shot. Sakura's gone. She's just... gone? But how could that be? Syaoran was on his way to clear the air with her. Everything should be just dandy now. Syaoran and her should be smiling and laughing at their silliness and insecurities. Why was this happening? Why was fate playing this cruel game with them?
"Listen to me Tomoyo, you just sit tight. Don't call the police; don't do anything. I'll be right over, alright?"
Tomoyo nodded, then realized that Eriol couldn't see her nodding over the phone and said, 'Yes," mechanically. Then, she placed the phone into its cradle and stared into space. She didn't realize that the doorbell was no longer ringing.
A minute ticked by with Tomoyo just staring at the blank wall in shock. Then, a loud rapping at the window made Tomoyo nearly jumped out of her skin.
Tomoyo twirled towards the window, hoping against hope that it was her cousin, back after she realized the childishness of her actions. But her tiny hope was crushed when she saw it was Syaoran. Syaoran was pointing towards the front door and Tomoyo nodded, knowing that he wanted to be let in.
Tomoyo wondered briefly if Eriol had called Syaoran and told him what happened. But surely he couldn't be here so fast. Syaoran disappeared from the window when Tomoyo turned and trudged towards the front door. When she opened the door, Syaoran nearly barreled her down in his haste to get in.
Syaoran didn't bother with the niceties. He rushed past Tomoyo and up the stairs, heading straight for Sakura's room. He slammed into her room and it took all of a split second before it registered Sakura wasn't anywhere in there. He didn't bother searching for her, but instead went back downstairs.
He found Tomoyo in the kitchen, staring out the huge windows that stretched from ceiling to floor.
"Where is she?" Syaoran realized his voice was hard and harsh with anxiety and forced himself to calm down. "Where is she?" he repeated his question, his voice gentled.
Tomoyo didn't even spare him a glance. She continued looking out the window and it was a moment before she lifted her hand and pointed to the 3 letters sitting on the polished tabletop.
Syaoran pounced on the table and easily picked out the letter bearing his name. He was ripping into the letter and reading the letter without a second to waste.
Syaoran,
I really don't know what to say. This letter is my first and last, to you. After this, you'll never hear from me again. I'll never contact or see you again. I'm leaving Syaoran. I really don't want to, but I have to. For the sake of the four of us, it's better if I leave. Trust me on that. I'm not supposed to be here. I don't belong here, at this time. I don't know why I'm brought back, maybe to finally see that we are not meant for each other. I don't know, I don't think I'll ever understand why I'm brought back here. You probably think I'm crazy now, blabbering on and on about rubbish. I know you don't understand what I'm talking about, and neither do I. I know what happened to me, and if I told you what happened, you wouldn't believe me. So I'm not bothering.
I'm not coming back ever, Syaoran, and don't bother coming after me, because you'll never find me. You can't track down a person who doesn't want to be found. It's impossible.
Forget the girl you fell for because, she does not exist. She was just an illusion; she is not me. The Sakura you knew and the Sakura I really am are two completely different people. I'm sorry but I've been lying to you all this while, and I'm not sorry for it. Because you've made me the happiest girl alive these past weeks – everything that I've given up for you, put up with for you, done for you was worth it. I have never and will never regret knowing you or loving you, Syaoran.
Saying sorry is inadequate, but other than that, I don't know what else to say. No goodbyes, Syaoran, I know you hate saying goodbyes.
I love you,
Sakura .
The last three words were blurred, like water had fallen on it and smudged it. "Tears," Syaoran thought, "Sakura's tears." This would be his last memory of her, the first woman he'd let down his guard enough to come to care for. How did this happen? He was coming here, looking forward to a happy reunion with her and yet, all he found was this letter, a miserable substitute for her.
Sakura had given him the three words he'd wanted to hear and say in return to her, but he couldn't fully savored it because she wasn't there to hear his reply.
Syaoran didn't give about who she really was. He knew she was a complex character and he knew he would never fully understand her. Sakura was mysterious, enigmatic. She only let you know as much as she wants you to know, no more, no less. Sakura was flamboyant, she was playful, and she was serious. She was a camper, a survivor. Syaoran had no doubts that she'll survive and thrive anywhere she decided to settle down. Syaoran also knew that even though she religiously wore makeup when she went out with him, she hated that stuff on her face even though she would just grin and bear with it. He knew that underneath those glam clothes, she was very simple. She wanted him happy and if he was happy, she was too. Another important thing he knew now was she loved him. What else did he have to know?
She might be mistaken that he did not know the real, her, but Syaoran knew that there was no way he was so dumb that he fell for some Barbie doll without realizing that she was only a cover-up for some plain Jane hiding beneath the makeup. Syaoran loved Sakura because she was so alive, because her personality shone through her initial beauty. Syaoran had never denied that it was her beauty that enslaved him, but what kept him to Sakura was her intellect and witty quips. Why could he realize all that, and she none? How could someone be so smart yet so dumb at the same time?
Syaoran slowly, gently put the letter down on the table. Stonily, he walked towards the front door, out the house and into his car.
He didn't care how much money he spent, or how much time it took. He was going to find her, shake her senseless, and then never let her out of his sight ever again.
The girl was a menace to herself. Syaoran was going to protect her from everything, including from herself, when he found her. Yes, when, not if, because he will find her.
The next two days, were a blur of activity. Syaoran contacted Private Investigators, called the airports to ask if anyone knew where Sakura was heading. He had several descriptions that fitted Sakura and three of them were heading for US, one for Singapore, two for Japan and one for England. He had the investigators on those women, while he called up his manager and manipulated him and the company into giving him a leave. He tripped all their guilt switches and made them offered to let him off for a month.
Eriol was busy comforting his girlfriend and Sakura's astounded aunt and uncle. In between that, he was trying to convince them that Syaoran wasn't responsible for her disappearance, but it was difficult, since that was precisely what happened.
On the morning of the third day, Eriol and Syaoran were at the airport.
"You sure you want to do this?" Eriol asked his friend.
Syaoran looked away from Eriol, out the window. "What would you have done if our positions were reversed?"
Eriol nodded slowly, "Point taken."
"I've never been surer about anything else in my life, Eriol. If I don't go after her now, I'll hate myself for the rest of my life. She was the best thing that happened to me, I can't let her go like that without a fight."
Eriol smiled. "Go then, I'll take care of Tomoyo's and her family."
"Thank you, for everything you've done for Sakura and me, I really appreciate it." Syaoran leaned forwards and hugged Eriol -- to Eriol's immense surprise. However, after his initial astonishment, he returned Syaoran's hug.
"Good luck, Syaoran."
Syaoran pulled back and bent down to pick up his duffel bag. "When I see you again, you can be sure Sakura will be with me."
Eriol watched his friend disappeared into the sea of people and he sighed. He really hoped that what Syaoran said would come true. He prayed with all his heart that Syaoran would find Sakura.
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Author's Note: It took awhile, but I'm done. With school in the way, I'm surprised I was able to write this chapter. Anyways, I know this chapter was a little anti-climatic, but please bear with me and review-review-review!