Have you ever launched into an innocent band camp story (well, as innocent
as a band camp story gets), only to have you listener chuckle moronically
and say, "And this one time at band camp..."? I have, and it ranks high on
my list of things that really piss me off. Okay, look people: it not
funny, nor is it original. It's just freaking dumb. And you sound like a
total moron when you say it. The purpose of this essay? To inform the
world why people who say "And this one time at band camp..." deserve to be
shot, beaten with sticks until they can no longer stand, stabbed, be set
ablaze, or otherwise seriously maimed.
It's not original. I can guarantee that if you've said that particular phrase to a band student, he or she has heard it at least five hundred times before. So the most patient and nice band student will probably just yawn in your face if you say that to them. The regular ones will more than likely punch you. Failing that, they will say, *very* sarcastically, "Ha ha ha! NO WAY do I hear that ALL THE FREAKEN TIME! You're *so* original!" So, unless you want to sound like a douche bag and possibly walk away with a black eye, I suggest shutting your gob.
It's not funny. I know every high school and middle school student thinks that they're funny, but trust me, most of them aren't. They're just dumb. And even those who are truly funny aren't if they say the same thing as everyone else, and they say it at least twenty times. And here's a little newsflash for those out there who are incredibly dense: there are very few Band students who think it's funny. As a matter of fact, I have only known only *one* band student out of hundreds who willingly said it. I'll discuss her now.
We'll call her... Jessica. Jessica used to say the accursed phrase constantly. And when I say constantly, I do mean *constantly*. She said it at band camp, afterwards, before it, at practice, online, in class. In short, everywhere. I kept telling her, "Jessica, that is extremely annoying. Please stop." Which is very nice for me, because if it were anyone else, I would've punched them by now. But she wouldn't stop. And then I said, "Look, you can't stick your flute up there if you are afraid of tampons." Jessica was a flute player, and she was afraid of tampons. Hence why her phrase made no sense whatsoever. What happened to Jessica, you ask? Let's just say she... "Moved away".
In conclusion, if I catch you saying that phrase to my face, it will be my sad, sad duty to beat you senseless. But then again, if you are dumb enough to say that to me, you won't have very far to go.
Ending notes: I actually am a flute player, and I do find that one of the most obnoxious phrases in the world. I loved American Pie, but that one phrase still pisses me off. Just a little essay I wrote one day in History when I should've been paying attention. Thanks for reading my essay *cough*rant*cough* and reviewing. - F.F.
It's not original. I can guarantee that if you've said that particular phrase to a band student, he or she has heard it at least five hundred times before. So the most patient and nice band student will probably just yawn in your face if you say that to them. The regular ones will more than likely punch you. Failing that, they will say, *very* sarcastically, "Ha ha ha! NO WAY do I hear that ALL THE FREAKEN TIME! You're *so* original!" So, unless you want to sound like a douche bag and possibly walk away with a black eye, I suggest shutting your gob.
It's not funny. I know every high school and middle school student thinks that they're funny, but trust me, most of them aren't. They're just dumb. And even those who are truly funny aren't if they say the same thing as everyone else, and they say it at least twenty times. And here's a little newsflash for those out there who are incredibly dense: there are very few Band students who think it's funny. As a matter of fact, I have only known only *one* band student out of hundreds who willingly said it. I'll discuss her now.
We'll call her... Jessica. Jessica used to say the accursed phrase constantly. And when I say constantly, I do mean *constantly*. She said it at band camp, afterwards, before it, at practice, online, in class. In short, everywhere. I kept telling her, "Jessica, that is extremely annoying. Please stop." Which is very nice for me, because if it were anyone else, I would've punched them by now. But she wouldn't stop. And then I said, "Look, you can't stick your flute up there if you are afraid of tampons." Jessica was a flute player, and she was afraid of tampons. Hence why her phrase made no sense whatsoever. What happened to Jessica, you ask? Let's just say she... "Moved away".
In conclusion, if I catch you saying that phrase to my face, it will be my sad, sad duty to beat you senseless. But then again, if you are dumb enough to say that to me, you won't have very far to go.
Ending notes: I actually am a flute player, and I do find that one of the most obnoxious phrases in the world. I loved American Pie, but that one phrase still pisses me off. Just a little essay I wrote one day in History when I should've been paying attention. Thanks for reading my essay *cough*rant*cough* and reviewing. - F.F.