Chapter Two

By Imp

Author's Note: Wow, you guys liked it. Here is chapter two. Ah, one of you reviewers (I can't remember who) thought that HP was pretending to make a complete jack-ass of himself and that he would suddenly be immensely smart soon – not how it's gonna go. ^_^

(*Last thing that happened: Voldemort is about to try and get absolute proof that HP is wrong about claustrophobic meaning catastrophic. *)

Lord Voldemort waved his wand and murmured, "Accio, Gershwinner's Complete English Dictionary of – " he stopped as a large book had just flown into view, but before either Harry or Voldie could do anything the book zoomed up and hit poor Voldie in the back of the head.

Harry snorted into his hand, hoping to cover up the obvious fact that he was laughing.

Voldemort rubbed his head ruefully and bent to pick up the dictionary that was lying open on the ground at his feet. "Heeheehee… The Dark Lord can't even do a simple summoning spell without…ack!" Voldie tossed the heavy book into Harry's stomach, knocking the wind out of him.

"Find the word 'catastrophic'." Voldemort said grimly, trying to rub the back of his without Harry noticing. "And do stop taunting me – immensely bad idea on your part."

Harry flipped through the thick book, grumbling to himself; he finally found something made him begin to laugh hysterically.

"Now what?" Voldemort said, the tone of his voice making it clear that he couldn't care less about what Harry had found, despite his question.

Harry, unfortunately, was completely oblivious to this fact, as he had been laughing too loudly to actually hear Voldie's question let alone decipher its tone. "Crabbe!" he gasped and then fell over atop the book laughing still harder. "Crabbe means…-" he choked on his next uncontrolled burst of laughing. "-Crabbe – sullen, morose…impossibly hard to understand!"

Harry fell over completely; rolling on top of the dictionary, laughing so hard no sound came from his mouth. "And! And! Peevish!!!" he finally managed to gasp.

Voldemort eyed Harry with an expression of distinct disinterest and annoyance.

Harryt remained absolutely ignorant of Voldie's annoyance and he continued to laugh heartily, pounding his fist into the ground, his eyes shut and tears of merriment streaming down his face.

Voldemort sneered and shook his head.

Author's Note2: That was a bit short but I hope it was interesting and funny enough for you readers.