Author's Note: Hello? Anybody still out there? I need to say a few things
here so please read this. First, the little note thing? That was half
April Fools joke, though it seems to have become more and more real as time
keeps passing. I am NOT going to give up on this fic. Three or four of
the fics I want to write depend on this one being finished or they wouldn't
make any sense. But I have been low on inspiration, and the number of
reviews has not been helping. Getting one or two reviews (or zero) per
chapter does not make me want to write more (well it does, but not as much
as it could). But that's not the problem anymore (it was, but right now
I'm dealing with it) Second, thanks go out to Brit and MaidenOfInsanity for
their reviews of chapter 10, and to starcat, Canyon, Theo, Sidhe_Ranma,
keep the dream alive, DM, and inuyasha fanatic, for their wonderful and
encouraging comments on the note. (*Theo, I'm flattered! Thanks so much!
*Sidhe_Ranma, don't worry; I'm going to keep writing. You love reading it
and I love writing it. I got this really cool idea for doing Voldemort's
past the other night. *keeps the dream alive, again, thank you. *Canyon,
your advice, compliments and encouragement is most welcome, and I hope this
is dark and twisted enough for you ^.^ What I needed to do came to me one
morning out of nowhere. *starcat.. * Hands starcat a tissue * I trust
you're over that now? Enjoy!* inuyasha fanatic, I'm glad you like it,
really glad. I'm trying, here it is, and really? ) To CJ, once again, you
are wonderful. You have kept me alive these last few weeks... thanks. ^.^
Okay, third, I HATE writing Action. Next time one of you sees me backing
myself into a situation where I'll have to write and Action scene, slap me.
They are very hard for me to write, making me very unenthusiastic about
actually doing it. Fourth, if someone could tell me how to get bold and
italics to show up on ff.net, it would be greatly appreciated because it
doesn't seem to work with my Word docs.
YAAAYYYY!!!!!! Cartoon Network is showing Rurouni Kenshin! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! It's cut!!! To an extreme degree!! AAAAAHHHHHHHRRGG!!! New Type had a RK fanfics contest and I MISSED IT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! They get to the Kyoto Arc and just STOP!!!!! Okay, I'm done ranting now.
* Hovse glares, mad that it couldn't go to Florida, that Triton didn't get anything done while she was gone, and the insane amount of Harry Potter ideas that won't stop* She doesn't own it.
Warning for this chapter: This chapter, the end especially, is. really angst. And a little mmmm. disturbing. Not for kiddies. Read with caution. If you don't want the dark little bit with lots of blood, you can stop at the asterisk (*)
Now for the hard part..
Chapter 11: Future Shadows
Adam, Harris, Crossbill and I spent twenty minutes waiting in an empty room for Cardinal. Adam kept trying to talk to somebody but he didn't have very receptive subjects. Crossbill and I were studiously ignoring each other and Harris was daydreaming about who-knows-what, twirling a pen in his hand. I think Adam may have been fighting nervousness because by the time Cardinal walked in he was pacing back and forth mumbling to himself.
"I hope you all realize that we are the only ones going on this mission." Said Cardinal as he walked to the front of the room. The only time I'd seen him more serious was when he stopped my suicide. Harris spoke up.
"What are we supposed to do?" Cardinal turned on the vid screen, displaying a large home, almost a mansion.
"This is the home of Yokos Khlinar, a politician who deals in mobil suits and illegal drug trafficking while standing against them in the public view. Phoenix decided the hypocrite needed to die. He," he pointed at me, "is going to be the assassin tonight. Crossbill will back him up and help him move around the location undetected. If, for some reason the sparrow can't fulfill his mission, Crossbill will finish it. Harris, Ibis and I will be collecting all information possible on the target's dealings from his personal files." It took me a moment to realize who he was talking about. Ibis was Adam's Raptor name of course. Cardinal continued his briefing.
"The location is 20 miles outside the city limits, well guarded, but nothing we can't handle if we stay focused. We'll use the bikes to get within half a mile of the main gates. About forty feet to the left of the main road from that checkpoint is a power box. There are alarms, lasers, motion detectors and cameras on at all times but if we time it right, we can shut off most of the outer security. Harris will be in charge of this stage, with the sparrow close by to learn the technique. We can have no mistakes." He glanced at each of us in turn to make sure we understood.
"Crossbill, as soon as Harris and the sparrow return, you'll take the sparrow to the west wall and enter the location in whatever way you find most feasible. From there you will search systematically for the target. We believe he will be staying on the third floor, fourth room from the left, but he could be anywhere and you cannot take the chance of losing him. Use anything you need to to find him without alerting the guards to us. Keep a watch on the inner security because we will not be shutting it off. That would alert the target. Is that understood?" Crossbill and I nodded silently.
"Alright then, you two are dismissed. Meet us at 21:00 hours in the P-7 lot." Crossbill nodded and led me out of the room, heading for a part of the compound I had never entered before.
"Where are we going?"
"To get equipment. You don't expect to complete this mission with just a handgun do you?"
"Well I was planning on bringing my laptop too but." He stared at me, incredulous.
"You're serious aren't you." That was a statement that didn't deserve an answer.
"How do you expect to get past the alarms with out a detector and neutralizer? Or decode the locks? Or climb the east wall without a grappling hook? Didn't you see the picture? That's a pretty smooth surface."
"I've done it before." He raised an eyebrow.
"Is that so? And when, exactly, was this?" I didn't answer. My past was my own business and no one else's. He stopped and bent over to my eye level.
"Listen kid. I don't care what you've done before. You're a Raptor now, and you'll do things our way. I'm not going to let you put a mission in jeopardy just because you feel like you don't need something. Come on." He stood and continued walking, leading me in silence down a flight of stairs and into a room like nothing I had ever seen before. My awe must have shown on my face because Crossbill grinned and gestured expressively.
"This is the technology room. From here you can access anything and everything you might possibly need on a mission. It's all here, bazookas and digital watches, laser beams and pocket handkerchiefs." He waited for me to say something, but I wasn't feeling to cooperative so I let him stand uncomfortably in the silence.
"Right then, we'll need a grappling hook, and handguns, and a decoder.." He went on and on, going so far as to assemble a belt of tools for me. Decoder, wallseeker, fingerprint-scanner, timed explosives; the list went on and on. Finally, as he tried to put a radar detector on me, I stopped him.
"How am I even supposed to move with all this on? I'll only use less than half of it anyway." He sighed, exasperated.
"Fine. I give up, but if you screw up, don't come crying to me." I started replacing the gadgets I knew I would never use.
"Don't worry."
** * * **
Two hours later I stood with a very flustered Crossbill (wearing, I noticed wryly, less than half the gadgets he had tried to force on me) in the P-7 lot, waiting for Cardinal, Harris and Adam. I suppose I should call him Ibis. Cardinal, Harris and Ibis. They turned up a few moments later with a little more equipment than Crossbill, but then, they were dealing with more technology than I was.
Cardinal looked me over, judging the things I had chosen.
"Are you sure that's all you want?" He asked. Crossbill made a disgusted noise.
"He wouldn't take anything else. Laptop, handgun, tiny climbers and a couple rubber bands. He wouldn't accept anything I offered."
I met Cardinal's eyes evenly. Not bothering to tell him the things Crossbill had missed; the plaskin gloves I already wore, a thin layer of technology that wouldn't get in my way or let me leave anything for the officials to find, the contacts that allowed me infrared vision at will, the short knives hidden in my boots and the small of my back, and that didn't even cover the things I could do with my laptop alone. Cardinal looked away first, choosing instead to study Crossbill for a moment.
"Don't underestimate him." Was all he said before turning towards our transportation, which turned out to be a motorcycle apiece. Damn. How was I supposed to ride that? Sure I knew how to do it intellectually, but I was too small to actually reach everything and it would take me a few minutes to figure everything out. I hesitated as the others prepared to leave, their movements easy with familiarity. Crossbill noticed and turned to Cardinal, grinning mockingly.
"Your sparrow can't ride with us Cardinal." Cardinal glared at him, as if daring him to push him further.
"He's nine years old Crossbill, I didn't expect him to be able to drive it. He knows the mechanics but it isn't possible for him to have had any practical experience, not to mention we'd have to customize a bike for him in the first place. He'll ride with you." Crossbill stared, incredulous for a moment before turning to me, plastering a sneer over his face.
"I hope you can hold on kid, 'cause I'm not stopping if you fall off." He turned back to his bike, barely allowing me the chance to climb up behind him before he raced out of the garage, grounding to a halt once outside and effectively jostling me. This was not going to be a fun ride. Cardinal didn't say anything when he and the others joined us, but his shoulders were stiff with disapproval. That cooled Crossbill's mood a little and he wasn't quite as reckless for the rest of the ride. It seemed even he was reluctant to displease Cardinal.
**
(A/n - * listening to RK soundtrack * Ross, if you ever read this, Thank you, thank you thank you, I love it!) ^.~
**
We arrived outside the location two hours later, and I had somehow managed to hang on the whole time. Crossbill seemed a little disappointed as I climbed off the back and started stretching, my muscles stiff from the ordeal. Cardinal nodded to Harris and me.
"You two go on ahead, we'll take care of the bikes." Harris gestured for me to follow and we set off into the darkness, searching for the power box. After about ten minutes I saw it and stopped, surprised. Harris grinned at me, his teeth flashing startlingly against his dark skin in the weak light.
"Bit more than you were expecting kid?" I could only nod. The security around the box was more than I'd seen in one place before, not that I could really see all of it. The fact that I saw so little was the most alarming thing because it meant that these people were rich enough to be able to afford the top equipment and smart enough to realize that the less seen, the more intimidating it was. I couldn't find anything but vague clues as to what was really guarding the place. Harris didn't seem worried. He started walking in a five-foot radius around the box, pausing every step or so to spray some dust in the general direction of his circle's center. As he completed his circuit I was able to see what he had done.
He had revealed the security for what it was, shut the cloaking abilities off. And what he revealed was far more than I'd thought could be used around a power box. My face must have revealed some of this because Harris laughed softly.
"Don't look so intimidated; it's not that bad. Most of this isn't even functioning; it's just there to give you second thoughts. Khlinar's a smart bastard." He stepped forward, using a decoder to bypass most of the systems and walking straight up to the box itself. Then he turned back to me.
"You coming or not?" I blinked, his voice shocking me out of a mental analysis of everything he had done. Odin had never worked like this; he didn't have to.
I walked forward; careful to follow his exact path, just in case there was something I tripped on accidently. When I came level with Harris I swallowed, hard. The machine in front of me was insanely complicated. For me to work on it I needed a keyboard, but I could not find one. Just a lot of levers and nondescript buttons with nothing to distinguish what any of it did. Harris seemed to find my discomfort increasingly amusing.
"Just watch carefully, and remember. You'll be better at this than I am soon, no doubt about that." Sometimes this utter confidence in my abilities backfired on me. It was nice to know someone actually thought I was worth that much, but at the same time it gave me responsibilities I really didn't want. What if I failed? Suddenly I was wishing I could just go back to the base and curl up in bed. What would happen if I failed? It was like a bucket of ice-cold water over my head. I started trembling, unable to control my nerves even as my mind recorded every detail of Harris' movements, etching them in to my brain on automatic as I tried to deal with this new problem. If I failed.. Cardinal would be disappointed. Harris would pat me on the back trying to comfort but only succeeding in making it worse, Ibis would try to distract me with competitions he knew I would win, Crossbill would yell at me and Cooper would shake his head. And Cardinal would just look at me; disappointment in every line of his body as he assured me that there would be other missions. Empty words. If he couldn't trust me from the start he never would. I started shaking violently, trying desperately to get a hold of myself, to pull down the mask and let it be useful for once. Harris turned to give me a code to type in and noticed how my hands were shaking. Understanding flooded his eyes and he took my hands in his own, massaging the back of my wrists.
"It's okay Hitokiri, it'll be fine. Just don't think about it. You just do what you have to do and don't worry about whether you get it right or not. There're enough of us to make up for any mistake one of us makes. Just don't give up, especially when you haven't even started." I stared up at him, begging for reassurance but knowing that it wouldn't really help.
"Do you know what Cooper taught me on my first mission? We were trying to get these blueprints for a base but the security was better than we thought and we got caught. Before we left, Cooper destroyed everything and made it impossible for anyone else to get those blueprints ever again." He grinned again. "That's what he taught me; if you can't do it yourself, make sure no one else can. It's gotten me through a lot. So if you're going to mess something up kid, make sure you do a first rate job of it because otherwise you're just wasting time." He was rambling now. The information was somewhat useful, but it really had nothing to do with why I was so nervous. Not really. But his voice was soothing, and gradually the icy cold dissipated, and my hands stopped shaking.
I pulled away and typed in the code, taking satisfaction from the fact that now I wouldn't be bothered about cameras and trip lasers while I tried to get inside the grounds. Harris and I started back towards the others in silence. Just before we came into earshot I stopped, and he looked back at me curiously. I couldn't look him in the eye so I studied my feet as I spoke, barely whispering.
"Thanks." He just nodded and we continued walking. Cardinal stood as we approached, startling Ibis and Crossbill into lurching to their feet hurriedly. He ignored them, choosing to study Harris and me instead.
"Everything went well?" Harris nodded.
"Well then, Crossbill, you take him to the west wall, we'll be entering by another direction to make things harder on them." Crossbill started walking in the general direction of the mansion, obviously not caring whether I followed or not. I trotted after him, silently seething. Even if I was terrified to fail a few moments before, that didn't mean I couldn't resent his treating me as an incompetent.
We neared the wall and I paused to study it, trying to determine the best path into the grounds. Crossbill turned to me a mocking smile on his lips.
"We need to get over the wall. If you would have brought the grappling hook and rope like I told you to it'd be a lot easier." I chose to ignore his whining and stepped closer to the wall, attaching the climbers to my hands. He saw them and sneered.
"Those won't do anything here kid, that wall is smooth as ice." I wanted to comment that a grappling hook wouldn't be much use in that case but managed to hold the mask down.
Without waiting for further abuse from my 'partner' I reached up as I could and jammed the climbers into the thick plaster covering the walls. I pulled myself up that wall by my arms alone, making a mental note to never irritate Harris again in my life as months of training paid off. When I reached the top I crouched on the rim, staring down at Crossbill, a slight smile on my lips. He looked as if he couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or impressed. Before he could decide that I needed to be bawled at I unwound the thin black cord from around my waist and tossed one end down to him. As soon as he had a good hold on it I jumped to the ground inside the wall to wait for him to finish his climb. When he joined me, panting slightly, all he could manage was a glare before muttering, "Come on" and heading towards the mansion itself.
It was huge, and I had no idea how we were going to even find Khliner, let alone avoid security. Crossbill seemed to know exactly where he was going however. I stopped him with a hand on his elbow.
"What?" he hissed at me.
"Where are you going?" I whispered back.
"Third floor, fourth on the right dummy! Where else?"
"But he could be anywhere."
"We don't have time to search everywhere! We need to get this done fast!"
"But-"
"Just shut up and follow me." Well he obviously wasn't going to take my advice, but I had to try. So I followed him silently, amazed at the lack of security we came across. We climbed the stairs to avoid the elevators, reaching the third floor in twenty minutes. It was a really big place. I did not want to get lost in there to say the least. We entered the fourth room on the right cautiously, Crossbill first with me right behind him, pulling out my gun and immediately heading for the shadows of the room. I was not going to mess this up.
There was a middle aged man with immaculately groomed black hair and wearing a smart blue suit sitting at a desk near the other end of the room, his back to the door. That seemed wrong somehow. My mind informed me quite forcefully that a man as accomplished as Yokos Khliner would never sit with his back to a door. Furthermore he seemed to be doing nothing remotely productive. Crossbill didn't seem to realize this and he gestured to me urgently, miming shooting the man in the back of his head. I shook my head, convinced that this could not be the target. Crossbill got angry and started to pull out his own gun. I rushed towards him; trying to stall him, prevent him from shooting. I didn't make it, and a single shot rang out in the stillness of the room. The man who could not be Yokos Khliner jerked in shock before slumping to fall across the desk, most definitely dead. I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at him, the second person I had seen die, the first I had seen killed. And the worst of it was, something in me enjoyed it. I watched as blood ran through his hair and drip onto the papers strewn over the desk in fascination, unable to tear my gaze away. I could hear his death over and over again in my mind. The gunshot, a sigh escaping him as he breathed his last, the thump of his body against the desk and a sharp click. What was that click? I could feel the world start to slip away as I watched him, playing it over and over in my mind. Shot, sigh, thump, click. Then Crossbill's voice brought me back to the present.
"There, are you happy now? He's dead; we've completed the mission, no thanks to you. Let's go." I shook my head.
"What now?"
"That isn't Yokos Khliner."
"Of course it is." I couldn't believe he was so dense.
"You honestly believe that a man as accomplished as Yokos Khliner, as proficient at underhanded dealings, would ever sit with his back to a door? Don't be stupid." He gaped at me, but I could see his thoughts working behind his eyes. He was in huge trouble now. When he spoke he was subdued, almost hesitant.
"Where do you think he could be then?" I thought for a moment. Where did I think he was? Then something else clicked in my mind and I dove for the floor, pulling Crossbill with me. Seconds later an explosion rocked though the mansion and the wall behind us came flying at us in a hundred pieces. When the dust had settled enough to breathe fairly easily I stood up. Crossbill stared at me, wild-eyed.
"How did you know?" His voice was trembling, and I realized that in many ways, he was still a teenager who had never seen most of the world. Or at least, most of my world. In some ways I was already older than him.
"It was that click, after you shot him. Nothing added up right. He shouldn't have been here, shouldn't have had his back to the door, there shouldn't have been any sound after he hit the desk. They knew we were coming." Crossbill still looked puzzled.
"But how did you know it was a bomb?" I could feel my mouth twisting into a bitter smile.
"If I couldn't tell when a bomb was going to go off, I'd have died years ago."
"Oh." I shook away the memories threatening to overwhelm me.
"We need to find Khliner." Crossbill nodded and climbed to his feet. I stood and let my eyes unfocus; put my mind at full capacity. I didn't have time for guesses, and if I screwed up now.
"He's trying to make a run for it. He'll be in the outer courtyard." Crossbill gave me a funny stare but didn't argue as we ran out of the room. He didn't have any better ideas.
We found the courtyard in under five minutes. Quite a feat in that place. I could see him sneaking in the shadows, always heading for the exit to the main grounds. I ran after him, stopped a few yards away, and spoke to him.
"Yokos Khliner." He froze and turned slowly, pulling something from underneath his jacket. I leveled my gun at him, aiming straight at his heart. I didn't trust my aim enough to compensate for the height difference and aim for his head.
"Drop the weapon." I ordered him. He dropped the handgun he'd been pulling out and stared at me. Then he laughed.
"A child. You're nothing but a child."
"And you're a double dealing old man that the world is much better off without."
"At least I made someone happy boy. Whose life do you improve? You're an assassin, the lowest scum in the universe. You have no right to preach morals to me boy." I stayed silent. He was right of course. But he didn't even know half of it.
"What's wrong boy? Cat got your tongue? Why don't you just shoot me and have done with it?" He was trying to stall me. He needn't have bothered. I couldn't make myself shoot him.
"Look out!" Crossbill jerked me out of my musings on how to force myself to finish this. Khliner was rushing towards me, the knife in his hand glinting in the dim light that passed for night in the colonies. I didn't have time to think. I adjusted my aim and shot him, again and again, but he kept coming. Finally I got him between the eyes and he faltered to the ground, but not before dragging the knife in a ragged cut down the length of my arm, cutting easily through the soft leather of my uniform.
I clutched my arm to myself and sank to my knees beside my first murder. Blood was spreading around me, some mine and some his. The courtyard faded away into something entirely different.
*
I was running through endless corridors of machinery. Stray wires reached out at me, tugging on my arms, tripping up my feet. Sharp jags of metal kept digging into my skin, tearing through my clothes and shoes, leaving my legs and feet bloody and raw. Still I ran, panting, knowing that someone was trying to find me and terrified that they would. But also terrified that they would somehow miss me in the twisting hallways.
Slowly I became aware that I wasn't running on a metal sheet floor any longer, I was wading though blood. It sloshed around my ankles, slowing my progress to a walk. Soon, a few minutes, an eternity later, I came to a large room. Every wall was covered in vidscreens. They showed what I assumed to be the outside of the maze I was in. Walls of machinery were crumbling to some unknown force. My attention was drawn to the center of the room where a figure stood. He was dressed all in black, rags hanging from the body like forlorn spirits longing to get free but bound forever. Then I noticed that the blood seemed to originate at this figure, spreading out from him in ripples. He turned towards me and I took an involuntary step back. He was me. There were differences certainly, he was much older, taller and his eyes held a hungry look that was alien to my expression. But the hair, matted with dirt and blood as it was, was still my hair, the delicate bones of his face still my face, and the long slender hands were still my hands. His hands. That was where the blood was coming from. It was pooling in his palms and running through his fingers to the floor in a continuous stream. He held them out to me, grinning a full- toothed grin that was terrifying in the sheer wildness it promised.
"I'm glad you finally came. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten."
"Forgotten what?"
"Our bargain, of course. Don't you remember? Well it doesn't really matter. You're a true hitokiri now."
"No." he laughed at me.
"No? You don't think so? Too bad. Because it's true. You have killed in cold blood, and you will do it again. Many times."
"NO!" He came closer to me, until I could feel the death coming off him in waves, breaking down my barriers and drowning me in despair.
"You will. And you will enjoy it." He whispered, and gestured towards on of the vidscreens. It showed myself, fighting, killing without mercy or thought. It was as natural as breathing. I could feel the tears threatening to brim over my eyes. He laughed at me again.
"This is your destiny."
"NO!" I screamed, and the blood rose up around me, washing over me and through me, filling every part of me, drowning me. I sank into darkness.
Notes: Ahh! Please don't kill me! I know this is incredibly, impossibly late and I'm really really sorry! School and life have just been very busy with me. I kept promising myself I would get this written and I could never get it done and it was driving me absolutely insane! I know you might not want to hear this right now. but please review. Even if you are just telling me that I'm insane and I really should have gotten this up sooner, and how much you want to hurt me right now, that's okay. I still want the communication. It will give me reason to get the next chapter out sooner.
YAAAYYYY!!!!!! Cartoon Network is showing Rurouni Kenshin! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! It's cut!!! To an extreme degree!! AAAAAHHHHHHHRRGG!!! New Type had a RK fanfics contest and I MISSED IT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! They get to the Kyoto Arc and just STOP!!!!! Okay, I'm done ranting now.
* Hovse glares, mad that it couldn't go to Florida, that Triton didn't get anything done while she was gone, and the insane amount of Harry Potter ideas that won't stop* She doesn't own it.
Warning for this chapter: This chapter, the end especially, is. really angst. And a little mmmm. disturbing. Not for kiddies. Read with caution. If you don't want the dark little bit with lots of blood, you can stop at the asterisk (*)
Now for the hard part..
Chapter 11: Future Shadows
Adam, Harris, Crossbill and I spent twenty minutes waiting in an empty room for Cardinal. Adam kept trying to talk to somebody but he didn't have very receptive subjects. Crossbill and I were studiously ignoring each other and Harris was daydreaming about who-knows-what, twirling a pen in his hand. I think Adam may have been fighting nervousness because by the time Cardinal walked in he was pacing back and forth mumbling to himself.
"I hope you all realize that we are the only ones going on this mission." Said Cardinal as he walked to the front of the room. The only time I'd seen him more serious was when he stopped my suicide. Harris spoke up.
"What are we supposed to do?" Cardinal turned on the vid screen, displaying a large home, almost a mansion.
"This is the home of Yokos Khlinar, a politician who deals in mobil suits and illegal drug trafficking while standing against them in the public view. Phoenix decided the hypocrite needed to die. He," he pointed at me, "is going to be the assassin tonight. Crossbill will back him up and help him move around the location undetected. If, for some reason the sparrow can't fulfill his mission, Crossbill will finish it. Harris, Ibis and I will be collecting all information possible on the target's dealings from his personal files." It took me a moment to realize who he was talking about. Ibis was Adam's Raptor name of course. Cardinal continued his briefing.
"The location is 20 miles outside the city limits, well guarded, but nothing we can't handle if we stay focused. We'll use the bikes to get within half a mile of the main gates. About forty feet to the left of the main road from that checkpoint is a power box. There are alarms, lasers, motion detectors and cameras on at all times but if we time it right, we can shut off most of the outer security. Harris will be in charge of this stage, with the sparrow close by to learn the technique. We can have no mistakes." He glanced at each of us in turn to make sure we understood.
"Crossbill, as soon as Harris and the sparrow return, you'll take the sparrow to the west wall and enter the location in whatever way you find most feasible. From there you will search systematically for the target. We believe he will be staying on the third floor, fourth room from the left, but he could be anywhere and you cannot take the chance of losing him. Use anything you need to to find him without alerting the guards to us. Keep a watch on the inner security because we will not be shutting it off. That would alert the target. Is that understood?" Crossbill and I nodded silently.
"Alright then, you two are dismissed. Meet us at 21:00 hours in the P-7 lot." Crossbill nodded and led me out of the room, heading for a part of the compound I had never entered before.
"Where are we going?"
"To get equipment. You don't expect to complete this mission with just a handgun do you?"
"Well I was planning on bringing my laptop too but." He stared at me, incredulous.
"You're serious aren't you." That was a statement that didn't deserve an answer.
"How do you expect to get past the alarms with out a detector and neutralizer? Or decode the locks? Or climb the east wall without a grappling hook? Didn't you see the picture? That's a pretty smooth surface."
"I've done it before." He raised an eyebrow.
"Is that so? And when, exactly, was this?" I didn't answer. My past was my own business and no one else's. He stopped and bent over to my eye level.
"Listen kid. I don't care what you've done before. You're a Raptor now, and you'll do things our way. I'm not going to let you put a mission in jeopardy just because you feel like you don't need something. Come on." He stood and continued walking, leading me in silence down a flight of stairs and into a room like nothing I had ever seen before. My awe must have shown on my face because Crossbill grinned and gestured expressively.
"This is the technology room. From here you can access anything and everything you might possibly need on a mission. It's all here, bazookas and digital watches, laser beams and pocket handkerchiefs." He waited for me to say something, but I wasn't feeling to cooperative so I let him stand uncomfortably in the silence.
"Right then, we'll need a grappling hook, and handguns, and a decoder.." He went on and on, going so far as to assemble a belt of tools for me. Decoder, wallseeker, fingerprint-scanner, timed explosives; the list went on and on. Finally, as he tried to put a radar detector on me, I stopped him.
"How am I even supposed to move with all this on? I'll only use less than half of it anyway." He sighed, exasperated.
"Fine. I give up, but if you screw up, don't come crying to me." I started replacing the gadgets I knew I would never use.
"Don't worry."
** * * **
Two hours later I stood with a very flustered Crossbill (wearing, I noticed wryly, less than half the gadgets he had tried to force on me) in the P-7 lot, waiting for Cardinal, Harris and Adam. I suppose I should call him Ibis. Cardinal, Harris and Ibis. They turned up a few moments later with a little more equipment than Crossbill, but then, they were dealing with more technology than I was.
Cardinal looked me over, judging the things I had chosen.
"Are you sure that's all you want?" He asked. Crossbill made a disgusted noise.
"He wouldn't take anything else. Laptop, handgun, tiny climbers and a couple rubber bands. He wouldn't accept anything I offered."
I met Cardinal's eyes evenly. Not bothering to tell him the things Crossbill had missed; the plaskin gloves I already wore, a thin layer of technology that wouldn't get in my way or let me leave anything for the officials to find, the contacts that allowed me infrared vision at will, the short knives hidden in my boots and the small of my back, and that didn't even cover the things I could do with my laptop alone. Cardinal looked away first, choosing instead to study Crossbill for a moment.
"Don't underestimate him." Was all he said before turning towards our transportation, which turned out to be a motorcycle apiece. Damn. How was I supposed to ride that? Sure I knew how to do it intellectually, but I was too small to actually reach everything and it would take me a few minutes to figure everything out. I hesitated as the others prepared to leave, their movements easy with familiarity. Crossbill noticed and turned to Cardinal, grinning mockingly.
"Your sparrow can't ride with us Cardinal." Cardinal glared at him, as if daring him to push him further.
"He's nine years old Crossbill, I didn't expect him to be able to drive it. He knows the mechanics but it isn't possible for him to have had any practical experience, not to mention we'd have to customize a bike for him in the first place. He'll ride with you." Crossbill stared, incredulous for a moment before turning to me, plastering a sneer over his face.
"I hope you can hold on kid, 'cause I'm not stopping if you fall off." He turned back to his bike, barely allowing me the chance to climb up behind him before he raced out of the garage, grounding to a halt once outside and effectively jostling me. This was not going to be a fun ride. Cardinal didn't say anything when he and the others joined us, but his shoulders were stiff with disapproval. That cooled Crossbill's mood a little and he wasn't quite as reckless for the rest of the ride. It seemed even he was reluctant to displease Cardinal.
**
(A/n - * listening to RK soundtrack * Ross, if you ever read this, Thank you, thank you thank you, I love it!) ^.~
**
We arrived outside the location two hours later, and I had somehow managed to hang on the whole time. Crossbill seemed a little disappointed as I climbed off the back and started stretching, my muscles stiff from the ordeal. Cardinal nodded to Harris and me.
"You two go on ahead, we'll take care of the bikes." Harris gestured for me to follow and we set off into the darkness, searching for the power box. After about ten minutes I saw it and stopped, surprised. Harris grinned at me, his teeth flashing startlingly against his dark skin in the weak light.
"Bit more than you were expecting kid?" I could only nod. The security around the box was more than I'd seen in one place before, not that I could really see all of it. The fact that I saw so little was the most alarming thing because it meant that these people were rich enough to be able to afford the top equipment and smart enough to realize that the less seen, the more intimidating it was. I couldn't find anything but vague clues as to what was really guarding the place. Harris didn't seem worried. He started walking in a five-foot radius around the box, pausing every step or so to spray some dust in the general direction of his circle's center. As he completed his circuit I was able to see what he had done.
He had revealed the security for what it was, shut the cloaking abilities off. And what he revealed was far more than I'd thought could be used around a power box. My face must have revealed some of this because Harris laughed softly.
"Don't look so intimidated; it's not that bad. Most of this isn't even functioning; it's just there to give you second thoughts. Khlinar's a smart bastard." He stepped forward, using a decoder to bypass most of the systems and walking straight up to the box itself. Then he turned back to me.
"You coming or not?" I blinked, his voice shocking me out of a mental analysis of everything he had done. Odin had never worked like this; he didn't have to.
I walked forward; careful to follow his exact path, just in case there was something I tripped on accidently. When I came level with Harris I swallowed, hard. The machine in front of me was insanely complicated. For me to work on it I needed a keyboard, but I could not find one. Just a lot of levers and nondescript buttons with nothing to distinguish what any of it did. Harris seemed to find my discomfort increasingly amusing.
"Just watch carefully, and remember. You'll be better at this than I am soon, no doubt about that." Sometimes this utter confidence in my abilities backfired on me. It was nice to know someone actually thought I was worth that much, but at the same time it gave me responsibilities I really didn't want. What if I failed? Suddenly I was wishing I could just go back to the base and curl up in bed. What would happen if I failed? It was like a bucket of ice-cold water over my head. I started trembling, unable to control my nerves even as my mind recorded every detail of Harris' movements, etching them in to my brain on automatic as I tried to deal with this new problem. If I failed.. Cardinal would be disappointed. Harris would pat me on the back trying to comfort but only succeeding in making it worse, Ibis would try to distract me with competitions he knew I would win, Crossbill would yell at me and Cooper would shake his head. And Cardinal would just look at me; disappointment in every line of his body as he assured me that there would be other missions. Empty words. If he couldn't trust me from the start he never would. I started shaking violently, trying desperately to get a hold of myself, to pull down the mask and let it be useful for once. Harris turned to give me a code to type in and noticed how my hands were shaking. Understanding flooded his eyes and he took my hands in his own, massaging the back of my wrists.
"It's okay Hitokiri, it'll be fine. Just don't think about it. You just do what you have to do and don't worry about whether you get it right or not. There're enough of us to make up for any mistake one of us makes. Just don't give up, especially when you haven't even started." I stared up at him, begging for reassurance but knowing that it wouldn't really help.
"Do you know what Cooper taught me on my first mission? We were trying to get these blueprints for a base but the security was better than we thought and we got caught. Before we left, Cooper destroyed everything and made it impossible for anyone else to get those blueprints ever again." He grinned again. "That's what he taught me; if you can't do it yourself, make sure no one else can. It's gotten me through a lot. So if you're going to mess something up kid, make sure you do a first rate job of it because otherwise you're just wasting time." He was rambling now. The information was somewhat useful, but it really had nothing to do with why I was so nervous. Not really. But his voice was soothing, and gradually the icy cold dissipated, and my hands stopped shaking.
I pulled away and typed in the code, taking satisfaction from the fact that now I wouldn't be bothered about cameras and trip lasers while I tried to get inside the grounds. Harris and I started back towards the others in silence. Just before we came into earshot I stopped, and he looked back at me curiously. I couldn't look him in the eye so I studied my feet as I spoke, barely whispering.
"Thanks." He just nodded and we continued walking. Cardinal stood as we approached, startling Ibis and Crossbill into lurching to their feet hurriedly. He ignored them, choosing to study Harris and me instead.
"Everything went well?" Harris nodded.
"Well then, Crossbill, you take him to the west wall, we'll be entering by another direction to make things harder on them." Crossbill started walking in the general direction of the mansion, obviously not caring whether I followed or not. I trotted after him, silently seething. Even if I was terrified to fail a few moments before, that didn't mean I couldn't resent his treating me as an incompetent.
We neared the wall and I paused to study it, trying to determine the best path into the grounds. Crossbill turned to me a mocking smile on his lips.
"We need to get over the wall. If you would have brought the grappling hook and rope like I told you to it'd be a lot easier." I chose to ignore his whining and stepped closer to the wall, attaching the climbers to my hands. He saw them and sneered.
"Those won't do anything here kid, that wall is smooth as ice." I wanted to comment that a grappling hook wouldn't be much use in that case but managed to hold the mask down.
Without waiting for further abuse from my 'partner' I reached up as I could and jammed the climbers into the thick plaster covering the walls. I pulled myself up that wall by my arms alone, making a mental note to never irritate Harris again in my life as months of training paid off. When I reached the top I crouched on the rim, staring down at Crossbill, a slight smile on my lips. He looked as if he couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or impressed. Before he could decide that I needed to be bawled at I unwound the thin black cord from around my waist and tossed one end down to him. As soon as he had a good hold on it I jumped to the ground inside the wall to wait for him to finish his climb. When he joined me, panting slightly, all he could manage was a glare before muttering, "Come on" and heading towards the mansion itself.
It was huge, and I had no idea how we were going to even find Khliner, let alone avoid security. Crossbill seemed to know exactly where he was going however. I stopped him with a hand on his elbow.
"What?" he hissed at me.
"Where are you going?" I whispered back.
"Third floor, fourth on the right dummy! Where else?"
"But he could be anywhere."
"We don't have time to search everywhere! We need to get this done fast!"
"But-"
"Just shut up and follow me." Well he obviously wasn't going to take my advice, but I had to try. So I followed him silently, amazed at the lack of security we came across. We climbed the stairs to avoid the elevators, reaching the third floor in twenty minutes. It was a really big place. I did not want to get lost in there to say the least. We entered the fourth room on the right cautiously, Crossbill first with me right behind him, pulling out my gun and immediately heading for the shadows of the room. I was not going to mess this up.
There was a middle aged man with immaculately groomed black hair and wearing a smart blue suit sitting at a desk near the other end of the room, his back to the door. That seemed wrong somehow. My mind informed me quite forcefully that a man as accomplished as Yokos Khliner would never sit with his back to a door. Furthermore he seemed to be doing nothing remotely productive. Crossbill didn't seem to realize this and he gestured to me urgently, miming shooting the man in the back of his head. I shook my head, convinced that this could not be the target. Crossbill got angry and started to pull out his own gun. I rushed towards him; trying to stall him, prevent him from shooting. I didn't make it, and a single shot rang out in the stillness of the room. The man who could not be Yokos Khliner jerked in shock before slumping to fall across the desk, most definitely dead. I couldn't move. All I could do was stare at him, the second person I had seen die, the first I had seen killed. And the worst of it was, something in me enjoyed it. I watched as blood ran through his hair and drip onto the papers strewn over the desk in fascination, unable to tear my gaze away. I could hear his death over and over again in my mind. The gunshot, a sigh escaping him as he breathed his last, the thump of his body against the desk and a sharp click. What was that click? I could feel the world start to slip away as I watched him, playing it over and over in my mind. Shot, sigh, thump, click. Then Crossbill's voice brought me back to the present.
"There, are you happy now? He's dead; we've completed the mission, no thanks to you. Let's go." I shook my head.
"What now?"
"That isn't Yokos Khliner."
"Of course it is." I couldn't believe he was so dense.
"You honestly believe that a man as accomplished as Yokos Khliner, as proficient at underhanded dealings, would ever sit with his back to a door? Don't be stupid." He gaped at me, but I could see his thoughts working behind his eyes. He was in huge trouble now. When he spoke he was subdued, almost hesitant.
"Where do you think he could be then?" I thought for a moment. Where did I think he was? Then something else clicked in my mind and I dove for the floor, pulling Crossbill with me. Seconds later an explosion rocked though the mansion and the wall behind us came flying at us in a hundred pieces. When the dust had settled enough to breathe fairly easily I stood up. Crossbill stared at me, wild-eyed.
"How did you know?" His voice was trembling, and I realized that in many ways, he was still a teenager who had never seen most of the world. Or at least, most of my world. In some ways I was already older than him.
"It was that click, after you shot him. Nothing added up right. He shouldn't have been here, shouldn't have had his back to the door, there shouldn't have been any sound after he hit the desk. They knew we were coming." Crossbill still looked puzzled.
"But how did you know it was a bomb?" I could feel my mouth twisting into a bitter smile.
"If I couldn't tell when a bomb was going to go off, I'd have died years ago."
"Oh." I shook away the memories threatening to overwhelm me.
"We need to find Khliner." Crossbill nodded and climbed to his feet. I stood and let my eyes unfocus; put my mind at full capacity. I didn't have time for guesses, and if I screwed up now.
"He's trying to make a run for it. He'll be in the outer courtyard." Crossbill gave me a funny stare but didn't argue as we ran out of the room. He didn't have any better ideas.
We found the courtyard in under five minutes. Quite a feat in that place. I could see him sneaking in the shadows, always heading for the exit to the main grounds. I ran after him, stopped a few yards away, and spoke to him.
"Yokos Khliner." He froze and turned slowly, pulling something from underneath his jacket. I leveled my gun at him, aiming straight at his heart. I didn't trust my aim enough to compensate for the height difference and aim for his head.
"Drop the weapon." I ordered him. He dropped the handgun he'd been pulling out and stared at me. Then he laughed.
"A child. You're nothing but a child."
"And you're a double dealing old man that the world is much better off without."
"At least I made someone happy boy. Whose life do you improve? You're an assassin, the lowest scum in the universe. You have no right to preach morals to me boy." I stayed silent. He was right of course. But he didn't even know half of it.
"What's wrong boy? Cat got your tongue? Why don't you just shoot me and have done with it?" He was trying to stall me. He needn't have bothered. I couldn't make myself shoot him.
"Look out!" Crossbill jerked me out of my musings on how to force myself to finish this. Khliner was rushing towards me, the knife in his hand glinting in the dim light that passed for night in the colonies. I didn't have time to think. I adjusted my aim and shot him, again and again, but he kept coming. Finally I got him between the eyes and he faltered to the ground, but not before dragging the knife in a ragged cut down the length of my arm, cutting easily through the soft leather of my uniform.
I clutched my arm to myself and sank to my knees beside my first murder. Blood was spreading around me, some mine and some his. The courtyard faded away into something entirely different.
*
I was running through endless corridors of machinery. Stray wires reached out at me, tugging on my arms, tripping up my feet. Sharp jags of metal kept digging into my skin, tearing through my clothes and shoes, leaving my legs and feet bloody and raw. Still I ran, panting, knowing that someone was trying to find me and terrified that they would. But also terrified that they would somehow miss me in the twisting hallways.
Slowly I became aware that I wasn't running on a metal sheet floor any longer, I was wading though blood. It sloshed around my ankles, slowing my progress to a walk. Soon, a few minutes, an eternity later, I came to a large room. Every wall was covered in vidscreens. They showed what I assumed to be the outside of the maze I was in. Walls of machinery were crumbling to some unknown force. My attention was drawn to the center of the room where a figure stood. He was dressed all in black, rags hanging from the body like forlorn spirits longing to get free but bound forever. Then I noticed that the blood seemed to originate at this figure, spreading out from him in ripples. He turned towards me and I took an involuntary step back. He was me. There were differences certainly, he was much older, taller and his eyes held a hungry look that was alien to my expression. But the hair, matted with dirt and blood as it was, was still my hair, the delicate bones of his face still my face, and the long slender hands were still my hands. His hands. That was where the blood was coming from. It was pooling in his palms and running through his fingers to the floor in a continuous stream. He held them out to me, grinning a full- toothed grin that was terrifying in the sheer wildness it promised.
"I'm glad you finally came. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten."
"Forgotten what?"
"Our bargain, of course. Don't you remember? Well it doesn't really matter. You're a true hitokiri now."
"No." he laughed at me.
"No? You don't think so? Too bad. Because it's true. You have killed in cold blood, and you will do it again. Many times."
"NO!" He came closer to me, until I could feel the death coming off him in waves, breaking down my barriers and drowning me in despair.
"You will. And you will enjoy it." He whispered, and gestured towards on of the vidscreens. It showed myself, fighting, killing without mercy or thought. It was as natural as breathing. I could feel the tears threatening to brim over my eyes. He laughed at me again.
"This is your destiny."
"NO!" I screamed, and the blood rose up around me, washing over me and through me, filling every part of me, drowning me. I sank into darkness.
Notes: Ahh! Please don't kill me! I know this is incredibly, impossibly late and I'm really really sorry! School and life have just been very busy with me. I kept promising myself I would get this written and I could never get it done and it was driving me absolutely insane! I know you might not want to hear this right now. but please review. Even if you are just telling me that I'm insane and I really should have gotten this up sooner, and how much you want to hurt me right now, that's okay. I still want the communication. It will give me reason to get the next chapter out sooner.