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Fragmented Lives (The Parody)
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Copyright Info and Disclaimer.
"Neon Genesis Evangelion" is Copyright (c) 2002 by Gainax. All OTHER material is Copyright (c) 2002 their owners. All materials used for PARODY purposes.
"Fragmented Lives (THE PARODY)" is Copyright (c) 2002 by DBM. This work is an Amateur, Non-Commercial work by an Anime/Manga Fan. This work was created in the Spirit of the Copyright Exemptions regarding Parodies and Satire.
If you like my work, you may keep a copy for your own personal records, but you may NOT post it on any websites/newsgroups, NOR may you include it in any printed publication for sale/public distribution. If printing out a copy for yourself or a friend, you may reformat it (paragraph spacing, page-breaks, font and font size, borders, bold/italic, etc) to fit the paper you use, but please do not change any of the actual words or wording in the document.
Sole web-posting at FanFiction.Net - Author's E-Mail address on File.
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Censorship Info and Disclaimer.
NOT Recommended for Children.
Intended for MATURE Audiences.
There are NO 'sex scenes', but, just like the original NGE series, the story will explore the results and side effects of such activities. Along the way, there'll be swearing, violence, drugs, Adult situations, and frank discussions of sex education/family planning information, as well as thoughts and opinions on the morals and ethics of sexual assault, dating, courtship, marriage, alternate sexualities, pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, Family Values, etc.
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Fandom Alerts and Disclaimer.
AU Alert (Alternate Universe).
OOC Alert (Out Of Character).
ACC Alert (Author Created Character).
SI Alert (Self Insert - Author appears in the story as a character).
SPOILER Alert (May 'spoil' surprises in the Manga and Anime TV/Movies).
' ' denotes thoughts.
" " denotes speech
denotes other method of communication.
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Fragment - Instinctive Response.
"hah-CHOOO! Snork! SNORRRKKK! … hahhh…" Glando Atari lay in a Sick Room somewhere in the NERVIS Base, struggling with what he'd first thought was just another common cold.
"You look like death reheated," Fu2ok observed.
"…hi feell id…" Glando nasalled out, his breathing ragged after offloading the latest batch of mucus from his sinuses "…hefyewtoo-ohgay… tayg ober kommand…"
"No problem," Fu2ok agreed, "Atari, I really think you should check into the Base Hospital, rather than stay down here…"
Glando turned a bleary glare at his Second-In-Command, "…noh… segurrity…"
"No Security?" Fu2ok shook his head in amazement, "You may have a right to be paranoid, but I'm talking about Secured Medical Isolation! You won't have to worry about any assassins coming after you…"
"…NOHH…" Glando repeated in a louder mumble, "…noht noh segurrity… peepil noh…"
"Oh, I SEE…" Fu2ok nodded as the light dawned, "You're worried that 'certain people' might find out you're ill and try to take advantage of the situation?"
Glando gave a hacking cough then nodded, "…yeshh… tehl noh wun…"
"Rest then," Fu2ok soothed, "I'll ensure you have adequate… privacy…"
Fu2ok made a quick phone call alerting Security that the local section had just become a no-go area.
"Are you sure you don't want a 'minder'?" Fu2ok asked with a worried frown, "If your situation gets worse…?"
Glando grimaced as he shook his head, "…marsheen… larm…"
"Machine Alarm? You're being monitored?" Fu2ok pressed, "By a machine?"
Glando nodded his head weakly and swallowed painfully.
"Have it your way then," Fu2ok sighed in resignation, "I'll see you later…"
Fu2ok walked off, leaving the sick man to fend for himself.
Like most forms of Influenza, the one Glando was afflicted with was a mutated strain, and was sufficiently different to previous versions to make existing vaccines inadequate. The only benefit Glando could count on from his previous vaccinations, was the fact that his immune system had used them for practice.
Glando dozed fitfully for several hours, his mind in a feverish haze as his body tried to 'sweat it out' with the viral invaders in his body. In his delirium, his mind tried to escape his current situation by going back to the few pleasant memories Glando had in his past.
…Unfortunately for Glando, every pleasant memory had its own dark shadow…
"…nuhh… dhon't goh…" tears trickled from Glando's feverish eyes, as once again, he lost the person closest to him…
"…I am here…" the quietly soothing voice of his dead wife floated through Glando's mind, quelling his emotional pain.
"…dhon't leeve mee…" Glando begged.
"…I will stay with you…" the voice came again, along with the memory of a gentle touch on his face.
Glando sobbed with relief, the imagined contact allowing him to slip into a more peaceful darkness…
Sometime during Glando's unconsciousness, his fever broke. The next time he woke up, it was to the utter exhaustion that accompanies any battle with a bad bout of the Flu.
'I was having hallucinations…' Glando thought to himself as he shut his eyes, his blurry gaze unable to focus on the ceiling above him, 'Perhaps I should have gone into a Hospital room…'
As Glando lay panting on his bed, he gradually became aware of several things.
One, his fever appeared to have broken.
'Feels like I'm over the worst of it,' Glando decided gratefully, 'With luck I may be fit for duty in a day or so. Unless I have a relapse…'
Two, Glando became aware of someone humming a familiar tune in the background.
'That tune…' Glando was alarmed, 'Am I having another hallucination?'
Glando turned a stiff neck in the apparent direction of the sound, his blurry vision making out the form of someone squatting near a far wall. He tried to sit up, so he could better assess what was going on. The sudden movement of his head however, prompted a flood from his nose.
"Snorrkkk!" Glando only just got a tissue to his nose in time. The sudden clearing of his sinus made him aware of another thing.
…The delicious aroma of cooked food…
"Commander?" Rave Imanonymous#2 stopped stirring the portable electric casserole hotpot in front of her, "Are you feeling better?"
"…yess…" Glando's breath hissed out through his ravaged throat, "…rave? whot… hah yoo dooing heer?"
"Making dinner, Sir," Rave replied.
"…wh-arK…" Glando's croak turned into a cough. He stopped to clear his throat properly before continuing, "…noh… why… are yoo… HEER?"
"You are ill, Sir," Rave replied, stating the obvious, "And Acting Commander Fu2ok though it best if someone was with you…"
"…hi seee…" Glando sighed, then with as much of his 'Command Persona' that he could muster he ordered, "…yoo may goh now… hime feeling mudge bedda…"
"No," Rave replied in her usual monotone as she filled a bowl from the hotpot.
"…wh…whot?" Glando blinked in surprise at Rave's refusal to follow his order.
"You relinquished command to Acting Commander Fu2ok," Rave explained in innocent tones, "…due to medical incapacitation. Until you are cleared as medically fit for duty, your orders do not have Command Level Authority."
'She… she's right…' Glando realised, the shock making him lie back down as he pondered the ramifications, 'Until I am cleared, I have no authority… NO auth…'
Glando's sudden gasping for breath was only partly due to his illness…
"Besides," Rave walked over with the bowl of hot food and a spoon, "You asked me not to leave."
Glando's eyes widened as Rave's words sank in.
"And as I said," Rave's voice became quieter, "…I will stay with you…"
Glando turned to look at the young girl standing at his bedside. Rave was looking at Glando with a peaceful expression, the faint blush on her face accentuating the shy warmth in her eyes.
"…ha-aahhh…" wheezed Glando, unsure of what response to make.
"I made chicken soup," Rave announced, "With garlic, onion and chives…"
Glando was stunned, 'Savoury chicken soup? My wife always made that in winter… 'To chase the bugs away' as she put it… How did Rave know…?'
"Here," Rave said as she offered a spoonful to Glando, "I will help you eat it…"
For the next few minutes, Glando Atari, the most powerful, most Evil B-----D in all of NERVIS, was spoon-fed a bowl of soup like a helpless baby.
"…hank yoo…" Glando murmured as Rave took the empty bowl away for cleaning.
"It is my pleasure Commander," Rave said as she headed off to the sink in the nearby kitchenette, "…to help you chase the bugs away…"
Glando stared after Rave in confused apprehension…
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OMAKE - Instinctive Response #1.
"Oh, I see…" Fu2ok nodded as the light dawned, "You're worried that 'certain people' might find out you're ill and try to take advantage of the situation?"
Glando gave a hacking cough as he nodded, "…yeshh… tehl noh wun…"
"Rest then," Fu2ok soothed, "I'll ensure you have adequate… privacy…"
Fu2ok made a quick phone call alerting Security that the local section had just become a no-go area.
…And another call a bit later to the Building Services Division…
"Oh, YES!" Fu2ok grinned evilly as he bricked up the doorway into Glando's sickroom, "I'll CERTAINLY make sure you get some… 'privacy'… Commander Atari…"
So it was, that in the unexpectedly PERMANENT absence of Glando Atari, that Fu2ok finally became Commander of NERVIS…
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OMAKE - Instinctive Response #2.
"I made chicken soup," Rave announced, "With garlic, onion and chives…"
"Here," Rave said as she offered a spoonful to Glando, "I will help you eat it…"
For the next few minutes, Glando Atari the most powerful, most Evil B-----D in all of NERVIS, was spoon-fed a bowl of soup like a helpless baby.
"Open WI~IDE," Rave said in singsong voice as she aimed a spoonful of soup at Glando's face, "Here comes the CHOO-choo!"
The 'Pokemon' Bib Rave put on Glando, only added to his Mortal Embarrassment…
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OMAKE - Instinctive Response #3.
"You relinquished command to Acting Commander Fu2ok," Rave explained in innocent tones, "…due to medical incapacitation. Until you are cleared as medically fit for duty, your orders do not have Command Level Authority."
'She… she's right…' Glando realised, the shock making him lie back down as he pondered the ramifications, 'Until I am cleared, I have no authority… NO auth…'
"Now then," Rave said as she calmly snapped on a pair of rubber gloves, "Acting Commander Fu2ok has ordered me to ensure you receive adequate treatment…"
"…????…" Glando began to sweat as his 'Vague Sense of Impending Doom', (the one his son had inherited from him) began playing creepy background music…
"And," continued Rave, "He has instructed me on what therapeutic procedures you should have and when. And right now Sir, it is time for your Ice-Cube enema…"
Glando's sudden gasping for breath was only partly due to his illness…
The Fan Fiction Writer felt a need to explain… I see *NOTHING* wrong with inflicting a highly humiliating and uncomfortable procedure on an Evil B-----D who deserves it!
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OMAKE - Instinctive Response #4.
Glando was stunned, 'Savoury chicken soup? My wife always made that in winter… 'To chase the bugs away' as she put it… How did Rave know…?'
"It is my pleasure Commander," Rave said as she headed off to the sink in the nearby kitchenette, "…to help you chase the bugs away…"
Glando stared after Rave in confused apprehension…
Glando's deepest fears were realised when he next opened his eyes. For there… Standing near Glando in 9-inch high stiletto shoes, sheer fishnet stockings and an extremely skimpy and revealingly 'see-through' nurses outfit…
…was Fu2ok…
"I just thought," Fu2ok husked in suggestive tones, "That it wouldn't be fair to load ALL of your care onto poor Rave… So I decided to… 'help out'… a bit…"
"…Uhhh…??" Glando hoped like H--L this was an hallucination, and that the Fan Fiction Writer HADN'T been watching 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' again…
"Temperature Time," cooed Fu2ok, producing an ENORMOUS rectal thermometer…
Glando's sudden gasping for breath was only partly due to his illness…
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