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Fragmented Lives (The Parody)
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Copyright Info and Disclaimer.
"Neon Genesis Evangelion" is Copyright (c) 2002 by Gainax. All OTHER material is Copyright (c) 2002 their owners. All materials used for PARODY purposes.
"Fragmented Lives (THE PARODY)" is Copyright (c) 2002 by DBM. This work is an Amateur, Non-Commercial work by an Anime/Manga Fan. This work was created in the Spirit of the Copyright Exemptions regarding Parodies and Satire.
If you like my work, you may keep a copy for your own personal records, but you may NOT post it on any websites/newsgroups, NOR may you include it in any printed publication for sale/public distribution. If printing out a copy for yourself or a friend, you may reformat it (paragraph spacing, page-breaks, font and font size, borders, bold/italic, etc) to fit the paper you use, but please do not change any of the actual words or wording in the document.
Sole web-posting at FanFiction.Net - Author's E-Mail address on File.
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Censorship Info and Disclaimer.
NOT Recommended for Children.
Intended for MATURE Audiences.
There are NO 'sex scenes', but, just like the original NGE series, the story will explore the results and side effects of such activities. Along the way, there'll be swearing, violence, drugs, Adult situations, and frank discussions of sex education/family planning information, as well as thoughts and opinions on the morals and ethics of sexual assault, dating, courtship, marriage, alternate sexualities, pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, Family Values, etc.
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Fandom Alerts and Disclaimer.
AU Alert (Alternate Universe).
OOC Alert (Out Of Character).
ACC Alert (Author Created Character).
SI Alert (Self Insert - Author appears in the story as a character).
SPOILER Alert (May 'spoil' surprises in the Manga and Anime TV/Movies).
' ' denotes thoughts.
" " denotes speech
denotes other method of communication.
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OMAKE - Twisted Lime OOC-ness!
The office of the Commander of the NERVIS Base was little more than an empty warehouse shell with some disturbing décor and 'power' furniture. Today, as usual, the main occupant of the room sat at the single desk in the middle of the echoing room, brooding secret, unspeakable plans.
Glando blinked as a ripple ran through the space-time continuum of the room. Fearing some sort of attack on the Base, Glando reached out to tap the intercom and get an update from Security…
…And stopped as it suddenly became apparent that the arm reaching for the intercom was not clothed in Glando's usual dark suit and white glove, but was wreathed in a far more feminine elbow-length silk glove with lace inserts…
"What the…?" Glando asked, only to choke on the words on hearing their high-pitched girlish tones.
Clamping down on a rising sense of panic, Glando activated the intercom, and gently chimed out "Fu2ok, get in here… NOW!"
The armoured doors groaned open to admit a single figure… Glando blinked in surprise as a tall elderly female, with grey hair tied back in a stereotypical Librarians bun, strolled over to the desk…
…trailing a bullwhip behind a body encased within the sleek, shiny constraints of a full-blown patent leather dominatrix outfit, complete with nine-inch stiletto heeled thigh-high lace-up boots, fishnet stocking bodysuit, studded dog-collar and matching bracelets, and several (indescribable in a PG-13 setting story) 'themed' fashion accessories…
"You rang my Bell?" the elderly sexpot husked suggestively.
"Err…" Glando's voice went up an octave or two, "Madam? I'm sorry… I don't believe I've had the pleasure of being introduced…?"
"It's ME," the leather-clad female replied with a wry smile, "I'm Fu2ok…"
"WHAT?"
"It appears," Fu2ok crooned, as he… err… SHE… sat on the edge of Glando's desk (in a seductive pose better suited to women a few generations younger), "The Fan Fiction Writer has decided to do a 'Gender-Reversal' OMAKE, due to over-exposure to fan fictions based on Rumiko Takahashi-sama's 'Ranma 1/2' storyline…"
"…oh… My… GOD!" wailed Glando, jumping up in sudden panic and running over to the storeroom where a hidden bathroom and full-length mirror resided.
"Don't worry, Dah-Ling," Fu2ok called out after Glando, "You look DEVINE!"
"OH *MY* **GOOD** ***GOD***!!!" screamed Glando, as SHE saw the outfit she was currently wearing.
Looking like something a drug addict might design after overdosing on both their chemical of choice and a 'Magic Girl' Anime marathon, the outfit was not only frilly and feminine, but also capable of being colour co-ordinated with the bulk of 'Barbie' accessories in existence.
That most of the characters in 'Mahou-Shoujo' (Magic Girl) Anime wore stylishly 'revealing' outfits, had resulted in the 'way-over-the-age-of-18' Glando's outfit being the sort of thing that would have had ANY Anime show shut down by the Censor, if the outfit had been worn by an 'under-aged' character.
Glando's next comments were both piercingly high and completely unprintable as she realised that she'd had more than a 'wardrobe change', as made MORE THAN EVIDENT by the 'cut' and 'hang' of the outfit.
Glando's horrified disbelief barely allowed her to register what her face now looked like. A mature, dusky-skinned woman looked out from behind a frame of silky locks. Then there were the spectacles, they had become the sort of 'funky' eyeglasses that Dame Edna Everage would kill for.
With more than a slight nervous tic in her face, 'Glandette' staggered back to her desk, muttering crystal-toned obscenities under her breath…
"…why…?" Glando moaned in a moment of rare 'content printability', "…why ME…?"
Fu2ok barely paused from touching up her makeup to shrug her shoulders, "I don't see why you're making such a big deal about it… I mean, it's not like the Fan Fiction Writer is going to make an ONGOING SERIES based on such a scenario…"
"What makes you think THAT?" demanded Glando, knowing ALL TOO WELL that the Fan Fiction Writer in question had it 'in' for the Commander in any case.
"Well, for one," purred Fu2ok, "The poor dear has enough trouble writing the Main story as is… Even so, he's HAD to resort to blatant stereotyping and totally 'Out Of Character' portrayals to do so… Second… And I have this from a RELIABLE SOURCE, he's the sort of Nice Young Man that actually cares about the feelings of other fans, and worries over the way he portrays the characters he…"
"B--LS--T!" Glando roared in melodious tones, "Have you seen what happens to ME in the OMAKE's he writes? I get screwed-over at the drop of a hat!"
"OMAKE's aren't the Main Story, Dah-Ling," Fu2ok stressed, "But regarding your analysis of OMAKE's to date, I think you should just relax and try to enjoy it!"
"ENJOY???"
"Of course," Fu2ok raised an eyebrow, "We're females in a Parody of popular Japanese Entertainment Mediums, so we SHOULD be able to enjoy ourselves!"
Glando opened her mouth to retort but stopped as a sudden thought struck her, "What do you mean, 'Parody'? Do you mean the Western Otaku version of 'Parody', as in 'MAD Magazine', or the Japanese Otaku version of 'Parody', as in sexually explicit rip-offs of popular shows in Doujinshi (Fan made magazines)?"
"Guess," Fu2ok smiled coyly as she indicated her own outfit with a flourish of her hand, "Personally speaking, I just can't WAIT till I get my hands on all of those STRAPPING Young Hunks that are sure to turn up! It'll make for GREAT Research Data on the sex lives of Post-Menopausal Women…"
Glando's look of horror only intensified as the first squad from the 'Virile Members Brigade' showed up.
The Fan Fiction Writer suddenly popped in to note that since he DOESN'T do Lemon or Hentai material (Erotic/Porno), the remainder of this story segment will be left up to the imaginations of the reader… However perverted they may be… :)
- - - - - - - - - -
Rave Imanonymous stared out the window of the school classroom, her crimson eyes watching the eternal interplay of Natural forces in the world outside.
…And suddenly blinking as a strange feeling shivered across the world…
'That felt like a ripple in the Space-Time continuum,' Rave decided, comparing the recent event to previous experiences, 'Are we under attack again?'
Just in case, Rave turned back to the classroom, anticipating the sudden ringing of the AVE Pilot's mobile phones…
…And blinked again as she saw the changes that had happened in class…
…And blinked a third time as Rave realised the changes in HIS own body…
'I am… Male…' Rave noted, 'We have all changed genders… Fascinating…'
And then, bedlam broke out in the classroom as the room full of teenagers discovered the changes for themselves…
"WHAAATTT!" came a masculine roar from where Aesir sat.
"HOLY S--T!" came an astonished growl from where Toe-jam sat.
"Oh My God!" the feminine wail came from where Shakey sat.
"Tits! I got Tiiiits!" the cry of wondrous delight came from where Kantsee sat.
"Everyone be Quiet!" Hickory the class monitor tried to be heard.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU PERVERTS IS RESPONSIBLE!" Aesir screamed, her… err… HIS strident tones cutting through the rest of the clamour as he turned on Toe-Jam.
"Hey!" protested Toe-Jam, "Ya can't blame US for this! We're affected too!"
"Exactly!" Aesir accused, "It's probably just so YOU can sneak into the Girl's toilet during all the confusion!"
"Why do a dumb thing like that!" Toe-Jam retorted, "You might be in dere!"
"Are you saying there's something wrong with that?" Aesir shot back.
"Hey!" Toe-Jam countered, "Just take a look inna mirror!"
"Come here and say that, you B---H!" Aesir hotly demanded.
Toe-Jam got out of her seat and walked up to Aesir, glaring daggers at him.
GUMPH! The sound was almost too muffled to be heard, but Rave still noted the unique sound that Toe-Jam's knee made as it slammed into Aesir's crotch…
"Since yer ain't a Girl no more," Toe-Jam growled in triumph, "I can hit ya…"
Rave catalogued the look of shocked pain on Aesir's face, right before the red-haired boy slowly crumpled up and fell to the floor… Rave's further observations were interrupted by a choked-off sob from elsewhere in the room.
Like some of the other **ORIGINAL** boys in the classroom, Shakey was taking the transformation hard. Shakey had been having enough doubts about his Manhood recently, especially since Aesir was constantly taunting him about his 'wuss' status, and the current situation was the last straw.
"It is all right," Rave said as he stood and went to the distraught young girl who had been a boy but minutes earlier, "It is only a sex change… It will not be permanent, just long enough for the Fan Fiction Writer to see if he wants to continue with this sort of story type…"
"But," Shakey sobbed, "It's not that… it's just…"
"Just?" Rave gently prompted, putting a comforting hand on Shakey's shoulder.
"I don't know how… to be a Man…" Shakey sobbed, "Let alone be a GIRL…"
Rave paused as he considered what he could say that would help his workmate.
"I can help you adjust," Rave offered.
"…please…" Shakey replied in a small voice.
"We should start with the basics," Rave stated, "I will first show you how to take care of Female hygiene needs…"
"I-is that really necessary?" Shakey blushed furiously at the thought.
"Would you rather that Mazurka had to tell you instead?" Rave pointed out.
Shakey's blush turned into a sudden paleness, as the young girl contemplated having Mazurka teach her about the female side of the 'facts of life'…
"It is probably best if we discuss this further elsewhere," Rave continued, "Say at my place? Or would you prefer we go to Mazurka's apartment?"
"Nih-No," Shakey stuttered, "Your place is probably better… Aesir looks like she… I mean HE needs to take the rest of the day off…"
"I think it best if we leave now," Rave advised quietly, and with good reason.
After seeing how Toe-Jam had handled Aesir, many of the former boys in the class now had malevolent looks in their eyes as they strapped on their soccer boots, and formed an orderly line near the still-groaning Aesir.
"There is much to discuss," Rave informed Shakey, "And you will not want to leave any of it unlearned by the time you return to Mazurka's…"
With a self-conscious nod, Shakey rose and walked with Rave out of the classroom.
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, Doctor Ritzy Akatlover bit on a screwdriver, both hands struggling to secure a bulky component deep inside one of the MOGGY Supercomputers.
Another ripple in the Space-Time continuum ran through the storyline.
"Mayi?" Ritzy mumbled from around the screwdriver, "Did something just happen, like the lights flickering?"
"H-Hai (Yes)," Mayi's voice croaked out.
"Great!" Ritzy grumbled, "Looks like I'll have to fix the lousy power grid as well as this… If only this useless- GOTCHA!" her comments were interrupted as the component suddenly slid into place. With speed born of frequent practice, Ritzy fastened the screws that secured the component.
Satisfied with the job, Ritzy began to wriggle out of the MOGGY chassis…
"Damn," Ritzy muttered as the cuff of a pants leg snagged on a part of the MOGGY, "I could've torn my trouser leg… Trouser Leg? What the…???"
Ritzy struggled out of the twisted confines of the MOGGY Supercomputer and stood up, looking in disbelief at the change in clothing.
"Mayi?" Ritzy said while turning to the younger Computer Technician, "What just happened? I was wearing a skirt and now…?"
Ritzy blinked at the unexpected sight of a young man with a slight build and shy attitude standing nearby.
"Sempai?" the young man wailed in plaintive tones, "What's happened to us?"
"MAYI?" Ritzy exclaimed in shock, "You're a Male?"
"Hai (Yes)," Mayi agreed miserably, "As are you…"
"The Fan Fiction Writer…" Ritzy growled in 'I'm too tired for this S--T' tones.
Having just proven that intelligence is NOT a select function of gender, Ritzy gave a deep sigh and patted himself down, noting the more than cosmetic changes…
"So much for my power over weak Male minds…" Ritzy muttered darkly as he patted the hard-muscled flatness of bulging pectoral muscle, rather than the more feminine sort of bulging chest endowments he'd had only a few minutes ago.
A choked-off sob brought Ritzy back to reality. Looking around Ritzy saw that that Mayi had slumped into a chair, tears streaming down his young face.
"…Hey, hey now," Ritzy said quietly as he went to comfort his protégé, "It's all right… It's only a sex change… It won't be permanent, just long enough for the Fan Fiction Writer to see if he wants to continue with this sort of story type…"
"Sempai," Mayi sobbed, "It's not that… it's just…"
"Just?" Ritzy gently prompted, reaching out to hug Mayi.
"I've never been 'with' a Man," Mayi sobbed, "Let alone know how to BE a Man…"
Ritzy paused as he considered what he could say that would help his workmate.
"It's no big deal," Ritzy finally continued, "If you want, I can give you some pointers on how to act like a real Man…"
"…please…" Mayi replied in a small voice.
"First off," Ritzy said as he slipped into 'Lecture Mode', "Men are ruled by their Gonads and Hormone Levels, even MORE so than Women are…"
Mayi turned pink.
"PMS or Pre Menstrual Stress," Ritzy continued, "…is just a temporary condition and is not exactly analogous to CTO, or Constant Testosterone Overload. ALL men suffer from CTO sometime in their lives, and while most only have it for a decade or two after puberty starts, SOME men suffer it for the rest of their lives."
Mayi blinked.
"While PMS may provoke a woman to rip the head off some arrogant jerk who's proven he needs removing from the Gene Pool, CTO appears to be a sort of 'Fail Safe' method employed by Nature to automatically remove defective Males from the Gene Pool, without the need for direct Female involvement…"
Mayi began to look worried.
"Usually," Ritzy droned on, "…such Auto-Removal involves neural uninhibitors such as Alcohol… Regardless, the 'exit mechanisms' of guns, explosives, power tools, fast cars, large carnivorous wild animals, inanimate objects, or dangerous pastimes involving blatant violation of the laws of physics, are merely means by which statisticians keep themselves from getting bored."
"Sempai!" wailed Mayi, "How do I know if I've got CTO or not?"
Ritzy sighed and placed comforting hands on Mayi's shoulders, "I DON'T think you have to worry about that… Since we both appear to have had our intelligence levels cross over intact, I'd say that these bodies either DON'T have CTO, or else have CTO in acceptably low levels… However, there IS a standard test that can be conducted to test for it…"
"What?" asked Mayi, not entirely relieved.
"Mayi," Ritzy said quietly, "Like many other Japanese women, did you ever enjoy Yaoi or June (both are terms for Male-Male Romance) Doujinshi or Anime when you were still fully female?"
"…ah… well," Mayi blushed deeply, "…sure… Doesn't everyone?"
"And now," Ritzy asked softly, "Do you think you'd still enjoy them?"
Mayi's blush got even worse, but she still nodded.
"Well then," Ritzy beamed, "Things should work out fine! We'll take a break and I can fill you in while I show you how to take care of Male hygiene needs…"
Reassured, Mayi followed his blonde mentor from the Computer Room, in the general direction of the Medical labs…
"By the way," Ritzy asked as they rounded a corner and were lost to sight, "How do I look as a Man?"
A shy giggle was the only reply heard…
- - - - - - - - - -
"Phew," said the Fan Fiction Writer, taking a much-needed break from the convoluted Gender-Bias scenarios he'd just been crafting.
"It's a good thing I asked Ritzy for help with the Plotting and Technical aspects," the F.F.W. decided, "If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to pull it all off… H--L, I didn't even KNOW about that CTO thing! Good thing **I** don't appear to suffer excessively from it at any rate…"
"Even so…" the F.F.W. considered uneasily, "I still have this nagging feeling that I've left something out of the stories, or missed a bit somewhere…"
"Oh yeah! The Other Main characters!…
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Everyone was amazed that Kowmoo Nogreeze seemed NO DIFFERENT WHATSOEVER… Until the shower scene where it became apparent that since he was 'androgynous' in the Original Anime, he'd been 'gender reversed' into an 'Hermaphrodite'…
…And YES, there IS a subtle difference between modern usage of the two terms…
While in the original TV series you never 'saw anything', even in the 'Shower Scenes'… This time *Cough* *Cough* you couldn't help but notice that Kowmoo had the 'full set', for both Male AND Female…
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Cagey Rogue had one H--L of a shock, mainly because he was in the middle of a 'Romantic Liaison' at the time of the change… …And since it was a 'Foursome'…
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The membership of STEELY got what Glando was afraid HE was going to get, only even more so… VERY MUCH MORE SO and **FAR MORE** 'excruciatingly'…
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No comment will be made AT ALL about the various Military personnel shown in the series… ESPECIALLY not the Navy crews seen in earlier episodes…
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The two male Bridge Bunnies, Moccona Hoover and Uhoh Surfsup became overnight 'AV' stars from their series of extremely lucrative 'Aerobics Videos'…
Fan Fiction Writer note, at least, 'Aerobics Videos' are the translation the 'Dynamic Dudettes' gave ME when I asked what 'AV' meant… The facts that the two looked extremely embarrassed, and their videos could only be bought/rented by those over 18, were explained away with the comments of 'High Impact Aerobics', and 'Legal Waivers in case of Cardiac Arrest'…
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