Fragmented Lives The Parody Pieces Chapter 12: 11 Naming Names, an evangelion fanfic

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Fragmented Lives (The Parody)

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"Fragmented Lives (THE PARODY)" is Copyright (c) 2002 by DBM. This work is an Amateur, Non-Commercial work by an Anime/Manga Fan. This work was created in the Spirit of the Copyright Exemptions regarding Parodies and Satire.

If you like my work, you may keep a copy for your own personal records, but you may NOT post it on any websites/newsgroups, NOR may you include it in any printed publication for sale/public distribution. If printing out a copy for yourself or a friend, you may reformat it (paragraph spacing, page-breaks, font and font size, borders, bold/italic, etc) to fit the paper you use, but please do not change any of the actual words or wording in the document.

Sole web-posting at FanFiction.Net - Author's E-Mail address on File.

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Censorship Info and Disclaimer.

NOT Recommended for Children.

Intended for MATURE Audiences.

There are NO 'sex scenes', but, just like the original NGE series, the story will explore the results and side effects of such activities. Along the way, there'll be swearing, violence, drugs, Adult situations, and frank discussions of sex education/family planning information, as well as thoughts and opinions on the morals and ethics of sexual assault, dating, courtship, marriage, alternate sexualities, pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, Family Values, etc.

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Fandom Alerts and Disclaimer.

AU Alert (Alternate Universe).

OOC Alert (Out Of Character).

ACC Alert (Author Created Character).

SI Alert (Self Insert - Author appears in the story as a character).

SPOILER Alert (May 'spoil' surprises in the Manga and Anime TV/Movies).

' ' denotes thoughts.

" " denotes speech

denotes other method of communication.

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Fragment – Naming Names…

Mazurka closed her eyes and stretched back in her office chair, trying to work out some of the kinks in her spine. A muffled noise and a feeling of something slipping back where it should be, came from the neighbourhood of her backbone. Feeling some relief, Mazurka reassumed her normal position and opened her eyes.

…And nearly jumped out of her skin when she realised that a Rave Clone was sitting quietly on the other side of the desk…

'How'd she get in here?' Mazurka wondered, her eyes flicking over to the shut door of her office, 'I didn't hear her come in?'

"What's up?" Mazurka covered her surprised reaction by taking the initiative.

"We want names," the Clone replied.

"Ah?" Mazurka lost the plot completely, "Names?"

"Yes," confirmed the Clone, "We have decided that we want names of our own…"

Mazurka closed her eyes and sighed, her Feminine Intuition prompting the thought of 'Why do I have the feeling that this isn't going to be easy?'

Mazurka decided to get things completely straight in her mind, "You want names of your own, names OTHER than 'Rave Imanonymous'? Names OTHER than the characters you're impersonating?"

"Correct," the Clone replied in sombre tones that made Mazurka wince, "We would like your opinion on these…"

Whereupon the Clone handed over small folder. Mazurka took the folder and opened it, arching an eyebrow slightly as she read the contents.

"Hmmm," Mazurka thoughtfully considered as she leafed through the folder, "Seems rather heavy on -ko suffix 'Namae'? (Given, Personal or Christian names) What about Myoji? (Surname, Family or Clan names)"

The Clone tilted her head slightly, "We decided to only address the issue of 'Namae' at this time. That is why all of the names in the folder end in -ko, since we are… female…"

"Ah!" the light dawned on Mazurka, "So you'll all have a name that defines each of you as female children, daughters?"

"Yes," the Clone nodded, "That and the fact that -ko names are so common in Japan, that it is almost a Cultural Stereotype expected of us by Foreigners…"

'Cultural Stereotype?' Mazurka suddenly paused, a worried look on her face, "Um… I… don't think you should let the expectations of others pressure you on something as important as Self-Determination! You DON'T have to conform to another person's misguided Cultural Assumptions regarding names!"

"We are not being pressured," the Clone smiled in obvious amusement, "Rather, we are taking advantage of the fact that there ARE so many Japanese with -ko names. A -ko name will blend in, and allow us greater freedom of movement among those around us."

Mazurka nodded her head as she thought over the Clones statement, 'Good point! With names that SOUND ordinary, they'll certainly seem less outlandish, especially if they're in full disguise… Still…'

"Rave…" Mazurka chose her words carefully, "Choosing names for yourselves is all well and good… But…" Mazurka paused, then forged ahead, "Any psychiatrist will tell you, that a name can greatly affect a person's life! It can be a source of inspiration, but also a source of ridicule is the name isn't… appropriate…"

"We had considered that," the Clone murmured, "Which is why we decided on -ko names. Not only does it help define us as female children, daughters, PEOPLE… But it also acts as a shield for what our names will really mean to us…"

Noting Mazurka's puzzled look, the Clone continued, "Look at the Kanji symbols we have decided to use for the base words of our names…"

Mazurka turned her attention to the neat list of names and blinked in surprise. Beside the list of names in Hiragana (Japanese Phonetic Alphabet Cursive script) were numerous Kanji (Chinese characters) that Mazurka had breezed over before. Now that Mazurka's attention was directed on them, she noticed that…

"The Kanji!?" Mazurka exclaimed with a look of pleased wonderment on her face, "You've put them next to the -ko names according to how their 'On' (Chinese language) and 'Kun' (Japanese language) readings sound!"

"Yes," the Clone said with a note of pride in her voice, "And we have based what -ko names we will use, on how relevant the different readings are to our lives and interests. It will be… our OWN secret code… similar to the secret code embodied in the giving of flowers…"

"Very good!" Mazurka said approvingly, "So when will you start using them?"

The Clone suddenly seemed quieter, her eyes leaving Mazurka's face, "We… are not sure of the proper procedure for… taking names for ourselves… We have no parents or family to give them to us…"

Mazurka was about to comment when some soft words from the Clone stopped her.

"…and the only friends we have, are Shakey and you…" the Clone murmured, her cheeks slightly pink and eyes downcast.

Mazurka took time to digest what she'd just heard, her own suppressed Maternal Instincts rising up within her.

"Well," Mazurka said quietly, "There are… standard… ways in which people get their names… From parents… family… friends… But if you ask me… I think that you should empower yourself by making a new tradition…"

Puzzled, the Clone looked at Mazurka, only to recoil slightly as she saw the Feral Grin on Mazurka's face…"

"**THIS**" said Mazurka's happily beaming face, "Is what I think we should do…"

- - - - - - - - - -

Several nights later, all of the Clones assembled in a clearing, somewhere in the subterranean forest that surrounded the NERVIS Base main HQ.

A bonfire crackled in the midst of the hidden glade, sending sparks soaring upwards on thermal currents. It cast dancing shadows over those standing in a crescent beneath the sheltering boughs of the forest. Far overhead, the lights on the giant dome that concealed the underground NERVIS Base made an ersatz star field, only partially obscured by the clouds of condensation that regularly occurred as part of the miniature enclosed weather cycle of the dome.

In addition to 137 Clones, there were two others present. Mazurka Kutsarug and Shakey Atari sat on a rug on the ground. Mazurka sat Japanese fashion, dressed in a traditional Japanese Kimono with her hair done up nicely. Shakey sat beside her, dressed in traditional Japanese male attire, and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the occasion. The Rave Clones all stood in silent ranks, garbed in hooded dark grey robes that would look more at place in a Medieval Monastery, than a Hi-Tech Secret Base.

One of the Clones walked out in front of the assemblage, her dark robes concealing every thing about her. She stopped in front of the bonfire and turned around, pale hands rising to lift the hood away from her face. The familiar blue locks of the Rave Clones framed the face of Rave#3. She began to speak, in a voice that carried in the quiet night air.

"Once,

We lived in the darkness,

Awaiting our turn in the light,

All we knew of life,

Came from those before us,

Those who were us,

Those we were meant to be…"

"Onesan" (elder sister/s) sighed the voices of the assembled Clones.

"Later,

We lived in the light,

Through Death and Pain,

We wore another's life,

Mere numbered versions,

We had nothing of our own,

No true proof of Self Existence,

Nor any hope of same,

Until,

The gift of Flowers,

From Family and Friend…"

The voice of Rave#3 rose as her hands produced a scroll from the folds of her robes, "These are the names, we the nameless take for ourselves… This is the proof, that we are as alive as others are… That we are more than… nothing…"

Shakey felt several strong emotions as he heard the words, remembering a time when he'd told Rave#3 to never say that that she was '…nothing…'

Rave#3's next words sent a sudden chill through Shakey…

"These are the names, we choose for those who cannot take names for themselves…"

"Ichiko, the first daughter…" (一子means first child/daughter)

"Niko, the second daughter…" (二子 means second child or Twin, and 'smile')

"Shiroko, the other daughters in Death's white castle…" (白子 particular symbols mean 'albino')

Shakey shivered at the Clone's naming of the unnamed dead, rather than the dark pun in 'Shiroko'. (Shi = 四four, 死death, Shiro = 城castle, 白white/innocence)

Rave#3 continued, "These are the names, that we who bear the memories of our elder sisters, take for ourselves…"

Rave#3 paused then spoke loudly, "I, the third daughter, take the name of Aneko…" (姉子 is a dialect version of saying 'elder sister', and a real name)

From elsewhere in the crescent a voice lifted up, "I, the fifth daughter, take the name of Itsuko…" (五子 fifth daughter)

Surprised, Shakey looked in the direction of the voice, just in time to see a disguised Clone finish removing her hood.

"I, the sixth daughter, take the name of Muttsuko…" (六子 sixth daughter) The voice came from elsewhere in the crescent.

"I, the seventh daughter, take the name of Nanako…" (七子 seventh daughter)

"I, the eighth daughter, take the name of Hachiko…" (八子 eighth daughter)

"I, the ninth daughter, take the name of Kyuko…" (九子 ninth daughter)

Shakey was taken aback, '…are they all going to have numbers as part of their names?' he wondered.

The next names did nothing to reassure Shakey, although they did startle him.

"I, the tenth daughter, take the name of Ten…" (Pun on number 10)

"I, the eleventh daughter, take the name of Levin…" (Pun on number 11)

Shakey blinked, 'Is that even a real name?'

The sounding of the next voice right beside him, jolted Shakey back to reality.

"I, the Twelfth daughter, take the name of Twelve…" (Pun on number 12)

Shakey looked up to see a Clone beside him remove her hood. She turned her head to smile at Shakey and wink blatantly at him. Abashed, Shakey looked away. Mazurka, who had seen the event out of the corner of her eye, just smiled…

"I, the thirteenth daughter, take the name of Hanako…" (花 Hana = Flower)

Unexpectedly, Rave#3, err… Aneko#3 began to speak more disjointed prose that was based on a train of consciousness from the point of view of the Clones.

Of source we're neither,

Town nor country born,

Born in the dark,

Underground,

Pure and quiet,

We stood in line,

Warehoused goods,

Awaiting Adoption…

014 本子 Motoko *source

015 町子 Machiko (symbols mean 'town born')

016 邦子 Kuniko (symbols mean 'country born')

017 形子 Nariko *form, figure, appearance

018 杳子 Youko *darkness, indistinctness

019 地下子 Chikako *area underground

020 淳子 Junko *pure

021 凪子 Nagiko *lull, calm

022 立子 Tatsuko *verb to stand, leave/depart from, begin life

023 蔵子 Kurako *storehouse, warehouse

024 里子 Satoko (symbols = foster child) *village, birthplace

Dreaming another's memories,

Now we know for ourselves,

The world's eternal cycles,

The sun, moon, and stars,

Wheel across the sky,

Dawn through Dusk…

025 夢子 Yumeko *dream

026 今子 Imako *now, present time

027 丸子 Maruko *circle/ring, perfection/purity

028 日子 Hiko *sun

029 月子 Tsukiko *moon

030 星子 Hoshiko *star

031 旭子Asahiko *morning sun, rising sun

032 夕子 Yuuko *evening

Winds,

In skies above,

They push the clouds,

And make the storms,

Thunder, lightening,

Hail and rain,

Finally,

Clear skies,

And Rainbows…

033 風子 Fuuko *wind, appearance, way or manner

034 風子 Kazeko *wind, breeze

035 颪子 Oroshiko *wind from mountains

036 空子 Sorako *sky, but really a Pun on 'Sirocco' the desert wind.

037 天子 Tenko *sky, heavens, God, Fate, Destiny

038 雲子 Kumoko *cloud

039 嵐子 Ranko *storm, tempest

040 雷子 Raiko *thunder

041 霰子 Senko *hail

042 雨子 Amako *Rain

043 照子 Teruko *verb to shine, sunshine, fine weather

044 虹子 Nijiko *rainbow

Water from above,

Collects in puddles,

It merges into lakes,

Then streams into rivers,

Splashing over waterfalls,

It makes its way to the sea…

045 水子 Mizuko *water

046 池子 Ikeko *pond

047 湖子 Koko *lake

048 川子 Kawako *river

049 滝子 Takiko *waterfall

050 海子 Umiko *sea, ocean

In the endless oceans,

Salt water does not rest,

It fights against the confines,

Of the riverbanks and beaches,

The endless rippling waves,

Wear away the dry land,

Capes become Islands,

Islands become rocks,

Rocks become pebbles,

Pebbles become sand,

Water will not stay,

It rises in mist and fog,

And leaves the world below,

Ascending to become the mother clouds…

051 沖子 Okiko *open sea

052 潮子 Shioko *salt, ocean tide, sea water

053 汀子 Teiko *shore, waters edge

054 岸子 Kishiko *riverbank, shore, coast

055 浜子 Hamako *beach, seashore

056 磯子 Isoko *seashore, beach

057 浪子 Namiko *waves

058 陸子 Rikuko *dry land

059 崎子 Sakiko *cape, promontory, spit

060 島子 Shimako *island

061 岩子 Iwako *very large rock

062 石子 Ishiko *stone, rock, pebble

063 砂子 Sunako *sand

064 霧子 Kiriko *fog, mist, spray

065靄子 Moyako *mist, haze, fog

Autumn,

Changing colours,

The Falling leaves,

Bare tree branches,

Winter is coming,

Once again…

066 秋子 Akiko *autumn

067 彩子 Saiko *makeup, colour paint

068 染子 Someko *dye, colour, paint

069 紅葉子 Koyoko *fall colours, autumn leaves

070 枝子 Edako *tree branch

Winter,

It is cold,

A Full Moon,

Casts Shadows,

The snow falls,

And turns to ice,

Breath turns to frost,

Water drips into icicles,

The world is frozen,

We see its beauty,

Beneath Willows,

Cranes dance…

071 冬子 Fuyuko *winter, wintry

072 冴子 Saeko *Sa(eru) be cold, be clear, clear, be serene, be skilful

073 望子 Mochiko *full moon

074 影子 Kageko *shadow, reflection, silhouette

075 雪子 Yukiko *snow

076 氷子 Koriko *ice

077 霜子 Shimoko *frost

078 水子 Suiko *ice water

079 見子 Miruko *to see, watch

080 柳子 Ryuuko *willow

081 鶴子 Tsuruko *stork

Spring,

Seeds in the soil awake,

Greenness sprouts all around,

Flowers bloom a promise,

Of future generations…

082 春子 Haruko *spring

083 種子 Taneko *seed, stone of a fruit

084 実子 Miko *seed, fruit, nut, berry

085 土子 Tsuchiko *earth, soil, the ground

086 緑子 Midoriko *green, verdure

087 萌子 Moeko *sprout

088 撫子 Nadeshiko *flower with pink petals

089 葵子 Aoiko *hollyhock flower

090 菊子 Kikuko *chrysanthemum

091 菖子 Shouko *iris

092 藤子 Fujiko *wisteria

093 百合子 Yuriko *lily

094 芙子 Hasuko *water lily

095 蓮子 Renko *lotus

096 茉莉子Mariko *jasmine flower

097 莉子 Riko *jasmine

098 菫子Kinko *violet flower, and also the colour

099 薔薇子 Barako *rose

100 咲子 Sakuko *verb to bloom, blossom

Summer,

Warm and Humid,

In the forests,

Birds fly freely,

On feathered wing,

From tree to tree…

101 夏子 Natsuko *summer

102 森子 Moriko *woods, forest, grove

103 林子 Rinko *forest

104 鳥子 Toriko *bird

105 鷹子 Takako *hawk

106 鷲子 Shuuko *eagle

107 羽子 Haneko *feather

108 木子 Kiko *tree, wood, lumber

109 幹子 Mikiko *tree trunk

110 杉子 Sugiko *Japanese cedar, spruce

111 椎子 Shiiko *oak tree

112 松子 Matsuko *pine tree

Going to,

Others' homes,

We truly learn,

What it is to live,

Words cannot express,

The inner soul within,

To see our very hearts,

We must use mirrors,

That Humans made,

Literature,

Sculpture,

Jewellery,

Fashion,

Theatre,

Poetry,

Music,

Dance,

Song,

Art…

113 行子 Ikuko *verb to go

114 内子 Uchiko *inside, home, house, mind, myself

115 家子 Ieko *household, home, family,

116 文子 Fumiko *letter, note

117 紙子 Kamiko *paper

118 筆子 Fudeko *writing brush, picture brush

119 金子 Kanako *Gold

120 銀子 Ginko *Silver

121 綾子Ayako *design, figured cloth, twill

122 歌子 Utako *poetry, ballad, singing

123 笛子 Tekiko *flute

124 琴子 Kotoko *Japanese harp

125 鉦子 Seiko *gong, chimes

126 耐子 Taiko (pun on Taiko, 'drum') *enduring, brave, equal

127 絵子 Eko *picture, sketch, painting

Emotions,

Friendship,

Defining them,

Is not an easy thing,

Even less to understand,

Often fierce and violent,

They are not logical,

Nor mathematical,

Growing within,

Uncontrollable,

Unpredictable,

Living things,

Urging Smiles,

And Laughter,

Happiness,

Affection,

Sadness,

Tears,

Love…

128 友子 Tomoko *friend, companion

129 知子 Chiko *knowledge, wisdom

130 荒子 Arako *rough, rude, violent, fierce

131 数子 Kazuko *number

132 渥子 Akuko *kindness

133 笑子 Emiko *smile

134 篤子 Atsuko *kind, affectionate

135 悦子 Etsuko *joy, rapture, ecstasy

136 幸仔 Sachiko *happiness, blessing

137 露子 Tsuyuko *tears, dew, dewdrops

138 愛子 Aiko *love, favourite

We know a world,

We never knew before,

The warm day's sunny haze,

The star-dappled night skies,

The crisp air of the snowfield,

The green heart of the forest,

The grassland's soft caress,

The ocean's salty taste,

The winds' caress,

The waves' pulse…

The Clones all bowed their heads, and for a few moments nothing was said…

Then Aneko#3's voice raised itself up again…

Choices,

Decisions,

Threads weaving,

On the loom of fate,

Silkworms spin cocoons,

Striving for another life,

Silk comes from sacrifice,

New life from mercy's hand,

Which should we now weave,

In our Life's Tapestry…

139 糸子 Itoko *thread

140 機子 Hatako *loom

141 蚕子 Kaiko *silkworm

142 繭子 Mayuko *cocoon

143 巻子 Makiko *roll of silk, volume, book

144 紅子 Momiko *red silk cloth

145 絹子 Kinuko *silk

An enclosed garden,

A corner of the world,

Where green life grows,

Amid blooming flowers,

Ants and butterflies,

Travel grassy fields,

If you take the path,

By the wishing well,

Over the bridge,

Past the spring.

You will find,

Our orchards,

Mulberries,

Mandarins,

Apricots,

Cherries,

Peaches,

Plums…

146 園子 Sonoko *garden, park

147 角子 Sumiko *Corner, nook

148 中子 Nakako *inside, within

149 蟻子 Ariko *ant

150 蝶子 Chouko *butterfly

151 芝子Shibako *grass

152 道子 Michiko *street, path, righteous way

153 井子Iko *well (water type)

154 泉子Izumiko *spring/fountain of water

155 桑子 Kuwako *mulberry

156 橘子 Kitsuko *mandarin (or orange)

157 杏子 Anzuko *apricot

158 桜子 Sakurako *cherry (pink cherry blossom)

159 桃子 Momoko *peach

160楳子 Umeko *plum

…Eventually, all of the Clones had named themselves and removed their hoods, revealing their smiling faces…

Aneko#3 walked over to Shakey, all of the other Clones turning to watch her. Shakey became nervous on finding himself the centre of so much attention.

Aneko#3 stopped in front of Shakey. She dropped her gaze, saying quietly, "Musuko (son 息子) of she who gave us life… Itoko (elder male cousin いとこ or 従兄弟) of our hearts… Our only Onisan… (Honourable elder brother お兄さん) Do you accept our names as you have accepted us?"

"H-Hai (Yes)" Shakey heard his voice say the only response he felt sure of.

"Arigato Gozaimashita," sighed the Clones in unison (Thank you very much)…

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OMAKE – Naming Names…#1

"What's up?" Mazurka covered her surprised reaction by taking the initiative.

"We want names," the Clone replied.

"Ah?" Mazurka lost the plot completely, "Names?"

"Yes," confirmed the Clone, "We have decided that it is high time we started dating and we need names for our 'Little Black Books'…"

Mazurka blinked, "What's that got to do with me? You've already got Shakey, Kantsee and Toe-Jam available for dates, so…"

"Mazurka," sighed the Clone, "There are 137 of us and only *3* of them… However you do the math, the 'Hunk' ratio is woefully inadequate! (Regardless of how you define 'Hunk') Besides, Hickory is the Possessive type, let alone Aesir! Then there's the fact that poor Shakey has more than enough trouble just having Platonic Relationships with all of us…"

"Um, well," Mazurka considered the Clone's comment, "But what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Your Little Black book should help us to…" the Clone started.

"WHAT!?" screamed an outraged Mazurka, "That's going TOO far! I can't allow the Fan Fiction Writer to let sweet young girls like you date guys MY age! The Lecherous Jerks would take advantage of you in an instant!"

"Mazurka," said the Clone, rolling her eyes in exasperation, "Who said anything about guys YOUR age? I mean, SOME of them must have younger brothers, Right? Nephews or cousins perhaps?"

"Ah… well… perhaps," Mazurka flustered…

"Unless," the Clone said with a raised eyebrow, "You were wanting to keep the 'toy-boys' all to yourself? Hmmm?"

Mazurka blushed…

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OMAKE – Naming Names…#2

"What's up?" Mazurka covered her surprised reaction by taking the initiative.

"We want names," the Clone replied.

"Ah?" Mazurka lost the plot completely, "Names?"

"Yes," confirmed the Clone, "We have decided that we want names of our own…"

Mazurka closed her eyes and sighed, her Feminine Intuition prompting the thought of 'Why do I have the feeling that this isn't going to be easy?'

Mazurka decided to get things completely straight in her mind, "You want names of your own, names OTHER than 'Rave Imanonymous'? Names OTHER than the characters you're impersonating?"

"Correct," the Clone replied in sombre tones that made Mazurka wince, "We would like your opinion on these…"

Whereupon the Clone handed over small folder. Mazurka took the folder and opened it, arching an eyebrow slightly as she read the contents.

"Hmmm," Mazurka thoughtfully considered as she leafed through the folder, "Seems rather heavy on -ko suffix 'Namae'? (Given, Personal or Christian names) What about… Huh? What the!?"

Mazurka's eyes suddenly widened in shocked surprise, and she brought the pages closer to her face, staring at them with an incredulous look on her face.

"Rave!?" Mazurka demanded, "These names? How did you come up with this list?"

"We didn't" sighed the Clone, "The Fan Fiction Writer sat down with a Japanese-English dictionary, and the notion that if he put -ko suffixes on the end of enough words, he would be able to make names for all of us…"

**THUNK** Mazurka's forehead hit the table in front of her with a meaty thud as she collapsed in disbelief.

"Mazurka?" asked the worried Clone, "Are you all right?"

"No…" Mazurka groaned, much to the Clone's consternation, "I'm not… I'm gonna need about a gallon of alcohol to get through this one…"

"Mondai Arimasen (No Problem)" said the Clone, "The 'still' we built has finally started producing alcohol."

"You did? It has?" Mazurka asked, hope in her face, "What are you using in it? Sugar? Starch? Potatoes? Peels?"

"No, those yellow-capped mushrooms Cagey was growing in his Watermelon patch…"

Mazurka blanched, 'Damned if I do and Damned if I don't…'

Sometime later, after ingesting an appropriate amount of the Clones' Mushroom enhanced Moonshine (and surviving the worst of the after effects), Mazurka went and paid a 'Little Visit' to the Fan Fiction Writer.

"Come on in," the Fan Fiction writer carolled, "It's not locked…"

The door to the Fan Fiction Writer's room creaked open and a woebegone looking Mazurka strode in. She grabbed the Fan Fiction Writer by the scruff of his throat, and plopped him down into a chair and growled at him, "We… NEED… to talk…"

The Fan Fiction Writer started to sweat, "Uh… Sure! What about?"

"About the… names… you were going to give the Clones…"

"Oh No!" the Fan Fiction Writer wailed disconsolately, "Don't they like them? I admit some of them may be a tad on the 'tree-hugging-hippy-mentality' side of things, but…"

"LISTEN!" Mazurka demanded, cutting off the Fan Fiction Writer in mid-sentence, "Just because we Japanese have a strong streak of nature-appreciation in us, doesn't mean that EVERY word can combine with -ko to make a girl's name!"

"It doesn't?"

"NO!" Mazurka insisted, "In fact, there are words… ending in -ko… that Japanese do NOT use in 'polite' conversation, let alone as NAMES!"

"Um…"

"I know," Mazurka sighed wearily, "That you're an Australian… (From Ipswich, 'One-Nation Central' for crying out loud) who's TRYING his best to understand Japanese Culture, but… You NEED a little help…"

Mazurka fumbled with her coat pockets and dropped some books off on the Fan Fiction Writer's desk.

"Read these," Mazurka ordered, "Especially the book, 'Japanese Names – A Comprehensive Index by Characters and Readings' by P.G. O'Neill (Published by Weatherhill, INC. in New York/Tokyo, ISBN 0-8348-0225-2) **IT** lists names actually used by Japanese people, along with the Kanji used for them…"

"ORRIGHT!!" enthused the Fan Fiction Writer, as he eagerly started reading.

"**AND**," Mazurka continued, "Take a GOOD LOOK at the other two books, 'Using Japanese Slang – A Comprehensive Guide' by Anne Kasschau and Susumu Eguchi (Published by YENBOOKS in Japan, ISBN 4-900737-36-4), and 'Japanese Street Slang' by Peter Constantine (Published by Tengu Books in New York/Tokyo, ISBN 0-8348-0250-3) **BOTH** will GREATLY INFORM you!"

"Err…" said the Fan Fiction Writer, an uneasy feeling growing inside him.

Mazurka rubbed her aching temples and muttered darkly, "I'll send one of the Girls around with a copy of 'The New Nelson Japanese-English Character Dictionary' (Published by 'Charles E Tuttle Publishing' ISBN 0-8048-2036-8) in a day or two to help you out… READ the others by then!"

"…okay…" agreed a thoroughly cowed Fan Fiction Writer.

Some days later, a knock sounded at the Fan Fiction Writer's door. Hesitantly, he opened it to reveal a Rave Clone, equipped with a carry bag.

"The dictionary?" asked the Fan Fiction Writer nervously.

The Clone nodded.

"…thanks…" mumbled the Fan Fiction Writer.

"Have you read the books Mazurka gave you?" the Clone asked softly.

"Ah… well… yeah…" the Fan Fiction Writer blushed, "How was **I** to know? You Japanese are so Polite that everyone thinks you **DON'T** have any slang, let alone swear words! Or words that are the equivalent of calling a Western male 'Lance', 'Dick', 'Willy', or 'Rod'… Or a woman, 'Fanny' or 'Pussy'…"

"…now you know…" the Clone murmured.

"…yeah…" the Fan Fiction Writer agreed with an embarrassed sigh.

For a few moments, nothing was said, then the Fan Fiction Writer silently handed a wrapped parcel to the Clone.

"What is this?" the Clone enquired.

"Well," drawled the Fan Fiction Writer, a smug look stealing over his face, since you were so kind as to loan us these books on your Culture, I thought I'd return the favour… That little lot contains the 1997 edition of 'The Dinkum Dictionary – A Ripper Guide to Aussie English' by Lenie (Midge) Johansen (This edition published by Claremont Books, Australia, ISBN 1-85471-920-3)"

The Clone blushed, "Ah-Arigato…"

"No worries!" smiled the F.F.W., "Just tell Mazurka to have a good read of it sometime, as it might improve her vocabulary when she's out drinking. I mean, another 17,000 phrases couldn't hurt, could it?"

The Clone began to sweat…

**********************************************************************

OMAKE – Naming Names…#3

Aneko#3 walked over to Shakey, all of the other Clones turning to watch her. Shakey became nervous on finding himself the centre of so much attention.

"H-Hai (Yes)" Shakey heard his voice say the only response he felt sure of.

"Arigato Gozaimashita," sighed the Clones in unison (Thank you very much)…

"RIGHT!" said Mazurka, ripping her kimono away to reveal a 'nightclubbing' outfit, "Grab yer fake ID's Girls, it's HUNK-Hunting Time!"

Shakey blinked as all of the Clones tore away their billowing dark robes to reveal a variety of 'nightclubbing' outfits.

"Um…?" said Shakey, his 'Vague Sense of Impending Doom' screaming at him to follow its lead and get the H--L out of there, Right D--N Now!

"Don't worry Shakey," a voice whispered in his ear, "We'll get you home safely…"

Shakey turned in the direction of the voice. There standing beside him were three Clones, one with blue hair, one with blond hair, and one with red hair, all three in fashionable outfits.

"Ah… Um," Shakey stumbled as he tried to place faces to their new names.

"I'm Ten," the blonde said.

"I'm Levin," the redhead said.

"I'm Twelve," the blue-haired one said, "And we're your bodyguards for tonight."

So it was, that Shakey was escorted home by not one, but three lovely ladies…

"So why did you choose those names and not -ko names?" Shakey asked by way of making conversation and breaking the ice.

"Because we three are far more like each other than any of the others are," The blonde Ten#10 answered.

"Really?" said Shakey, feeling vaguely uneasy for some reason, "How so?"

"Well," the redheaded Levin#11 replied, "Our temperament for one thing, then there are our hobbies and leisure time interests."

Shakey's uneasy feeling had grown, but he shook it off as best he could by asking the obvious question, "Oh? What hobbies and leisure time interests?"

"Guess," said Twelve, as she took Shakey's arm in a romantic clinch…

Shakey suddenly realised that one of the three 'more like each other than any of the others are' Clones, was the Clone known by name and number as 'Twelve'…

Although Shakey ran as hard as he could, he couldn't run fast enough…

'Heh, Heh!' thought Ten, Levin and Twelve as they 'guarded' Shakey, 'While the others take care of the celebrating, we'll keep an eye on Shakey…'

**********************************************************************

Final Notes, Most Internet browsers come with Asian font support in them these days, so I'm hoping you can see the Asian characters (Kanji & Kana).

The original document used two different fonts for the text, 'Courier New' font size 10 for the English text, and Microsoft 'Mincho' font size 10 font for the Asian text.

MS Mincho really needs to be AT LEAST font size 12 to get the benefit from the 'inked calligraphy' style of the characters. IF printing, you may have to either increase the size of the Asian characters, or set your printer onto the 'Highest Quality' setting. I know that my printer doesn't print some of the more complex Asian characters if it's not set on 'High'.

As for the characters themselves, you should be able to cut & paste if you have a 'Unicode' font on your computer that handles Asian characters. Some of these fonts are called 'Arial Unicode', 'Batang', 'GulimChe', 'Mincho', 'Hei', 'Song', 'SimSun', 'MingLie' or 'Pmingliu'.

What Myoji (Surname, Clan or Family name) would the Clones take for themselves? By that, I mean, a Family name for their own 'personal' use, rather than Imanonymous or Atari, or for one of their disguises.

How about Ainoko (あいのこ)?

Various Kanji characters can be used, such as 愛の子 (Love's Child), or 藍の子 (Indigo's Child). However, I prefer the more controversial Kanji of either 合の子or間の子. These last two examples both mean the same thing, that of 'crossbreed', 'hybrid', 'mulatto', or 'Eurasian'.

While the last examples may NOT be the most polite thing to say depending on the social situation, the Clones are entitled to use it, in exactly the same way modern Afro-Americans use the 'N' word to 'empower' themselves…

I tried to use only genuine Japanese –ko names, but many of the ones I used have Kanji with different meanings to the traditional ones (Those that HAVE traditional Kanji, and not just Kana - phonetic alphabet). I have relied heavily on the ENAMDICT Japanese Names Dictionary available on Jim Breen's web site, both for acceptability of several names, and for the Kanji involved.

…As for the few –ko names I made up from putting –ko after a word…

The problem is that there are many 'homonyms' in the Japanese language (words that sound the same), even if they mean completely different things. It gets worse when you're a Foreigner with an untrained ear, who doesn't understand that a long vowel or stressed consonant in a word, can change its meaning entirely.

As far as I know, NONE of the -ko names I use in this document for the Clones' names are 'slang', let alone 'obscene'… However, regardless of my best efforts, I may have made mistakes. But, even if I haven't, perfectly 'acceptable' words can become slang overnight. All it takes is one witty off-colour joke…

…That's why I did more names than I needed… Backups, just in case…

Example? Look at the English word 'Gay', and ask yourself this, do you know any Western women named 'Gaye'? No? Well what about Western men named 'Rod', 'Dick', or 'Willy'?

For your information, a few –ko names to either avoid, or handle with care are…

Asoko, means 'over there', slang uses it for private parts 'down under'.

Hako, proper word meaning 'box', but slang uses it for Female genitalia…

Inoko, based off the word for 'pig'… Why take the risk?

Inuko, based off the word for 'dog'… Why take the risk?

Manko, Meko, and Nanko, are crude slang words for Female genitalia.

Nekko, and Neko, are based off 'cat', and can mean a promiscuous woman.

Omanko, Omeko and Onanko are more polite slang for Female genitalia.

Tureko, slang turns 'Turkish steam bath' into the 'massage parlour' variety.

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