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Fragmented Lives (The Parody Pieces)
"Kiss"
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Copyright Info and Disclaimer.
"Neon Genesis Evangelion" is Copyright (c) 2003 by Gainax. All OTHER material is Copyright (c) 2003 their owners. All materials used for PARODY purposes.
"Altered Lives (The Parody)" and "Fragmented Lives (The Parody Pieces)" are Copyright (c) 2003 by DBM. This work is an Amateur, Non-Commercial work by an Anime/Manga Fan. This work was created in the Spirit of the Copyright Exemptions regarding Parodies and Satire.
If you like my work, you may keep a copy for your own personal records, but you may NOT post it on any websites/newsgroups, NOR may you include it in any printed publication for sale/public distribution. If printing out a copy for yourself or a friend, you may reformat it (paragraph spacing, page-breaks, font and font size, borders, bold/italic, etc) to fit the paper you use, but please do not change any of the actual words or wording in the document.
Sole web-posting at FanFiction.Net - Author's E-Mail address on File.
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Censorship Info and Disclaimer.
NOT Recommended for Children.
Intended for MATURE Audiences.
There are NO 'sex scenes', but, just like the original NGE series, the story will explore the results and side effects of such activities. Along the way, there'll be swearing, violence, drugs, Adult situations, and frank discussions of sex education/family planning information, as well as thoughts and opinions on the morals and ethics of sexual assault, dating, courtship, marriage, alternate sexualities, pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, Family Values, etc.
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Fandom Alerts and Disclaimer.
AU Alert (Alternate Universe).
OOC Alert (Out Of Character).
ACC Alert (Author Created Character).
SI Alert (Self Insert - Author appears in the story as a character).
SPOILER Alert (May 'spoil' surprises in the Manga and Anime TV/Movies).
' ' denotes thoughts.
" " denotes speech.
* * denotes emphasis, or electronic communication.
denotes other method of communication.
--- denotes letters deleted for censorship reasons.
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Author's Ramblings - This is something I **REALLY** had to try writing…
Whether or not it becomes 'part' of the Altered Lives Universe is beside the point - just read and have fun!
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Fragment - Charity Event.
It was the time of the School Festival, and Shakey's school class was discussing ways of raising money for the end of year school dance.
This year, it had been decided that the class would split up into teams, each team focusing on a different revenue collection method in an attempt to increase the overall 'take' for the class. The Brainstorming session on fundraising methods decided on the traditional methods…
"I'll be in charge of the kissing booth!" Aesir exclaimed, laying claim to one of the more lucrative fundraisers, "Of course, getting that close to my stunning beauty is more than you deserve," Aesir condescendingly continued, "But it's for a good cause, and I'm feeling benevolent!"
Several of the boys groaned in dismay at the news.
"Naturally," Aesir's voice grew louder as she surveyed the male malcontents around her, "Being healthy males, you'll ALL want to visit the booth…"
Her words had an ominous ring to them, mostly along the lines of 'Support MY stall, you little dweebs, if you want to REMAIN healthy…'
None of the boys dared make a squeak of dismay, let alone protest. Instead, they all hung their heads, accepting their fate.
"Uh…" Shakey uttered, "I'll be on the… cooking stall…"
Aesir 'humphed' slightly at Shakey's admission, while the various Rave Clones in the classroom merely looked thoughtful.
"I will help Shakey," the blue haired Clone being 'Rave' said.
"Oh?" Aesir said dryly, looking at Rave, "Running off to hide in the kitchen are we? Well, it's only sensible… Who'd want to kiss an 'ice cube' like you?"
Most of the boys in the class raised their eyebrows at Aesir's comment. If they had a choice between having to kiss the abrasive redhead they'd dubbed 'Ms Hellspawn', or the quiet blue-haired girl known as the 'Ice Maiden'…
The Ice Maiden turned her crimson gaze on Ms Hellspawn, "Why do you think no-one would want to kiss me?"
Aesir smiled at the unexpected 'reaction' she'd gotten out of Rave, "Well… It's only natural, isn't it? The Boys would MUCH rather kiss a REAL girl…"
"I am a real girl," Rave asserted, her cheeks going slightly pink.
"SURE you are!" scoffed Aesir.
"How many girls will be on the kissing booth?" one of the boys asked.
"Whoever wants to be on it," Hickory Harikari quickly interjected, trying to calm things down, "If a lot of people want to be on it, we'll work out a roster system. By the way, we could use a few boys on it to even things up…"
"Huh!" sneered Aesir, "What girl would pay money to kiss any of THESE Losers…"
Then Rave did the unexpected…
"May I be on it?" Rave asked.
Rave's comment stunned the class.
"What?" Aesir gasped, "You want to… to…?"
"Be on the kissing booth," Rave confirmed.
"Unless Aesir," Rave said with a humourless smile at the red-haired girl, "You are afraid that I may be more popular with the boys than you are?"
Aesir recovered almost instantly, "ME? Afraid? Of YOU?" she loudly scoffed, "No way! I'll see you there, Wonder Chick!"
Ignored by the rest of the class, Shakey Atari put his head on his desk and sighed, "I've got a baaaddd feeling about this…"
Later that evening at Mazurka's…
Mazurka wore a sly smile when she cornered Shakey in the kitchen.
"So… Shakey," Mazurka began, "I hear 'Rave' is going to be on a Kissing Booth at the Summer Festival?"
'News travels fast…' Shakey thought, continuing to prepare the evening meal. "Yeah," he confirmed, "Aesir was 'baiting' Rave about it…"
"Oh?" Mazurka asked in a nonchalant tone, "How?"
Shakey fell silent, 'Should I get anymore involved in this?'
"Shakey?" Mazurka persisted.
"You'd better ask them," Shakey stated with a shrug, "I think it's some sort of 'rivalry' thing between them… You know what Aesir's like…"
"Rivalry?" Mazurka frowned, "And just what are they being 'rivals' over?"
"I don't know!" Shakey shrugged again, feeling slightly embarrassed, "Some sort of 'girl thing' I guess…"
"So Rave and Aesir see each other as 'rivals'…" Mazurka murmured thoughtfully, "Strange… I can see Aesir being competitive… But Rave?"
"Maybe," Shakey admitted thoughtfully, "Rave is learning how to stand up for herself…"
"Speaking of which…" Mazurka drawled, wearing another sly smile as she looked sideways at Shakey, "Rave IS going to be on a kissing booth…"
Shakey tensed up as his 'Vague Feeling of Impending Doom' kicked in.
"…so she'll need to learn how to kiss," Mazurka finished, "Now I wonder WHO we could get to help her learn…"
Shakey was pale and sweating nervously as he turned to Mazurka. He really wanted to say, 'Mazurka, I WON'T do it!' Preferably in a deep and commanding, Macho voice…
…Instead, what stuttered out was, "M-muh-zurka, I… wh-wh…"
"Want to volunteer your services?" Mazurka grinned, "Attaboy Shakey! I KNEW I could count on you! I'll go and schedule a class for the Girls…"
"…oh God…" whined Shakey, as Mazurka walked off to make a telephone call.
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Fragment - Taking the Plunge.
Shakey Atari stood in the Clone Zone…
Trembling like a leaf on a windy day…
The cause of his current nervous state, was the impending 'lesson' Mazurka had commandeered his services for.
Teaching the Clones how to kiss…
After having to dance with all 137 of the Clones, Shakey was understandably wary that they ALL might want him to give them a lesson on kissing. Not that THAT was the prime source of his nervousness.
'I've only ever kissed one girl in my entire life…' Shakey thought unhappily, remembering a particular encounter with Aesir, 'And I'm supposed to teach the Clones how to kiss?'
Knowing he was doomed, Shakey had still prepared himself as best he could. He'd had a shower, and dressed himself up in a nice casual outfit for the event… He'd thoroughly brushed his teeth, and gargled with Listerine… He'd even sucked on a 'breath mint'…
In short, he was trying to make a more favourable impression than he thought he would. Trying desperately not to let the Clones down any worse than he knew they inevitably would be.
And now, here he was, at Ground Zero…
A touch on his shoulder startled him, and Shakey spun around to see…
A Rave Clone, her blue hair swept back into a ponytail, looking calmly at him, her face a delicate shade of pink.
Shakey gulped nervously.
"Ahem," Mazurka coughed discretely, "Okay… Now Shakey… Rave… This lesson is about kissing. Now there are several types of kisses… We'll be focussing on ones that are 'appropriate' for a High School kissing booth…"
Mazurka smiled, "Now as I recall from my younger days… All of the boys wanted to get value for their money, even if they weren't too confident about kissing a girl. So Rave… The first thing you have to do, is get the boy to relax, and feel comfortable about what the two of you are doing."
"How do I do that?" Rave asked.
"Smile at him," Mazurka shrugged, "If the boy thinks you're glad to see him, he'll relax. It also helps if you make eye contact at the same time."
Rave turned back to Shakey, and looked him in the eyes. She smiled at him, her whole face shifting into a sincere welcome.
Shakey was mesmerised. He'd seen many of the Clones smile in the time he'd known them. In all that time, their smiles had never failed to affect him.
Shakey gazed back into her eyes, into the depths of her crimson gaze… The memory of another time he'd looked into a Clone's eyes came back to him. A time when he'd questioned just whose eyes he was looking into…
'You share her memories,' Shakey thought, a warmth spreading over his face, 'Is she in there as well? Is she looking back at me? The Second Rave?'
"The second thing," Mazurka drawled, "Is to take the initiative! You're the one being asked to do the kissing, so you should be in control of it. It helps if you hold him, that steadies him, and gives you greater control when manoeuvring…"
Rave reached out with both hands, and gently cradled Shakey's head. One hand went around to the back of his head, the fingers spreading to mould the hand against the rearmost curve of his skull. The other hand caressed its way under his chin, to gently cup the chin and jaw between palm and digits.
"And now," grinned Mazurka, "You lean in and touch your lips to his face. As it's just a kissing booth, either cheek is fine."
Shakey closed his eyes, as the Clone moved her face towards his. 'At least she's not holding my nose like Aesir did', he thought with relief.
Rave leaned in, and kissed Shakey on his left cheek, her lips a fleeting warmth.
Shakey opened his eyes, only to see Rave's face coming in towards him again. He blinked as she kissed him on his right cheek.
Rave leant back and released her hold on Shakey…
'Phew!' Shakey thought with relief, 'That wasn't as bad as I thought it would…'
Then Rave repositioned her hands on Shakey, swapping her hands' positions, left for right, before leaning in to kiss him on his left cheek…
Shakey was blushing furiously by now, Rave's unexpected repeat action coming as a warm surprise to him.
Rave leant back, then leaned in to kiss him on his right cheek. Afterwards, Rave released Shakey and stood silently, a blush on her face.
"…And that's a simple kiss," Mazurka advised, "Suitable for a Kissing Booth…"
"What if they want any other type of kiss?" queried the Clone.
"Just tell them that's the only type you do."
"What if they become… insistent?"
Mazurka paused thoughtfully, then replied in droll tones, "In that case… Ask them if they'd like to 'Kiss Your Fist'…"
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Fragment - Carnival.
The day of the Carnival came around, and all of the students were busy as bees.
Shakey was slaving away in the food stall, producing a never-ending supply of hamburgers, noodles, hot dogs, and sushi rolls to the hungry crowds…
Aesir was doing a roaring trade at the kissing booth…
…Or to be more precise, roaring AT her trade…
"I don't FRENCH KISS, you Pervert!" Aesir roared at one unfortunate young buck, who had been entertaining fantasies beyond the reach of reality.
"We do not do that, at this Booth," 'Rave' added, having been informed by Mazurka about some of the perils of working at a Kissing Booth.
"Next!" demanded Aesir, with all the feminine charm of a bulldozer.
So far, the rivalry between Aesir and Rave had resulted in them keeping a very close tally on their 'score charts'.
The main reason for this, was that Aesir was kissing mostly boys who didn't know her real personality, while Rave…
…Rave was kissing all of the boys who DID know Aesir's real personality…
Kantsee was broadcasting the times Aesir was 'taking a break' to the male students she had more or less threatened into patronising 'her' stall. It was a rather lucrative sideline, not just for Kantsee, but also for Rave.
Those male students who didn't want to kiss Aesir, but who had no way of explaining not having visited her stall, now had a good excuse. If anyone should ask, they could prove that they HAD gone to the Kissing Booth, but that they had somehow missed Aesir.
Shame they missed Aesir… Must be Coincidence… Still, they would drown their sorrows and try to support Aesir's booth, by kissing one of the other girls there…
…Which more often than not, was Rave…
It wasn't just the opportunity to kiss the enigmatic blue-haired girl that made Rave so popular. Nor was it the simple kissing technique she used. Unlike Aesir and most of the other girls on the Booth, Rave made the boys feel relaxed and genuinely welcome. She treated them with quiet respect and gentleness, as if they were friends.
Many of the boys returned to the booth, hoping to get another moment of calm acceptance, friendliness, and chaste romance at the gentle hands of Rave.
Meanwhile, other people were also returning to Shakey's Food stall, having enjoyed the food so much, that they wanted a 'take-home' pack.
Let's face it. You can only get REAL Carnival tasting food AT a Carnival…
Shakey soon sold out, much to his relief.
The reason for Shakey's relief was not just the fact that he was able to stop the hectic whirl of making food for a hungry mob, but the fact that he was wearing an apron he'd never seen before.
One that had a large lipstick 'kiss' mark on it, and the embarrassing slogan of 'Kiss the Cook' written on it in large letters.
Shakey most definitely had his suspicions about where it had come from…
"I'm free…" sighed a relieved Shakey.
"We did well," commented one of the Clones impersonating 'Kuroko Musume'.
"Really?" Shakey asked, "How much?"
"This much," Kuroko replied, presenting a tally sheet to Shakey.
Shakey grinned, "All Right! That's the best news I've had all day!"
"I'm sure Aesir will be impressed," Kuroko advised.
Shakey's good mood deflated rather quickly, "I doubt it," he sighed, "No matter what I do, there's always some fault…"
"I doubt she can find fault with this," Kuroko said, indicating a bundle of bento (lunch boxes) on the table, "Especially not since it's free…"
"ACK!" Shakey's eyes widened in fear, "I forgot all about making their lunch!"
Part of the food stall's commitments, was to provide food to other members of Shakey's class in other booths. The service wasn't exactly free, but was at a greatly discounted rate, and certainly far less than what other food stalls would have charged the students.
"Don't worry," Kuroko returned, "I made sure we had enough supplies for them."
Shakey smiled at Kuroko with genuine relief and admiration, "Wow, thanks! You're a life saver!"
Kuroko lowered her gaze, pleasantly embarrassed by Shakey's words of praise.
"You'd best get this over to them while it's still hot," Kuroko murmured, handing the bundle of lunch boxes to Shakey, and urging him on, "Or else…"
Shakey didn't need a second warning, he took the boxes and fled in the general direction of the Kissing Booth.
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Fragment - Change of Pace.
At the Kissing Booth, the hungry girls were happy to see Shakey arrive with their lunch.
Well, most of them…
"About time, you idiot!" Aesir exclaimed, "Are you trying to starve us?"
"Sorry," Shakey meekly apologised, as he started handing out lunch boxes.
Aesir didn't wait, she grabbed a lunch box and marched off to eat elsewhere. Rave calmly waited until Shakey offered her a lunch box, which she politely accepted with a small nod of her head.
As his own stall was sold out, Shakey was left wondering what he should do.
'If I got more supplies in, I could certainly sell more food,' Shakey thought, calculating the requirements, 'But the stall would be shut for at least…'
"Am I too late?" said a soft voice from behind Shakey.
Shakey turned to see a group of several girls, including Natsumi Iwakawa and a couple of Disguised Clones waiting at the front of the Kissing Booth.
"Uh I don't know," Shakey honestly replied, "I'll ask someone…"
"Aren't you working here?" asked a girl Shakey had never seen before.
"Me?" Shakey exclaimed in surprise.
"You are wearing that," said the girl, pointing at the message on Shakey's apron, "So I thought…"
Shakey was saved by the timely arrival of Hickory Harikari, the class monitor.
"I'm sorry," Hickory said, "But we weren't able to get any boys for the booth."
"Oh…" sighed the group of girls, "That's not fair!"
"I know," Hickory admitted, "But the boys just weren't brave enough…"
"Aren't you brave enough?" one of the girls asked Shakey.
"Umm…" Shakey blushed, slightly embarrassed at his slur on his Manly Courage.
"Huh!" Aesir's sceptical voice cut through the crowd, "That Idiot wouldn't know HOW to kiss a girl!"
Shakey cringed at Aesir's comment, recalling how Aesir had reacted when they'd first kissed. The fact she'd gone and immediately gargled afterwards had left a lasting impact on Shakey's sense of self worth.
"Why do you say that?" Rave's soft voice countered.
"You?" Aesir scoffed, "What would you know about being kissed? All you've been doing all day is smiling like an idiot and pecking them on their cheeks?"
"It was sufficient for them," Rave replied honestly.
Shakey blinked, his Vague Sense of Impending Doom doing a song and dance act in the back of his mind.
"…I'd better be going…" Shakey muttered, trying to slip away.
"Oh no you don't," Aesir declared, reaching out to grab Shakey by the collar, "You're not going anywhere until we settle this…"
"…settle what?" Shakey asked fearfully.
"Whether or not you know how to kiss a girl!" Aesir retorted, glaring at Rave, "Rave, we'll settle this here and now!"
"What do you propose?" Rave asked, an interested look on her face.
"IF he knows how to kiss a girl," Aesir grinned, a malicious glint in her eye, "Then he should be a success on this booth…"
Shakey went pale…
…Not just because of what Aesir was suggesting, but because of the response from the group of girls waiting at the booth.
"All right!"
"Me first!"
Including 'interested looks' from the Disguised Clones…
Shakey gulped nervously, and tried to talk his way out of it, "Uh… Look… I DON'T think this is such a good idea…"
"Why not, THIRD?" Aesir sneered, "Unless you're really not man enough to do this? Well? Are you AFRAID little boy?"
Shakey felt a sense of Déjà vu, remembering how his first and only kiss with Aesir had eventuated.
"I'm not afraid," Shakey said quietly.
"Then why not prove it?" Aesir asked, in tones that insinuated other things.
"Perhaps," voiced Rave, looking directly at Aesir, "It is because he is not as skilled at… kissing… as certain other people are?"
Rave used her usual neutral monotone, but the situation, and the way she looked at Aesir when she made the comment, seemed full of unspoken suggestions…
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Aesir asked, giving Rave a narrow eyed glare.
Rave didn't flinch, "Just that he may not be confident of giving fair value in return for money. As you said, he would not know how to kiss a girl."
Aesir looked slightly triumphant at Rave's apparent agreement with her.
"Although," Rave continued, "I wonder what research you conducted to reach such a conclusion…"
Aesir's face turned pink, "I didn't need to do any 'research'!" she spluttered, "Anyone could tell from the way he always acts that he's hopeless!"
"So…" Rave stated calmly, "You have not actually tested whether or not he is an adequate kisser?"
Aesir turned red, but remained silent. Her grip on Shakey's collar tightened, as if to silently warn him to keep his mouth shut…
"Well then," Rave commented, "Perhaps we should try a different experiment."
Aesir looked suspiciously at Rave.
Rave turned to the group of girls waiting at the front of the Kissing Booth.
"If he is worried about not giving you a good enough kiss in return for your money," Rave said to the crowd, "Would you be willing to just kiss him instead? For a reduced fee, of course?"
Giggles arose from the group, and several girls hid their faces shyly behind their hands at the bold offer.
By now, Shakey was blushing a bright pink, "Um… Rave?" he squeaked.
Rave didn't look at Shakey, she merely whispered to him, "Would you rather Aesir made you kiss them, and berate you for not being 'good enough'? Or would you rather they merely kissed you instead, with no expectation of 'performance'?"
Shakey shut his mouth, 'Rave's right…' he thought, 'If Aesir has her way, I'll never hear the end of how lousy I am…'
"…all right…" Shakey sighed in a small voice, accepting Rave's logic, "But only if it's like Rave says! That no one expects me to be a good kisser…"
The group of girls formed a line, and Shakey was soon serving his first customer.
One of the Disguised Rave Clones…
"Do not worry," she said, giving him an amused look, "This will not hurt you…"
Then she reached out, and held him, as Rave had when she'd learned how to kiss.
Shakey closed his eyes and waited for her to kiss him. When the expected kiss didn't come, he opened his eyes in confusion. That was why he saw the warm and tender look the Disguised Clone had in her eyes just before she gently kissed him on his cheek.
Shakey blushed tomato red, as he remembered what Mazurka had told him so long ago… '…they like you…'
The Disguised Clone's attitude, suddenly changed from amused and outspoken, to shy and quiet. As she wore makeup, the blush on her cheeks didn't show.
Rave's cheeks were another matter. She blushed slightly as she sensed the emotional impact on her sister Clone.
Her kiss over, the Disguised Clone made room for another girl.
"Natsumi?" Shakey asked in amazement, as the 'younger' girl put her money down.
"You don't think I'm going to miss out on THIS opportunity do you?" Natsumi grinned, giving a knowing sideways wink at Rave, "Pucker up, Mr Atari!"
Unlike the Disguised Clone, Natsumi kissed Shakey on the lips…
Much to his embarrassment…
Afterwards, Natsumi thoughtfully commented, "Hmmm… Not bad… I think you should schedule some sessions with Rave… After all, Practice makes perfect…"
Shakey and Rave blushed deeper at Natsumi's comments, while Aesir…
"Well!" Aesir harrumphed loudly, "Since 'Lover Boy' here is doing so fine and dandy, I'll just leave him to it!"
Then she walked off.
"Aesir," Hickory protested, "Where are you going?"
"I've served on this stall all morning," Aesir threw back over her shoulder, "In that time, I've done my bit and kissed all manner of jerks… But if I have to stay here and watch much more of THAT…" Aesir indicated Shakey being kissed by yet another girl, "I may very well lose my lunch…"
Shakey wasn't able to leave the Kissing Booth for quite some time. It seemed that suddenly, all of the girls in the area were turning up. This was not just because the girls had heard that a boy was on the Kissing Booth, and were taking advantage of the situation, nor was it because of the 'reduced cost' for kissing him. No, it was more to do with the fact that, the girls were able to kiss someone in the way the girls wanted to kiss and be kissed, rather than the usual slobberings adolescent males on such booths thought adequate.
None of which really mattered to the shy boy being kissed. Shakey was just hoping that the line would shorten and die out sooner rather than later. Unfortunately for him, many of the girls enjoyed the novelty of his predicament, and made return trips later on.
"How much for a French kiss?" one girl with blond hair and a deep tan slyly asked.
"…err…" Shakey cringed back, wide-eyed with apprehension.
Rave came to Shakey's rescue. "We do not do that, at this Booth," Rave said, her quiet monotones making the way her crimson gaze bored into the other girl a not-so-subtle threat.
The two girls glared at each other for a moment, before the newcomer shrugged, and said, "Oh well, a normal kiss then…"
Then the girl looked at Shakey and said, "Perhaps later?"
"…UH…?" Shakey began to sweat nervously as the girl didn't wait for an answer, but reached out for him…
Despite what Shakey thought about his 'abilities', the girl still gave him her phone number.
"Call me sometime," the girl purred at Shakey, before glaring defiantly at Rave, and walking off.
Rave for her part, said nothing, but merely stared back…
Shakey was glad that girls like the blonde were few and far between. More frequent, were those girls who knew Shakey. For example, all of the girls in his class found their way to the stall sooner or later. Mostly it was out of curiosity. Was Shakey as big a 'pervert' as Aesir said he was? Many of the girls were more than a little surprised to see that Shakey WASN'T slobbering over the girls as they'd expected him to be…
Then there were those girls that were 'referred' to the booth by their friends…
…Such as the classmates of Natsumi Iwakawa…
Natsumi had told her classmates about how kindly Shakey had treated her, and all of the girls in her class had developed a semi-crush on him. The younger girls were only too happy to dare each other to kiss the 'nice boy' from a higher grade. They milled around, giggling and shyly looking elsewhere if Shakey looked at them.
And then, there were the Disguised Clones…
They made SEVERAL return trips to the kissing booth. Although, each time it was a different Clone impersonating the 'character' in question. Despite the frequency of their appearances, they were a welcome relief to poor Shakey, as they were always calm, polite, and respectful to him.
Even if the looks they gave him, DID make him feel self-conscious…
Eventually, the day drew to a close, and Shakey was finally able to escape the tender clutches of his customers.
Shakey leaned against a convenient wall and breathed a grateful sigh of relief, "…oh man… am i ever glad that's over with…"
"Shakey?" asked Rave, startling him out of his reverie, "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Shakey replied, straightening up.
The Clone reached out to pat Shakey reassuringly on his shoulder, "I have some information you might like to know…"
Shakey looked at her questioningly, "Oh? What?"
"You had the greatest number of clients on the Kissing Booth today."
"…oh no…" groaned Shakey, hiding his face in his hands.
The Clone looked puzzled, "Being so popular with girls, makes you unhappy?"
Shakey looked wearily at the Clone, "It's not that… It's what Aesir will say if she finds out…"
"Do not worry about her opinion," Rave replied.
"I wish!" Shakey exclaimed, "You don't have to live with her! I do! I just KNOW she's going to make something out of this!"
"Do not worry about her," the Clone insisted, "She will not be upset with you."
Shakey didn't look convinced, "How can you be so sure?"
"Because although you had more customers at the Kissing Booth, they were all at a lower fee. Aesir raised far more money than you did. Besides…" the Clone trailed off.
"Besides?" Shakey prompted, grateful for whatever good news he could get.
The Clone smiled at Shakey, "She will be too busy being upset at me."
"Upset at you?" Shakey asked, puzzled by the Clone's comment, "Why?"
"I had more customers than her," clarified the Clone, "So I raised more money…"
"Oh…"
"Your food stall," the Clone continued, "Raised more money than either of us…"
"Heh," Shakey chuckled, "Good cooking always sells well…"
"Shakey?"
"Yeah?"
"Many of us did not get a chance to visit the Kissing Booth…" the Rave Clone said as she gazed deep into Shakey's eyes, a sad little expression on her face.
Shakey swallowed nervously. He had noticed how frequently the Disguised Clones had visited his stall, but he still knew that it was nowhere near as many times as there were Clones.
"I'm sorry," Shakey automatically replied.
"Shakey…" the Clone's voice was small and hesitant, "…may we…?"
Shakey blushed as he considered the Clone's unspoken suggestion, "You mean…" he said slowly, "…the others all want to… kiss me as well?"
The Clone didn't speak, she merely nodded her head.
Shakey took a few moments to think things through, 'Quite a few of them have already kissed me, so I won't have that many to kiss… It's not as if I'm dancing with all of them at once… Kissing doesn't take long anyway, so…'
"Sure!" shrugged Shakey, "Why not?"
A happy look passed over the Clone's face.
"Provided…" Shakey amended, "That those kissing pay a fee to the Kissing Booth…"
The Clone nodded, a small smile on her face.
'Heh!' Shakey thought, 'If I'm going to be kissed by more people than Aesir, I may as well have something to prove it…'
A short time later, Shakey found himself in the Canteen area of the Clone Zone, surrounded by what appeared to be the entire complement of Clones.
"How much for a French kiss?" a voice behind Shakey asked slyly.
Surprised by the comment, Shakey turned to see the same girl with blond hair and a deep tan that had asked the question at the Kissing Booth earlier.
"…err…" Shakey cringed back, wide-eyed with the realisation that she must be one of the Clones. He turned wordlessly to one of the blue-haired Rave Clones, expecting her to rescue him as the other one had that afternoon.
"Actually," all the Clones chorused, "We were wondering about that ourselves…"
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The END of this Fragment of "Altered Lives (The Parody)"
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OMAKE - Taking the Plunge.
"…And that's a simple kiss," Mazurka advised, "Suitable for a Kissing Booth…"
"What types are unsuitable?" the non-human Clone asked breathlessly.
"Well now," grinned Mazurka, "Since you've got Shakey to practice on… Here's how to do one called 'The Tonsillectomy'…"
Within minutes, Shakey had passed out from lack of oxygen, a dumb smile on his tomato red face.
=========================The END of the OMAKE=========================