Hee hee... I like to poke fun at people. And yeah, in this fic Malik's
just a little bit girl-crazy.
Bakura: A bit? You're kidding right?
Malik: Shut up.
~_~() Stop arguing you too. Let's see... Not too much more to say about this chapter, so let's just get to it.
Ryou: You forgot to tell them that you don't own YuGi Oh.
*cries* Oh but I wish I did!
~*~*~*~
Chapter Three: At the Mall
Malik pulled his motorcycle to a stop in a parking place outside of the mall. Bakura climbed off and moped nearby, not in any hurry at all to go inside. He glared daggers at Malik. At least he was taking his precious time...
Swinging his leg casually over the seat, Malik dismounted his motorcycle with effortless grace. He slowly pulled off his helmet and lowered it until he was holding it in front of his stomach. With a few well practice motions of his head, he flipped his hair around and then back behind him, flashing a prize-winning smile.
Girls who had been moving through the parking lot swooned, staring at the gorgeous hunk of a young man. He placed his helmet onto the seat, still smiling seductively, and winked at a particularly large group of teenage females. They all blushed and started whispering to each other excitedly...
That's when Malik was suddenly thwapped in the back of the head.
"OW! Hey! What was that for!?" Malik turned on Bakura and glared, rubbing the back of his head.
"Stop showing off and let's get this over with if we have to. I don't want to be here at all, let alone do I want to be here all afternoon."
"Alright, already. I'm coming..." Malik grumbled as he moved toward the entrance of the mall.
~~~
"Look," Malik sighed. "It won't kill you to try something on."
"I'm not going to wear these." Bakura growled, glaring at the pairs of pants that Malik was holding out to him.
Malik rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to get out the Rod?"
Bakura raised an eyebrow and looked him over. "I think that depends on what you plan to do with it..."
Malik stared at him for a moment before thrusting the clothing at him. "Ugh! I think I'd rather not know the sick crap that goes on in your mind... Just go try these on..." He shook his head as he turned and trudged off to search for something else.
Bakura couldn't help but grin at how easy that was. He chuckled to himself as he turned and made his way to the fitting room. As he walked, he looked at some of the things that Malik had given him. They weren't too bad... but they looked kind of small. Nothing like the comfortable, loose fitting things that Ryou wore...
Not watching where you're walking isn't very smart. A lesson Bakura realized as he walked straight into someone. Tripping, he toppled into the person, causing them both to fall to the floor in a mess of flailing limbs and pairs of pants.
"Foolish mortal!" Bakura shouted as he attempted to regain any sense of direction, let alone climb back to his feet. "Now you shall suffer the wrath of- MMPH! HMM MMPHMM!?!?" Bakura suddenly found that he couldn't speak, due to the hand that was suddenly clasped tightly over his mouth.
"Shut up, Tomb Robber!" A familiar voice hissed. "You'll attract attention..."
Bakura was suddenly shoved aside as the person he had walked into climbed to his feet. Turning his gaze up, he saw that accursed pharaoh standing there, dusting himself off and giving him a disdainful look. Why did he have to be here? As if this day wasn't bad enough as it was!
Yami suddenly turned away from Bakura, a panicked look on his face as he ducked behind a display of jeans. "Shoot! They almost saw me..."
Raising an eyebrow, Bakura climbed to his feet, collecting the pairs of pants that he had been given to try on. "Clumsy freak of nature..." Bakura muttered angrily, giving Yami a death glare. What really annoyed Bakura, though, was when Yami didn't take any notice. Then he stopped, a sudden thought coming to him. "What are you doing here?"
Glancing over his shoulder, Yami regarded Bakura with distaste. "I should ask the same of you..." he mused as his eyes fell onto the pants that Bakura held.
Bakura followed the other yami's gaze and looked down at the clothing before looking up at Yami. "This is none of your business." He stressed, giving him a look that was meant to convey all the terrible things he'd do to Yami if he pressed the subject further.
Yami just nodded absently and turned to peek around the display again. "Ok... Good for you tomb robber..."
Bakura frowned. "What are you doing? Hiding from someone?"
"Actually..." Yami glanced over his shoulder and nodded.
"..." Bakura inclined his head to one side, an eyebrow raised in bemusement as well as curiosity.
"Anzu drug Yugi here in an attempt to get him some clothing. She hopes to get him to wear something other than his school uniform all the time. (((Yes, I'm poking fun at Yugi, but have you ever noticed that he really is almost always wearing the school uniform?))) Then, Yugi came up with the brilliant idea of getting me my own wardrobe..." Yami suddenly looked worried. "You aren't going to tell them I'm over here are you?"
Bakura's lips split in an evil grin. "You don't know how much pleasure it would give me to see you suffer like that... And with the day I've been having, I could use the fun."
"Ra, help me..." Yami muttered under his breath. "Look... You may be having a bad day, but I've been trying to dodge those two all afternoon."
"That's not my problem, Pineapple Head." Bakura grinned then moved around to where he could see Yugi and Anzu. "Hey Yugi! Anzu! I just thought you'd like to know... Yami's right over here!"
The two others smiled and waved, shouting their thanks as they headed over. Bakura turned to Yami, who was banging his head against the wall. "Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, you pathetic excuse for a Yami..."
Feeling much better after causing that pharaoh the pain of having to deal with his even more accursed hikari and that annoying little goody good, Bakura turned and headed towards the fitting room again. *Thank you, Ra, for such amusement...*
Bakura lost his cheer, however, after trying on the first pair of pants. He struggled with the zipper and the clasp and stood there pulling at the waist, attempting to find a way to make them looser. He frowned and looked at his reflection. How did Malik stand wearing his pants like this!?
Frowning, he shook his head. Opening the door to his fitting room a crack, he glanced around. Seeing Malik nearby, he waved him over. When his friend came closer, he opened the door and stood glaring at him. "I feel completely ridiculous..."
Malik shrugged. "They look fine. How do they feel?"
"Like I'm trying to squeeze into a pair of pants that are two sizes too small... How can you possibly think this is comfortable?"
"Oh, you're over reacting." Malik rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm sure you'll get used to it."
Bakura muttered several nasty names in Egyptian at Malik and slammed the fitting room door in his face. Then he started trying on the other pants. They weren't all quite as tight as the first pair, but they were still all tighter than what he was used to. Taking the ones that he thought were at least tolerable, he just left the others there.
Malik was stretched out casually in a chair, smiling suavely at a group of giggling girls who were standing close at hand. Bakura walked over and dropped the pants onto his head, pleased that the girls laughed hysterically and moved off. He smirked at Malik as his friend managed to disentangle himself from the pants.
"That isn't funny..." Malik grumbled as he stood, slinging the pants over one shoulder and moving off to look at shirts.
"Sure it was. You just don't share my sense of humor." Bakura chuckled as he followed.
"You're just trying to make everyone else miserable because you don't want to be here, aren't you?" Malik asked, even though it was obvious that he knew the answer.
"Noooo! I would never!" cried Bakura, putting a hand to his chest in mock shock and offense. "How could you say such a thing?"
"Great... And the annoying albino turns sarcastic. That's just beautiful." Malik mumbled.
"Yes, well being with you lately has certainly been a picnic. I mean, look at this! Here I am suffering through buying clothes like yours so that I can date your sister just because you don't want to think about what she's doing with your yami! How is this fair!?"
Malik felt an unintentional hesitation in his movements when Bakura mentioned 'what she's doing with your yami' and he practically stumbled. He managed to keep his balance, though. "Unpleasant imagery here, Bakura! Thank you sooooo much!" Malik grumbled as he started searching through the shirts.
Bakura laughed and came up behind Malik, putting his arms around him. "Oh, I'm so sorry Malik!" he said in a terrible attempt at a feminine voice. "Will you ever forgive me?"
"Get off!" Malik growled as he attempted to pull Bakura's arms away from each other so as to make an opening to get free.
"Oh but darling... We never just enjoy each others company anymore." Bakura grinned evilly as Malik continued to struggle. He knew it bugged Malik when he did this, because he always wants to be such a hit with the girls. Bakura, on the other hand, didn't care one way or another what people thought of him.
"Bakura!" Malik finally managed to pull free of Bakura's grip. Half- sighing and half-growling in frustration, he turned back to looking through the shirts.
The other male sighed in a bored manner and began poking at some of the shirts. Men actually wore this sort of thing? He looked up at Malik and raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. Well... some of these stupid, brightly colored shirts actually made what he was wearing look tolerable. Sighing, he went back to poking around, not really knowing or caring what he was looking for. Malik would handle it... Not that Bakura wanted to wear anything that he would suggest, but what was he going to do about it? If he refused, Malik would just use his Millennium Rod to control him. If only he had gotten the Ring from Ryou...
"You know..." Malik started thoughtfully. "I'm really not sure what to tell you about my sister... I suppose you'll have to show some kind of high-class attitude. But then again, she fell for my yami, so perhaps she's more into the wild type."
Bakura just grumbled and didn't really listen to anything Malik said after that. Why did this sort of thing have to happen to him? Why couldn't Malik have gone to any of the others? It was too late to ask that, though. He'd already agreed to help, and he wasn't backing out now. They might think he was a coward or something. He wouldn't stand for that. He did actually want to help his friend. He'd never admit that was a reason for agreeing, though.
"Here. Go try these on." Malik held out a bunch of shirts.
Bakura took the shirts and looked through them. Groaning, he moved off towards the fitting rooms again. He did not want to wear these clothes. Nor did he want have anything to do with Isis. But... It was too late to worry about that now... He'd just have to go along with it.
He remembered something else that Malik had said and groaned. The next really annoying part would come when they got back to Ryou's house. Malik said that he was going to teach Bakura as much as he could about Isis, as well as just some 'Lessons of Seduction' in general.
*Oh joy...* Bakura thought as he closed the door to the fitting room.
~*~*~*~
Woot! And there's another chapter. *beams* And I thank you all for reviewing! Keep it up please.
Gyakutenno Megami: Thanks for reviewing again, I really am glad that you didn't stop reading because you didn't like the idea of Mariku/Isis. And no... They may be fruits, but you can't eat them!
IrishJade: Tee hee hee! Yessum, he certainly did get tongue-tied. I couldn't resist that. ^_^()
Kelsey: Aww! Thanks! I'm glad you think I'm doing everything right. ^_^() And yep, it is rather funny. I'm having a blast reading through it all again to revise each chapter before putting it up.
Just keep in mind all of ya, the funny won't last forever. It will become much less funny later on. Just to warn you (yet again) that that is coming.
Just to give you a little idea on what's coming for this chapter's bloopers... One of my favorite sections. The "Inappropriate Rod Comments" *grins* And I make people very klutzy and I bash Anzu a bit. * Anzu is much cooler than the way the made Tea in the dub... But she still gets on my nerves on occasion. Anyway, now I'll shut up so you can go read the bloopers.
Bakura: A bit? You're kidding right?
Malik: Shut up.
~_~() Stop arguing you too. Let's see... Not too much more to say about this chapter, so let's just get to it.
Ryou: You forgot to tell them that you don't own YuGi Oh.
*cries* Oh but I wish I did!
~*~*~*~
Chapter Three: At the Mall
Malik pulled his motorcycle to a stop in a parking place outside of the mall. Bakura climbed off and moped nearby, not in any hurry at all to go inside. He glared daggers at Malik. At least he was taking his precious time...
Swinging his leg casually over the seat, Malik dismounted his motorcycle with effortless grace. He slowly pulled off his helmet and lowered it until he was holding it in front of his stomach. With a few well practice motions of his head, he flipped his hair around and then back behind him, flashing a prize-winning smile.
Girls who had been moving through the parking lot swooned, staring at the gorgeous hunk of a young man. He placed his helmet onto the seat, still smiling seductively, and winked at a particularly large group of teenage females. They all blushed and started whispering to each other excitedly...
That's when Malik was suddenly thwapped in the back of the head.
"OW! Hey! What was that for!?" Malik turned on Bakura and glared, rubbing the back of his head.
"Stop showing off and let's get this over with if we have to. I don't want to be here at all, let alone do I want to be here all afternoon."
"Alright, already. I'm coming..." Malik grumbled as he moved toward the entrance of the mall.
~~~
"Look," Malik sighed. "It won't kill you to try something on."
"I'm not going to wear these." Bakura growled, glaring at the pairs of pants that Malik was holding out to him.
Malik rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to get out the Rod?"
Bakura raised an eyebrow and looked him over. "I think that depends on what you plan to do with it..."
Malik stared at him for a moment before thrusting the clothing at him. "Ugh! I think I'd rather not know the sick crap that goes on in your mind... Just go try these on..." He shook his head as he turned and trudged off to search for something else.
Bakura couldn't help but grin at how easy that was. He chuckled to himself as he turned and made his way to the fitting room. As he walked, he looked at some of the things that Malik had given him. They weren't too bad... but they looked kind of small. Nothing like the comfortable, loose fitting things that Ryou wore...
Not watching where you're walking isn't very smart. A lesson Bakura realized as he walked straight into someone. Tripping, he toppled into the person, causing them both to fall to the floor in a mess of flailing limbs and pairs of pants.
"Foolish mortal!" Bakura shouted as he attempted to regain any sense of direction, let alone climb back to his feet. "Now you shall suffer the wrath of- MMPH! HMM MMPHMM!?!?" Bakura suddenly found that he couldn't speak, due to the hand that was suddenly clasped tightly over his mouth.
"Shut up, Tomb Robber!" A familiar voice hissed. "You'll attract attention..."
Bakura was suddenly shoved aside as the person he had walked into climbed to his feet. Turning his gaze up, he saw that accursed pharaoh standing there, dusting himself off and giving him a disdainful look. Why did he have to be here? As if this day wasn't bad enough as it was!
Yami suddenly turned away from Bakura, a panicked look on his face as he ducked behind a display of jeans. "Shoot! They almost saw me..."
Raising an eyebrow, Bakura climbed to his feet, collecting the pairs of pants that he had been given to try on. "Clumsy freak of nature..." Bakura muttered angrily, giving Yami a death glare. What really annoyed Bakura, though, was when Yami didn't take any notice. Then he stopped, a sudden thought coming to him. "What are you doing here?"
Glancing over his shoulder, Yami regarded Bakura with distaste. "I should ask the same of you..." he mused as his eyes fell onto the pants that Bakura held.
Bakura followed the other yami's gaze and looked down at the clothing before looking up at Yami. "This is none of your business." He stressed, giving him a look that was meant to convey all the terrible things he'd do to Yami if he pressed the subject further.
Yami just nodded absently and turned to peek around the display again. "Ok... Good for you tomb robber..."
Bakura frowned. "What are you doing? Hiding from someone?"
"Actually..." Yami glanced over his shoulder and nodded.
"..." Bakura inclined his head to one side, an eyebrow raised in bemusement as well as curiosity.
"Anzu drug Yugi here in an attempt to get him some clothing. She hopes to get him to wear something other than his school uniform all the time. (((Yes, I'm poking fun at Yugi, but have you ever noticed that he really is almost always wearing the school uniform?))) Then, Yugi came up with the brilliant idea of getting me my own wardrobe..." Yami suddenly looked worried. "You aren't going to tell them I'm over here are you?"
Bakura's lips split in an evil grin. "You don't know how much pleasure it would give me to see you suffer like that... And with the day I've been having, I could use the fun."
"Ra, help me..." Yami muttered under his breath. "Look... You may be having a bad day, but I've been trying to dodge those two all afternoon."
"That's not my problem, Pineapple Head." Bakura grinned then moved around to where he could see Yugi and Anzu. "Hey Yugi! Anzu! I just thought you'd like to know... Yami's right over here!"
The two others smiled and waved, shouting their thanks as they headed over. Bakura turned to Yami, who was banging his head against the wall. "Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, you pathetic excuse for a Yami..."
Feeling much better after causing that pharaoh the pain of having to deal with his even more accursed hikari and that annoying little goody good, Bakura turned and headed towards the fitting room again. *Thank you, Ra, for such amusement...*
Bakura lost his cheer, however, after trying on the first pair of pants. He struggled with the zipper and the clasp and stood there pulling at the waist, attempting to find a way to make them looser. He frowned and looked at his reflection. How did Malik stand wearing his pants like this!?
Frowning, he shook his head. Opening the door to his fitting room a crack, he glanced around. Seeing Malik nearby, he waved him over. When his friend came closer, he opened the door and stood glaring at him. "I feel completely ridiculous..."
Malik shrugged. "They look fine. How do they feel?"
"Like I'm trying to squeeze into a pair of pants that are two sizes too small... How can you possibly think this is comfortable?"
"Oh, you're over reacting." Malik rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'm sure you'll get used to it."
Bakura muttered several nasty names in Egyptian at Malik and slammed the fitting room door in his face. Then he started trying on the other pants. They weren't all quite as tight as the first pair, but they were still all tighter than what he was used to. Taking the ones that he thought were at least tolerable, he just left the others there.
Malik was stretched out casually in a chair, smiling suavely at a group of giggling girls who were standing close at hand. Bakura walked over and dropped the pants onto his head, pleased that the girls laughed hysterically and moved off. He smirked at Malik as his friend managed to disentangle himself from the pants.
"That isn't funny..." Malik grumbled as he stood, slinging the pants over one shoulder and moving off to look at shirts.
"Sure it was. You just don't share my sense of humor." Bakura chuckled as he followed.
"You're just trying to make everyone else miserable because you don't want to be here, aren't you?" Malik asked, even though it was obvious that he knew the answer.
"Noooo! I would never!" cried Bakura, putting a hand to his chest in mock shock and offense. "How could you say such a thing?"
"Great... And the annoying albino turns sarcastic. That's just beautiful." Malik mumbled.
"Yes, well being with you lately has certainly been a picnic. I mean, look at this! Here I am suffering through buying clothes like yours so that I can date your sister just because you don't want to think about what she's doing with your yami! How is this fair!?"
Malik felt an unintentional hesitation in his movements when Bakura mentioned 'what she's doing with your yami' and he practically stumbled. He managed to keep his balance, though. "Unpleasant imagery here, Bakura! Thank you sooooo much!" Malik grumbled as he started searching through the shirts.
Bakura laughed and came up behind Malik, putting his arms around him. "Oh, I'm so sorry Malik!" he said in a terrible attempt at a feminine voice. "Will you ever forgive me?"
"Get off!" Malik growled as he attempted to pull Bakura's arms away from each other so as to make an opening to get free.
"Oh but darling... We never just enjoy each others company anymore." Bakura grinned evilly as Malik continued to struggle. He knew it bugged Malik when he did this, because he always wants to be such a hit with the girls. Bakura, on the other hand, didn't care one way or another what people thought of him.
"Bakura!" Malik finally managed to pull free of Bakura's grip. Half- sighing and half-growling in frustration, he turned back to looking through the shirts.
The other male sighed in a bored manner and began poking at some of the shirts. Men actually wore this sort of thing? He looked up at Malik and raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. Well... some of these stupid, brightly colored shirts actually made what he was wearing look tolerable. Sighing, he went back to poking around, not really knowing or caring what he was looking for. Malik would handle it... Not that Bakura wanted to wear anything that he would suggest, but what was he going to do about it? If he refused, Malik would just use his Millennium Rod to control him. If only he had gotten the Ring from Ryou...
"You know..." Malik started thoughtfully. "I'm really not sure what to tell you about my sister... I suppose you'll have to show some kind of high-class attitude. But then again, she fell for my yami, so perhaps she's more into the wild type."
Bakura just grumbled and didn't really listen to anything Malik said after that. Why did this sort of thing have to happen to him? Why couldn't Malik have gone to any of the others? It was too late to ask that, though. He'd already agreed to help, and he wasn't backing out now. They might think he was a coward or something. He wouldn't stand for that. He did actually want to help his friend. He'd never admit that was a reason for agreeing, though.
"Here. Go try these on." Malik held out a bunch of shirts.
Bakura took the shirts and looked through them. Groaning, he moved off towards the fitting rooms again. He did not want to wear these clothes. Nor did he want have anything to do with Isis. But... It was too late to worry about that now... He'd just have to go along with it.
He remembered something else that Malik had said and groaned. The next really annoying part would come when they got back to Ryou's house. Malik said that he was going to teach Bakura as much as he could about Isis, as well as just some 'Lessons of Seduction' in general.
*Oh joy...* Bakura thought as he closed the door to the fitting room.
~*~*~*~
Woot! And there's another chapter. *beams* And I thank you all for reviewing! Keep it up please.
Gyakutenno Megami: Thanks for reviewing again, I really am glad that you didn't stop reading because you didn't like the idea of Mariku/Isis. And no... They may be fruits, but you can't eat them!
IrishJade: Tee hee hee! Yessum, he certainly did get tongue-tied. I couldn't resist that. ^_^()
Kelsey: Aww! Thanks! I'm glad you think I'm doing everything right. ^_^() And yep, it is rather funny. I'm having a blast reading through it all again to revise each chapter before putting it up.
Just keep in mind all of ya, the funny won't last forever. It will become much less funny later on. Just to warn you (yet again) that that is coming.
Just to give you a little idea on what's coming for this chapter's bloopers... One of my favorite sections. The "Inappropriate Rod Comments" *grins* And I make people very klutzy and I bash Anzu a bit. * Anzu is much cooler than the way the made Tea in the dub... But she still gets on my nerves on occasion. Anyway, now I'll shut up so you can go read the bloopers.