A/N is chapter contains stronger language and some colorful innuendos.
Welcome Back Hogwarts
Late on New Years day the rest of the student body returned to Hogwarts. The seventeen students that had remained over break quickly told their classmates the events of the break. Needless to say the rumor mill was up and running again, and it would only be prodded along in the near future.
Poor Professor Snape, you may think that his life can't get any more complicated. Well you would be wrong, Snape spent many long hours formulating a plan to get his revenge on Black and Lupin. However his plots for revenge were halted by fate, you can imagine his disappointment when he was told that Black left in the wee hours of the morning.
That night proved that ravenclaws as well as gryffindors sneak out at night. In fact the ravenclaws have it down to an art form, which is why you never hear of it. There was extensive study on the part of the ravenclaws and this information is passed down each year. But I digress that is a story for another time. My point is that Cho Chang was on her way to the kitchens to meet up with one Ronald Weasley. She tickled the pear and he was waiting for her in the kitchens. He stood there tapping on his watch with and annoyed expression on his face.
"What took you so long, Chang?"
"Not all of us have invisibility cloaks, Weasley," Cho replied, "now get over here and kiss me." Ron quickly complied with her orders.
"I missed you Cho," he said kissing her again. The two them snuck out under the invisibility cloak that everyone except Harry was using this cloak. They were walking through the hallway when they spied Professor McGonagall and Remus Lupin walking down the corridor. They quickly hid behind a statue, while the teachers passed.
"Remus, do you smell something?" Minerva whispered to Remus. They both had heightened senses.
"Yeah, I think its students under an invisibility cloak or something," he whispered back.
"Should we start the rumor now."
"Sure… I can't believe Albus would allow that, it is not quite the example that should be set for the students." Remus said in a loud whisper, loud enough for the two students to hear him.
"Remus, you have to understand that when it comes to Severus, Albus believes he can do no wrong."
"Yes, but that is far to inappropriate for a school, the least he could do is take responsibility for his actions, and think about Sinistra, will he at least support the child." Remus said ensnaring the students to think over the not so subtle clues.
"Ron, did he say what I think he said?" she asked her redheaded boyfriend.
"I think so. Did he say Snape's pregnant?" he asked incredulously.
"Sinistra is I think, can we continue on our walk to the lake now," came Cho's response.
"Yeah, I really don't want to think of that." Ron said shuddering, then he took Cho's hand and they walked over to a tree by the lake. They stayed there for a while talking and kissing. After Ron had returned to his room he had to talk to Harry, who was naturally asleep, so Ron had to shake him.
"Harry, psst, Harry, wake up," Ron whispered shaking his best friend, "I got something to tell you."
"Go away, Ron," Harry muttered, as he tried to hit Ron with a pillow.
"Harry, it's important"
"Shut up over there," they heard Seamus' Irish brogue and Ron threw Harry's pillow over to Seamus.
"Thanks, always wanted the boy-who-lived's pillow." Seamus called out.
"What Ron?" an exhausted Harry asked. "Hey Seamus! That's my pillow."
"Not any more!" Seamus started laughing maniacally.
"Ron!"
"Snape knocked up Professor Sinistra."
"What?!!!"
"Snape got Sinistra pregnant, do you want me to scream it." Ron said louder getting Seamus' attention.
"Ron, Snape did what with who for how many cookies?" Seamus asked what both Dean and Neville where thinking, not necessarily as they would have put it.
"SEAMUS!" all four gryffindors yelled.
"What? All I wanted to know was who Snape hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing with don't bite my head off."
"SINISTRA. Snape did the nasty with Sinistra and now she having his kid!"
"Gosh Ron wake up the whole dorm why don't you." Harry hissed.
"Yeah I don't think the huffelpuffs heard you say that Snape screwed Sinistra." Dean joked.
"I really didn't need that mental image in my head, or to ever think about Snape shagging anyone," Neville lamented shuddering.
"HEAR THAT FRED LEE, SNAPE IMPREGNANTED SINISTRA AND IS HAVING TWINS!!" they heard George yell through the wall. About three minutes later the twins and Lee barged into their dorm room. "Move over Ron." Ron groaned as his brothers climbed onto his bed.
"So tell us what you know about Snape's triplets?" Fred asked eagerly. "So Snape banged Sinistra always knew there was something between them, sorta like sexual tension."
"What would you know about sexual tension?" Lee asked and Ron groaned.
"I'm still getting used to the idea of Snape doing anyone?" Harry muttered.
So Ron retold the story to his roommates and brothers and Lee. Who later would embellish the story, as would the people they told, just like a giant game of telephone.
On the first day of classes Snape woke up to one sick bed partner, she was extremely ill.
"Woman, go see Poppy you're sick," he said as they walked to breakfast.
"I just need to eat, Severus," she said, and he frowned at her so she stuck her tongue out at him, "fine after breakfast I'll go to the infirmary. You blasted moron."
"Poppy, I'm sick," Sinistra whined as she sat down in the infirmary.
"Hon, I don't think you are sick but I'll give you a check up." She said.
"Honestly Poppy, I woke up this morning sick and Severus told me to come here."
"If I woke up with Severus in the mornings I would be sick as well, that cant be good for your health." She joked.
"Watch it Pomfry, or I'll comment on where you wake up in the mornings." She sneered.
"Good grief, his mannerisms are rubbing off on you." She started her examination of Sinistra, "congratulations, Aurora I sure Severus will be a fine father."
"What," she asked then as a realization dawned on her, her eyes flew open, "Oh my, what on earth am I going to tell him,"
"That's up to you and break it to him easily, he most definitely won't be expecting it."
"He's going to kill me!" she whined.
"No he's not,"
"This is Severus Snape were talking about." She said as she got out of the chair, "wish me luck," she said as she walked through the door. She had no classes that early in the day so she could take her time thinking about what she was going to tell Severus.
Severus was not happy; in his first-year class he realized that all the labels on his potions supplies were mixed up. Unfortunately he noticed this after two potions had exploded. The potions covered his classroom with bright yellow goo. He took 20 points from both gryffindor and hufflepuff. A third potion was threatening to explode when he realized the mix-up and he quickly reversed the problem and dismissed his class so that he could re-label. He was still re-labeling his stock when the incompetent third years came in.
"Sit down, shut up, and open your books to the chapter on invisibility potions and take good notes, you will be having a quiz at the end of class on invisibility potions," he snarled and the class obeyed. Lunch rolled around and in came Remus Lupin.
"Severus," he started, " I know I asked this before but is there something that you can do about the taste of the wolfsbane potion."
"NO! Lupin, how many times have we been over this?" he hissed, "first you asked for lemon, and I said no that made you horny, then you wanted almond, but that made you invisible, which is just what the bloody world needs invisible werewolves. Then its cherry which made you change colors, howl, and shrink randomly, now what do you want?"
"Orange."
"ORANGE, are you mad of all the asinine things I have ever heard; when added to the potion orange extract will make you grow four of five sizes. You cannot possible tell me that you to be a giant werewolf now. The potion works fine just the way it is."
"So sorry to bother you Severus," Lupin said sarcastically and left the office.
"Well, that's just what the world need," Snape shouted at no one, rolling a headache potion on his desk.
"Needs what?" he heard Sinistra ask.
"Oh, its you," he said blandly, "what do you want?"
"Just to talk to you, I have something I need to tell you."
"I'm not in the mood."
"It's important."
"Go ahead," he said sharply, staring at her and waiting while she opened and closed her mouth, "go on woman, I haven't got all day and I have better things to do than watch you gape at me like an ignorant hufflepuff."
You sardonic bastard! At least I'm not a misplaced gryffindor."
"That's what's so bloody important telling me that the sorting hat was wrong."
"What the hell is wrong with you anyways, having trouble adjusting to humanity?"
"What's wrong with me is none of your concern you nosey wench."
"You supercilious arse, I came to tell you that thanks to you, you sodding git, I'm pregnant, and its all your damn fault." She shouted.
"What makes you think its mine?" he sneered and her eyes flew open with rage and she picked up his headache potion and threw it at him.
"You patronizing, condescending, pompous, conceited, pretentious son of a bitch, of all the moronic, foolish, idiotic things to say; how dare you insinuate that I have been unfaithful to you. Although you could be right, how ever you managed to do it I don't know you boorish wretch." She slammed his door and left leaving Snape with an even bigger headache than before. He absently reached where he had left the potion. It wasn't there and he saw the potion lying in a puddle on his floor. Needless to say he was enraged when he went to fifth year slytherin and gryffindor potions. He stomped into his classroom and slammed the door behind him.
"Sit down, shut up and the first person that speaks will lose twenty house points," he growled and took his place at his desk.
"Professor…"
"Twenty points from Slytherin, Malfoy, what part of shut up don't you understand? Today we will be brewing color changing potions, now watch me."
He grabbed his favorite cauldron and placed it over the flame and added his ingredients. As soon as the last nettle was added his potion began to leek out. He emptied it and grabbed another one and sure enough the same thing happened. Snape, getting angrier and angrier looked at all of his cauldrons and there was an expanding hole on all of the bottoms.
"50 points from each house and when I find out who did this I can guarantee that there will me no way that they will even be considered eligible to win the house cup, I will blast them so far in the hole that they wont get out even if Potter manages to save the day again. GET OUT!"
Astronomy was not any fun either Professor Sinistra was normally a patient teacher. But she was sill in a foul mood from her fight with Snape earlier. She watched him at dinner, cursing him in her head. She noticed the headmaster lean over and ask Severus something, in response Snape brow furrowed and he stood up form the table and stormed out of the great hall after shooting her a vicious glare. At first Sinistra thought it had something to do with you-know-who.
In astronomy the charts that Sinistra had worked extremely hard on where ruined, someone that changed all the constellations around, making her look ignorant in front of her class and if that wasn't bad enough they put dots on the telescopes that moved around but wouldn't come off easily, and she didn't want to wreck any of the telescopes. She took points off of each house and dismissed them to spend the night soaking the lenses in a cleaning potion.