W T F!
That following week potions class was even more of a nightmare than normal. Especially if you were Neville Longbottom and mananaged to blow up more culrons than Snape knew what to do with, that and the fact that the teacher scared the living daylights out of you normally. Professor Snape took multitudes of points off of the hufflepuffs if it sounded like they had an attitude, ravenclaws for any such reason; like the fact that Professor Sinistra is a ravenclaw, and he took points off of gryffindor if he thought they looked at him funny. He even took a few points off of an especially incompetent slytherin. And to make matters worse he was still trying to figure out who was behind the pranks that had been plaguing him.
Astronomy was not a picnic either; Sinistra was having severe mood swings and would go from nice, happy teacher to evil bitch teacher rather quickly. This naturally led to points being taken away and detentions being given. Since Sinistra didn't enjoy having detention she gave the students detention with Snape. It was a way to punish both the students and Severus Snape. It was not a good week to be spreading rumors about your two favorite teachers.
Snape first heard the rumor for Albus at dinner on the night that after Sinistra told him.
"So, Severus, when were you going to tell me that you were having triplets?" the headmaster had asked. Causing Snape to fly in to a blind rage and storm out of the great hall. He spent that night drinking and blaming Sinistra for telling others before him. He was undoubtedly getting more and more angry with Sinistra as he drank. That and he kept going over their argument and he felt guilty about some of the things he said to her. The more guilty he felt the more he drunk, and the more he drunk the angrier he got; it became a nasty circle until he was in a drunken stupor.
No one ever told Severus Snape that falling in love was easy, but they never said anything about it being this hard. Hell, no one ever told Snape about love and he wasn't about to fall for any fairytale notions because he was here flying blind and he had one ticked off co-pilot. Severus Snape didn't believe in love even after it smacked him in the face and Sinistra had, hard.
After a week went by the students started thinking something was bothering the potions master. The headmaster thought it had to do with Voldemort, and the students with the rumor that had expanded to claim the Snape was pregnant septuplets and that professor Sinistra was carrying five. Sinistra didn't hear about the rumors until a while after they had been started.
"Aurora," Sinistra was starting a walk by the lake when she heard Fleur call after her, "wait up."
"Hey, what's up?"
"Are the rumors true?" Fleur asked carefully.
"What rumors?" she asked thinking frantically.
"The ones that say you and Snape are having triplets?"
"Triplets," she breathed, "How in hell…"
"So they are true?"
"Yes. I mean no, well kind of."
"Aurora you either are or you are not, there is no middle ground."
"Well we are, but we didn't tell anyone. So how would everyone know?"
"I don't know, but rumors do spread quickly in this school."
"Fleur, who did you hear this from?" she asked.
"Remus mentioned it."
"Severus is going to kill me."
"He is not."
"You don't know him like I do."
"SINISTRA!" Snape bellowed as he walked across the grounds.
"I don't have time for this Severus."
"Why the hell did you tell everyone about us."
"I told no one anything, you over grown bat. Oh so, now it's us and our problem, not me and my problem."
"I should not have said what I said to you," Severus mumbled and Sinistra's jaw fell open, "I was wrong."
"What was that, I didn't catch the end?"
"I said that I was wrong."
"Wrong is that what you said, wrong about what?"
"I was wrong," he spat the word out, " about not being the father and accusing you of that."
"Oh my god it's a miracle, Severus Snape can actually admit that he was wrong. Should I alert the Daily Prophet?"
"Must you be so rude about my apology?"
"Apology, that was an admission of wrongness, you don't ever apologize Snape, and hell you barely ever admit that you're wrong." Sinistra shrieked arms flaring everywhere, "I guess I should take what I get. Fine I accept you admission of wrongness and I said some things that I did not mean was well."
"Very well. Now who did you tell?"
"Only Poppy, why?"
"Everyone knows. The other night at dinner Albus asked me how my triplets were. Minerva offered to knit me, and I quote 'booties'." He told her and she managed to keep her laughter in check.
"What are we going to do about the rumors?"
"At supper I have a plan to squash them, but I'm not sure about it yet."
"Do you want to tell me about it, or do I have to wait as well?"
"I suppose you should know what I'm planning. I suspect that Minerva is behind these rumors, but I have no proof."
"Fleur told me that Remus told her the rumor, then she told me. Severus, can you brew me a strong potion to clean telescope lenses and to make them scratchproof."
"Very well, may I inquire as to why?"
"The other day someone tampered with all my telescopes and while adding moving stars, they managed to scratch up the lenses."
"Interesting, tell me has anything other strange things been happening to your things."
"Yes, why?"
"Because someone has been transfiguring my things as well as playing other practical jokes on me."
"Hmm, you know maybe this rumor is just another practical joke, to get back at us for the Yule Ball and the New Year's party."
"Do you think Minerva could think all that up and execute it?"
"She had help Severus."
"Lupin and black, both have left, so our revenge should be targeted on Minerva."
"What if she had more help?"
"Then we will deal with them at a later date." The two professors continued their walk right down to the dungeons where they resumed their conversation in Severus' office and sat taking until suppertime.
That night after supper when the students were finishing their meals Severus Snape stood up and commanded their attention. Once the great hall was utterly silent his face broke into a wicked grin.
"I have heard the most wonderful news today, it seems that I have recently become pregnant and I was wondering if anyone knew when and how this happened. Because there are a few potions that can cause a male pregnancy, but none have been brewed in this school for a long time after a potions accident ten years ago. But back to my news, I was also wondering if anyone new who the other parent was?"
The students sat there stunned, they couldn't believe that Snape was doing this.
"I have heard a few options; first being the headmaster," he shuddered, "Come on people, he's old enough to be my grandfather, no offence intended Albus. Another was professor McGonagall," he shuddered again, "That's just wrong, then of course it could be a virgin birth, but I'm not that innocent and know for a fact about the virginity issue."
Sinistra sat shaking from unreleased laughter at the head table; meanwhile at the gryffindor table all the students sat silently, all except one Neville Longbottom, who was cradling his head in his hand muttering, "I didn't need to know that, and, I'm going to be sick," over and over again.
"Now as absurd as all these ideas are the idea of me being pregnant is by far the most idiotic idea I have ever heard. When I find out who was behind this rumor I can guarantee that your house will be minus so many points that you will not and I repeat will not be able to win the house cup until your grandchildren are attending Hogwarts, did I make that clear!" he finished and swept out of the great hall in a billowing mass of black leaving the student and teachers stunned as staring after him. Slowly they all turned toward their plates and contemplated the odd things that happened regularly at Hogwarts and everyone had one thing on their minds: WTF.