| WHAT WE HAVE LOVED |
Finally got off my arse and added a new part to this story. Enjoy!
Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Smallville characters, but, if I had the choice, I'd make Tom Welling my manservant. All events in this piece are fictional and are from the matrix of my own mind. Please don't steal. It's wrong.
Though Some Have Changed :
"So, it's over?" Lana whimpered, as she sat in Clark's truck, "just like that?" She looked at Clark's saddened face and knew it was true. "Are you sure this is what you really want? I mean, we could start over again and maybe things would be different."
Clark shook his head. "I don't think so, Lana." He stared blankly at the sun casting ribbons of red and orange over the horizon. The last days of summer vacation were numbered and adulthood was just around the corner.
Lana was close to tears and she fought reasons in her mind over why Clark Kent, the only man who had ever been willing to vie for her honour, was deciding to call it quits. "Don't you love me?"
Clark turned to face Lana and noticed moist streaks on the apples of her cheek. He placed a hand on the side of her face and rubbed them away with his smooth thumb. "I do, Lana, but it's not the kind of love you need. It's not the kind I need."
Half of Smallville High's graduating class had already begun their departure to their future schools, homes, and lives. Clark wouldn't be one of them, as he finally received his acceptance into Kansas State University. He knew of one person whom he wanted to convince to stay in Smallville, to leave behind her journalism studies and Jeremy Kensington…for him.
"Lana," Clark continued, "you've been the only girl in my head for the past five years. You represented all I wanted out of life. And now I really don't think 'wanting' is the question. I'm not sure my fantasy about you and me is what I really need—"
"It's Chloe, isn't it?" Lana interrupted meekly. "You love her." She had never been surer of anything in her life. "Or you're in love with her—whatever that means." Clark failed to meet her eyes and she knew she was right in her assumption. At that moment, she wanted Chloe to hurt and she wanted Clark to turn his eyes away from Chloe in disgust. She wanted to spew fire. "I hope you know that she's not the girl you believe she is. She's not as chaste and pure as you think."
"What do you mean?" Clark asked Lana. His eyes narrowed. "Chloe wouldn't do anything—"
"She had sex with Jeremy," Lana spat out. The pain in Clark's eyes after her statement gave her enough fuel to keep talking. "I saw them right before everyone started heading to the event room at the prom. They were checking into a hotel room together."
Clark didn't know how to react. He remembered his argument with Chloe just moments before everyone had filed into the event room. He remembered accidentally tearing Chloe's dress. He remembered her saying that she didn't need him anymore. She had meant it.
Lana had indeed been his fantasy, but when he had put everything into place, he knew Chloe was the sole woman with whom he wanted to share complete intimacy. He had thought she felt the same, until now. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he knew Lana wouldn't lie about such a thing.
"I know how this must hurt you, Clark," Lana continued, "If you decide to go running after her because you think you know each other so well, you should know the truth."
The ride home with Lana was dead silent. Clark dropped her off at her home as his gaze lingered on the fading pink in her visage, the pink that he had dreamed of kissing as a young boy. But now as a man he knew rose-coloured glasses were not what he needed—he needed Chloe. Chloe and her sarcasm. Chloe and her smile. Chloe and her sweet laugh. His truck speedily headed towards the bus terminal.
But what of this news? He wasn't even certain now if he was making the right choice in begging Chloe to stay in Smallville. The tidings Lana had given him were too painful to come to terms with. And the worst is that they were true. Chloe had made love to someone else, someone who was not him. She didn't want him anymore and she didn't need him. Those were her exact words on the balcony. His temper flared and his mind went mad with jealousy. It was too much to handle. Too many problems arose with the prospect of Chloe. In the end, would it be worth it? Was she even the same Chloe he had known only a year ago? Clark had no other choice. He spun the truck around and headed to his own home, determined to lose his love for Chloe Sullivan and never look back.
* * * * * * *
Her bus's departure was in fifteen minutes and Chloe was still shoveling through miscellaneous items in her room. It seemed to be becoming a ritual. But all that would change soon. In a month, actually. She spied her acceptance letter into the Metropolis School of Journalism on her dresser, momentarily remembering her jubilation when she first discovered that she had been accepted, and shoved it into her carrier bag. Still, she continued rifling through her drawers.
"Where is it?" Chloe shouted in the privacy of her bedroom. The blue envelope had gone missing. She was sure she had brought it home from the prom in her little red purse, but it was nowhere to be found. Had she dropped it somewhere? Had her father found it and tossed it into the trash? Maybe it's better that way, Chloe thought to herself. I have to leave everything behind here in Smallville, or I will never live a happy day after this.
"Chloe!" Gabe Sullivan's voice bellowed from downstairs. "We're going to be late! Is this going to become a habit for Smallville's very own reporter on her way to the top?"
"I'm coming, Dad," Chloe called back. Perhaps it was time to give up that blue envelope and the feelings tucked away inside of it. Yes, it was.
Her father gave her warnings about Metropolis's lascivious nightlife during the car ride to the bus station. "I want you remember to keep pepper spray with you at all times. I'll mail you a bottle."
"I'm sure the post office would love to see that in an x-ray. Considering the anthrax scare they've been having recently, it should be a breath of fresh air," Chloe taunted her dad.
"I'm not kidding, young lady," Gabe warned her. "Metropolis has a lot of criminals, way more than Smallville. It could use a helpful lad like Clark Kent."
Chloe stifled her heart's anguish when she heard that name.
"Oh, and before I forget," Gabe continued, "I found this in the hall of the house. Is it yours?" He pulled a blue envelope from the pocket of his jacket and handed it to Chloe.
Chloe noted Clark's name on the front and saw that the envelope was open. "Did you read it?" Chloe cried out as she angrily grabbed the letter from her father's hands.
"Sheesh," Gabe remarked as his daughter quickly threw the envelope into her plump bag. "No, I didn't read it. It wasn't even sealed when I found it."
"Right," Chloe whispered as she remembered not licking the envelope shut. She had battled with the urge to take the letter out and stuff a sappy "Congrats!" card for graduation in the blue envelope instead. "Sorry for pouncing on you like that," she apologized. She gave her father a warm smile.
"I understand," Gabe replied. "Your break-up with Jeremy was only what, two days ago? Obviously, you're on edge."
Chloe nodded. She had told Jeremy that she couldn't love him that way he wanted her to. No matter what, she would always love Clark. Of course, she didn't tell Jeremy that one fact, but he still didn't take her breaking up with him easily. The night they had shared in the hotel room meant something to him, more than it meant to Chloe. She felt dastardly to have slept with Jeremy in her muddled state of mind that evening; she never thought she'd be the one to do something so despicable, to seek solace in such an atrocious fashion. Not only did she not want Jeremy's love, she didn't deserve it. She felt vile and wretched. If Clark ever learned the truth of her actions on prom night, she was convinced he would never want to speak to her again, either.
The two Sullivans pulled into the bus terminal and watched as Pete's familiar red minivan parked in the spot right beside them. Pete got out of his car and gave Gabe a handshake. "I told you I'd come see you off, Chloe," he said as he turned to the college-bound lass.
Chloe threw her arms around her dear friend as her father unpacked her luggage from the trunk of the car. "Thanks, Pete. It feels so weird to be leaving this place permanently. I'll miss high school, the Torch, you, and…." Chloe cut her sentence off before she revealed any more.
"You'll miss Clark," Pete said shrewdly. "I know how you feel about him."
"Correction: felt. As in the past, as in no longer the present or the future," Chloe quickly rebutted.
"Alright," Pete gave in. "I know how you felt about Clark. But running away from him won't erase the history you two have. And, even more, it won't mend the mistakes that both of you made."
"Mistakes…" Chloe whispered under her breath. She had slept with Jeremy. That was her mistake—she could never forgive herself. All these years she believed that if she ever gave herself to any man, if would be Clark Kent. "Well, things don't always go the way we plan," Chloe told her friend. Pete only nodded as Gabe approached them with Chloe's luggage.
"Do you have everything now?" Gabe asked his daughter. "Luggage? Ticket? Money?"
Chloe laughed, "Dad, relax. I have everything I need." Maybe not everything I need. She gave both her father and Pete a long hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be fine. I'll give you guys a call as soon as I get to the dormitory." She climbed into the bus and handed the driver her ticket. She didn't shed a tear as she watched her doting father climb back into his grey sedan and her good friend, his minivan. After she had taken her seat and the bus started moving away from the station, Chloe looked back and searched the station for the one person who could ever make her agree to stay behind in Smallville. He was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, she began to cry.