"You didn't tell your friends about our agreement, did you," Brian laughed, pressing the unlock button on his key chain.
"What clued you in? The bulging eyes, the soaring eyebrows... or was it the little strands of drool sliding off their lower lips?"
"It all helped," Brian said, opening the car door. "So how come you didn't tell them?"
"They'll still be bringing it up when I'm on my deathbed, for one thing... not to mention that my roommate will be keeping a seven-foot distance from me at all times now."
Brian slid into the car. "So just tell him about the bet, and take him out to dinner with your winnings. That's how I convinced my boyfriend to let me do this."
"You know, I'm really going to *enjoy* sending Lowell into abject poverty," Chandler smirked, buckling his seatbelt.
"Oh, not as much as I will," Brian grinned. "You know, I dated him for like, five minutes. Five god-awful, horrendous, minutes."
"You didn't."
Brian rolled his eyes. "You don't even want to know how long of a dry spell made me desperate enough for *that*." He pulled out into traffic. "So... the tall one, that's your roommate?"
"No-no, that's Ross," Chandler replied. "My roommate's the Italian one."
"Really? *In-ter-est-ing*."
"Why-why? What's *in-ter-est-ing* about that?"
"Well, gotta tell you, he sent my bi-dar *all* a-beepin'. Didn't figure him for the seven-foot distance guy."
"Well," Chandler laughed, "I hope your 'bi-dar' is still under warranty... because the guy puts Wilt Chamberlain into the amateur leagues. Trojan has stock in *him*, okay?"
"Ahhhhh," Brian said knowingly. "One of *those*."
"One of *those*... what?"
"Oh-ver-com-pen-saaaaaa-tion," Brian sang, putting on his blinker.
"Sorry, but no," Chandler said firmly.
"Hey, it's classic," Brian added. "Look, my last boyfriend -- he spent *years* in denial before he finally came out. Couldn't ever commit to a woman or have a real relationship with one... but, y'know, compulsively stuck it in pretty much every one he met, just trying to prove to himself that he wasn't what he didn't want to admit he ever-so-very-much-was. It's cliche, really, his parents were religious, he had this gay uncle the whole family had spent his whole life violently disapproving of, y'know..."
"You don't know Joey, okay?"
"Sure, sure," Brian said soothingly. "Consider it dropped. Now, this party tonight. Who, specifically, did you start bets with?"
"Miranda," Chandler said, ticking off names on his fingers. "Myra, Bob and Sarah in Purchasing. Janie the copy girl, Beth, Elaine, and Steve, pretty much everyone in Accounts Payable..."
"I got pretty much everyone in Accounts Receivable," Brian added. "Good thing Payable and Receivable hate each other. I also got a bunch of guys from Tech Support and Marketing."
"Oh my *god*... how much money is this up to now?"
Brian grinned widely. "Three thousand *each*, at least, if we can pull this off."
"Holy crap," Chandler said in awe.
"Feelin' pretty gay now?"
"Three thousand bucks? I will flame like the fire of a thousand suns."
***
"Hey, guys," Brian called out, pulling Chandler by the hand over to a group of twentysomething males. "How's the tech supporting?"
"Hey, Bri," a guy with long sandy hair replied, then did a double take. "Hey... Bing..."
"Howdy, Steve," Chandler grinned, moving a lock of Brian's hair away from his forehead affectionately. "How was the convention? Did your Klingon head turn out okay?"
"You guys are... together?" Steve asked, looking at the other guys nervously.
"Yup," Brian smiled, squeezing Chandler's hand.
"I t-thought you were straight, Bing," Steve whined. "Like... super-straight. I saw you with that girl... that really hot girl..."
"My friend Rachel?" Chandler scratched his nose innocently. "She is really gorgeous, yeah. What I wouldn't give to have that hair!"
"So she *wasn't* your girlfriend," another man drawled sarcastically, glaring at one who looked at his shoes miserably. "Gee, *that's* funny. Ralph here said she *was*, and we all *believed* him."
"You guys seem... awfully *upset* about this," Chandler said in mock concern. "Is this gonna be a... a *problem*?"
"Oh no... no, no, no," Steve said hastily. "We're all just surprised, that's all. Um, cause we thought that girl was your girlfriend. But we wish you all the best, we do. You guys make a, um, really cute couple."
"Well, I certainly think so," Chandler smiled, kissing Brian on the cheek.
"Well, we've gotta mingle," Brian cooed, then turned a calculating eye on the tech support guys. "But I'll see *you* guys later." He made money-counting motions with his hands.
Chandler and Brian walked away, stifling laughter as the tech-support guys began yelling at Ralph.
***
"Bullshit," Lowell said flatly.
"Excuse me?" Chandler asked in his most offended tone.
"I said bullshit," Lowell repeated. "There's no way you two are together. Chandler, you told me yourself that you were straight."
"Look, Lowell, I... I'm just not attracted to you," Chandler sighed. "Telling you I was straight just seemed like the easiest way out of an awkward situation."
"Sorry, I'm not buying it," Lowell said. "I'm gonna need evidence."
"Look, Lowell, I don't carry around sex tapes in my pocket. You're just going to have to believe me."
"When five hundred bucks is on the line, I don't have to believe anything," Lowell crossed his arms and glared defiantly. "I'm gonna have to see some PDA, at least."
"I'm not going to let you watch my boyfriend and I make out, you freak."
"Yeah, that's right. Because you don't have a boyfriend, and you don't make out."
"Is the little man harassing you, baby?" Brian grinned, sliding his arms around Chandler from behind.
"See? Ha. You jumped," Lowell said smugly. "Your so-called 'lover' puts his arms around you, and you *jump*. Could you *be* any straighter, Bing?"
"He surprised me," Chandler said defensively.
"What's this?" Brian asked, settling his chin on Chandler's shoulder.
"Lowell doesn't believe we're together, honey," Chandler replied.
"You're such a cretin, Lowell."
"And you're a big fat fake, Brian. C'mon. Let's see the 'happy couple' kiss."
"I didn't realize you liked to watch," Brian smirked, eyebrow soaring.
"C'mon, Brian," Chandler said. "Let's just go."
"Now, now, sweetie," Brian replied, running Chandler's tie through his hands. "The sad little man wants a show."
"Yeah, Brian, kiss the straight boy," Lowell chuckled. "I'd like to see him set a sprinting record."
Chandler grabbed Brian's face in both hands and planted one on him. Brian kissed back passionately, wrapping his arms around Chandler and pulling him close to him. After a few seconds, they broke off and turned to face Lowell.
"Now, did that... satisfy you, or do we need to get naked right here in front of God and the bean dip?" Brian laughed.
"Wow," Lowell said. "You *are* gay, Bing. I'm sorry... wow... I'm an asshole."
"Yes, you are," Chandler smiled. "*Now* can we go, sweetie?"
"Sure," Brian grinned. "Let's go talk to Myra."
***
Chandler reached for a beer, thought better of it, and grabbed a Tropical Breeze wine cooler, one eye on Brian in the corner, collecting wads of cash from the tech support guys.
"Hey, Toby," said a voice over his shoulder.
"Hey, Bob," he sighed.
"Hey, did you hear?" Bob asked, twisting the top off a beer. "Chandler in Processing's gay!"
"No way," Chandler said, looking around nervously.
"Oh yeah! I just talked to Lowell! He said he was so sure that the guy was straight, but then he saw him making out with Brian Stephens from Payroll. It sucks, 'cause a bunch of guys in my department had a bet with Brian that he couldn't make Chandler, y'know, bat for the team."
"Really...?"
"Yeah. The guys in my group were pretty sure this Chandler guy was straight, but... Lowell said no straight guy could kiss another guy like that."
"Well, maybe he's just a very talented actor... this... Chandler guy..."
"Yeah, right! Seeya, Toby."
"Seeya, Bob."
"Did that guy just call you 'Toby'?" Brian asked, grabbing a beer.
"Yeah. Long story. How'd you do on the Tech Support guys?"
"Fabulous. And Accounts Payable?"
"Ah, they all saw our little display back there, I've got a whole walletful of payables now."
"So you got yourself a Brian," Brian grinned, taking a sip of his beer.
"And you converted a Chandler."
They clinked their bottles together.
"Seriously, Bing, a wine cooler? Cliche!"
"Sorry, man, I'm new at this."
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but you are a *fabulous* kisser."
"Thanks," Chandler said shyly, picking at his drink label. "You're not so bad yourself."
"Sure you're straight? It's *such* a waste."
"Pretty sure..."
"Only pretty sure?" Brian's eyebrow soared again.
"Well, I did just make out with you in front of the entire Accounts Payable department..."
"Speaking of which, my girls from Receivable are giving us the eye. Repeat performance, okay?"
Chandler stepped into Brian's arms and kissed him again.
"Well, now we know what you'll do for three grand," Brian laughed. "Wonder what you'd do for six?"
"Let's hope I never, never find that out," Chandler grinned.
***
"Three thousand one hundred and twenty... three thousand one hundred and forty... and three quarters," Brian said, counting off into Chandler's palm. "Not bad for a night's work, eh, Bing?"
Chandler stuck the money into his wallet. "Hey, Brian... can I ask you a question?"
"Anything, my partner in crime."
"Do I... set off your gaydar?"
Brian smiled sweetly. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"
"Yeah, yeah, I think I do."
"On a scale of one to ten... you're a five, I think," Brian straightened Chandler's collar. "I'd say you're a go-either-way-er, the kind that gets to decide. Me, the decision was made for."
"Okay," Chandler said awkwardly.
"You're a cute kid," Brian said, giving Chandler a kiss on the cheek. "I had fun tonight. Just so you know... if Brian didn't have a boyfriend, you could *totally* get a Brian."
"Good to know."
"Bye," Brian said, and disappeared down the stairs.
Chandler watched him go, then turned back to the green door. Explaining this to Joey was *not* going to be fun.
He pushed the door open, blinking at the darkness inside. Was Joey already in bed?
"Hey," a voice called from the barcoloungerial area.
"Joe? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"
"Just thinkin'."
"Thinking," Chandler said dubiously.
"I do that sometimes!"
"Well, I'm turning on the light," Chandler said, flipping the switch. He looked at Joey and did a double take. "Joe... have you been crying?"
"Yeah," Joey said. "I spilled some salt, y'know, and I was gonna throw it over my shoulder... but the duck bit me, and I accidentally threw it in my eyes. Burned like hell. It's why I had the lights off... the light kinda hurts."
"Oh god, sorry," Chandler said, hurriedly flipping the switch back down.
"How was your date?"
"Oh, Joey, look, I have to explain about that..."
"You don't have to explain nothin' to me," Joey said. "I'm fine with it. He seems like a nice guy."
"No, no, it... it wasn't a real date. It was a bet."
"You don't need to make stuff up, man, I said I was fine with it."
"No, really. It was a bet. I can explain the whole thing."
Joey let out an obviously fake yawn. "Let's talk about this in the morning."
"I'd really rather..."
"I would *like*... to talk about this... in the *morning*."
"Sure, Joe," Chandler said miserably. He heard Joey's door slam and walked cautiously towards his own, feeling his way along in the dark.
***
Chandler pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across a chair, sighing heavily. Joey's reaction wasn't what he'd expected at all... in a weird way, it had actually been worse.
"Hey," a voice hissed behind him.
He whirled. "Joe?"
"No, no, it's me... Rach." She stepped forward and closed his bedroom door behind her.
"Um... hi... what's up?"
"I heard you come in. I thought you might need someone to talk to." She moved into the light from the window and hugged her bathrobe around her.
"Look, Rach... I appreciate it, but... this is all a misunderstanding..."
"I had a bisexual experience in college," Rachel blurted.
Chandler's eyebrows soared with interest. "W-well, you should definitely tell me all about *that*, i-in great detail...!"
Rachel lay down on the bed, and Chandler stretched out next to her.
"It was this girl named Melissa at my sorority, at this party... we were both a little drunk... okay, a lot drunk..."
"Yuh-huh," Chandler nodded happily.
"And we... well, you know, made out for a while. And I liked it, maybe a little more than I was comfortable with. You know? And I still think about it, sometimes, when I'm... anyway, I kinda think that if I, y'know, made the decision to live life differently... well, that I could."
Rachel touched Chandler's cheek affectionately. "Just so you know you're not alone."
"You're really gonna kick my ass when I tell you I dated Brian on a bet, aren't you?" Chandler grinned.
"Oh... oh... you creep!!" Rachel shrieked, grabbing Chandler's pillow and beating him with it. "You let me tell that whole story!"
Chandler caught her by the wrists and laughed. "Rach... Rach. *Thank you* for telling me that story. In all seriousness... I think I liked tonight a little more than I was comfortable with, too."
Rachel sat back. "You did? Really?"
"So what'd you do about the... Melissa thing? Did you ever do anything like that again?"
"No," Rachel sighed. "It's just... something that sort of lives in the back of my brain, I guess. I mean, don't they say that everyone is a little bit bi? I'm pretty sure Phoebe is, anyway."
"What about Joey?"
"Joey?"
"It's something my date said. He said Joey set off his 'bi-dar'."
"Joey, the manslut of the West Village," Rachel said incredulously.
"Brian said that was classic -- overcompensating, he called it."
"Huh," Rachel said, flopping back onto the bed. "Well, y'know, I did have that dream... y'know, with me, and you, and Joey... and at the time I was dreaming it, I mean, it just sort of seemed... natural."
"Natural, huh," Chandler mused.
"Well, yeah. I don't know, really. Chandler... do you ever feel like... we're all sort of... I dunno, pigeonholed? Penned in?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's like we all have this... this role to play, you know? Monica the neat freak, Ross the geek. Chandler 'the funny one', Joey 'the slow one', Phoebe 'the hippie', me the... oh, I don't know... the shallow one, or the wimp, or the brat, or something..."
Chandler rolled up onto an elbow and looked at Rachel. She did the same.
"Don't you feel like all of us are... more than that? Or we could be, if we'd let each other? It just seems like we're all... sort of a force that keeps each other the same."
"I guess I can see that," he swallowed.
"You wanna kiss me," Rachel smiled.
"Yeah, I... I do. Not gonna, though. And it's your fault for telling me hot lesbian stories."
"I dunno," Rachel sighed, rolling onto her stomach. "It's just... I want something more, I want to do more stuff before I die than just sit in the coffeeshop. I want to try more things, try on some different Rachels, I guess. But we have such a comfortable thing here, with the six of us, and our little lives, you know. I don't want to give that up, either."
Rachel reached out and took Chandler's hand. "Don't you feel it, though? Something coming, some huge change? I don't know if it's me, or you, or neither one of us... but it's like pressure building up... and eventually, it's gonna blow. I've been feeling it for months... when Ross and I broke up, I thought that had to be it, but... it wasn't, at least not completely."
"I don't know, Rach. Honestly, I don't know much of anything right now. It's been a hell of a confusing night, and this conversation's just making it weirder."
"I wish I could sleep here, I'm comfy," Rachel yawned. "Ross would kill you, though."
"Yes, yes he would."
"So I'm gonna go," she smiled, and kissed his forehead. "Love you, honey."
"Love you, too." He watched her go, then laid back on his back, arms folded beneath his head.
What the hell was happening here?
"What clued you in? The bulging eyes, the soaring eyebrows... or was it the little strands of drool sliding off their lower lips?"
"It all helped," Brian said, opening the car door. "So how come you didn't tell them?"
"They'll still be bringing it up when I'm on my deathbed, for one thing... not to mention that my roommate will be keeping a seven-foot distance from me at all times now."
Brian slid into the car. "So just tell him about the bet, and take him out to dinner with your winnings. That's how I convinced my boyfriend to let me do this."
"You know, I'm really going to *enjoy* sending Lowell into abject poverty," Chandler smirked, buckling his seatbelt.
"Oh, not as much as I will," Brian grinned. "You know, I dated him for like, five minutes. Five god-awful, horrendous, minutes."
"You didn't."
Brian rolled his eyes. "You don't even want to know how long of a dry spell made me desperate enough for *that*." He pulled out into traffic. "So... the tall one, that's your roommate?"
"No-no, that's Ross," Chandler replied. "My roommate's the Italian one."
"Really? *In-ter-est-ing*."
"Why-why? What's *in-ter-est-ing* about that?"
"Well, gotta tell you, he sent my bi-dar *all* a-beepin'. Didn't figure him for the seven-foot distance guy."
"Well," Chandler laughed, "I hope your 'bi-dar' is still under warranty... because the guy puts Wilt Chamberlain into the amateur leagues. Trojan has stock in *him*, okay?"
"Ahhhhh," Brian said knowingly. "One of *those*."
"One of *those*... what?"
"Oh-ver-com-pen-saaaaaa-tion," Brian sang, putting on his blinker.
"Sorry, but no," Chandler said firmly.
"Hey, it's classic," Brian added. "Look, my last boyfriend -- he spent *years* in denial before he finally came out. Couldn't ever commit to a woman or have a real relationship with one... but, y'know, compulsively stuck it in pretty much every one he met, just trying to prove to himself that he wasn't what he didn't want to admit he ever-so-very-much-was. It's cliche, really, his parents were religious, he had this gay uncle the whole family had spent his whole life violently disapproving of, y'know..."
"You don't know Joey, okay?"
"Sure, sure," Brian said soothingly. "Consider it dropped. Now, this party tonight. Who, specifically, did you start bets with?"
"Miranda," Chandler said, ticking off names on his fingers. "Myra, Bob and Sarah in Purchasing. Janie the copy girl, Beth, Elaine, and Steve, pretty much everyone in Accounts Payable..."
"I got pretty much everyone in Accounts Receivable," Brian added. "Good thing Payable and Receivable hate each other. I also got a bunch of guys from Tech Support and Marketing."
"Oh my *god*... how much money is this up to now?"
Brian grinned widely. "Three thousand *each*, at least, if we can pull this off."
"Holy crap," Chandler said in awe.
"Feelin' pretty gay now?"
"Three thousand bucks? I will flame like the fire of a thousand suns."
***
"Hey, guys," Brian called out, pulling Chandler by the hand over to a group of twentysomething males. "How's the tech supporting?"
"Hey, Bri," a guy with long sandy hair replied, then did a double take. "Hey... Bing..."
"Howdy, Steve," Chandler grinned, moving a lock of Brian's hair away from his forehead affectionately. "How was the convention? Did your Klingon head turn out okay?"
"You guys are... together?" Steve asked, looking at the other guys nervously.
"Yup," Brian smiled, squeezing Chandler's hand.
"I t-thought you were straight, Bing," Steve whined. "Like... super-straight. I saw you with that girl... that really hot girl..."
"My friend Rachel?" Chandler scratched his nose innocently. "She is really gorgeous, yeah. What I wouldn't give to have that hair!"
"So she *wasn't* your girlfriend," another man drawled sarcastically, glaring at one who looked at his shoes miserably. "Gee, *that's* funny. Ralph here said she *was*, and we all *believed* him."
"You guys seem... awfully *upset* about this," Chandler said in mock concern. "Is this gonna be a... a *problem*?"
"Oh no... no, no, no," Steve said hastily. "We're all just surprised, that's all. Um, cause we thought that girl was your girlfriend. But we wish you all the best, we do. You guys make a, um, really cute couple."
"Well, I certainly think so," Chandler smiled, kissing Brian on the cheek.
"Well, we've gotta mingle," Brian cooed, then turned a calculating eye on the tech support guys. "But I'll see *you* guys later." He made money-counting motions with his hands.
Chandler and Brian walked away, stifling laughter as the tech-support guys began yelling at Ralph.
***
"Bullshit," Lowell said flatly.
"Excuse me?" Chandler asked in his most offended tone.
"I said bullshit," Lowell repeated. "There's no way you two are together. Chandler, you told me yourself that you were straight."
"Look, Lowell, I... I'm just not attracted to you," Chandler sighed. "Telling you I was straight just seemed like the easiest way out of an awkward situation."
"Sorry, I'm not buying it," Lowell said. "I'm gonna need evidence."
"Look, Lowell, I don't carry around sex tapes in my pocket. You're just going to have to believe me."
"When five hundred bucks is on the line, I don't have to believe anything," Lowell crossed his arms and glared defiantly. "I'm gonna have to see some PDA, at least."
"I'm not going to let you watch my boyfriend and I make out, you freak."
"Yeah, that's right. Because you don't have a boyfriend, and you don't make out."
"Is the little man harassing you, baby?" Brian grinned, sliding his arms around Chandler from behind.
"See? Ha. You jumped," Lowell said smugly. "Your so-called 'lover' puts his arms around you, and you *jump*. Could you *be* any straighter, Bing?"
"He surprised me," Chandler said defensively.
"What's this?" Brian asked, settling his chin on Chandler's shoulder.
"Lowell doesn't believe we're together, honey," Chandler replied.
"You're such a cretin, Lowell."
"And you're a big fat fake, Brian. C'mon. Let's see the 'happy couple' kiss."
"I didn't realize you liked to watch," Brian smirked, eyebrow soaring.
"C'mon, Brian," Chandler said. "Let's just go."
"Now, now, sweetie," Brian replied, running Chandler's tie through his hands. "The sad little man wants a show."
"Yeah, Brian, kiss the straight boy," Lowell chuckled. "I'd like to see him set a sprinting record."
Chandler grabbed Brian's face in both hands and planted one on him. Brian kissed back passionately, wrapping his arms around Chandler and pulling him close to him. After a few seconds, they broke off and turned to face Lowell.
"Now, did that... satisfy you, or do we need to get naked right here in front of God and the bean dip?" Brian laughed.
"Wow," Lowell said. "You *are* gay, Bing. I'm sorry... wow... I'm an asshole."
"Yes, you are," Chandler smiled. "*Now* can we go, sweetie?"
"Sure," Brian grinned. "Let's go talk to Myra."
***
Chandler reached for a beer, thought better of it, and grabbed a Tropical Breeze wine cooler, one eye on Brian in the corner, collecting wads of cash from the tech support guys.
"Hey, Toby," said a voice over his shoulder.
"Hey, Bob," he sighed.
"Hey, did you hear?" Bob asked, twisting the top off a beer. "Chandler in Processing's gay!"
"No way," Chandler said, looking around nervously.
"Oh yeah! I just talked to Lowell! He said he was so sure that the guy was straight, but then he saw him making out with Brian Stephens from Payroll. It sucks, 'cause a bunch of guys in my department had a bet with Brian that he couldn't make Chandler, y'know, bat for the team."
"Really...?"
"Yeah. The guys in my group were pretty sure this Chandler guy was straight, but... Lowell said no straight guy could kiss another guy like that."
"Well, maybe he's just a very talented actor... this... Chandler guy..."
"Yeah, right! Seeya, Toby."
"Seeya, Bob."
"Did that guy just call you 'Toby'?" Brian asked, grabbing a beer.
"Yeah. Long story. How'd you do on the Tech Support guys?"
"Fabulous. And Accounts Payable?"
"Ah, they all saw our little display back there, I've got a whole walletful of payables now."
"So you got yourself a Brian," Brian grinned, taking a sip of his beer.
"And you converted a Chandler."
They clinked their bottles together.
"Seriously, Bing, a wine cooler? Cliche!"
"Sorry, man, I'm new at this."
"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but you are a *fabulous* kisser."
"Thanks," Chandler said shyly, picking at his drink label. "You're not so bad yourself."
"Sure you're straight? It's *such* a waste."
"Pretty sure..."
"Only pretty sure?" Brian's eyebrow soared again.
"Well, I did just make out with you in front of the entire Accounts Payable department..."
"Speaking of which, my girls from Receivable are giving us the eye. Repeat performance, okay?"
Chandler stepped into Brian's arms and kissed him again.
"Well, now we know what you'll do for three grand," Brian laughed. "Wonder what you'd do for six?"
"Let's hope I never, never find that out," Chandler grinned.
***
"Three thousand one hundred and twenty... three thousand one hundred and forty... and three quarters," Brian said, counting off into Chandler's palm. "Not bad for a night's work, eh, Bing?"
Chandler stuck the money into his wallet. "Hey, Brian... can I ask you a question?"
"Anything, my partner in crime."
"Do I... set off your gaydar?"
Brian smiled sweetly. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"
"Yeah, yeah, I think I do."
"On a scale of one to ten... you're a five, I think," Brian straightened Chandler's collar. "I'd say you're a go-either-way-er, the kind that gets to decide. Me, the decision was made for."
"Okay," Chandler said awkwardly.
"You're a cute kid," Brian said, giving Chandler a kiss on the cheek. "I had fun tonight. Just so you know... if Brian didn't have a boyfriend, you could *totally* get a Brian."
"Good to know."
"Bye," Brian said, and disappeared down the stairs.
Chandler watched him go, then turned back to the green door. Explaining this to Joey was *not* going to be fun.
He pushed the door open, blinking at the darkness inside. Was Joey already in bed?
"Hey," a voice called from the barcoloungerial area.
"Joe? What are you doing sitting in the dark?"
"Just thinkin'."
"Thinking," Chandler said dubiously.
"I do that sometimes!"
"Well, I'm turning on the light," Chandler said, flipping the switch. He looked at Joey and did a double take. "Joe... have you been crying?"
"Yeah," Joey said. "I spilled some salt, y'know, and I was gonna throw it over my shoulder... but the duck bit me, and I accidentally threw it in my eyes. Burned like hell. It's why I had the lights off... the light kinda hurts."
"Oh god, sorry," Chandler said, hurriedly flipping the switch back down.
"How was your date?"
"Oh, Joey, look, I have to explain about that..."
"You don't have to explain nothin' to me," Joey said. "I'm fine with it. He seems like a nice guy."
"No, no, it... it wasn't a real date. It was a bet."
"You don't need to make stuff up, man, I said I was fine with it."
"No, really. It was a bet. I can explain the whole thing."
Joey let out an obviously fake yawn. "Let's talk about this in the morning."
"I'd really rather..."
"I would *like*... to talk about this... in the *morning*."
"Sure, Joe," Chandler said miserably. He heard Joey's door slam and walked cautiously towards his own, feeling his way along in the dark.
***
Chandler pulled his shirt over his head and threw it across a chair, sighing heavily. Joey's reaction wasn't what he'd expected at all... in a weird way, it had actually been worse.
"Hey," a voice hissed behind him.
He whirled. "Joe?"
"No, no, it's me... Rach." She stepped forward and closed his bedroom door behind her.
"Um... hi... what's up?"
"I heard you come in. I thought you might need someone to talk to." She moved into the light from the window and hugged her bathrobe around her.
"Look, Rach... I appreciate it, but... this is all a misunderstanding..."
"I had a bisexual experience in college," Rachel blurted.
Chandler's eyebrows soared with interest. "W-well, you should definitely tell me all about *that*, i-in great detail...!"
Rachel lay down on the bed, and Chandler stretched out next to her.
"It was this girl named Melissa at my sorority, at this party... we were both a little drunk... okay, a lot drunk..."
"Yuh-huh," Chandler nodded happily.
"And we... well, you know, made out for a while. And I liked it, maybe a little more than I was comfortable with. You know? And I still think about it, sometimes, when I'm... anyway, I kinda think that if I, y'know, made the decision to live life differently... well, that I could."
Rachel touched Chandler's cheek affectionately. "Just so you know you're not alone."
"You're really gonna kick my ass when I tell you I dated Brian on a bet, aren't you?" Chandler grinned.
"Oh... oh... you creep!!" Rachel shrieked, grabbing Chandler's pillow and beating him with it. "You let me tell that whole story!"
Chandler caught her by the wrists and laughed. "Rach... Rach. *Thank you* for telling me that story. In all seriousness... I think I liked tonight a little more than I was comfortable with, too."
Rachel sat back. "You did? Really?"
"So what'd you do about the... Melissa thing? Did you ever do anything like that again?"
"No," Rachel sighed. "It's just... something that sort of lives in the back of my brain, I guess. I mean, don't they say that everyone is a little bit bi? I'm pretty sure Phoebe is, anyway."
"What about Joey?"
"Joey?"
"It's something my date said. He said Joey set off his 'bi-dar'."
"Joey, the manslut of the West Village," Rachel said incredulously.
"Brian said that was classic -- overcompensating, he called it."
"Huh," Rachel said, flopping back onto the bed. "Well, y'know, I did have that dream... y'know, with me, and you, and Joey... and at the time I was dreaming it, I mean, it just sort of seemed... natural."
"Natural, huh," Chandler mused.
"Well, yeah. I don't know, really. Chandler... do you ever feel like... we're all sort of... I dunno, pigeonholed? Penned in?"
"What do you mean?"
"It's like we all have this... this role to play, you know? Monica the neat freak, Ross the geek. Chandler 'the funny one', Joey 'the slow one', Phoebe 'the hippie', me the... oh, I don't know... the shallow one, or the wimp, or the brat, or something..."
Chandler rolled up onto an elbow and looked at Rachel. She did the same.
"Don't you feel like all of us are... more than that? Or we could be, if we'd let each other? It just seems like we're all... sort of a force that keeps each other the same."
"I guess I can see that," he swallowed.
"You wanna kiss me," Rachel smiled.
"Yeah, I... I do. Not gonna, though. And it's your fault for telling me hot lesbian stories."
"I dunno," Rachel sighed, rolling onto her stomach. "It's just... I want something more, I want to do more stuff before I die than just sit in the coffeeshop. I want to try more things, try on some different Rachels, I guess. But we have such a comfortable thing here, with the six of us, and our little lives, you know. I don't want to give that up, either."
Rachel reached out and took Chandler's hand. "Don't you feel it, though? Something coming, some huge change? I don't know if it's me, or you, or neither one of us... but it's like pressure building up... and eventually, it's gonna blow. I've been feeling it for months... when Ross and I broke up, I thought that had to be it, but... it wasn't, at least not completely."
"I don't know, Rach. Honestly, I don't know much of anything right now. It's been a hell of a confusing night, and this conversation's just making it weirder."
"I wish I could sleep here, I'm comfy," Rachel yawned. "Ross would kill you, though."
"Yes, yes he would."
"So I'm gonna go," she smiled, and kissed his forehead. "Love you, honey."
"Love you, too." He watched her go, then laid back on his back, arms folded beneath his head.
What the hell was happening here?