THIRTY-FOUR

                The day dawned with a promise of beautiful weather.  The sun was shining, the breeze was light and if it had been any other day, it would have been perfect.  But standing in the cemetery, next to her brother's open gravesite, Jindra Roh saw nothing of the day through her falling tears.

                The service at the academy had been quite lengthy, with many of Coren's friends and former instructor's wishing to speak.   Jindra had been surprised, and touched, when Anton Lefebvre had stepped up to the podium to speak.  He didn't speak very long, just a few minutes, but what he had said had been very heartfelt and Jindra could see the tears that glistened in Anton's eyes as he finished and stepped down.   As he left the raised the platform to return to his seat with the other bearers, Anton glanced in her direction and Jindra could see the shadows under his eyes and the pain on his face.  She knew that Coren and Anton had been friends, but now she could see just how deeply Anton's friendship with her brother had gone; and once again, she felt herself wanting to reach out to the dark-haired man.

                Jindra stood next to her father, while her mother and grandfather were on his other side.  Erich had taken his daughter's hand and held it tightly as Coren's casket was lowered into the ground.  As the bearers finished, Jindra turned her face away and pressed it into the fabric of her father's sleeve.  She bit her lip as she tried to hold back the sobs that racked her body.  As the service came to a close, Jindra tried to calm herself and regain her composure.  She pulled away from her father, but did not let go of his hand.  As the ceremony ended, several of the mourners gathered to toss flowers into the open grave. Jindra saw Simon and Petra Kaberle, Commandant Varada and several others as they bid their final farewells to her brother.   Jindra was forced to let go of her father's hand as people approached her to offer their sympathies once again.

                As the other mourners slowly departed, Jindra watched as her grandfather approached Coren's grave and whispered a few words to the memory of his grandson.  Jindra's parents then came forward, with Doreena leaning heavily on her husband's arm for support.  The two stood there for several minutes, silently saying their goodbyes to their son.   Erich hugged his wife as the tears ran unchecked down his face.  After a few more moments, he pulled away from her a little and gently led her back towards their waiting daughter. 

                Jindra clutched several of the white lilies to her chest as she watched her parents.  She knew that it was her turn to say goodbye, but she couldn't make herself move forward.  It was almost as if she had no control over her own body -- like her limbs were frozen.  Her eyes filled with tears and she started to tremble. Taking several deep breaths, she tried to gather her strength.  With an effort, she pushed herself forward.

                As she stood at the edge of Coren's grave, she could see his flower-strewn casket and the reality of all that had happened hit her full force.  Unable to hold herself together any longer, Jindra fell to her knees with a sob.  "I want my brother back!  It's not fair!  Please - give me my brother back!"  She flung the flowers down and wrapped her arms around herself as she cried.

                Erich Roh watched his daughter break down.  As he was about go to her, he saw Anton Lefebvre step forward and rush to her side.  The young man knelt down and put his arms around Jindra's shoulders.  The man looked up at Erich as if seeking his approval and Erich nodded back, grateful that Lefebvre had remained behind.  He watched as the young man bent his head towards his daughter, softly speaking to her.  It was several minutes before Jindra calmed down and allowed Anton to help her up.

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                Folken stood apart from the other mourners, across the cemetery.  He had quietly slipped in to the back of the hall for the funeral service and then followed the solemn procession to the cemetery.  He hated hiding, for Coren had been his friend as well; but he didn't want to upset Erich and Doreena Roh any further.  With tears in his eyes, Folken watched as his friend was laid to rest.

                As the last of the mourners departed, Folken saw that a few people had remained behind with Jindra and her family.   One of the men bore a very striking resemblance to Doreena Roh and he wondered if perhaps he was her brother.  He watched the small group as they approached the grave and said their final goodbyes.

                Folken's tears ran down his face as he watched Erich and Doreena as they stood at their son's grave.  He felt his heart clench as he remembered standing next to his own father's grave only a few short years ago.  He knew the pain and grief that Jindra's family was going through and his heart ached for them.  Despite what they say, time doesn't really heal everything.  Oh father -- what a disappointment I turned out to be.  Did you know that I was going to fail?  I never meant to let you down - I never meant to dishonor the legacy of our family.  I'm sorry I couldn't be the son that you deserved.

                Folken watched as Jindra slowly shuffled forward.  When she fell to her knees and cried out, he wanted nothing more than to leap forward and take her up in his arms.  His teeth clenched as he watched a young dark-haired man rush towards her side.  Folken instantly recognized him as the man that had been with Jindra the night before and he felt a hot flood of jealousy overtake him.  Damn it!  If I weren't such a coward - it should be me!  ME!    Biting his lip, Folken turned away to leave.  Forgive me Jin - forgive me for being a coward.  All I know how to do is run away.  Stepping forward, he was startled to find a woman watching him from a few feet away.