TITLE: D¨¦j¨¤ vu
AUTHOR: Jennifer Jolie
SUMMARY: In your rebellion you are most predictable. In your silence you are judged. Go with the flow; no one knows your thoughts.
CATEGORIES: Drama, Action
RATING: PG. It¡¯s safe stuff.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Matrix or any of the characters in this chapter. The poem ¡®Atlas¡¯ is used in this chapter; I own that. Thanks to sparkledfire for the title.
AUTHOR¡¯S NOTES: Here we go. *tries to copy Morpheus* This fic is highly experimental, and I don¡¯t quite know how it¡¯ll work out. Most of it, however, is open to your own interpretation. Well, drop a review if you have anything to say, thanks!
Something¡¯s holding up my thoughts:
Probably just steel or stone
Conscience twisted up in knots.
Dare I stir now that I¡¯m grown?
All¡¯s a blur now. All alone.
D¨¦j¨¤ vu, chapter one: Humpty Dumpty
Trinity¡¯s chest is heaving still, like each breath weighs nearly too much for her. But her strength builds with each inhale. She rests her head against what¡¯s behind it; she doesn¡¯t need to know what it is, it¡¯s tangible enough now, never mind about later.
Tank¡¯s with her by now, and he knows her well enough to see through the theatrics ¨C nothing upsets her, really. After all, this is Trinity. It¡¯s alright, otherwise it doesn¡¯t matter. Maybe it¡¯s practise, from all those runs in the matrix then when he¡¯d had to talk to her without looking her in the eyes, or maybe it¡¯s the very fact that it¡¯s easier to lie when you don¡¯t need to look at someone.
¡°You knew about it, didn¡¯t you.¡± He studies her reaction, but then, he doesn¡¯t need to, since it doesn¡¯t change, just as he expects. Is there anything about her he doesn¡¯t know? Well, yes. Maybe someday it¡¯ll be easier to see through her, maybe sooner, since someday is no longer an abnormal occurrence. Opacity could be defined as scores of layers, even translucent or transparent ones, after all.
The interesting thing about silence is that it is predictable. Words, there are so many to choose from, and they all come a-tumbling. Oh, and there are voices! Tank kneels down beside her. It¡¯s hardly appropriate to lord over Trinity by standing over her. No, there are better ways to do it.
¡°Neo mentioned it,¡± Trinity says curtly. This is not the time for gilded speech. Anyhow, long words can bury pain, but short words can contort through it.
Neo mentioned it. Oh, as if there was something Neo didn¡¯t tell his darling sweet girlfriend. In the beginning I had always wondered what she saw in Neo, but now I knew: he was the One. Whatever crap she made up about the Oracle was shit, really. Few freeborns believed she was right in the head; she was just someone¡¯s everlasting grandmamma. Neo was the One. Surely Trinity knew of the benefits that came with that. Neo, that geek, had believed her.
¡°So what now? Do we tell Morpheus?¡± Spite. I¡¯m wondering if she¡¯ll pick it up, but of course she won¡¯t. She had her own walls up, and fighting sarcasm with sarcasm just ended at an impasse. Those walls were too high for her to climb down now, and she¡¯d have to throw herself off and bruise and break and crash and crack.
Then she widens her dramatically wet eyes and gives me that smouldering look, the one that praises and loves me like her older brother, the one she never had inside the matrix years ago. Damn, I myself don¡¯t know what it¡¯s like to have an older brother. Her posture¡¯s daring me to tell Morpheus and have her come whining after me.
It turns out I don¡¯t need to. Here he comes now.