FORTY-THREE
Anton watched the color drain from his companion's face. "Jindra?" He stepped towards her and took her shoulders in his hands. "Jindra -- are you alright?" She could see the concern and fear on his face, but she couldn't catch her breath to answer him; instead she slowly nodded her head.
He looked at her intently, "Are you sure? You've gone completely pale. Are you sure you're not ill?"
Jindra shook her head, "I-I-I'm fine -- really. I just felt a little queer . . . I'll be alright." Anton looked at her face for a few moments before releasing her shoulders. "Maybe you should get home -- you really do look ill."
"I-I-I'm alright . . . I'll be fine." Her voice shook a little. I can't believe it . . . the tower . . .
Anton reached for her arm, "Let me hail a cab . . ."
Jindra shook her head, "I'm quite alright, Anton -- whatever it was has passed . . ."
"Don't be quarrelsome, Jindra. You look like you're about to pass out -- I really think I should escort you home." Taking her arm tightly in his, Anton pulled her along to the curb and hailed a passing coach. Opening the door, he helped Jindra inside and quickly gave the driver directions.
Settling himself on the bench across from her, he looked at her intently. "Has this happened before? I don't think I've ever seen you ill, Jindra." He tilted his head a little to one side, "It looks like some of your color has come back though -- how do you feel?"
"Fine -- I'm alright," she answered curtly turning to look out the window.
"You don't have jump down my throat. You practically pass out right in front of me and you don't think that I should be concerned?"
"I-I-I wasn't going to pass out -- I just felt . . . strange for a moment. I-I-I can't explain it -- but I'm perfectly fine now."
"Maybe you think so, but your face says otherwise."
"I thought you said I was looking better?"
"I said that your color was returning -- I didn't say you looked better. Perhaps you need to see a physician . . ."
"Look Anton -- nothing happened, I'm quite alright and I don't need you to be a nursemaid."
Anton looked at her for several long minutes, "No you don't need a nursemaid, Jindra -- and I don't want to play at being one either." He let out a frustrated sigh, "I thought that you and I had moved past all this -- that we've become friends again. I am worried about you Jindra, because I care about you -- friends are allowed to care about one another, you know."
She looked at him and then dropped her eyes, "I know . . . it's just that -- that . . ." Jindra turned her head a little and looked out the window. "How did you end up at the sorcerer's tower? Y-Y-You used to say such horrible things about -- about them." She turned back and looked at him, "Why would you accept a position there?"
Anton didn't reply right away, instead turning to look out the window himself for a few moments. "Where else could I go, Jindra?" He finally answered without turning to face her. "I've been expelled from the best military academy in Zaibach -- there aren't many options open for me." He finally turned to look at her, "It wasn't my first choice, I can assure you of that." Jindra could see the coldness in his eyes and it sent an involuntary shiver down her spine. "But at least there they didn't care about the academy -- or having to know the reason for my dismissal. All they saw was a man who had some military training and could handle sword -- as strange as it sounds, they took me on face-value."
He turned back to the window again, "The whole place sets my teeth on edge -- I still hate it just as much as ever . . . but at the moment I don't have any choice. I-I-I can't -- I won't go home . . . this is the only choice I have right now. I'm only obligated for a year -- after that I can resign or leave. "He looked back at Jindra and his voice sounded sad, "Sometimes you have to take the only path open to you, Jindra -- whether you want to or not."
The two remained silent for the remainder of the trip. When the coach pulled to a stop in front on the Roh house, Anton jumped out and then took Jindra's hand to assist her down. He did not immediately release her and the two stood facing one another. "You do look much better, Jindra. But I still think you should see a physician . . ."
She gave an exasperated sigh, "Anton, please . . . do we have to go back through all that again. I'm perfectly fine." He opened his mouth, but Jindra spoke first. "I promise if it happens again, then I will a doctor."
"I will hold you to that promise, Jindra." Anton raised his free hand and lightly brushed her cheek, "T-T-The only thing I have left in my life is you -- and our friendship. I wish that things could have been different between us . . . maybe if I had met you first -- before . . . before him -- perhaps I would have been the one to win your heart." He looked at her intently for a few moments and Jindra felt herself blush under his dark blue gaze. "I love you Jindra -- I was in love with you before I even met you. Coren used to talk about you all the time. He loved you a great deal -- and I fell in love with you too, just listening to him speak about you."
Releasing her hand, he stroked her cheek once again and gave her a sad look. "I-I-I thought that I could do this -- that I could just be your friend . . . b-b-but I can't -- it's just too much. I can't stand to be near you and not be able to -- to touch you or tell you how I feel about you. But what makes it worse is knowing that there is someone else -- another man who can do all of things that I can't." He turned away from her, not wanting her to see the tears that welling in his eyes.
Anton took a breath and then stepped to the open door of the coach. He turned to look at her "I-I-I don't think that we should see each other anymore, Jindra. B-B-But if you ever have need of anything -- anything at all, please contact me and I will come to you. If I can help you in anyway -- you only have to ask and I will come." Climbing into the cab, he looked back at her one last time, "Goodbye Jindra . . . I hope that you find happiness -- even if it isn't with me." Closing the door to the coach, Anton settled back into the seat and then called out to the driver to go. As the cab pulled away, he kept his eyes straight ahead, unable to look at Jindra again.
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Closing his eyes as if in pain, Anton Lefebvre let his tears ago; reaching into his jacket, he pulled out a dull silver flask. Unscrewing the cap, he put it to his lips and drank. The liquor burned down his throat and he drank until he thought he would choke. By the time the cab arrived at the front gate to the sorcerer's tower, the flask was empty. Pulling coins from his pocket, Anton paid the driver and passed through the front gate. Instead of going to his cramped cell-like room, he ascended several flights of stairs and made his way through the twisted hallways of the tower.
Taking a deep breath, Anton knocked on the ebony colored door. After a few moments, the door was opened. "Ah, Lieuten-- pardon me, Sergeant Lefebvre. I've been expecting you to come and see me." Anton entered the dimly-lit room. "How are the accommodations in the guard quarters? Not quite what you're used to I'm sure; but nothing that can't be -- remedied." There was a faintly mocking tone in the man's voice. "So . . . am I to assume that you've reconsidered my offer?"
Anton nervously swallowed, "Possibly . . . however, I would like to discuss it a bit further."
"Why of course, I'm always open to negotiation -- within reason of course. Come have a seat and we'll see what's on your mind."
Anton took the chair that the man indicated. "I will accept your offer -- on one condition."
"You don't waste anytime do you Lefebvre. Only one condition -- very well, what is it that you want this time?"
Anton took a breath to steady himself, "Jindra Roh."
"I . . . I'm not sure that can be arranged. The girl has become something of an inconvenience."
"But what if I've come up with a way for us to both to get what we want?"
The man seemed to consider Anton's words, "You've intrigued me, Lefebvre. We might be able to do business after all . . . why don't you tell me what it is that you have in mind."
Anton inwardly smiled; you will be mine Jindra Roh. You will love me -- only me.