FIFTY-FOUR
Jindra Roh-Lacour smiled her thanks at the man seated across from her as he filled her teacup. Raising the cup, she took a small sip – savoring the exquisite taste. "Mmmmmm, I love the tea here." Her companion nodded in response, but remained quiet.
Jindra studied Marco Dimetra as the two quietly sipped at their cups. Although she had not seen the dark-haired man for over a week, she thought that he looked a bit pale and his dark eyes were red-rimmed and tired looking. When she had joined him in the cafe, Marco had stood up from the table before taking her hand and giving it a quick kiss. He then gave her a rakish smile and waited for her to sit down, before joining her. She noticed that as he sat down, he leaned against the back of the chair and she was almost certain that she saw him flinch – as if in pain – and then sit forward in the seat.
Altogether, his usual friendly and flirty manner had dimmed a bit and she couldn't help but wonder why. While she was concerned about him, she was reluctant to ask him what was wrong – Marco would probably tell her nothing and then make some joke to turn the conversation away to something less personal. Although she had been leery of him when they had first met, in the past few weeks Jindra had come to regard the apprentice sorcerer as a close and dear friend – there was so much in him that reminded her of Coren – and she wished that he would open up and confide in her about whatever was troubling him.
"So, how does it feel to be an old married woman at the ripe age of seventeen?" Marco asked as he refilled his cup. "It sure looks like it's agreeing with you – there's a twinkle in your eyes that I don't remember seeing before." He gave her one of his flirty smiles, "Guess Folken knows how to keep his lady happy." He watched the slight flush that spread across her cheeks and he chuckled. "That good is it?"
"Marco!" Jindra's scolded, "Is that all you ever think about?"
"I'm a man – I can't help it, it's just the way we are – and I'm sure that you have no real complaints in that department, do you Jindra? Because if you do, then maybe me and that husband of yours need to have a little chat to make sure that you never have any complaints again." He winked at her. "Of course if you had married me in the first place, then I could personally guarantee that you would never find any fault in that respect where I was concerned."
Jindra arched her brow at him, "Excuse me, Marco; but I seem to recall you saying that I wasn't really your type when it came to – to being intimate."
Marco smiled at her, "Maybe I'm tired and ready for change . . . and if I were going to do it for anyone at all, it would be for you Jindra. I'd make you forget you ever laid eyes on Folken Lacour – in fact, you'd be so besotted with me that you'd spend all your days in bed waiting for me." He saw her blush deepen and he chuckled again.
"I'd be waiting for you because you'd be holed up somewhere with the stable boy, or the footman, or the gardener . . ." Jindra trailed off as she watched the flush that unexpectedly spread up Marco's neck. Serves you right; she thought to herself. Think you can make me blush all the time – well, here's some of your own medicine as they say.
"Oooh, what a truly wicked thing to say, Jindra – you sound like quite the proper little fishwife now." He laughed, "Although you're probably right – unless of course, we only hired ugly servants – or all female ones . . . but no, that might not work either – although with you trapped in my clutches, the maids would be safe from me . . . well, at least for a month or so, until you got to be a real shrew and then I'd be forced to toss you off . . ." He laughed once again at her expression and she stuck her tongue out at him.
The two were interrupted when the waiter appeared with the rest of their order and placed the tray in the middle of the table. The couple took a few moments to survey the laden tray of tarts, biscuits, cookies, jams and other assorted spreads before making their selections.
Marco and Jindra quickly tucked into the delicious repast and polished off most of the tray while they made small talk. Despite the light tone in his voice, Jindra could still sense that something was not quite right with her companion. At times, his witty banter seemed forced and without his usual air of playfulness; and every so often she would see something flash in Marco's chocolate brown eyes – almost as if he were in pain – and it worried her. Maybe he fell in love with someone . . . someone who broke his heart? But would he tell me if I asked him, or would he be too embarrassed?
"Jindra – knock, knock – is anyone home?" Marco was looking at her as she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Huh? I'm sorry Marco; my mind just kind of went somewhere else for a moment." Jindra blushed and quickly took a sip from her teacup.
He smiled at her, "Thinking about that handsome and virile-looking husband of yours?" He chuckled as she glared at him. "Yes, he is worthy of a daydream isn't he?" Marco batted his eyes at her and propped his chin on his palm, "Ah, it's a crying shame you know; I saw him first." He gave a slightly dramatic sigh, "It's just not fair." Jindra arched her brow at him, but said nothing.
Putting his hand back down on the table top, his face took on a more serious look. "Speaking of the illustrious Mr. Lacour, he wanted me to talk to you about something; that's why I asked you to come out with me today."
"Why didn't Folken just come himself?" Jindra's eyes grew wide and she put her hand on Marco's arm. "He didn't get in trouble, did he? They didn't do anything to hurt him?"
"No, no; nothing like that." He patted her hand reassuringly. "He just wants to be careful, that's all – it's hard for him to leave the tower without someone noticing. Don't worry, Folken's perfectly safe." Marco willed his voice to stay steady. Safe – like a mouse with a hungry cat . . . he's safe alright. Jindra looked at him expectantly as he continued on, "He – he went to see your father yesterday; did you know?"
Jindra slowly nodded her head, "Yes . . . my father was fit to be tied when he came home – even worse then he's been the past week. I thought he looked angry that day . . . that day I told him about . . . but yesterday he really looked like he was ready to – I don't know, beat someone with a stick or throw them out a window . . . " She trailed off and squeezed her eyes shut. Sighing, she looked back at Marco. "How can something that's supposed to be the happiest thing in your life make so many people sad and miserable?"
Marco gave her a sad look. "Well, I don't know why you're so surprised. You had to know that your family wasn't going to be exactly overjoyed by it. Not that I'm saying they're right; but I can look at it from their point of view, Jindra. They are your parents after all, they only want what's best for you – and unfortunately that isn't always the same as what you think you want. They probably feel like you betrayed them, you went behind their backs and got married . . . of course they're angry."
"So now you're on their side? I thought you were our friend, Marco."
"I'm not taking anyone's side – although if I had to choose, you know I would be on yours. No one wants you and Folken to succeed and be happy living the rest of your lives together more than I do." He glanced away from her, his voice low and sad sounding. "I won't ever be able to have what the two of you have, Jindra. I don't think I'll ever fall in love – not true love anyway." He looked back up at her. "I'll never get to experience all the joy and yes, even the sorrow that binds two people together as one. But through the two of you, I've been able to glimpse all of that and sometimes . . . sometimes I wish my life had been different – that I had been different . . . normal, like any other man." Marco looked away from her as he finished.
Jindra sat quietly for a moment as she watched the profile of Marco's face. Slowly, she reached out and took his hand. "Marco, don't – don't say things like that about yourself." He turned slightly and looked at her. "Sometimes you remind me of Folken when you say such things. There is nothing wrong with you Marco Dimetra. You are one of the handsomest, wittiest, kindest and dearest people I know – and if people can't see that . . . well, it's their loss and they don't deserve to know you anyway."
She let go of his hand and looked down at her lap. "Besides love isn't all hearts and flowers – not unless the flowers have thorns sharp enough to cut you right down to the bone." Her voice sounded bitter as she looked back up at Marco. "If I had known then -- when I first met Folken -- how much pain and hurt falling in love with him was going to cause, I'm not so sure I wouldn't have turned around and run in the opposite direction." She swallowed, "I mean I love Folken – so much – and I can't imagine my life without him, but sometimes I just wish that maybe we should have done things differently . . . or that it would have been better for everyone if the two of us had never even met. "
"No Jindra – the two of you followed your hearts, you knew what you wanted and you didn't let anything stand in the way." Marco gave her a small smile, "I've always admired people like you and Folken . . . I've always been afraid – afraid of going against the grain as they say. I've never been brave – I've never been able to stand up to anyone and say no . . . I've just always accepted whatever was dealt me, whether I liked it or not. Sometimes I wish that I could be strong, that I could just tell everyone to stuff it and then just walk away." Marco's voice had faded to a whisper by the time he finished speaking.
Jindra saw the pain in his eyes and she knew that there was more behind his words. "Marco . . . what is it? What's wrong? I know that something is bothering you – I can see it, ever since I first go here. "
"There's nothing . . ."
She cut him off, "Don't Marco – don't lie. If you don't want to tell me, then say so; but don't lie to me." He looked at her, but remained silent. Jindra tried once more, "Is it the tower? Has something happened? Did someone . . . ?" She trailed off, unsure of how to ask the question.
Marco gave her a sharp look. "It really isn't your concern, Jindra."
"You're my friend Marco, and I care about you." She started to reach out and touch his arm, but Marco pulled away. "Fine, if that's how you want it – then don't tell me."
The couple lapsed into silence, their eyes on anything but each other. It was a few minutes before Jindra finally turned her gaze back on to the man seated across from her. "So what did Folken want you to talk to me about?" Her voice sounded cool, almost detached.
"Folken . . .? Oh . . . he wants the two of you to leave the city or make other arrangements to stay somewhere else."
"Leave? But we are leaving; the ship will be here in another week or so." Jindra gave her companion a puzzled look.
"Yes I know. But Folken thinks that maybe the two of you should be together – somewhere . . . safe, for lack of a better word. Somewhere where no one will be able to find you until the ship arrives."
"Why? What's going on Marco?"
"I think it has to do with whatever your father said to him, Jindra. Folken came to see me as soon as he got back and – and he just looked so defeated, like he had been beaten down and was ready to surrender. I think he's afraid that your father is going to send you away or that he's going to force you into dissolving your marriage."
Jindra closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh, "I know . . . he made me talk to a man the day before yesterday; he was a civil litigator. He asked me all kinds of questions and when I told my father I wasn't going to answer them and that I intended to stay married . . . h-he . . ." She trailed off and shook her head. "Gods Marco, I wanted to crawl away somewhere and die! The things that man asked me – and my father's expression and the things he said to me afterwards . . ."
Jindra swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. "My father practically accused Folken of forcing himself on me, and . . . and then he looked at me like I was some kind of filthy whore on the street when I told him that it wasn't true." She bit her lip at the painful memory. "My father wants to have our marriage annulled, so I won't be – as he so eloquently put it – further damaged, by having to go through the scandal of a divorce. I don't think that he told the litigator about Folken being an apprentice in the sorcerer's tower."
"He'd be a damn fool if he did." Marco said bitterly. "Trust me Jindra; you don't want anyone to know that – for your safety as well as Folken's."
The pair sat silently while the waiter cleared away the empty plates and brought them a fresh pot of tea. Jindra reached for the pale porcelain pot and poured herself a fresh cup. Marco shook his head as she held the pot out to him. Setting the teapot back down on the table, she reached for her cup and silently sipped as Marco resumed speaking.
"Anyway, about what Folken sent me here for . . . he thinks that it would be best for the two of you to do it right away. He's made some tentative plans and I've agreed to help in arranging whatever you decide to do. If you want to leave the city I can see about getting you some horses and supplies; or if you prefer to remain here, I can find somewhere for the two of you to stay until the ship docks. I thought that little inn where you spent your wedding night might be a good choice; it's small and tucked away off the main streets – and quite cozy, as I recall."
Marco paused and looked at Jindra; "He wants to do this within the next two days, Jindra. I'm supposed to get an answer from you."
Jindra set her cup down rather hard, "Like I have a choice?" Her voice sounded bitter, "I can run away with Folken and hide like a criminal or I can stay at home and let my father rule me for the rest of my life; all the while reminding me of what a disappointment I am to our family." She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm tired of this – all the secrecy, all the lies, all the heartache . . . I know that this isn't how things should be. I just want all of this to be over and done with – so that we can get on with the rest of our lives."
"Jindra," Marco started.
"No Marco, it's alright. Don't worry, I'm not cracking up – well, not completely anyway." She gave him a half-hearted smile. "I should look on the bright side, things could be worse – Folken could be locked up somewhere and I could be on a one-way trip to parts unknown . . . although who knows, we might just all end up like that anyway." Jindra's voice sounded sad as she finished speaking.
Marco looked at her, unsure as to whether she was serious or not. Jindra saw the look on his face, "Don't scowl like that Marco, it doesn't suit you at all." He arched his brow at her. "You look like my father when you do that. You better watch it Dimetra, you're starting to show your age and look fatherly."
The dark-haired man gave her a wide-eyed look of feigned shock, "What a perfectly hideous thing to say to me Jindra; and after I've been nice enough to treat you to a lovely tea and play errand boy for you and that infuriating husband of yours. Fatherly indeed – and here I thought you were my friend." He mockingly sniffed back non-existent tears, "Why I have half a mind to fall out of love with you and leave you to the mercies of that barbaric outlander of yours."
Jindra rolled her eyes, "Sometimes I think that you're my brother come back to haunt me – and I just want to box your ears." She reached across the table and grasped his hand, "and other times, I want to hug you and thank you for being here."
Marco squeezed her hand, "Your welcome." He saw the slight blush that crept across Jindra's face as she released his hand.
"So, what else did Folken have to say about this plan of his . . . "
Marco reached for the teapot and refreshed his cup as he continued telling Jindra about her husband's intentions.
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Jindra and Marco were on the sidewalk outside of the café. It had been over an hour since they had first entered the small eatery and after a few glances from the wait staff within, the two had quietly taken their leave to continue their conversation outside.
"M-Marco . . . I – I think you should come with us . . . when Folken and I leave Zaibach, you should come with us." Jindra blurted out as she took the dark-haired man's offered arm and the two started walking. Her words brought her companion to a halt and he looked down at her.
"Jindra . . ."
"What reason do you have to stay here? You told me that you have no family – no ties other than your oaths to the tower. Why would you stay here when you could go somewhere else – a new place and a new start in life? Don't you want to have a chance to really live – to really be happy?" Jindra's voice had risen and she quickly dropped it as several people passing by looked their way. "Come with us to Palas – I know you'd like it there . . . it's so beautiful – the ocean and the sun . . . it's the perfect place to start over, Marco."
Marco let go of her arm and turned away. "Please Jindra . . . don't . . . I can't leave here . . . I don't belong anywhere but in the tower – it's all I know . . . it's what I deserve." His voice was a whisper.
"No one deserves to be preyed on and mistreated just so that they have can have a roof over their head and food in their stomach. You don't have to live like that Marco . . . you shouldn't have to live like that."
He turned to face her, "What do you know about it, Jindra? What do you know about being homeless and penniless . . . what do you know about not being wanted and turned out into the street." His voice was hard, "I made my choice a long time ago – and for good or bad, I've learned to live with it."
Jindra swallowed and looked away from him. "You're right Marco; you're absolutely right. I don't know what kind of life you've had, other than what you've chosen to tell me . . . but I know that you aren't happy, anyone could see that." She turned her eyes back towards his face as she reached out and touched his arm. "It's just that . . . you've become so dear to me in such a short time, and I hate to think of you in that hateful tower surrounded by people who only want to use you and mistreat you. You deserve so much more than that, Marco."
Marco sighed as he placed his hand over hers. "What would I do in Palas, Jindra? I don't have any skills that would earn me a decent living – well, except for one; and if the day ever comes that I'm desperate enough to sell myself on the street, then I'll know it's time to end it all completely."
He moved Jindra's hand and tucked it into the crook of his elbow. The two started walking again while Marco continued. "All these years, and I've learned to accept and live with the choices I've made. Then along come you and Folken and – wham – my whole life is turned upside down. For the first time since I was a child I know what it means to have a friend – to have someone else care about me, really care about me." He looked down at his companion, "And I'll always be grateful to the two of you for that."
"Then come with us Marco . . . the three of us together, starting new lives – living out our dreams." Jindra pressed, once again.
Marco was silent for a few moments, his eyes on the sidewalk in front of him. When he did finally speak, his voice was soft. "But that's your dream Jindra, not mine. You wouldn't want me tagging along, not while the two of you are just starting out – I'd be nothing but a burden to you. I don't have a lot of money and what will happen when it runs out? You and Folken will need every copper that you have just to take care of yourselves."
"I'm not even sure what the two of us are going to do once we get to Palas, Marco. My aunt has offered to help us get settled and my grandfather's business is quite large – Bethanne was going to see if there was a place for Folken, so I'm sure that we could find you something too. Despite what you say, you're really quite clever and there must be something that you could do." Jindra looked up at him, "Besides, who other than you would I trust with our children Marco?"
"C-Children . . . Jindra – you're not . . . surely it's too soon . . ."
She laughed at the expression on his face, "Relax Marco; I'm not pregnant – at least not yet. But once we get all settled, then I'm sure it's only a matter of time." Jindra flashed him a smile, "C'mon Dimetra – just think, a whole gaggle of children climbing all over their 'Uncle Marco'; you'd be in heaven."
"Sounds more like hell if you ask me," he said with an arched brow. "A bunch of Lacour brats hanging off me and pulling my hair." Marco suddenly laughed, "Although I could spoil them rotten and turn them into monstrous little horrors that would have the neighbors locking their doors and closing their drapes whenever they came down the street."
Jindra rolled her eyes and sighed, "I swear you've been possessed by my brother's spirit – it's the only logical explanation." Marco saw her expression change, a sadness that crept across her features as she fell silent. "You don't know how much I wish that he were still here – I really miss how we could just talk about anything. I always trusted Coren – even with the deepest secrets that I had; and he never told any of them. Although I don't know how he would have taken all this – I'm not sure whose side he would be on . . ."
"Well if he had any sense, he would have stayed clear of it all." Marco replied, "Unlike me." He flashed Jindra a smile to let her know that he was only joking and the two continued on in silence.
The couple had almost reached their destination, the corner that would take Marco back to the sorcerer's tower and Jindra to her home in the opposite direction; when Jindra spoke. "So, will you come with us Marco?"
The two stopped and Jindra dropped her hand from her companion's arm. "Jindra . . ." he started. "I though we had settled all this."
She looked at him with sad eyes, "I guess we did -- just now." Jindra sighed and looked away from him. "I don't know why you won't even consider it." She turned back to face Marco. "At least take some time to think about it, Marco." She reached for his hand and held it. "Promise me that you'll at least think about – seriously think about it."
Marco squeezed her hand, "I promise – but don't get your hopes up Jindra – I have my reasons and I'm not likely to change my mind." Lifting her hand, he brushed it with a soft kiss. "Although," he added with a rakish smile; "I'm not sure if I could let you just run off with that no-account outlander now that I've ensnared you like a fly in my web."
Jindra laughed and shook her head. Reaching up, she gave Marco a quick peck on the cheek. "How will I ever bear the separation . . . suppose Folken likes to throw his dirty clothes on the floor or he leaves muddy footprints all over the carpets? I won't have you there to comfort me when I have to throw him out."
Marco reached out and embraced her, "Well if that day ever comes, my dear; you just let me know and I'll be right at your side before you know it."
Jindra hugged him back, "I'm going to miss you Marco Dimetra."
"And I you," he replied softly. But will you ever be able to forgive me . . . will I ever be able to forgive myself?