Disclaimers et al. in part 1
I forgot to say that Hannah's all mine. Nathan & Beth too, but they're not here yet so that's it for now, moving on… Say hello to Hannah.
Previously…
"I don't want to be the hit and run guy."
"Just because you recognise a relationship isn't working doesn't mean you're that guy."
"…My relationship with Amy is rocky, but it has potential. I want to see where it could go. I like her and it's as simple as that."
Oh shit.
I've just realised something.
Hannah's gonna be here.
I have to tell her about Amy.
Chapter 4
"Hey Joshua, I'm going to lunch with Bonnie now. I'll be back soon, and don't forget your meeting with the President." Donna yells as she leaves the bullpen.
"Yeah, just be back by one." I shout back.
Sam and I are in my office, catching up. We really haven't been doing this lately, just being friends or even connecting. I think that goes for all the senior staff. We're all finding little ways of going back to the point where we would spend Thanksgiving together.
I turn back to Sam, "Okay, so where was I?"
"You were in the process of explaining how you and Amy worked things out."
"Oh Yeah. So then I said….'I came here to work things out, only I don't know how'."
"And Amy said…?"
"She replied, 'neither do I'. So I said… 'The only thing I can think of is to agree to leave this until we know how to deal with it'."
With a confused and somewhat incredulous look Sam asks, "Ok… so what, you're on a break?"
"No, she asked what if we could work things out. I asked her if she wanted to try, she said yes, so we're having dinner tonight."
"And?"
"And that's where we left things."
"So let me get this straight, after our conversation four nights ago, you decided that Amy is the One and went over there to fix things. Only you managed to not talk about your problems, or in any way resolve things, and skipped on to the make up sex. And you seriously think things are going to work out?" Sam asks with his sceptic face on.
There was no make up sex.
And, I never said she was the One.
I sigh. What the hell. "Yes."
"Yes, what?"
"Yes, you're right. That's what happened."
"And you seriously think she's, you know, the One?"
No.
"Look, I never said she's the One. It's just that I don't want to end things with her because of something as ephemeral as politics, or rather, a political argument."
"Ok." He answers indulgently.
"No, listen, I know we didn't exactly choose the greatest way to work things out, but it worked. If and when either one of us manages to find a way to work through our issues, we'll resolve them, but until then we'll just work with the day to day."
"Ok, you do know that you used work/worked way too many times in one sentence, right?" I simply give him a look in answer to that ridiculous question. "What if she uses you again?"
"Sam," I say in a warning tone. "She didn't use me."
"You say potato, I say patato. Look I'm sorry if this offends you, but she made the same mistake twice. I'm just wondering how many times you're going to forgive her?"
I'm answering somewhat defensively, "How do you know I wasn't using her?" He just gives me a measuring look, and I feel the need to explain and justify my choice. "Look, neither one of us came out of this looking good. We both played the game. And, if the roles were reversed, I would have done the same thing. The fact is, we're both bad at this relationship stuff, but we both want this to work, so we'll figure it out."
"You're serious about her." He sounds as if he can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth.
I'm not sure serious is the right word, maybe determined is more accurate.
Not wanting to analyse my previous thought, I say, "Give her a chance, will you?" After a beat, I add, "Anyway, it's possible that you'll have to accept her, no matter what."
Sam is not going to like this. Neither are Toby and CJ.
Hell, I'm not happy about this.
"Why?" I wait for the wheels to spin in Sam's head, while he goes through all of the possible reasons that he would have to deal with Amy, apart from as my girlfriend. "No, wait. We're not, are we?" He practically shouts with the same indignant tone he uses to argue with Ainsley.
"We might; it's good politics. Leo heard that Seth Gillette was approaching Amy. In that respect, having Amy against us could create too many headaches."
"Really, no offence to you, but your girlfriend can be a bitch. She'll give us headaches whether she's with us or against us. And what happens when she disagrees with us? She has been known to do that. Who's going to reign her in?"
"That's the beauty of it. She would be hired for the campaign."
Again, I wait for what I just said to sink in, and when it does, he can't stop laughing.
He finally manages to say through his laughter, "Your seriously telling me that Amy would consider working for Hannah?"
"Amy doesn't know about Hannah yet. If Leo offers her the job, he won't mention Hannah until after she's accepted. Amy would hate the idea, but she'd suck it up, because otherwise it'd look like she's afraid of Hannah and she'd hate that even more." I say this as I start reading some briefing memo.
If this plays out, my girlfriend is going to kill me. And yet, for some reason, I'm laughing on the inside. Hannah and Amy. I'm so excited that she's back. Hannah, that is.
"We have to offer Amy a job, whatever it is. The idea of Hannah and Amy working together is just so unbelievable. That's irony for you." Sam has somehow managed to read my thoughts.
"It is, isn't it just?" Wait, that wasn't me. Or Sam.
That was a woman's voice.
I look up to see Sam jump out of the visitors' chair and run toward her, even though she's only a few feet away. He hugs her, while she just laughs at his excitement.
"Sam, you look great, disgustingly so. Seriously, where's the youth pill and why won't you share? And my dear Joshua, sorry, but you just look like crap."
I hug her as I respond, "Thank you, Hannah, I would say you look like crap too, but you look as good Sam."
Just to be clear, I don't think Sam's good-looking. I mean he is. I'm just observing this in a manly way. Although there's nothing wrong with thinking that Sam or any man is good looking, if you, you know, like that. You know what? There is no way I can finish this thought without feeling like an idiot. So I'll stop.
"I'm serious Josh, you look like crap. What the hell happened?"
She's right. I do. I think the last few days are beginning to catch up with me; the President and Leo informed me of what happened with Shareef. I'm still not sure why they decided to tell me, but I have a feeling, in the future, if such a situation arises, I won't be finding out about it after the fact. I really don't want to think about that.
Back to Hannah.
Sam's doing that fake cough thing: Shit, he's going to tell her. He can't. I need to convince her that Amy really isn't the evil, conniving, backstabbing, elitist bitch that she knew way back when.
"Maybe you should ask his girlfriend."
It's out there before I can stop him. "Sam." That tone I just used strikes fear into the hearts of many idiot politicians, and just now, it made Sam laugh.
Thanks a lot my friend. Ex-friend, I should say.
"You're with someone?"
I am currently thinking of ways to kill Sam.
"Yeah."
"It's not Mandy is it? Because she's bad for you, Josh."
"Oh, no, she's worse than Mandy. And you know her." He's not even trying to hide his amusement.
Bastard!
"How could anyone be worse than Mandy? Who is it?"
Someone just kill me now.
"Amy Gardner." I say almost in a whisper. I just about heard me, so I'm pretty sure she didn't.
"I'm sorry?"
What did I do that was so wrong in my past life?
"Amy Gardner." And this time I say her name with more conviction.
I'm waiting for her reaction. A minute goes by, as if to absorb this information. And then…
She bursts out laughing.
Great. Really, what did I expect?
Actually, it was more along the lines of, you know, ass kicking, maiming etcetera, etcetera.
"Amy, as in…."
"Yes, that Amy."
"Did Donna get married and leave you with a temp from hell or something?" Her amused is tone still present.
That was not funny.
Call me a retard - which is hard considering my intellectual and personal wealth - but I don't understand her last comment.
"First of all, what?" I know! My voice went a little high there on the last word. "And secondly, that's the best you could come up with?" You should congratulate me; I actually managed to recover my dignity on that last part.
"Well, no. But I've spent the past fours days getting reacquainted with numbing Republicans. Add to that, the fact that as soon as I landed back on US soil, the Chief of Staff to the President would not leave me alone. Apparently, I've lost weight. Seriously. You'd think the man would have better things to do. Anyway, I thought I should give my brain a break. But if it bothers you that much, I can come up with something better."
"No, it's ok, I guess I can live with that," I answer with mock disappointment.
"But seriously, Josh. Amy?" Her voice got a little high there, at the end of that sentence.
It was cute.
Before I can answer, Ginger comes in looking for Sam to remind him of his meeting with the President in fifteen minutes. Hannah and I are supposed to be there too. Sam leaves so that he can prepare for it, leaving Hannah and me alone.
Joy.
"I'm gonna go find CJ."
She's trying to avoid talking about this.
"I'm trying to make this work, Hannah," I say as I lean back against my desk.
She takes in the expression on my face and then walks to the door. I begin to think she's just going to walk away but instead, she closes the door.
Oh God, I hope she doesn't bite my head off.
She takes a minute before speaking, to collect her thoughts. She REALLY hates Amy. But really, after what happened between them, who can blame her?
I'm feeling a little guilty for being with Amy now.
As she leans against the desk beside me, she asks, "How long have you guys been together?"
"About five months." The confusion is evident on my face. I have no idea where she's going with this.
"And I'm finding out about this now because…? Never mind, I can guess. Look Josh, your relationship with Amy is yours. What you do is none of my business. No wait, that's wrong." Her forehead does this crinkly thing as she tries to come up with a better way to frame her answer. "It is my business, but it's wrong of me to dictate what you should do."
For a minute, I have this shocked expression on my face. That was not what I was expecting her to say. I finally smile.
She groans and then mutters, "And I cannot believe I am about to say this but, your relationship with Amy is something for you to learn from, so, no matter what, do not break up with her on my account. In fact, don't break up with her unless you want to. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks." That was all said seriously, in her little sister tone, but now her voice does that high thing again. "That said, if you do want the relationship to end, don't wait for her to do it. Get in there and, you know, kick her ass to the curb."
She wants to say something else, which incidentally, I get the feeling is the most important point, but for some reason she doesn't. I didn't expect her to say a word of what she just said.
"Ok, who are you and what have you done with Hannah? Because seriously, you look like her, you even talk like her, and yet, the words that just came out of your mouth, never would have came out of hers."
"I'm trying my hand at the supportive sister thing. How do you think I'm doing so far?" she answers with an adorable grin.
"Pretty good actually."
"It goes without saying though, that if you need to talk about her, or need advice and all that crap, don't expect it from me." She's still grinning while saying this. So she really doesn't mean it.
"Funny girl."
"I try."
"I think you just had a relapse in the supportive sister thing."
"Yeah, well, what can I say, annoying the hell out of you is a lot more fun."
I guess I see Joanie in her, except of course Joanie was older than me and Hannah is younger, much younger in fact, hence, the little sister title.
Disappointing her bugs the hell out of me: I have to know how she feels about this.
"You don't think this is going to work, do you?" I say this in a serious and low tone, so that she doesn't laugh this off.
"Do you want an honest answer?"
"Have I ever asked you to lie?"
She's rolling her eyes.
I've never asked her to lie, just fib. A little. And never to me.
For me? Yes. To me? No, not so much.
"Wait, let me amend that, 'cause I can see you rolling your eyes even though you don't think I can. Have I ever asked or expected you to lie to me?"
She smiles. "Well, when you put it that way." Pausing for a moment, she takes a deep breath, "I think… knowing you, something happened and you got hurt. In essence, this is your way of making sure you don't have to deal with the problem. This relationship is your knee-jerk reaction to that, to prove to yourself that whatever - or more than likely, whoever - it is that hurt you, really doesn't matter. And because you probably do have genuine feelings for Amy, somewhere along the line you convinced yourself that your relationship with her could be the real thing. Only, a part of you already knows it isn't. So now you're confused."
That was…
"You didn't answer the question." I do not want to even begin to analyse what she just said.
"Really? Because, I'm pretty sure I did."
"Hannah," exasperation lacing my tone.
"Okay, fine, play the role of an ignorant dumb-ass," she says impatiently, "No, I don't think you're going to last. And before you ask, I'm not telling you why. Those are things you have to learn on your own. Incidentally, there are many valid reasons as to why I think you guys aren't going to work out, which are different from the ones you just ignored."
Her face is currently harbouring her 'how much of an idiot can you be?' expression. Judging by the irritation that dripped her tone, I'm guessing a pretty big one. Her face loses its previous look and replaces it with another familiar one. It's her 'I'm talking to an idiot when it comes to relationships who needs everything spelled out for him' look.
"Josh, you should quit with the misdirection, it'll only confuse you more."
"And you know all this without having seen Amy and I together, or having any real conversations about this with me."
Ok, I went beyond defensive there, insolent would be a more accurate term.
"No, I know this because I know you and I know her," she counters glaring at me. She's been here for less than half an hour and I've already infuriated her. "I know that if you were attempting to have a serious and lasting relationship it would be wit… It just wouldn't be with Amy. Ok?" she finishes in an affectionate manner, but the hurt still present from my previous accusation.
Purposely ignoring her near slip, I answer, "I'm not trying to mis--"
She cuts me off before I can finish with a short chuckle, "You really are. Look, all I want say is that, when you're ready to talk about whatever it is that you're trying to avoid, I'll be here. With that said, I think we should get to this meeting. It really doesn't look good that the first time I meet the President of the United States - in an official capacity that is - I'm late."
"Ok," I answer, glad that she's finally going to drop this.
"And Joshua?"
"Yeah?"
"You really don't look that bad," she says with a warm smile.
"Ok." I smile at her; I love the fact that she's here. "Lets go."
*
We're the last ones to walk in to the Oval; Sam, CJ and Toby are sitting on one couch while the President and Leo sit at opposite ends of the room in chairs.
Just as we enter, Hannah whispers in my ear, "By the way, I'm stealing Donna. I'm offering her a job on the campaign. And there's no way I'm taking no for an answer."
The excitement of having my little sister back just wore off.
TBC…