Disclaimers et al. in part 1
Previously…
In exactly three days, twenty-one hours and…. Thirty-two minutes Donnatella Moss will no longer be my assistant
… My feeling for Donna that were once romantic, are now purely platonic.
Really.
Chapter 6
It's Friday and Donna officially will no longer be the Senior Assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff for Strategic Planning in exactly twenty minutes.
She will no longer be my assistant in twenty minutes.
Today has been the day from hell.
*
First, I had three meetings on the hill, all of which I royally screwed up, one in particular had taken two months to set up. Therefore, the fact that I had messed up caused Leo to be pissed at me all day. So pissed in fact, that he instructed Hannah to have a little 'talk' with me. I think he and the President are still having problems with their decision over Shareef. It was the only choice they had, just not a choice they like.
Hannah, realising that my mood was sour, decided to milk it for what it was worth. In other words, she decided to have some fun at my expense - of course if the situation was reversed, I would have done the same thing, but that's beside the point - so as Leo instructed, she and I had a little talk.
I'm telling you, if she ever decided to give up politics, she could without doubt pursue a career in acting. She definitely has the looks and as for her acting ability, she managed to convince me that if my recent mistakes - and in particular, the welfare mistake - were repeated, she would be forced to advise Leo to ask for my resignation. Considering that she usually goes to any and all lengths to save my ass, that was no minor accomplishment.
Anyway, then we found out that Amy accepted Stackhouse's job offer.
Did I forget to mention the part where we decided not to offer Amy a job on the campaign? Much to Sam's disappointment. It was Hannah's decision. Leo and I both thought that might not have been the best course of action and Leo half-heartedly tried to talk her out of it. As it turns out, Stackhouse has decided to create some problems, and asked Amy to join his staff.
As much as I hate to admit it, Amy worked fast and got her people into action quickly on the welfare issue. As a member of Stackhouse's staff, she really could cause a number of headaches for us.
Hannah calmly explained her reasons for not hiring Amy. First, it would give credibility to the stance she took, and although we agree with it, we do not need to broadcast the fact that we went right of centre. Second, the administration has been in a slump recently, going on the defensive and fixing screw up after screw up, rather than going on the offensive and making the opposition screw up. It would look like we hired her because she made me get my butt into gear. Finally, although she's a powerful women's advocate, she could lose any kind of credibility, (not that she really has much right now), because, some would see it as my girlfriend being hired, as a 'sorry for making you lose your job,' thing. Of course I knew this already, Hannah just reiterated her reasons for Leo's benefit.
Then of course Hannah went on to say that, if either Stackhouse or Amy decided to give us headaches, she would give them migraines. Which is what won Leo over and made him grin in the process. I just think Hannah didn't want the headache of working with Amy, which is completely understandable.
What else?
Ann Stark decided to make a re-appearance, but Toby and CJ - with a little assistance from Hannah - dealt with that. Still, I had to listen to CJ bitch about her all day.
The main reason for today being dreadful was that all traces that Donna had once been here are now gone. People were congratulating and commiserating and basically making it painfully obvious that she was no longer going to be around all that much.
See, I don't get this. She is still a White House employee - well, technically she isn't - but she will be again when we win. Until then she's part of the campaign and will be around. It's not like they will never see or hear from her again. Donna just won't be my personal assistant anymore, strike that, because now looking at my crappy watch, I realise she's no longer my personal assistant.
Today royally sucked.
*
It's nine thirty in the evening and Donna officially stopped being my assistant four-and-half hours ago. We're in a Georgetown Bar celebrating this new phase in her life. The place is packed with White House personnel, all the senior staff and their assistants, as well as other staff members and some press. Both Amy and Nathan are here. Amy's avoiding Hannah, so of course anyone who doesn't want to talk to Amy joins Hannah.
Thank God Donna isn't one of those people, because otherwise Amy would be alone all evening or worse, with me.
Leo, Sam, Toby and I have decided to grill Nathan. Our reasons for doing so? Well, Sam simply has a strong friendship with Donna. Toby and Leo, on the other hand, both have a paternal relationship with her. Although this is something he will never admit to, Toby became protective of her ever since he told her that I was the one shot. I overheard him tell Leo once that the look on Donna's face when he told her is one that he will never forget. Leo, however, has always been affectionate towards Donna, simply as an extension of his feelings toward me. They became really close during my recovery, since he looked out for her while she looked out for me.
Do you really need an explanation as to why I'm doing this?
Thought not.
"So, Nathan, what is it you do exactly?" Leo asks the question as if Nathan asked for Donna's hand in marriage and is sizing him up.
"I basically buy companies that are on the downfall, either break them up and sell them on as smaller businesses. Or if they're salvageable them, I rebuild them."
"Donna mentioned something about the military?" Sam chimes in. "She didn't say whether it was American or British."
She did? She's talked to Sam about Nathan? Ok, I'm confused; I hear the accent so I assumed he was British. Why would he join the US anything?
"Yeah, I joined US Air Force when I was twenty-six; I put my degree to use there, military lawyer. But I left after my four years were up. It was … um … life changing."
Whatever it was he didn't say, Leo understood. They exchange a look and now Nathan knows that he has Leo's blessing.
Damn. Leo respects him.
"So how did you get from military lawyer to … I'm not sure of the exact title." That's Toby asking in his usual gruff manner.
"I went back to London and studied Economics. I guess I realised I had more of a business mind than anything else. Came back here, helped a friend rebuild his company and the rest is history."
I don't know what the hell this guy is doing, but he seems to be winning everyone over. I, for one, am not impressed. I mean where in London did he study? It can't beat Harvard and Yale.
"Where in London did you study?"
I have no idea why Leo, Sam and Toby are amused by my question.
"London School of Economics. It's the best place to study economics, or so I was told."
Oh. Ok. I should have my new assistant double check that. Still, I bet it doesn't beat either Harvard or Yale though.
"You say that you went back to London?" Sam tries to clarify.
"Yes, I was born here, so I'm actually American, so is my father, but my mother's British. His career was here and hers in London. So I studied there while my mother worked, we both travelled back and forth during free weekends and holidays or for any major events. We finally moved here permanently when I was about seventeen."
Leo, Sam and Toby interrogate him some more and then talk about politics. It turns out that Nathan is the son of a prominent Democratic Congressman whom I happen to admire. He's loaded, educated, funny and above all, decent.
He's not right for Donna.
*
The night winds down and I decide that Donnatella and I need to have a little talk; it seems anticlimactic to end this way, even though it isn't the end.
Only, I can't find her.
I wander outside and toward the park nearby; it seems like a place she would go.
"You know, you really shouldn't be out here alone, it's dark, late and DC." She smiles at me and I find myself smiling back as I join her on the swings. "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same question."
"I was looking for you. Thanks for talking to Amy earlier."
"Hannah talked to her, you know."
"Really?" Why would Hannah do that?
As if reading my mind, Donna answers, "She's your girlfriend, has been for almost six months. I think Hannah wanted to extend an olive branch. If you two get married and have two point six children--"
"That won't happen." I interrupt automatically.
"Why not?"
"She's not the One."
"Are you sure?"
"No." Don't ask me why I just said that, because I really am sure. She's not the one. I think that if she was, I would know by now.
"So then marriage, is well, possible." It's really not.
"I'm not there yet, we're not there yet, so I can't answer that." I have no idea why I can't tell Donna the truth.
"Ok."
I'm learning a lot of things in and from this relationship with Amy. My mind keeps on wandering back to my conversation with Hannah three weeks ago, when she told me I was in this to learn some lessons. Every time I'm with Amy, I seem to be drawing closer to a realization, but of what, I'm not sure. Or maybe I am and I'm not ready to accept the conclusion yet. Either way, I'm not comfortable talking about this.
Time to change the subject.
"You didn't answer my question."
"Sorry?"
"What are you doing out here?"
"Oh, just … thinking."
"About … ?"
"Nothing really."
There's a comfortable silence between us for a while. But there's something I need to know, so I interrupt it.
"Sooooo, you like Nathan?" I'm trying for a causal tone here.
"Yeah."
Well that told me everything I wanted to know.
"Anyway, I'd thought you would love reminiscing with him," Donna says as she turns her head back to look at the stars.
I'm sorry, but what? She just lost me there.
"How and why would that happen?"
She ignores my question and with a teasing tone says, "Well, I guess that he might intimidate you, I mean he did make it to the Deans list all four years."
"You do realise I have no idea what you're talking about, right?"
"He went to Harvard." She says this as if I should already know.
"He did? When? I thought he went to LSE." I'm totally confused.
"He did. He moved back here from London when he was seventeen, and went to Harvard. He got his JD there and then joined the Air Force." She answers absently. It's almost as if she's not really here talking, she seems to have other things on her mind.
"Why would he join the Force if he just came out of Harvard?" Because really, that makes no sense at all, I mean he just spent all that money on an Ivy League education. What was the point if he was going to join the Air Force?
"I'm not sure, I think it had something to do with his grandfather and father. They were both in the Air Force. Family tradition I guess," she answers, while continuing to look at the stars.
"He seems like a good gomer," I say with a grin, which she returns. "Leo, Sam and Toby have given him their approval."
"What about you?"
"Does it matter?" I ask, somewhat surprised.
I'm beginning to realise that I have some insecurities when it comes to Donna. I really shouldn't, we are friends. It's just…
"Yeah, for some reason, it does."
"I … I … I think he seems decent."
"But?"
"I don't know." I answer honestly.
"I guess that's how I feel too. I mean he's great on paper; he's smart, funny, kind and everything I always thought I wanted. But there's just something missing. You know?"
"Yeah."
This revelation causes me to be inexplicably happy. It also feels extremely familiar.
Ok, maybe it's not inexplicable.
"Josh?" She waits to make sure she has my attention, and then continues, "Thank you for giving me a chance."
I bite back my initial sarcastic response and decide now would be the time to say something nice. And this is when my mouth runs off and says something my brain didn't approve beforehand.
"You made it hard for me not to, and I've never been more thankful for anything else in my life. Anything. I just want you to know that … that … that to say you are valuable, to this administration, but more importantly, that you're valuable to me, would be an understatement. I don't think you could ever fully comprehend what it is you mean to me and I'm not sure I would ever want you to, because then you would be placing a value on something that is priceless. I meant it when I said I wouldn't stop for a beer, hell a political crisis wouldn't even be able to keep me away, but even more than that, I wouldn't stop for red lights either, Donnatella." Our faces are inches away and my heart has suddenly started pounding like never before.
"Joshua, Josh, Josh." Please don't say that. I know you're going to say something that will keep me up all night when you say that. "I thought that walking away from Dr. Freeride was the hardest thing I would ever have to do, but Joshua, that is nothing compared to walking away from you." She whispers the word 'you' and smiles in a way I've never seen before.
My heart just stopped; I have no come back. She did it again.
She gets up and walks back to the bar, leaving me to realise that one of us always walks away when we open our hearts. All this time I was thinking that this change is only affecting me, that she was impervious. But she is just as scared of what this will do to us as I am.
Neither of us really understands 'us.' In fact, neither of us is even ready to deal with there being an 'us.'
But something infinitely more important occurs to me, despite everything that has happened recently to either and to both of us, despite my being in an relationship with Amy or her having had one with Cliff, or currently being in one with Nathan, there is an 'us.'
My face loses it shocked and awed expression and instead a small intimate smile begins to form.
And I realise something else.
Letting Donna walk away is not an option.
TBC…