Disclaimers et al. in part 1
Previously…
Anyway, then we found out that Amy accepted Stackhouse's job offer.
Why do I suddenly have a terrible feeling about the rest of the night?
Chapter 8b
"Hey Spanky, who's your friend? And why haven't you called her today?"
Josh and Toby have just come back. I'm betting that Toby only went to make sure Josh didn't spend the rest of the evening hiding out at the bar. Although, my detailed account of 'The Pillow Book's plot might have had something to do with it. Can I help it if Josh and Toby - maybe not so much Toby - are more squeamish than a little girl? No. I have to say though; the pained expressions on their faces were priceless.
"What?" Sam looks so adorable when he's confused.
"Earlier, you said to Josh, 'she's my friend…"
"Oh, right. Right, we were talking about Donna."
As soon as he says Donna, I reflexively look at Amy - discreetly of course - if she has any insecurity about Donna; she's hiding them well. But then again, Amy has never really seen them together, so she has no way of knowing what the two of them are really like.
I wonder if Josh knows about Donna's plans, or rather, possible plans?
"How is she?" Toby asks.
Sam answers, "She's fine, she's having fun out there."
Yeah, she really is, but I think it might have a lot more to do with a certain someone than the campaign itself.
We all sit here awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to talk about when Sam asks, "I wonder what job Hannah will give her after re-election."
I wonder what he's playing at.
"Who?" Toby asks.
"Donna. What do you think Hannah will have her do? I mean, there's no way she'll just let Donna go back to being Josh's assistant."
Still have absolutely no idea where's he's going with this. But hey-- oh wait, Amy's opening her mouth, or well, trying to.
"That's awfully presumptuous of you, to think that you'll be back in the White House come January."
She did not just say that.
She. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.
For anybody that could not guess, the idiot who just said that was Amy.
Amy.
Cue the disgust.
I look around the table to see that Amy has a blank expression on her face, but you can tell from her eyes that she's trying to hide how smug and superior she really feels. Josh looks like he's living through ten kinds of hell, Sam's quietly spewing venom, Toby's mentally changing his opinion of Ms. Idiot - that's what I'm calling her from now on, Ms. Idiot - and I'm trying to think of the best way to impart the wrath of the sisterhood on her.
I wonder if I should call Hannah, we could come up with a plan. I don't think I've ever mentioned this, but Hannah and I are a deadly combination, a force to be reckoned with. I'm thinking that we could come up with a suitable punishment for Ms. Idiot. We should get Donna to join us too. Donna can be quite devious when she wants to be. Yes! Hannah, Donna and I are going to come up with a plan to… to… I have no idea what it is we're gonna to do to Ms. Idiot, but it will not be pretty.
No siree. Not pretty at all.
I'm getting bored with the 'Ms. Idiot' thing. I'll come up with a better name later, but right now I have to put Ms. Idiot in her place. We really can't let her get away with saying that.
However, before Sam or I can object and let her have it, Toby calmly retorts, "And what, you think that either Ritchie or Stackhouse will? Are you telling me that you honestly believe either of those--" Careful Toby, do not give her a quote. "--That either of them will replace President Bartlet in the White House in the next four years?"
Good boy, even though you didn't let her have it.
Also, I'd like to congratulate myself on the fact that, even though I'm slightly inebriated right now, I still did the Press Secretary thing back there. You know, with Toby and the quote.
"I think that the voters are going to wake up to the fact that Bartlet is not--"
"President Bartlet." Sam corrects automatically.
"What?" Amy, do you have a problem with hearing as well as talking?
"It's President Bartlet, not Bartlet."
Amy looks like she could not possibly care less.
Oh, Hannah and I are gonna have so much fun kicking her ass.
Ms. Idiot continues, "I think that with every passing day, the difference between President Bartlet and Ritchie is becoming less exaggerated. This White House has managed to create more problems than it has fixed. You guys are treading water. You've compromise when you shouldn't, and managed to screw the people who put you here. They'll remember that come November."
Well, at least we know the way they are going to run their election campaign.
I'm thinking maiming is not out of the question. The de-skinning thing that I saw in the movie is actually looking like a good idea, too. I wonder what equipment I would need?
While I'm mentally preparing a list of all the things I would need to carry out the previously mentioned act, which in no doubt would land me in prison, Toby decides to verbally challenge Ms. Idiot.
"Did you just say that the President--"
"You know what? Let's drop this. Amy? Toby?" Josh interrupts in a tone that leaves no room for discussion.
Ladies and gentlemen, Joshua Lyman finally speaks.
And to say what? Absolutely nothing.
Mr. Idiot!
***
I didn't know that I had this kind of self control, because I'm seriously ready to forget the fact she's my girlfriend and-- and--
She cannot possibly think all of that. Can she?
She can't possibly have such a low opinion of us, of me. What the hell is she doing with me if she does?
***
I'm still trying to decide who the bigger idiot is. Amy, for having no common decency and respect for anyone's beliefs but her own, or Josh, for dating her.
How can she honestly think any of that?
The faster she's out of Josh's life - and by extension our lives - the better. How can I make that happen?
The Donna angle.
I should go back to working the Donna angle. My mind, preoccupied with Amy and her vitriol, ignored the fact that Josh doesn't know of Donna's plans. Maybe I should inform him. I'm sure Donna won't mind.
I interrupt the uncomfortable silence by asking, "So CJ, have you spoken to Donna lately?"
CJ's looking at me like I've just grown two heads, or I could be seeing things, I think I'm a little intoxicated. The thing is, I know she has - talked to Donna recently that is - we were talking about this earlier today. I'm hoping that she'll pick up on where I'm trying to go with this and help me out.
"Yeah, but you know tha-- oh, wait, I mean yeah, yeah, I talked to her yesterday. Did she tell you about the thing?"
Good girl.
"Yeah, she did. So what do you think, about the thing? Do you think she ought to? I think maybe she should." Just to clarify, I don't really think she should.
Josh seems to be a little lost in thought, I don't think he realises who it is CJ and I are talking about.
Ok, Toby, I need you to be, you know, you, and ask 'what the hell it is we're talking about'. And if possible, can you get Josh's attention while doing it?
Right on cue, and with the right amount of irritation and volume to get Josh's attention, he says, "What the hell are you two talking about?"
Thank you Toby.
"Donna," CJ answers.
"What about Donna?" Welcome to the conversation Josh.
"Nathan's proposal," CJ answers with a tone that says he should know this already but realising he doesn't, that maybe she should have stayed quiet.
By the way CJ, 'Nathan's proposal'- that's perfect!
"Wait, Nathan proposed already? They've only been together what, two months? And he's proposed already?"
Josh is rattled and he has this other look that I just can't place. I think everyone at this table knows him well enough to know that the incredulous look and tone he's portraying is a mask for his true feelings. Well, everyone except him. Also, Amy just became interested in the conversation.
This is working out just perfectly.
"No you idiot, he didn't propose. He actually happens to really like Donna, so proposing after only knowing her for a few months is not exactly the best way to--"
"CJ, some time today," Toby interrupts with a hint of exasperation in his voice.
"He asked her to move to London with him--"
"Now?" Josh's voice just went really high there. "Does he not understand that she's in the middle of a re-election campaign?"
Oh, he's really not liking this.
"If you had let me finish, you would've heard the part where the move would be after re-election. He asked her to move to London with him in December. For a year."
"Oh. What did she say?" Anyone who didn't know Josh, wouldn't hear the quiet desperation in his voice.
I wonder if Amy can?
"She hasn't decided, but I'm thinking that if she says yes, then the proposal isn't far behind, and I can't think of a reason for her saying no. From what I can gather, she seems to really like him. So maybe, this time next year, Donna will no longer be Donnatella Moss but instead, Donnatella Moss-Spencer. Mrs. Nathan Aaron Spencer. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
Nice touch.
CJ, you are a genius.
Maybe this evening wasn't such a disaster after all.
***
Ok, so now he's thinking about Donna, I'm pretty sure he's not going to analyse why it is he feels so awful.
As much as Sam and I would love that, right now he needs to concentrate on Ms. Idiot. More specifically, why he needs to dump her ass.
***
She's thinking of moving?
Let's be clear about this, she's thinking of moving to London.
To London!
How could she not have told me this? It's not like we don't talk anymore. How could she not have told me?
"Josh?"
"Yeah?" I'm irritated, I wonder if they can tell.
"Where did you go just now?"
Where did I go? Where did I go? It's not me that's going anywhere. That would be Donna.
I have no idea what to say to CJ, so I settle on a vague, "What?"
"I've been calling your name for the past minute, where were you? Never mind, I'm getting another drink, you want anything?" CJ asks, as she gets ready to walk to the bar.
"No."
I wander what else Donna 'forgot' to mention. I should talk to CJ. Alone. I should go to the bar with her.
Wait; is it safe to leave Amy, Toby and Sam alone?
More importantly, do I really give a damn right now?
"Hey CJ, wait up, I'll help you." Once we're at the bar, I ask without permeable, "How long have you known?"
CJ looks at me briefly, it's as if she's deciding how much to tell me.
"CJ," I prompt.
She sighs and says, "A week."
"A week?" I'm deceptively calm right now. Although why I'm deceptively calm, instead of being actually calm, is beyond me. In point of fact it's really not, but I'm not thinking about that right now.
"Josh, I think what Donna is or is not doing should be your last concern right now."
CJ's known a week. A whole week! Donna's thinking of moving to London and she didn't think to tell me. I thought she didn't really have any strong feelings for this guy. What was it she said?
………'I mean he's great, he's funny, smart, kind and everything I always thought I wanted. But there's just something missing. You know?' ………
How could she even consider moving anywhere with this guy?
I should get back into the conversation. What did CJ just say? Oh yeah I remember. "CJ, What are you talking about?"
"Amy."
I do not want to talk about this right now.
"CJ," I say in a tone that I hope conveys how much I don't want to be talking about this.
"Josh, what are you doing? Less than half an hour ago you sat there and listened to Amy belittle not just the President, but also, all of us. She has absolutely no respect for us, or more importantly you. She said all that and you just sat there, you just sat there, Joshua. You didn't defend the President, you didn't defend Leo, hell you didn't even defend yourself, and instead you just sat there. When did you become that guy?"
What is it with women throwing labels at me?
"CJ."
"Why are you with her?"
I have a feeling of déjà vu as I recall a similar conversation with Sam.
"I don't want to end this for something as transient as politics," I reply almost automatically.
"Transient?" The amusement is evident in her voice. Her tone changes and becomes soft, to take a more reflective note as she continues, "Josh, politics is anything but transient. Your current job? Yes. A political argument? Definitely yes. But something as entrenched as political beliefs, or how you chose to act on them? No, not so much."
"I just…"
"Ok, this is what we're gonna do. You are going to take Ms. Idiot over there--"
"Ms. Idiot, CJ?" I smirk. Yes, I know she's my girlfriend, but really, that title seems… I don't know, fitting?
"Shut up. You're gonna take her home and then meet me at your place."
"Why?"
"Because Mi Amore, we need to talk."
TBC…