::shrugs:: another bout of silliness… but for clarifications sake, this story is just thoughts. Have you ever noticed that when we are troubled by something, our thoughts aren't exactly that of a sane person? Maybe it's just me. Our consciences and our hearts battle things out when we want something and know we shouldn't and unbidden thoughts surface during this struggle. That's all this is.
Or, this story could be the result of my fried brain after finals… haven't decided yet.
Disclaimer: don't own.
me
Chapter 2: YOU
Pg13
Mad River
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A magnet. That's what it is. It pulls me in, reeling my body into its depths and sinking its jaws until I know no more, only its substance.
I hate it. I hate it, but the more I fight it the more I'm glued to its being.
Light. Light that hurts my eyes and burns my skin. I want to hide. I need to hide. Move away from the unforgiving rays that threaten to consume what I am, and came to be.
I don't want the change. It is not in me. Perhaps if it was born of me, I would be more willing to accept it. But it isn't, so I don't.
All the same, I slither through the shadows avoiding detection. Always around, but never seen.
Even as I recoil and struggle to turn away I'm already there, eagerly slipping inside, no trail left for anyone to follow.
I hate you.
I despise you as you look upon me, your eyes driving away my doubts even as I battle to cling to them.
I abhor you as you yield to me, giving up yourself just so that I can know peace.
I don't need you, but I crave you… and for that I loathe you even more.
Don't receive me with such willingness!
Turn me away!
YOU!
You that give me strength! Strength that I revile because it comes from you! Spurn me now!
Don't Drive me away…
Don't shine on me!
Damn the heat! And damn you!
YOU and your myriad of colors!
Envy of the rainbow!
Chase away my demons…
Take away my pain
So beautiful…
Hated symphony of melodious kaleidoscope.
Overtake you.
Overwhelm you so you can't live without me.
You will crave me as I do you!
I will become the air you breathe!
I am your sustenance!
Please… let me in…
Coveted weakness… you tremble and I …
I die.
I welcome it and know no more…
More…
More…
You don't know it…
I have already surrendered
I'm fighting a battle already lost.
I've never been happier to give up. To know the bittersweet taste of defeat…
Have it…It's all yours!
You don't know it… yet, but before you gave yourself
I was already yours…
Don't look so sad.
I leave because I already care.
The change is not mine;
I still don't want it.
I'm not ready
Don't hate me…
Please
Never
You…
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Please review…
Mad River