The Fall of William
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns Btvs.
A/N: Hi all. Two chapters in one week is something I don't normally like to do but well I really need to get this finished up before April. So as it stands now expect a few more chapters. I think we have maybe four more to go. Once again thank you for the reviews from old and new readers alike. I'm glad you guys seem partial to a prequel to this story. I just might do that. I'm kidding it's pretty much a done deal. I'll probably start on it soon. Enjoy. Skyz.
~*~
Ch:18
"It's simple really," Gunn spoke into his cell as he stepped into the safe house closing the door behind him.
He was on the phone with one of his old associates who had connections in the government. Real powerful people who knew how to get things done.
Rubbing his chin he finished the conversation on a light note and glanced around the living room with surprised eyes. The house seemed for the most part to be empty. This was surprising since Buffy had ordered some of the others to stay behind to watch Spike's men.
Tossing his coat on the couch he headed for the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He knew he shouldn't but since no one was around he shrugged and switched on the little t.v. in the kitchen. The 76's were playing and he wanted to catch the score.
Humming off key he went about making his sandwich and keeping an ear out for any signs of Buffy. He knew it wouldn't do to get caught slaking off especially by her. He was in the process of taking a big bite out of his sandwich when a voice stopped him.
"Gunn," Wesley's voice echoed in the large kitchen as he stepped hesitantly in his eyes on Gunn.
Gunn swallowed, dropped his sandwich back on his plate and gritted his teeth together.
He turned his gaze from Wes and stared intently at the t.v.
Being ignored was not a thing Wes was used to and abruptly he moved, turning off the t.v. standing directly in front of Gunn.
"I want to talk to you," Wes finally spoke again.
Gunn let his eyes meet Wes's and then he smiled. A cold and dangerous smile and Wes was suddenly reminded of who he was dealing with.
"You...I know that you feel you need to blame me for what happened to Fred but...I need to tell y-"
Gunn brushed past him and when Wes reached out and gripped his arm he stiffened and inhaled deeply.
"Don't touch me Wes," Gunn finally spat out.
He didn't need this, not now. Especially from Wesley.
"I'm sorry Gunn," Wes said then his voice laced with shame and sorrow.
Gunn jerked his arm from Wes's grip and whirled to face him, his face a mask of barely restrained anger.
"You should be sorry," he spat. "You should be on your knees thanking God you aren't dead too because if I had my way Wesley you would be! Now I know you're here to help out Buffy but stay away from me. I have nothing left to say to you."
Shoving past Wes Gunn marched into the livingroom and up the stairs. Anger made him curse under his breath and want to strangle some one.
Headed for his room he was roused out of his anger by voices.
He paused as he recognized Faith's voice.
Frowning he turned and proceeded to Spike's room where he shoved open the door with one hand and glared at the two occupants in the room.
"What are you doing?" he demanded looking at Faith who'd stopped mid word and was staring at Gunn expressionlessly. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothin'," she replied shrugging her shoulders glancing at Spike who leaned against the wall his expression contemplative.
"Faith," Gunn spoke a warning in his voice. "Don't lie to me!"
Exasperated Faith sighed and moved to head out of the room.
"I wasn't doing anything," she muttered angrily before she walked out.
Gunn remained in the room eyeing Spike through narrowed eyes.
"What?" Spike asked irritated uncrossing his arms. Pushing off from the wall, he began to hunt for his shoes.
"It isn't Faith's place to tell you anything and you shouldn't ask her to either," Gunn stated calmly.
Spike ignored him and began to pull on socks.
Faith hadn't even begun to tell him everything, he thought with a smirk. Gunn had walked in and now he was getting a bloody lecture!
"Look," he finally snapped out glaring at Gunn," I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do!"
"I'm not telling you. I am warning you. Stay away from Faith, if you want answers you ask Buffy. It's her story to tell!"
"Jealous? You think I want your lady huh?" Spike asked with a mocking twist of his lips.
Gunn merely stared at Spike, his brown eyes flat and cold.
"Do you know why Buffy won't tell you herself? Why she can't bring herself to spill her secrets to you?" Gunn asked smiling now.
Spike shrugged.
"Bet you're going to tell me," he mumbled.
Gunn laughed.
"Nah. It's not my place to say, but I will warn you Faith pretty much hates you; her view on things might be a little skewed. If you ask nicely maybe Buffy'll tell you herself. I suggest you try."
"She won't talk to me," Spike found himself admitting in a quiet voice.
Gunn frowned.
"What did you expect?" he wondered aloud. "You put her through as much as she put you through. She's bound to have a bunch of walls up. She doesn't want to trust you."
Spike jerked his boots on, anger made his voice harsh and thin as he snapped.
"I'm not going to hurt her! I told her that, and I told you that already! No one wants to believe me!"
Gunn shoved his hands in his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet, an annoyed look passing his face before he shoved it away.
"Now you want me to feel sorry for you? Sorry dawg but that aint gonna happen. You and I both know everyone has good reason to doubt you. Especially Buffy. I was there, I saw what you did to her and I know her. Shit like that sticks with you. Why should she open herself up to you? What will she get? Hurt, broken? Death? What are you offering her Spike?"
Spike lowered his head, words failing him for a moment. He hadn't expected this to be easy. To have her the minute he opened his mouth but he hadn't expected it to be this hard either.
He had been anticipating a reaction based upon last year and now he knew the tables had been turned and he was in Buffy's position.
"Anything she needs," he whispered at last, his voice rough and thick with emotions he felt embarrassed to be showing in front of Gunn.
Gunn grunted slightly and they remained in a slightly companionable silence until Gunn felt the need to break it.
"You should be grateful," he muttered. "Buffy's in love with you. It's forever for her and she's already forgiven you. She just hasn't admitted it. You're lucky she's alive," Gunn's voice cracked as he ended.
Spike glanced up and peered at him through narrowed blue eyes.
"Uh...." he began uncertainly noting the pain and resignation that filled the other man's eyes.
Gunn cleared his throat shook his head and took a step back.
"You hurt her again and I'll kill you. They'll never find the body," Gunn stated coldly as he met Spike's eyes.
Spike stiffened slightly and clenched his jaw. He took a step closer to Gunn, wanting him to realize who he was dealing with.
Gunn was unfazed though as he took his own steps forward, until they were in eachother's personal space. Almost nose to nose.
"I'm a powerful man," Spike gritted out.
Gunn smirked.
"So am I," was his only response as he let his smirk turn into a grin as he slapped a large hand on Spike's back. "Now that's settled I've got no problem with you, in fact underneath that bleached hair I'm sure there's a guy I'd like to get to know better. Keep what I said in mind."
Moving Gunn left Spike alone to ponder his words.
~*~
Gunn found Faith just coming out of the shower a towel wrapped around her, another covered her head.
Gunn didn't say a word as he sat on the edge of their bed and she ignored him, drying off and getting dressed quickly.
"You think I was mackin' on B's husband? Were you jealous Gunn? That why you talked to me like that?" Faith finally asked as she angrily ran a brush through her wet hair. "I'm not Fred! I wouldn't cheat on y-"
Gunn rose from the bed and gently took the brush from Faith's iron clad grip pushed her back on the bed and settled behind her.
He took the task of brushing her hair on himself.
"Did I say that?" he asked then. "Did I compare you to her Faith? I was passing by and heard your voice, heard what you were saying. You know it's not your place right? To tell him anything."
Faith scowled, leaning back against him.
"He's a prick," she announced. As if that settled the matter.
Gunn wasn't sure why it made him smile but a smile appeared as he continued to brush her hair.
"Yeah he kinda is, but Buffy needs him. You need to let them sort this out by themselves. You may not like him but he's here to stay."
Faith pouted slightly not liking what she was hearing. She really did not like Spike and he certainly didn't deserve Buffy.
"Why couldn't it have been some one else? Any one else? He's so.....ugh!"
Gunn laughed out loud at that.
"You know if I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous of him! Are you upset that he gets a part of Buffy you don't babe? I mean you worked together for years as partners. A team. In fact I can kinda understand it's like a single parent dating again. Here's this new person taking someone who's been there for you away. Always and now she's spending time and giving all her love to someone else. You don't trust him because he's hurt her before. Understandable. But he's trying, he says he's changed."
"Please! People like him don't change," Faith muttered mockingly. She knew people like Spike and they'd never changed. Her parents for example. Bitterness twisted her gut and caused her to taking a deep shuddering breath.
Gunn tilted her head back so she could look up at him.
"A lot of people could say the same for you Faith. In fact if I recall correctly I thought like that once too. You showed me though. People can change, grow and become better people. It's not us he's gotta impress babe. He's Buffy's problem and if she can accept him again so can you."
Faith wanted to believe Gunn, his confidence was a thing she'd relied on, on more than one occasion. He was her rock and if he said it, it usually came true; he was just like that sometimes.
But this she couldn't give up on so easily.
"He hurt her," she whispered. She didn't have to think back to remember, it was always there.
Buffy was like a sister to her, she was one of three she considered blood and she couldn't forgive as easily as Buffy could. But then again she wasn't in love with Spike, she thought with a grimace.
"I know," Gunn whispered back dropping a kiss on the base of her neck. "And it was shitty the things they did to eachother but it's time to move on. Like I've moved on from Fred."
Faith abruptly removed herself from Gunn's grasp and rose from the bed; she began to search for something. She didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to talk about Fred. The woman she could never replace, she thought with a sad bitterness.
Gunn cringed at his carelessness.
"You haven't moved on," Faith's voice stopped him from apologizing.
He stared at her bent form in shock and mild anger.
"Haven't I? I'm with you aren't I?" he snapped out.
"Only because she's not here," Faith countered giving up the pretense of looking for anything. She stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself.
Gunn felt his walls begin to build and his throat tightened.
"That's not true," he said. "I love you and I loved her but it's a different kinda love. I have moved on!"
"If you say so," was all the reply he got.
Getting off the bed angrily he reached out and gripped her arm and turned her to face him.
"What the hell brought this on? You haven't mentioned Fred in years!"
"I saw Wes downstairs," Faith grudgingly admitted.
"Son of a bitch," Gunn exploded. "Why's he always trying to ruin my life?"
"You haven't moved on because you still blame him for what happened to her. And I still blame Spike so you're kinda the pot callin' the kettle black," Faith murmured watching him with wary eyes as he clenched and unclenched his hands. Anger was coming off him in waves.
Gunn glanced at Faith ready to yell, ask why she had to bring up Wes until he got a good look at her face. Realized what she'd been trying to do.
She still didn't feel she counted for much with him, still felt she was second best. But she'd never been that to him. She was so much more than he'd ever expected; she made him feel alive for the first time in a real long time.
Rubbing a hand over his bald head he relaxed slightly and wondered how to go about smoothing those pesky insecurities Faith harbored.
"I wouldn't be the man I am today had I not loved Winifred," he began and saw Faith flinch. He ignored it, "I loved her....so much that it's a wonder I survived after she died-"
"But if she hadn't died could you have forgiven her? For being with Wes?" Faith cut in quickly her voice suspicious.
Gunn shrugged, knowing that what he said here would have to be carefully structured so it wouldn't make Faith run off.
"I loved her. If I love you I'll always give you the benefit of a doubt and a second chance. But she died before that so we'll never know will we? But what I'm trying to say here Faith is that even though she taught me how to love, you are the reason I'm alive today. You aren't sorry for any of the things you've done, you aren't ashamed and I'm sure you'd do it all over again. You and I are alike, so much so that's why it was hard for me to let you in. To let myself love you-"
"Because I wasn't a saint or that smart like Fred," Faith mumbled turning her back on him, hating that she still felt this way about Fred. Once upon a time the four of them, her and Gunn, Wes and Fred had been best of friends. But she'd always envied Fred her smarts, her devoted boyfriend, her pureness.
Gunn cringed.
"No one's perfect and Fred wasn't. She cheated on me. But I don't want to talk about her! I want to talk about you and me."
"What's the point?" she asked with a choked laugh. "I can't live up to her and I'll be damned if I'll try either. She's dead and I'm what you settled for. Well fuck that-"
Gunn moved fast as she walked quickly to the door. He jumped in front of her, his face resolute and determined.
"I'm in love with you Faith. I'm sorry you don't believe that but it's the truth. And I have never settled in all my life and never with you! I knew what I was getting myself into when you and I began this. You aren't Fred but you hold the same amount of hold on my heart she does. If not more because this is it for me. You're the last woman for me. That's a promise. A fact."
They stared at eachother a moment.
He'd opened his heart up to her, and now as he stood there he wanted some sort of reaction from her. Wanted her to return his love, maybe jump into his arms. Something to tell him she knew he spoke the truth. She was everything to him.
Faith wanted to believe him. Needed to. But it was impossible to believe him when she knew first hand how he'd felt about Fred, how much he had loved her. He couldn't possible love her like that. She just knew it, so she said nothing as she turned and walked out of the room.
~*~
"So you never realized Xander was in love with you?" Anya asked curiously as they made their way up the walk.
"Well," Buffy began. "Of course I knew he had a crush on me but then I didn't think too much of it. I mean he met you and he was happy. You two were in love and I thought his crush was in the past. I won't go into the details but last year was when it finally dawned on me that he was or thought he was in love with me. He was drunk and found me talking to Spike. He got upset, started waving his gun around. Anyway he shot me and that's when I realized he loved me. He was so sorry, so Xander that I didn't have it in me to turn my back on him. I told him that what he was doing with you was wrong if he didn't love you. At the time he assured me he loved you. I figured it was the truth, I told him he and I would never have worked like that."
Anya was silent as they made their way into the house. She knew there was more to it than that and she really wished Buffy would confess it all.
Faith was sprawled on the couch, her arms raised above her head the t.v. on and her eyes were closed.
"So you thought he understood?" Anya asked as she plopped down in a chair tugging the strap of the gym bag off her shoulder and laying it at her feet. She'd been afraid to leave it behind, who knew what could have happened to it. The house could have burned, or one of Spike's men could have stolen it! So many possibilities so she'd just taken it with her. For safe keeping.
"Yes. I did. I'm truly sorry he's done this to you Anya I never thought he had it in him to hurt some one like that," Buffy said staring at Anya her voice ringing with sincerity and remorse.
"It's true. You can't trust them, men are here to ruin us," Faith spoke up then her tone bitter.
Buffy pulled her gaze from Anya to take Faith in.
"What's wrong Faith?" she asked as she moved Faith's legs off the couch and took a seat next to her.
"Nothing," was Faith's short reply.
"So you're in a bad mood for nothing? You're not PMSing are you?" Buffy asked with a little laugh trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.
"Gunn says Spike seems to really want to change. That he's changed and I should accept that you love him. But I can't not until you do B. So you'd better get on that soon or I'll find myself telling more of your secrets."
Buffy froze in shock as she stared at Faith's covered head. Reaching out she gripped one of her arms and pulled it away from her face.
"What did you tell him?" she demanded with a worried frown.
Faith opened her eyes and stared into Buffy's.
Anya looked from one to the other in rapt fascination as she wondered what Faith had said and why she wasn't saying it aloud so she could hear.
Her thoughts briefly drifted to Xander then she pushed him aside, she'd deal with him later.
"You had no right to tell him anything," Buffy finally managed to get out her voice laced with anger and resignation.
"Well I did," was all Faith said as she stood.
"You should really keep out of other people's business Faith," Anya piped up. "Or if you wanted to be helpful you could have told me about Xander being in love with Buffy for years now. Buffy can handle her own problems!"
Faith's eyes darted to the stairs as Gunn's heavy footsteps sounded and he jogged down the stairs. His gaze flickered around the room and rested on Buffy a moment.
"Get anything on Quint?" he demanded.
Buffy pulled herself from her thoughts and nodded.
"Good. I've got news too; I think we should call back in Oz and the rest and get this rolling. We need to finish this," he spoke quickly and shifted in agitation as both Anya's and Buffy's eyes rested on him.
Buffy glanced at Faith who was blatantly ignoring Gunn then rolled her eyes before she turned to face Gunn again.
"You're right."
~*~
The rest of the Scoobies minus Lilah, Linds, and Wes gathered around the livingroom.
Buffy laid out their game plan as simply as she could, ignoring all the under currents that had flooded the room the minute it was filled. She didn't have time to deal with everyone's problems much less her own.
"Quint has a deal with an arms dealer about to go down but I've taken care of that and as of now I'm the proud owner of a few hundred M16's and an assortment of other goodies Quint wants to get his hands on. I've set up a meeting through Willy for tomorrow night. Gunn has taken care of the rest. Go ahead Gunn."
Buffy turned to look at Gunn who nodded and rose taking Buffy's place.
"Well Buffy and I were talking about the best punishment for Quint and decided who better to get rid of him than those who he's screwed over in the past. A lot of people want to deal with Omega and so as of now there's a silent auction going on for Quint. The highest bidder wins and we hand him over. They're free to do as they want with him as long as our names remain unlinked. So by the time Buffy heads to see him the auction should be over and he'll be handled."
Spike glanced from Buffy to Gunn a frown crossing his face; he didn't like that he hadn't been consulted about this. He thought he had the right considering it was Quint who was partially responsible for ruining his life!
"So you two just decided this then? Without my input?" he spoke up then angry and hurt that she couldn't even ask his opinion on the matter. Didn't he deserve better than that?
Buffy sighed and glanced over at her husband.
"Spike you're a felon you can't get your hands dirty and even if you weren't I don't need you involved. I know Quint, we all know him and it's best we handle this our way. Now as for Angel-"
"He's mine," Spike interrupted abruptly daring anyone to disagree with him.
Buffy shrugged, she would talk to him about that later.
"Willow how'd the work on those files go?" Buffy asked.
"Well as of now we're in sole control of all of Omega's assets. Here and abroad. We know everything Quentin's been involved in. So all we have to figure out is what to do with it," Willow said with a huge grin.
Buffy smiled slightly. Everything was falling into place; she mused as they spoke for a few more minutes then she dismissed them and headed for the kitchen.
She wasn't surprised when Spike followed her in.
"What was that?" he demanded.
Buffy poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Not tellin' me what you planned for the old man! He didn't just ruin you pet, he ruined me-"
"No I did that," Buffy interrupted coldly. "He might have put the finishing touches but that was all me Spike. Put the blame where it belongs."
He scowled then shook his head.
"Still it would have been nice to have been let in on it," he grumbled.
Buffy sipped her coffee her eyes on the floor.
Spike exhaled sharply wondering how to approach her, this morning hadn't gone well at all. She seemed to need nothing from him and he didn't know how to handle it.
He remembered Gunn's words and decided to take them to heart.
What harm would it do to ask?
"Buffy...." he began softly.
"Look," Buffy began at the same time.
They paused.
"Go ahead," Spike offered smiling.
Buffy scowled.
"About this morning. I just wanted to let you know I haven't changed my mind. It was a mistake. And I want you to stay away from Faith! She doesn't like you and I think you upset her. If you have something to say then say it to me. Or if you want answers don't go to her or anyone else. If you can't do that then we have a problem!"
Spike's own anger came forth as he paced the large kitchen.
"Oh I'd say we have more than one problem here woman! We've got dozens. You don't trust me and I get that. I can't ask anyone else about your secrets I get that now too. But you know what? What I don't get is where you think it's okay to keep them from me! I deserve to know about this and if you won't tell me I'll go to some one who will. I want answers and I'll be damned if-"
"Answers," Buffy interrupted loudly slamming her cup down so hard coffee spilled all over.
"Yes! I deserve them!"
"Well how far did Faith get with her little blab fest?!" Buffy demanded angrily, she hated that Faith couldn't keep her mouth shut and Spike couldn't let this go. It was none of his business and she didn't need to tell him anything!
"Well she got to the part where she and Willow came and Giles filled them in about you messin' with me too much," Spike said staring at her intently.
Buffy ran a hand through her hair and blew out a deep breath.
"Well what do you want me to say? Want me to tell you I asked for their help in keeping you out of prison? That if caught they could have gone to prison too? That I married you knowing that as soon as it was finished you'd be carted off? That I used every method I'd learned to pull strings? Got you the best damn lawyers in America? Put a gun to various politicians' heads and threatened to pull the trigger if they didn't do as I told them? Well there you go Spike! There's more do you think you can handle it? DO you?" she asked with in taunting voice.
She knew he pictured her as a heartless bitch that'd left him to rot the rest of his life in prison. That she hadn't given a damn about him!
Well she'd take pleasure in this, she mused as she watched his face work with what she'd just told him.
"There's more?" he asked then.
Buffy smiled.
"Isn't there always?" she asked waving her arms. "Don't you want to hear it all? The way I foolishly gave it all up for you? My relentless pursuit of keeping William the Bloody as safe as possible. As sane as could be. I told you once you didn't realize how much I loved you. How much I still d-"she cut herself off viciously.
Spike's eyes narrowed dangerously as he advanced on her, leaned into her body, and planted his hands on the counter next to her own.
"You love me?" he asked with a grin.
Buffy scowled, resisted the urge to shove him away from her.
"That's not what I said," she spat.
This wasn't the truth because they both knew what she'd said. She was in love with him and Spike was determined to get to the bottom of it all.
So he let that slide.
"Tell me your secrets," he whispered at her ear. He reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek. "Let me in Buffy."
Buffy hitched in a breath, closed her eyes.
"Well like Faith said they were sent to talk some sense into me...." she began.
~*~
"Should we be listening to this?" Anya asked the group that had gathered near the doorway of the kitchen out of sight by the couple inside.
Faith glared at her missing some of Buffy's words.
"We need to see if this changes anything for him. If he can understand and if she can forgive him," she snapped in a hushed tone.
"Well I just want to see what I missed. I only helped out on the wedding and the rest not so much," Willow piped up. "Buffy's never explained things clearly to me. I wanna know."
"Eavesdropping won't get you anywhere," Gunn commented from the wall as he took the women in.
Anya turned to face Gunn shushing him.
"That's because you already know it all don't you?" she asked sharply. "And since you're not likely to tell us we need to know."
Gunn watched them all turn back to the events in the kitchen.
Turning he wandered back into the livingroom and found Oz and Tara sitting alone in silence.
"You don't wanna hear too Tara? You see where Xander ran off to?" he asked as he grabbed the remote from Oz and began to flick through the channels.
Tara shrugged.
"If Buffy wanted us all to hear she'd of told us all. Besides I already know all I need too about her and Spike. If you'll excuse me I've got some calls to make."
She rose and left the two men alone.
"Nope. He probably needs to be alone right now. So who won the game? The Sixers or the Sonic's?" Oz asked then getting up and snatching the remote back.
"Like you care dawg! We aren't gonna watch one of those nature programs on Wolves again are we? Cuz seriously my man you're worrying me a little with your obsession! Put it on ESPN."
Oz ignored him and turned it to the Discovery Channel which just happened to be showing a program on white wolves.
Gunn groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"I'm gonna start callin' you wolfman from now on dude!"
"Whatever you say Charles," Oz replied with a laugh.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns Btvs.
A/N: Hi all. Two chapters in one week is something I don't normally like to do but well I really need to get this finished up before April. So as it stands now expect a few more chapters. I think we have maybe four more to go. Once again thank you for the reviews from old and new readers alike. I'm glad you guys seem partial to a prequel to this story. I just might do that. I'm kidding it's pretty much a done deal. I'll probably start on it soon. Enjoy. Skyz.
~*~
Ch:18
"It's simple really," Gunn spoke into his cell as he stepped into the safe house closing the door behind him.
He was on the phone with one of his old associates who had connections in the government. Real powerful people who knew how to get things done.
Rubbing his chin he finished the conversation on a light note and glanced around the living room with surprised eyes. The house seemed for the most part to be empty. This was surprising since Buffy had ordered some of the others to stay behind to watch Spike's men.
Tossing his coat on the couch he headed for the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He knew he shouldn't but since no one was around he shrugged and switched on the little t.v. in the kitchen. The 76's were playing and he wanted to catch the score.
Humming off key he went about making his sandwich and keeping an ear out for any signs of Buffy. He knew it wouldn't do to get caught slaking off especially by her. He was in the process of taking a big bite out of his sandwich when a voice stopped him.
"Gunn," Wesley's voice echoed in the large kitchen as he stepped hesitantly in his eyes on Gunn.
Gunn swallowed, dropped his sandwich back on his plate and gritted his teeth together.
He turned his gaze from Wes and stared intently at the t.v.
Being ignored was not a thing Wes was used to and abruptly he moved, turning off the t.v. standing directly in front of Gunn.
"I want to talk to you," Wes finally spoke again.
Gunn let his eyes meet Wes's and then he smiled. A cold and dangerous smile and Wes was suddenly reminded of who he was dealing with.
"You...I know that you feel you need to blame me for what happened to Fred but...I need to tell y-"
Gunn brushed past him and when Wes reached out and gripped his arm he stiffened and inhaled deeply.
"Don't touch me Wes," Gunn finally spat out.
He didn't need this, not now. Especially from Wesley.
"I'm sorry Gunn," Wes said then his voice laced with shame and sorrow.
Gunn jerked his arm from Wes's grip and whirled to face him, his face a mask of barely restrained anger.
"You should be sorry," he spat. "You should be on your knees thanking God you aren't dead too because if I had my way Wesley you would be! Now I know you're here to help out Buffy but stay away from me. I have nothing left to say to you."
Shoving past Wes Gunn marched into the livingroom and up the stairs. Anger made him curse under his breath and want to strangle some one.
Headed for his room he was roused out of his anger by voices.
He paused as he recognized Faith's voice.
Frowning he turned and proceeded to Spike's room where he shoved open the door with one hand and glared at the two occupants in the room.
"What are you doing?" he demanded looking at Faith who'd stopped mid word and was staring at Gunn expressionlessly. "What were you talking about?"
"Nothin'," she replied shrugging her shoulders glancing at Spike who leaned against the wall his expression contemplative.
"Faith," Gunn spoke a warning in his voice. "Don't lie to me!"
Exasperated Faith sighed and moved to head out of the room.
"I wasn't doing anything," she muttered angrily before she walked out.
Gunn remained in the room eyeing Spike through narrowed eyes.
"What?" Spike asked irritated uncrossing his arms. Pushing off from the wall, he began to hunt for his shoes.
"It isn't Faith's place to tell you anything and you shouldn't ask her to either," Gunn stated calmly.
Spike ignored him and began to pull on socks.
Faith hadn't even begun to tell him everything, he thought with a smirk. Gunn had walked in and now he was getting a bloody lecture!
"Look," he finally snapped out glaring at Gunn," I don't need you to tell me what I can and can't do!"
"I'm not telling you. I am warning you. Stay away from Faith, if you want answers you ask Buffy. It's her story to tell!"
"Jealous? You think I want your lady huh?" Spike asked with a mocking twist of his lips.
Gunn merely stared at Spike, his brown eyes flat and cold.
"Do you know why Buffy won't tell you herself? Why she can't bring herself to spill her secrets to you?" Gunn asked smiling now.
Spike shrugged.
"Bet you're going to tell me," he mumbled.
Gunn laughed.
"Nah. It's not my place to say, but I will warn you Faith pretty much hates you; her view on things might be a little skewed. If you ask nicely maybe Buffy'll tell you herself. I suggest you try."
"She won't talk to me," Spike found himself admitting in a quiet voice.
Gunn frowned.
"What did you expect?" he wondered aloud. "You put her through as much as she put you through. She's bound to have a bunch of walls up. She doesn't want to trust you."
Spike jerked his boots on, anger made his voice harsh and thin as he snapped.
"I'm not going to hurt her! I told her that, and I told you that already! No one wants to believe me!"
Gunn shoved his hands in his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet, an annoyed look passing his face before he shoved it away.
"Now you want me to feel sorry for you? Sorry dawg but that aint gonna happen. You and I both know everyone has good reason to doubt you. Especially Buffy. I was there, I saw what you did to her and I know her. Shit like that sticks with you. Why should she open herself up to you? What will she get? Hurt, broken? Death? What are you offering her Spike?"
Spike lowered his head, words failing him for a moment. He hadn't expected this to be easy. To have her the minute he opened his mouth but he hadn't expected it to be this hard either.
He had been anticipating a reaction based upon last year and now he knew the tables had been turned and he was in Buffy's position.
"Anything she needs," he whispered at last, his voice rough and thick with emotions he felt embarrassed to be showing in front of Gunn.
Gunn grunted slightly and they remained in a slightly companionable silence until Gunn felt the need to break it.
"You should be grateful," he muttered. "Buffy's in love with you. It's forever for her and she's already forgiven you. She just hasn't admitted it. You're lucky she's alive," Gunn's voice cracked as he ended.
Spike glanced up and peered at him through narrowed blue eyes.
"Uh...." he began uncertainly noting the pain and resignation that filled the other man's eyes.
Gunn cleared his throat shook his head and took a step back.
"You hurt her again and I'll kill you. They'll never find the body," Gunn stated coldly as he met Spike's eyes.
Spike stiffened slightly and clenched his jaw. He took a step closer to Gunn, wanting him to realize who he was dealing with.
Gunn was unfazed though as he took his own steps forward, until they were in eachother's personal space. Almost nose to nose.
"I'm a powerful man," Spike gritted out.
Gunn smirked.
"So am I," was his only response as he let his smirk turn into a grin as he slapped a large hand on Spike's back. "Now that's settled I've got no problem with you, in fact underneath that bleached hair I'm sure there's a guy I'd like to get to know better. Keep what I said in mind."
Moving Gunn left Spike alone to ponder his words.
~*~
Gunn found Faith just coming out of the shower a towel wrapped around her, another covered her head.
Gunn didn't say a word as he sat on the edge of their bed and she ignored him, drying off and getting dressed quickly.
"You think I was mackin' on B's husband? Were you jealous Gunn? That why you talked to me like that?" Faith finally asked as she angrily ran a brush through her wet hair. "I'm not Fred! I wouldn't cheat on y-"
Gunn rose from the bed and gently took the brush from Faith's iron clad grip pushed her back on the bed and settled behind her.
He took the task of brushing her hair on himself.
"Did I say that?" he asked then. "Did I compare you to her Faith? I was passing by and heard your voice, heard what you were saying. You know it's not your place right? To tell him anything."
Faith scowled, leaning back against him.
"He's a prick," she announced. As if that settled the matter.
Gunn wasn't sure why it made him smile but a smile appeared as he continued to brush her hair.
"Yeah he kinda is, but Buffy needs him. You need to let them sort this out by themselves. You may not like him but he's here to stay."
Faith pouted slightly not liking what she was hearing. She really did not like Spike and he certainly didn't deserve Buffy.
"Why couldn't it have been some one else? Any one else? He's so.....ugh!"
Gunn laughed out loud at that.
"You know if I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous of him! Are you upset that he gets a part of Buffy you don't babe? I mean you worked together for years as partners. A team. In fact I can kinda understand it's like a single parent dating again. Here's this new person taking someone who's been there for you away. Always and now she's spending time and giving all her love to someone else. You don't trust him because he's hurt her before. Understandable. But he's trying, he says he's changed."
"Please! People like him don't change," Faith muttered mockingly. She knew people like Spike and they'd never changed. Her parents for example. Bitterness twisted her gut and caused her to taking a deep shuddering breath.
Gunn tilted her head back so she could look up at him.
"A lot of people could say the same for you Faith. In fact if I recall correctly I thought like that once too. You showed me though. People can change, grow and become better people. It's not us he's gotta impress babe. He's Buffy's problem and if she can accept him again so can you."
Faith wanted to believe Gunn, his confidence was a thing she'd relied on, on more than one occasion. He was her rock and if he said it, it usually came true; he was just like that sometimes.
But this she couldn't give up on so easily.
"He hurt her," she whispered. She didn't have to think back to remember, it was always there.
Buffy was like a sister to her, she was one of three she considered blood and she couldn't forgive as easily as Buffy could. But then again she wasn't in love with Spike, she thought with a grimace.
"I know," Gunn whispered back dropping a kiss on the base of her neck. "And it was shitty the things they did to eachother but it's time to move on. Like I've moved on from Fred."
Faith abruptly removed herself from Gunn's grasp and rose from the bed; she began to search for something. She didn't want to look at him, didn't want him to talk about Fred. The woman she could never replace, she thought with a sad bitterness.
Gunn cringed at his carelessness.
"You haven't moved on," Faith's voice stopped him from apologizing.
He stared at her bent form in shock and mild anger.
"Haven't I? I'm with you aren't I?" he snapped out.
"Only because she's not here," Faith countered giving up the pretense of looking for anything. She stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself.
Gunn felt his walls begin to build and his throat tightened.
"That's not true," he said. "I love you and I loved her but it's a different kinda love. I have moved on!"
"If you say so," was all the reply he got.
Getting off the bed angrily he reached out and gripped her arm and turned her to face him.
"What the hell brought this on? You haven't mentioned Fred in years!"
"I saw Wes downstairs," Faith grudgingly admitted.
"Son of a bitch," Gunn exploded. "Why's he always trying to ruin my life?"
"You haven't moved on because you still blame him for what happened to her. And I still blame Spike so you're kinda the pot callin' the kettle black," Faith murmured watching him with wary eyes as he clenched and unclenched his hands. Anger was coming off him in waves.
Gunn glanced at Faith ready to yell, ask why she had to bring up Wes until he got a good look at her face. Realized what she'd been trying to do.
She still didn't feel she counted for much with him, still felt she was second best. But she'd never been that to him. She was so much more than he'd ever expected; she made him feel alive for the first time in a real long time.
Rubbing a hand over his bald head he relaxed slightly and wondered how to go about smoothing those pesky insecurities Faith harbored.
"I wouldn't be the man I am today had I not loved Winifred," he began and saw Faith flinch. He ignored it, "I loved her....so much that it's a wonder I survived after she died-"
"But if she hadn't died could you have forgiven her? For being with Wes?" Faith cut in quickly her voice suspicious.
Gunn shrugged, knowing that what he said here would have to be carefully structured so it wouldn't make Faith run off.
"I loved her. If I love you I'll always give you the benefit of a doubt and a second chance. But she died before that so we'll never know will we? But what I'm trying to say here Faith is that even though she taught me how to love, you are the reason I'm alive today. You aren't sorry for any of the things you've done, you aren't ashamed and I'm sure you'd do it all over again. You and I are alike, so much so that's why it was hard for me to let you in. To let myself love you-"
"Because I wasn't a saint or that smart like Fred," Faith mumbled turning her back on him, hating that she still felt this way about Fred. Once upon a time the four of them, her and Gunn, Wes and Fred had been best of friends. But she'd always envied Fred her smarts, her devoted boyfriend, her pureness.
Gunn cringed.
"No one's perfect and Fred wasn't. She cheated on me. But I don't want to talk about her! I want to talk about you and me."
"What's the point?" she asked with a choked laugh. "I can't live up to her and I'll be damned if I'll try either. She's dead and I'm what you settled for. Well fuck that-"
Gunn moved fast as she walked quickly to the door. He jumped in front of her, his face resolute and determined.
"I'm in love with you Faith. I'm sorry you don't believe that but it's the truth. And I have never settled in all my life and never with you! I knew what I was getting myself into when you and I began this. You aren't Fred but you hold the same amount of hold on my heart she does. If not more because this is it for me. You're the last woman for me. That's a promise. A fact."
They stared at eachother a moment.
He'd opened his heart up to her, and now as he stood there he wanted some sort of reaction from her. Wanted her to return his love, maybe jump into his arms. Something to tell him she knew he spoke the truth. She was everything to him.
Faith wanted to believe him. Needed to. But it was impossible to believe him when she knew first hand how he'd felt about Fred, how much he had loved her. He couldn't possible love her like that. She just knew it, so she said nothing as she turned and walked out of the room.
~*~
"So you never realized Xander was in love with you?" Anya asked curiously as they made their way up the walk.
"Well," Buffy began. "Of course I knew he had a crush on me but then I didn't think too much of it. I mean he met you and he was happy. You two were in love and I thought his crush was in the past. I won't go into the details but last year was when it finally dawned on me that he was or thought he was in love with me. He was drunk and found me talking to Spike. He got upset, started waving his gun around. Anyway he shot me and that's when I realized he loved me. He was so sorry, so Xander that I didn't have it in me to turn my back on him. I told him that what he was doing with you was wrong if he didn't love you. At the time he assured me he loved you. I figured it was the truth, I told him he and I would never have worked like that."
Anya was silent as they made their way into the house. She knew there was more to it than that and she really wished Buffy would confess it all.
Faith was sprawled on the couch, her arms raised above her head the t.v. on and her eyes were closed.
"So you thought he understood?" Anya asked as she plopped down in a chair tugging the strap of the gym bag off her shoulder and laying it at her feet. She'd been afraid to leave it behind, who knew what could have happened to it. The house could have burned, or one of Spike's men could have stolen it! So many possibilities so she'd just taken it with her. For safe keeping.
"Yes. I did. I'm truly sorry he's done this to you Anya I never thought he had it in him to hurt some one like that," Buffy said staring at Anya her voice ringing with sincerity and remorse.
"It's true. You can't trust them, men are here to ruin us," Faith spoke up then her tone bitter.
Buffy pulled her gaze from Anya to take Faith in.
"What's wrong Faith?" she asked as she moved Faith's legs off the couch and took a seat next to her.
"Nothing," was Faith's short reply.
"So you're in a bad mood for nothing? You're not PMSing are you?" Buffy asked with a little laugh trying to break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen.
"Gunn says Spike seems to really want to change. That he's changed and I should accept that you love him. But I can't not until you do B. So you'd better get on that soon or I'll find myself telling more of your secrets."
Buffy froze in shock as she stared at Faith's covered head. Reaching out she gripped one of her arms and pulled it away from her face.
"What did you tell him?" she demanded with a worried frown.
Faith opened her eyes and stared into Buffy's.
Anya looked from one to the other in rapt fascination as she wondered what Faith had said and why she wasn't saying it aloud so she could hear.
Her thoughts briefly drifted to Xander then she pushed him aside, she'd deal with him later.
"You had no right to tell him anything," Buffy finally managed to get out her voice laced with anger and resignation.
"Well I did," was all Faith said as she stood.
"You should really keep out of other people's business Faith," Anya piped up. "Or if you wanted to be helpful you could have told me about Xander being in love with Buffy for years now. Buffy can handle her own problems!"
Faith's eyes darted to the stairs as Gunn's heavy footsteps sounded and he jogged down the stairs. His gaze flickered around the room and rested on Buffy a moment.
"Get anything on Quint?" he demanded.
Buffy pulled herself from her thoughts and nodded.
"Good. I've got news too; I think we should call back in Oz and the rest and get this rolling. We need to finish this," he spoke quickly and shifted in agitation as both Anya's and Buffy's eyes rested on him.
Buffy glanced at Faith who was blatantly ignoring Gunn then rolled her eyes before she turned to face Gunn again.
"You're right."
~*~
The rest of the Scoobies minus Lilah, Linds, and Wes gathered around the livingroom.
Buffy laid out their game plan as simply as she could, ignoring all the under currents that had flooded the room the minute it was filled. She didn't have time to deal with everyone's problems much less her own.
"Quint has a deal with an arms dealer about to go down but I've taken care of that and as of now I'm the proud owner of a few hundred M16's and an assortment of other goodies Quint wants to get his hands on. I've set up a meeting through Willy for tomorrow night. Gunn has taken care of the rest. Go ahead Gunn."
Buffy turned to look at Gunn who nodded and rose taking Buffy's place.
"Well Buffy and I were talking about the best punishment for Quint and decided who better to get rid of him than those who he's screwed over in the past. A lot of people want to deal with Omega and so as of now there's a silent auction going on for Quint. The highest bidder wins and we hand him over. They're free to do as they want with him as long as our names remain unlinked. So by the time Buffy heads to see him the auction should be over and he'll be handled."
Spike glanced from Buffy to Gunn a frown crossing his face; he didn't like that he hadn't been consulted about this. He thought he had the right considering it was Quint who was partially responsible for ruining his life!
"So you two just decided this then? Without my input?" he spoke up then angry and hurt that she couldn't even ask his opinion on the matter. Didn't he deserve better than that?
Buffy sighed and glanced over at her husband.
"Spike you're a felon you can't get your hands dirty and even if you weren't I don't need you involved. I know Quint, we all know him and it's best we handle this our way. Now as for Angel-"
"He's mine," Spike interrupted abruptly daring anyone to disagree with him.
Buffy shrugged, she would talk to him about that later.
"Willow how'd the work on those files go?" Buffy asked.
"Well as of now we're in sole control of all of Omega's assets. Here and abroad. We know everything Quentin's been involved in. So all we have to figure out is what to do with it," Willow said with a huge grin.
Buffy smiled slightly. Everything was falling into place; she mused as they spoke for a few more minutes then she dismissed them and headed for the kitchen.
She wasn't surprised when Spike followed her in.
"What was that?" he demanded.
Buffy poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Not tellin' me what you planned for the old man! He didn't just ruin you pet, he ruined me-"
"No I did that," Buffy interrupted coldly. "He might have put the finishing touches but that was all me Spike. Put the blame where it belongs."
He scowled then shook his head.
"Still it would have been nice to have been let in on it," he grumbled.
Buffy sipped her coffee her eyes on the floor.
Spike exhaled sharply wondering how to approach her, this morning hadn't gone well at all. She seemed to need nothing from him and he didn't know how to handle it.
He remembered Gunn's words and decided to take them to heart.
What harm would it do to ask?
"Buffy...." he began softly.
"Look," Buffy began at the same time.
They paused.
"Go ahead," Spike offered smiling.
Buffy scowled.
"About this morning. I just wanted to let you know I haven't changed my mind. It was a mistake. And I want you to stay away from Faith! She doesn't like you and I think you upset her. If you have something to say then say it to me. Or if you want answers don't go to her or anyone else. If you can't do that then we have a problem!"
Spike's own anger came forth as he paced the large kitchen.
"Oh I'd say we have more than one problem here woman! We've got dozens. You don't trust me and I get that. I can't ask anyone else about your secrets I get that now too. But you know what? What I don't get is where you think it's okay to keep them from me! I deserve to know about this and if you won't tell me I'll go to some one who will. I want answers and I'll be damned if-"
"Answers," Buffy interrupted loudly slamming her cup down so hard coffee spilled all over.
"Yes! I deserve them!"
"Well how far did Faith get with her little blab fest?!" Buffy demanded angrily, she hated that Faith couldn't keep her mouth shut and Spike couldn't let this go. It was none of his business and she didn't need to tell him anything!
"Well she got to the part where she and Willow came and Giles filled them in about you messin' with me too much," Spike said staring at her intently.
Buffy ran a hand through her hair and blew out a deep breath.
"Well what do you want me to say? Want me to tell you I asked for their help in keeping you out of prison? That if caught they could have gone to prison too? That I married you knowing that as soon as it was finished you'd be carted off? That I used every method I'd learned to pull strings? Got you the best damn lawyers in America? Put a gun to various politicians' heads and threatened to pull the trigger if they didn't do as I told them? Well there you go Spike! There's more do you think you can handle it? DO you?" she asked with in taunting voice.
She knew he pictured her as a heartless bitch that'd left him to rot the rest of his life in prison. That she hadn't given a damn about him!
Well she'd take pleasure in this, she mused as she watched his face work with what she'd just told him.
"There's more?" he asked then.
Buffy smiled.
"Isn't there always?" she asked waving her arms. "Don't you want to hear it all? The way I foolishly gave it all up for you? My relentless pursuit of keeping William the Bloody as safe as possible. As sane as could be. I told you once you didn't realize how much I loved you. How much I still d-"she cut herself off viciously.
Spike's eyes narrowed dangerously as he advanced on her, leaned into her body, and planted his hands on the counter next to her own.
"You love me?" he asked with a grin.
Buffy scowled, resisted the urge to shove him away from her.
"That's not what I said," she spat.
This wasn't the truth because they both knew what she'd said. She was in love with him and Spike was determined to get to the bottom of it all.
So he let that slide.
"Tell me your secrets," he whispered at her ear. He reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek. "Let me in Buffy."
Buffy hitched in a breath, closed her eyes.
"Well like Faith said they were sent to talk some sense into me...." she began.
~*~
"Should we be listening to this?" Anya asked the group that had gathered near the doorway of the kitchen out of sight by the couple inside.
Faith glared at her missing some of Buffy's words.
"We need to see if this changes anything for him. If he can understand and if she can forgive him," she snapped in a hushed tone.
"Well I just want to see what I missed. I only helped out on the wedding and the rest not so much," Willow piped up. "Buffy's never explained things clearly to me. I wanna know."
"Eavesdropping won't get you anywhere," Gunn commented from the wall as he took the women in.
Anya turned to face Gunn shushing him.
"That's because you already know it all don't you?" she asked sharply. "And since you're not likely to tell us we need to know."
Gunn watched them all turn back to the events in the kitchen.
Turning he wandered back into the livingroom and found Oz and Tara sitting alone in silence.
"You don't wanna hear too Tara? You see where Xander ran off to?" he asked as he grabbed the remote from Oz and began to flick through the channels.
Tara shrugged.
"If Buffy wanted us all to hear she'd of told us all. Besides I already know all I need too about her and Spike. If you'll excuse me I've got some calls to make."
She rose and left the two men alone.
"Nope. He probably needs to be alone right now. So who won the game? The Sixers or the Sonic's?" Oz asked then getting up and snatching the remote back.
"Like you care dawg! We aren't gonna watch one of those nature programs on Wolves again are we? Cuz seriously my man you're worrying me a little with your obsession! Put it on ESPN."
Oz ignored him and turned it to the Discovery Channel which just happened to be showing a program on white wolves.
Gunn groaned and covered his face with his hands.
"I'm gonna start callin' you wolfman from now on dude!"
"Whatever you say Charles," Oz replied with a laugh.