All By Myself

By Danni and Silvertress

Disclaimer: Neither Danni or I own Dragonball Z so no lawsuits are going our way. I hope.

Author's Note: Yey here comes chapter 3, this one was written by Danni. I'm sorry for the wait Danni had this done on I think Monday but I for some reason didn't post it. This is not a Gohan/ Lime fanfiction.This chapter totally rules so you better stop reading my ramblings and read the chapter. Read, Review, and above all Enjoy. Go read c'mon why are you still reading this….

~~

Mirai carried the prone form of Gohan from the capsule to the couch in the middle of the messed up apartment. Mirai looked down on him on dismay and remembered what Marron, who was now getting things from the car had said to him. She had originally taken him to her apartment but he would just not let her help him anymore. Instead, he preferred to sit there, drowned in his own sorrow all alone. She tried to question him but either he ignored her or he was so deep in thoughts that he did not hear her. She had no idea of which one it was but she had her suspicions that it was the latter. She was grateful when Mirai came back from the meeting to see how his friend was doing. She had voiced her concerns and explained what had happened the only thing he said in reply was to mention how far they had actually came in their quest to help him. They had actually gotten him to go to her apartment without any argument from Gohan. He had been to her apartment before but when he was in a bad way and all alone he would never go anywhere apart from his own apartment. It was as if he was scared to leave it Mirai mused. But of course Gohan would not admit that he was, if he was that is and Mirai wouldn't dare mention it for fear of ruining their friendship.

They were pleased that they had helped him and thought that the worst of it was over. As Gohan stood up to greet Mirai and try to reassure him that he was okay and thought it was about time that he left and went home. Then Mirai's miracle cure began to wear off. He began to shake uncontrollably and as the shaking got worse people in the street began to run home in fear of an earthquake. Gohan's mind was racing. He tried to stop himself but he couldn't and he couldn't handle not being in control of his own body, it reminded him of darker times in which he didn't wish to revisit. As his mind went into overload Marron and Mirai couldn't do anything to help him and they could only look on in terror as they didn't dare get too close for fear of getting hurt. Gohan started to shake more and more violently and the tremors circling the earth got stronger and stronger. Then Gohan did something he had never done before and this was the signal of a broken spirit, he gave up. Instead of trying to fight the shakes and the overwhelming feeling of nausea his mind just shut off. His mind went blank and his limbs became numb and he didn't even know it when he keeled over and hit the floor.

Mirai and Marron raced over to check on him and they were relieved to see that he was only unconscious; not dead, as they had thought and dreaded. When Mirai decided that Gohan needed to be taken home so that maybe the presence of being in a familiar surrounding may soothe him. As Marron got the car and Mirai got ready to pick him up, he thought over what had just happened. He examined the man's ki closer and sensed he was in a version of meditation, and a thought hit him. Maybe this was a desperate cry from him to be left alone, to be given a chance to think over his life with nobody at all bothering him or trying to help. Then realisation hit him, not a thought but the cold shock of knowing something, which before was hidden from you. This was it. Gohan's chance to make a decision in this unconscious state he could go over his entire life and then the decision would come. What would he choose? Would he opt to fight and therefore wake up and live, or to give up and slip into death quietly and peacefully? Something, which is shameful for any normal Saiyans but Gohan, wasn't a normal Saiyan and everyone knew it. You could tell it by looking into his eyes; sometimes they were wild, like a Saiyans should be. But more often than not they were blank and lifeless. If you looked at him then you would swear he was dead or just an empty shell of a man and Mirai supposed he was. You could never tell his emotions by looking at his face for it always wore a mask that was neutral. The anger that Gohan had just shown was more than he had shown in several years and Mirai was glad that he did have some kind of feelings and could show them. He only wished it were something like happiness and not anger or sorrow.

Mirai placed him down on the couch and he stood there like an anxious parent watching over a sick child. Although Mirai was younger, maybe older, no one was sure, no one had bothered to try and work it out that was how he felt. Mirai felt he had to protect the person who never let anyone in. Protect the one who had already been through such hardship yet wherever he went he attracted more. Gohan had never voiced a need for help, yet he had always felt it and sometimes Marron did too. It was only seen in a glance or heard in a tone of voice but if he looked for it or listened for it in then he never saw or heard it.  But Mirai didn't want to take chances on his friend's happiness and set himself the task of watching over his friend and trying to help whenever he could. He didn't let Gohan know he was doing this for he knew that his pride would cause him to lash out at his efforts.

Now he was kicking himself. He felt that he should have been paying more attention to his friend and his problems. He should have seen Videl for what she really was and not to mention Sharpener. The mere thought of that traitor made his blood boil and having nothing to take it out on he clenched his fists until his nails dug into his skin, causing them to bleed but he took no notice of the pain. That was until Marron came in and lightly placed her hand on his upper arm. He started slightly because he didn't sense her come into the room. When he saw whom it was he smiled and she smiled back. For a second his heart rate quickened but when he looked away it slowed down and he was unsure of what had happened.

"Don't worry" she whispered. Mirai looked back down at her and gave her a questioning look. 'Gohan will be fine' She carried on. "He's a soldier, he's made it through worse and this time he's got us to help him". With that he grew calmer but then a new worry arose and he couldn't keep this one to himself for much longer.

"He's already been through so much. I don't know how much more his body or his mind can take. And he won't let anyone help him. I don't know what to do." Now he felt better, a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He suddenly felt that he couldn't have chosen a better person to talk to. She was the one who he had confided in when he first arrived in this time and over time their friendship had grown deeper. But now he had started he couldn't stop. 'I just don't understand why the Videl in my time and the Videl in this time had changed and were so different'

"I think I can answer that question," said a deep voice from behind them. They both spun round to face an old man who had been listening to their conversation. " It is because the Gohans in each time are totally different. The Gohan in your time lived quite a peaceful life as a child, there was no Cell so Goku didn't die and nobody shunned him or kicked them out of their circle. He was honored among fighters as you yourself know Mirai". If Mirai was shocked that the old man knew his name then he didn't say it, he just drew Marron closer as if to protect her if the old man suddenly attacked for although he was old he still looked fit and active. "In this timeline" the old man carried on ignoring Mirai's actions. "Gohan was kidnapped as a child and Cell appeared. All these things have added to the way he acts today. They also add up to why he can't let anybody in for he trusts no one and that is a shame because he is missing out on a lot." The old man's face was softened by sorrow and he looked down on the unconscious Gohan. After a few minutes, he regained his train of thought. "In your timeline Gohan was open and he and Videl shared everything; all their belongings and all their secrets." Mirai nodded for he knew it was all true, Marron just stood there wide eyed at the stranger. "Their relationship was strong and things were good between them. Here, Gohan doesn't trust and doesn't let anybody in. It was very hard for Videl to talk to him and share things. Their relationship suffered because he couldn't open up and show his love for her, even if he did feel it." He added in a doubting tone. "None of that gives Videl an excuse for what she did but it is too late now and besides she wasn't the one for him. Here he needs a different type of mate and he will find her one day." With that he finished speaking.

Mirai looked at him sceptically. "Who are you?" he asked

"A friend, somebody who is here to help Gohan with his decision and with every path he chooses. For a time at least"

"What decision," Marron tried to ask but was cut off by a moan that had issued from the dreamer's mouth and with that they all crowded round and watch Gohan sleeping.

~~

Gohan was standing there. He looked around at everything that surrounded him and an icy fear gripped at his heart. He looked at his arms and saw a thin golden bracelet that signified his slave status. His hands flew to his neck and felt the thin golden necklace around it. He sat down in desperation. He was back in his 7 yr old body. He was Frieza's slave but before he could think anymore he heard a twig snap behind him and a muttered "Blast!" He leapt up and got ready to fight. He was faced with someone, which made his 7 yr old heart warm up but made his 21 yr old mind tell it to freeze.

A girl stood there. Approximately the same age as him, she was a lot shorter and looking at her filled him with memories that he wanted to forget. She had blonde hair with brown lowlights in it that reached to the middle of her back but was now scraped back into a severe bun. Her eyes were the deepest blue that Gohan had ever seen. They were bluer than the sky on a hot day. Bluer than the deepest ocean and he knew that he would never see eyes like that ever again. She wore an outfit that was the same as his although it wasn't in as good a condition. It was a one piece lycra suit. It covered all of her arms and her legs. It was a royal blue apart from the silver armour that covered her chest and her back. Along with the silver armour was a pair of silver boots which were knee high and flat and a pair of gloves, which were midway between her wrist and her elbow. She looked scrawny but wiry as if she hadn't been fed in a while yet made to fight over and over. Gohan knew that this was true – he had experienced it himself. That was why his 21 yr old self never ate as much as a normal saiyan, his body never needed it.

"Gohan, you need to hide" She said quickly but with a tone, which brought more fear to his heart because he knew exactly what was about to happen. He wanted to do something, something that could save him but he didn't want to change the future, or who he was, he didn't want to be trapped in this time either. "Frieza's men are coming this way. He is really angry with you running off like that. He's screaming his head off for your blood." She cried, trying to pull Gohan's arm so that they could run deeper into the forest they were standing in. As Gohan recalled exactly what had happened that day he knew what he had to say.

"Let's go back to the ship" Although when he said it his heart filled with dread, his mind told him that that was the only thing he could and should do.

"But that would be madness, they'd find you in an instant." She cried, still trying to drag him into the apparent safety of the forest.

"No they wouldn't," he replied "they think I'm outside. I'll lie low until Frieza calms down." He knew it was stupid. He knew that Frieza had a link on his body and on his mind, that was what the bracelets and necklaces were for but he didn't care anymore, he just wanted it to be over. With that he ran. They ran over the grassy hills and leapt over streams which criss crossed in a leisurely pattern before them and they reached the ship before they were seen. Now he was inside the ship he had to choose a good place to hide. His mind screamed out so many places that were useful, that he knew would work but he ignored them. He ran to the first place a terrified 7 yr old would run – he ran to the storage area. He threw himself into a compartment, which was barely big enough for him. He stuffed himself inside; cramped up, praying that maybe this time he wouldn't be found and he wouldn't be punished. He couldn't shut it. His arms couldn't move enough to pull the shutter down as he started to panic he called out the girl's'name and she shut it for him, just in time. Gohan heard the boots of 3 fully grown Barakian soldiers march over to the compartment the girl was standing outside.

"Where's Pheonix?" They demanded. Gohan listened as she tried to lead them off, to lie. Gohan was amazed that this young girl was willing to lie and risk her life just to make sure he was safe. It was so different to his current life where he felt all alone and people wouldn't do favours for others unless they could reap the benefits for it. He was thrown out of his thoughts as she screamed. It was long and it pierced his heart, it caused shivers to go down his spine and at that moment he had never felt so reckless in his life. He dared not think about what the soldiers could have done to her. He had had enough of the terrors that this life involved and he didn't want the girl to get hurt on his account. He did the same thing that he had done before and opened the compartment and got ready to face the punishment he had already faced once before.

He was dragged to Frieza along with the girl, her clothes now tattered and torn.  She looked like one of the most magnificent animals that the universe had ever seen, but instead of seeing magnificence he saw the poor creature locked up and kept from being free. His heart went out to her and he felt so sorry that she would also be punished because of him. Then to try and stop himself from feeling the pain of it, he blamed her for it. She didn't have to tell him, she didn't have to lie for him, he didn't make her but as he thought that he was so overcome with guilt he tried to keep his mind empty and avoided looking directly at her. When they reached Frieza's quarter they were thrown on the floor, left to his wrath, two 7 yr olds alone. Their punishment was ready and they were dragged to a large vat, which was currently empty. Frieza's officials stood around the vat, ready to jeer, all of them big, imposing but with the smallest IQ one could ever see. Frieza advanced upon them with a large dagger, the hilt was jewelled and the actual blade was covered with ornate designs. They both closed their eyes expecting the fate which was to greet them before they realised they had both been stabbed in the stomach with it and pushed into the vat. As the lid was pushed on, darkness overwhelmed the pair.

That wasn't the end of the punishment. As they lay there, scared and in pain, the pain amplifying the fear. They were losing blood and fast. They were suddenly aware that they were sitting in something wet and sticky. Gohan reached down and dipped his fingers into it. The liquid was warm and when he tasted it, it tasted salty and all too familiar. He realised that they were sitting in blood and that this blood wasn't their own but somebody elses. The level of blood was rising and after a few minutes they had to stand up both of them gasping, trying to get fresh air and to keep themselves steady on their feet, after 10 it was at their waist. The blood was pouring from holes, which Gohan hadn't noticed when he was outside the vat. That was something that he would always regret, but at least it taught him to always be observant. After a while both of them had to struggle to keep afloat. They never spoke; they tried to keep all their energy for the task of staying alive for their stab wounds were slowly ebbing their lives away. Eventually the blood reached the top of the vat and they were left with about three inches of air left. Gohan suddenly knew that they were going to be left there until the morning and then thought to himself "It's things like this which give Frieza a bad name," he laughed in his mind but before he had laughed aloud he had blacked out.

He woke up in a cold dark room, he could barely see, everything was swirling around him. He didn't know what had happened and although he wouldn't admit it the 7 yr olds fear overwhelmed him. Gohan didn't care though, he just wanted to give up and die and so shut his eyes.

"Stay awake," a voice whimpered. Gohan struggled to sit up and saw the bandage around his waist. He had no idea where it came from for he knew none of the soldiers would have done it they wouldn't have cared whether he lived or died. He looked into the corner and saw his accomplice huddled up clutching a bandage as if it were a security blanket. He was surprised that she had survived it for he was only just holding on to his life. She had a look of fear plastered to her face and barely moved. "Please," she added. As if he were about to leave her any minute. He got up and crawled over to her, so that she wouldn't be alone in the dark. They fell asleep within minutes of each other about an hour later.

When Gohan woke up he had gone to a totally different time period. For a moment he was confused then he could sense his mother downstairs and hatred welled up inside. He looked over at his desk and saw the pile of books upon it. He knew what he had to do so without fuss he got up, sat there, working all day long until it was time for dinner, and he was called downstairs. He went down reluctantly, then realised what day it was, and the event he had to relive. He sat at the table dreading every minute of it. The time dragging at him, he just wanted it to be over with. He started to relive all the verbal abuse. The claims that he was a murderer and that he murdered his father. Once again Gohan saw the knife and saw another opportunity for death. As his hand reached for it, his mother stood up. Knowing what was to come Gohan shut his eyes and waited for the shot which was to free him yet haunt him forever. As his vision began to spiral out of control again the 21 yr old mind surfaced over the 11 yr old's terror. It's last thought, before he hit the floor was "I will never feel anything until my wounds are healed, I wanna feel like I belong, I will break away I will find myself someday."

~~

"He's not doing anything," shouted the 16yr old Gohan. Who was watching the hideous dream. "He needs actual help not for other people to know what is happening." He sat there, eyes blazing, fists clenched. He didn't trust the old man's judgement and the fact he was left here angered him. The 30 yr old came over and touched him on the shoulder. The 16 yr old looked up and saw something in the 30 yr old which reassured him.

"You go and help him then," he said, the 16 yr old decided that would be best but also thought that the silent 11 yr old should come along as well because he would need help to get over everything that had just happened. The 11 yr old was grateful to be considered and saw the 16 yr old as one of his heroes. With that they both disappeared in a flash of white light.

~~

The three of them watched over the sleeping Gohan. They watched him toss and turn, getting trapped deeper and deeper in his mind. Marron's fingers entwined with Mirai's and they looked at each other seeing something that they had never felt before. It scared and enticed each of them but at the same time they felt guilty. That was because they had just found they best gift they would ever receive – the gift of love. They found theirs at the same time the same gift twisted out of Gohan's reach and fluttered away. Gohan had never been truly and deeply loved and still life was dealing cruel blows. His soul was bruised and damaged and may never heal.

"Don't feel guilty" Marron whispered and as their grip on each other tightened they turned away and watched the nightmare filled sleeper. This was his battle.

Author's Note: That's it until I right the next one. I hope you enjoyed it. As Danni says ain't Marron and Mirai a cute couple. Anyway give Danni some input on this awesome chapter. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

Till Next time

Cya