A/N: Warning-this chapter may include excessive alcohol. Nothing major, but
you have been warned.
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I didn't know I could feel so many emotions all at once. Excitement, nervousness, and then something else.. Something I couldn't put my finger on.
"You look great, Lizzie!," Miranda exclaimed. She welcomed me with a warm hug, looking down at my dress almost in envy.
"You look beautiful, too," I said quietly. And she did. Beautiful in such a Miranda way. It was nights like these that made me happy to have my life. The dark sky, the excited chatter.. I felt an adrenaline rush, like the ones they describe in really deep rock songs that you crank when no one can hear you.
I wanted to trust Claire's invitation, despite it's strange packing. I'm normally a very trusting person. But there's something so wrong with the whole situation.. I didn't have time to think. We stopped in front of Gordo's house.
I smiled and squeezed his hand as he slid into the car, but mostly for comfort. My relationship with Gordo was indescribable. Not so much love as for show. But the thing was.. We weren't on display for anyone.
There was the emotion again. The one I couldn't figure out. It was like.. Showing affection to a relative you've never seen before. You want to love them, but you can't figure out why. Only I knew why I wanted to love Gordo. He was a wonderful person! He deserved anything he wanted. I just prayed he didn't want me.
We pulled up to Claire's house. It was fairly..huge. I vaguely tried to remember her family situation. I knew her mom, and she was pretty nice. Her dad, as I recalled, was the owner of the house. Her parents were divorced, right? Yes, that's it. She had a stepmother and one half sister. I loosely remembered a very tall, pretty woman with an adorable baby. Figures Claire would have a perfect stepfamily too.
You kids have fun!," Mom squeezed my knee. I rolled my eyes and climbed out. Sure, mom.
Why I was allowed to go, I'm not so sure. I had a feeling she thought Claire's mom would be chaperoning. They were fairly good friends. Too bad she was wrong.
"Well," Gordo said, looking up at the house, "Yet another opportunity to study the flocking habits of the hormonal adolescent." He shook his head sadly. I laughed. Not that I knew what that meant. It just seemed a good place to laugh.
"Oh, hey, guys," Claire welcomed us almost pleasantly. I peered over her shoulder. There was definitely a party going on, that's for sure. The house was warm with yellow light, people were dancing, laughing, talking, being loud... some were even drinking and smoking. I felt immediately uncomfortable. Guys with bulging muscles stumbled around idiotically, puffing cigarettes and chugging beer. Gordo just made noises of disapproval while Miranda shrugged it off. I felt paranoid, just waiting for some jock to rape me in my little corner.
"Hey, why don't you guys dance?," Miranda nudged Gordo, noticing how uncomfortable I was. I gave her a grateful glance, but hesitated.
"I don't want to leave you here all alone.."
"Oh, it's okay," She smiled, waving her hand. "I'll be fine." I bit my lip. "Really. I'll go... mingle." She picked a chip out of a bowl. "I'll munch. I'll be.. Cool." She gestured with her hands.
"If you're sure..," I moved onto the dance floor with Gordo. I felt stupid, swaying on nothing but wall to wall beige carpeting.
"Watch out!," Kate cried as she stumbled into us. Claire, watching nearby like a hawk, rushed over.
"Surprise, surprise.. Graceful McGuire causes the trouble first," She smirked at me. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"You invited me," I said, collecting my bravery.
"Yeah, because I felt sorry for you," She rolled her eyes. "Now I wonder why I even bother being so charitable." I felt anger boil beneath my skin.
"Hey, Claire, give the lady a break," A guy stumbled towards us, putting his arm around Claire's small shoulders. I felt Gordo's hand tighten protectively around my wrist. He smiled at me. I smiled back slightly, feeling a bit light headed. It was nice to have a knight in shining armor, even if I couldn't date him.
"For you, Daniel," She batted her eyelashes flirtatiously. I felt a pang of jealously as she pulled him away. I stared after him.
"There's this theory," Gordo suddenly said, "That boyfriends disappear occasionally in the middle of conversation. Or, you know, they could be IGNORED.." I felt horrible all of a sudden.
"Oh, Gordo, I'm sorry!," I hit my head. "Distracted.. You know, Claire.."
"And Daniel.." Gordo's no idiot.
"Let's dance," I replied.
I want to be one of those people who go to parties and remain carefree through the entire thing. This may be from being high and drunk the entire time, but still. It was times like these that made drugs and alcohol so appealing.
I watched Daniel over Gordo's shoulder for a long time. I soon just used him as a sort of support pillow, nuzzling into his shoulder. He wasn't so short, I thought lazily.
Then I watched Miranda. She looked so fabulous, dancing with all those guys and being so.. Eligible. I was happy to have such a fortunate best friend.
Then I just closed my eyes. It felt like we had been dancing forever. Gordo doesn't usually dance. He's not a dancing kind of guy.
I thought about Kate. I wondered if maybe I was wrong. I'm wrong about a lot of things, right? Maybe I didn't need to help her.
"Let's sit down," I pulled away from Gordo, feeling sleepily relaxed. So relaxed for someone at such a big party. I flopped on the couch next to some guy Miranda had been talking to. She walked over to us and smiled.
"Having fun?," She questioned us.
"Loads," Gordo answered sarcastically before I had a chance to reply. I felt crushed for some odd reason. Miranda hit Gordo on the arm.
"Lizzie?"
"I WAS having fun," I said, glancing at him.
"Gordo, dance with me," Miranda said, holding at her hand. He sighed. "Come on.. Two girls ask you to dance! We'll turn you into a ladies' man yet." I resisted glaring at Miranda. She WAS trying to help. Did I even care if Gordo liked me? Of course. Right?
With persuasion, Gordo was reluctantly dragged away by a persistent Miranda. I, on the other hand, watched people mill about, acting like idiots. I felt sorry for them, picturing them waking up tomorrow morning full of regret.
"This seat taken?," Daniel towered above me. I smiled up at him, assuring him it wasn't. He sat down next to me. My heart stopped fluttering as I noticed a brown bottle in his hand. "Lizzie, right?"
"Yeah, that's me, Lizzie. Oh, hey! That rhymes!," I laughed. Stupid!
"Hey, that's funny. So, anyway, you go to school with Claire?," He asked, taking a sip from the bottle.
"Yeah," I laughed again. Wow, I was witty tonight.
"I'm her brother's friend," He nodded. Claire had a brother? "He plays football for the high school. Did you hear he's getting married? Oh, duh, of course. Must be all the little freshmen gossip." Oh, sure. Right. I wasn't out of it. No.
"Yeah, well." Great going, McGuire.
"So, um, want a drink or something?," He questioned. I froze. NO! Of COURSE I don't want a stupid drink. I'm under aged!
"Sure," I smiled. NO. He got up momentarily, and came back with another brown bottle. Great. I stared into the frosty glass, unable to see past it into the beer. It was cold in my hands. I wanted to throw it against the wall and scream. Daniel was slowly becoming less and less attractive. But I couldn't back out now.
I took a shaky sip and sputtered. The taste was indescribable. It was cold and reminded me immediately of dirt. I had always pictured beer like flat root beer. I tenderly placed the bottle down.
"Don't you like it?," He asked almost teasingly. I stared at him blankly. How could I lie?
"Uh, no," I stood up. "I'm not a beer kind of girl, thanks a lot." I stormed off huffily. Parties aren't supposed to change your perspective. Parties are supposed to be fun.
I stood outside, my arms crossed. I felt tears on my cheeks and wondered why. Why was I crying? Did I really have a reason?
I was sick of it all. I was sick of being good girl McGuire, who never drank or did drugs or even thought about sex. But I wasn't about to go and change that. I tried that before, and it definitely didn't work. I laughed bitterly at the memory.
I stared down at my nail polish for a while, just thinking. It was pink and shiny and perfect. That was pretty much Lizzie for you. Every day, the world ended for my small problems, and then it began again. Why?
"Not such a great party?," Miranda leaned against the brick wall next to me.
"No," I sniffled, a breeze running against my hot face.
"I can call my mom, if you want," She offered. "This party isn't so great..."
"Hey Miranda! Want to dance?," A voice from inside. My heart fell.
"Go on," I gave her a watery smile. "Don't let them down."
"No, let's go," She beckoned me on. "Let's get Gordo." She grabbed my hand pulled me along through the groups of teenagers. They jumped around and acted completely drunk. Well they WERE drunk. I wasn't as scared as I was before, having Miranda's hand to guide me, but I still didn't want to reek of beer. Plus, this was a new dress!
We found Gordo talking to a few people. They were discussing some class. I was immediately disinterested. I just wanted to get home. I felt a sudden surge of panic when I saw Daniel. I hid behind Miranda.
Eventually, we dragged Gordo home. I looked back at Claire's house with an empty, ringing feeling. I wondered why I wasn't brave. And then I wondered why I cared.
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A/N: I have to catch up now. Okay, let's get started before I grow old.
Alastar: YAY! MY TITLE! I'll try to review every chapter. I become busy, so I might not review right away. But thank you for your reviews! I appreciate it. Love you!
Nahima Tala: Hey sister!!! Good to hear from you. I'm happy to get a review from you! I'm glad you like it so far. I need your approval, don't you know. Kisses and thank you!
PinkPrincess: Hello my dear. I definitely liked those parts too. I only like parts of my stories, don't you know, and you picked out two of the best. I hope I portrayed them well. That was my goal. Anyway, thanks bunches!
Lizsponge92: Thanks!!! We all have our little blonde moments, dear, but hopefully they don't come up that often!! Thanks again. Kisses.
See the light: I'll try to update Senescent. Not a lot of excess inspiration on that. I updated!! Kate's mom is supposed to leave her alone all the time, but I wanted to make her nicer than she usually is. Maybe she is just trapped. Thanks bunches!
Love-fool: Amy, Amy, Amy... I was worried! I thought you died or something! Well, not really, but I was hoping for this review. Happy Birthday!!! Happy.. Late birthday? Oh, well. INSPIRATION! I read your story. I like it definitely. Thank you bunches!
Diva: Dude... you just like reviewed five times! YOU'RE SPECIAL!! Most people take at least two author notes to become a sister. Oh well. ::clears throat:: ahem. I, the funky one, now proclaim Diva as..GROOVY RED PLATFORM!!!!!! YAY!!! ::everyone claps:: I love the way you review, pointing out the sections you liked and why you liked them. Cheers, mate!!
LenniluvsBrian: Thanks! I checked your story out..pretty good! I reviewed too. Hugs and kisses! Thanks again.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
I didn't know I could feel so many emotions all at once. Excitement, nervousness, and then something else.. Something I couldn't put my finger on.
"You look great, Lizzie!," Miranda exclaimed. She welcomed me with a warm hug, looking down at my dress almost in envy.
"You look beautiful, too," I said quietly. And she did. Beautiful in such a Miranda way. It was nights like these that made me happy to have my life. The dark sky, the excited chatter.. I felt an adrenaline rush, like the ones they describe in really deep rock songs that you crank when no one can hear you.
I wanted to trust Claire's invitation, despite it's strange packing. I'm normally a very trusting person. But there's something so wrong with the whole situation.. I didn't have time to think. We stopped in front of Gordo's house.
I smiled and squeezed his hand as he slid into the car, but mostly for comfort. My relationship with Gordo was indescribable. Not so much love as for show. But the thing was.. We weren't on display for anyone.
There was the emotion again. The one I couldn't figure out. It was like.. Showing affection to a relative you've never seen before. You want to love them, but you can't figure out why. Only I knew why I wanted to love Gordo. He was a wonderful person! He deserved anything he wanted. I just prayed he didn't want me.
We pulled up to Claire's house. It was fairly..huge. I vaguely tried to remember her family situation. I knew her mom, and she was pretty nice. Her dad, as I recalled, was the owner of the house. Her parents were divorced, right? Yes, that's it. She had a stepmother and one half sister. I loosely remembered a very tall, pretty woman with an adorable baby. Figures Claire would have a perfect stepfamily too.
You kids have fun!," Mom squeezed my knee. I rolled my eyes and climbed out. Sure, mom.
Why I was allowed to go, I'm not so sure. I had a feeling she thought Claire's mom would be chaperoning. They were fairly good friends. Too bad she was wrong.
"Well," Gordo said, looking up at the house, "Yet another opportunity to study the flocking habits of the hormonal adolescent." He shook his head sadly. I laughed. Not that I knew what that meant. It just seemed a good place to laugh.
"Oh, hey, guys," Claire welcomed us almost pleasantly. I peered over her shoulder. There was definitely a party going on, that's for sure. The house was warm with yellow light, people were dancing, laughing, talking, being loud... some were even drinking and smoking. I felt immediately uncomfortable. Guys with bulging muscles stumbled around idiotically, puffing cigarettes and chugging beer. Gordo just made noises of disapproval while Miranda shrugged it off. I felt paranoid, just waiting for some jock to rape me in my little corner.
"Hey, why don't you guys dance?," Miranda nudged Gordo, noticing how uncomfortable I was. I gave her a grateful glance, but hesitated.
"I don't want to leave you here all alone.."
"Oh, it's okay," She smiled, waving her hand. "I'll be fine." I bit my lip. "Really. I'll go... mingle." She picked a chip out of a bowl. "I'll munch. I'll be.. Cool." She gestured with her hands.
"If you're sure..," I moved onto the dance floor with Gordo. I felt stupid, swaying on nothing but wall to wall beige carpeting.
"Watch out!," Kate cried as she stumbled into us. Claire, watching nearby like a hawk, rushed over.
"Surprise, surprise.. Graceful McGuire causes the trouble first," She smirked at me. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"You invited me," I said, collecting my bravery.
"Yeah, because I felt sorry for you," She rolled her eyes. "Now I wonder why I even bother being so charitable." I felt anger boil beneath my skin.
"Hey, Claire, give the lady a break," A guy stumbled towards us, putting his arm around Claire's small shoulders. I felt Gordo's hand tighten protectively around my wrist. He smiled at me. I smiled back slightly, feeling a bit light headed. It was nice to have a knight in shining armor, even if I couldn't date him.
"For you, Daniel," She batted her eyelashes flirtatiously. I felt a pang of jealously as she pulled him away. I stared after him.
"There's this theory," Gordo suddenly said, "That boyfriends disappear occasionally in the middle of conversation. Or, you know, they could be IGNORED.." I felt horrible all of a sudden.
"Oh, Gordo, I'm sorry!," I hit my head. "Distracted.. You know, Claire.."
"And Daniel.." Gordo's no idiot.
"Let's dance," I replied.
I want to be one of those people who go to parties and remain carefree through the entire thing. This may be from being high and drunk the entire time, but still. It was times like these that made drugs and alcohol so appealing.
I watched Daniel over Gordo's shoulder for a long time. I soon just used him as a sort of support pillow, nuzzling into his shoulder. He wasn't so short, I thought lazily.
Then I watched Miranda. She looked so fabulous, dancing with all those guys and being so.. Eligible. I was happy to have such a fortunate best friend.
Then I just closed my eyes. It felt like we had been dancing forever. Gordo doesn't usually dance. He's not a dancing kind of guy.
I thought about Kate. I wondered if maybe I was wrong. I'm wrong about a lot of things, right? Maybe I didn't need to help her.
"Let's sit down," I pulled away from Gordo, feeling sleepily relaxed. So relaxed for someone at such a big party. I flopped on the couch next to some guy Miranda had been talking to. She walked over to us and smiled.
"Having fun?," She questioned us.
"Loads," Gordo answered sarcastically before I had a chance to reply. I felt crushed for some odd reason. Miranda hit Gordo on the arm.
"Lizzie?"
"I WAS having fun," I said, glancing at him.
"Gordo, dance with me," Miranda said, holding at her hand. He sighed. "Come on.. Two girls ask you to dance! We'll turn you into a ladies' man yet." I resisted glaring at Miranda. She WAS trying to help. Did I even care if Gordo liked me? Of course. Right?
With persuasion, Gordo was reluctantly dragged away by a persistent Miranda. I, on the other hand, watched people mill about, acting like idiots. I felt sorry for them, picturing them waking up tomorrow morning full of regret.
"This seat taken?," Daniel towered above me. I smiled up at him, assuring him it wasn't. He sat down next to me. My heart stopped fluttering as I noticed a brown bottle in his hand. "Lizzie, right?"
"Yeah, that's me, Lizzie. Oh, hey! That rhymes!," I laughed. Stupid!
"Hey, that's funny. So, anyway, you go to school with Claire?," He asked, taking a sip from the bottle.
"Yeah," I laughed again. Wow, I was witty tonight.
"I'm her brother's friend," He nodded. Claire had a brother? "He plays football for the high school. Did you hear he's getting married? Oh, duh, of course. Must be all the little freshmen gossip." Oh, sure. Right. I wasn't out of it. No.
"Yeah, well." Great going, McGuire.
"So, um, want a drink or something?," He questioned. I froze. NO! Of COURSE I don't want a stupid drink. I'm under aged!
"Sure," I smiled. NO. He got up momentarily, and came back with another brown bottle. Great. I stared into the frosty glass, unable to see past it into the beer. It was cold in my hands. I wanted to throw it against the wall and scream. Daniel was slowly becoming less and less attractive. But I couldn't back out now.
I took a shaky sip and sputtered. The taste was indescribable. It was cold and reminded me immediately of dirt. I had always pictured beer like flat root beer. I tenderly placed the bottle down.
"Don't you like it?," He asked almost teasingly. I stared at him blankly. How could I lie?
"Uh, no," I stood up. "I'm not a beer kind of girl, thanks a lot." I stormed off huffily. Parties aren't supposed to change your perspective. Parties are supposed to be fun.
I stood outside, my arms crossed. I felt tears on my cheeks and wondered why. Why was I crying? Did I really have a reason?
I was sick of it all. I was sick of being good girl McGuire, who never drank or did drugs or even thought about sex. But I wasn't about to go and change that. I tried that before, and it definitely didn't work. I laughed bitterly at the memory.
I stared down at my nail polish for a while, just thinking. It was pink and shiny and perfect. That was pretty much Lizzie for you. Every day, the world ended for my small problems, and then it began again. Why?
"Not such a great party?," Miranda leaned against the brick wall next to me.
"No," I sniffled, a breeze running against my hot face.
"I can call my mom, if you want," She offered. "This party isn't so great..."
"Hey Miranda! Want to dance?," A voice from inside. My heart fell.
"Go on," I gave her a watery smile. "Don't let them down."
"No, let's go," She beckoned me on. "Let's get Gordo." She grabbed my hand pulled me along through the groups of teenagers. They jumped around and acted completely drunk. Well they WERE drunk. I wasn't as scared as I was before, having Miranda's hand to guide me, but I still didn't want to reek of beer. Plus, this was a new dress!
We found Gordo talking to a few people. They were discussing some class. I was immediately disinterested. I just wanted to get home. I felt a sudden surge of panic when I saw Daniel. I hid behind Miranda.
Eventually, we dragged Gordo home. I looked back at Claire's house with an empty, ringing feeling. I wondered why I wasn't brave. And then I wondered why I cared.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A/N: I have to catch up now. Okay, let's get started before I grow old.
Alastar: YAY! MY TITLE! I'll try to review every chapter. I become busy, so I might not review right away. But thank you for your reviews! I appreciate it. Love you!
Nahima Tala: Hey sister!!! Good to hear from you. I'm happy to get a review from you! I'm glad you like it so far. I need your approval, don't you know. Kisses and thank you!
PinkPrincess: Hello my dear. I definitely liked those parts too. I only like parts of my stories, don't you know, and you picked out two of the best. I hope I portrayed them well. That was my goal. Anyway, thanks bunches!
Lizsponge92: Thanks!!! We all have our little blonde moments, dear, but hopefully they don't come up that often!! Thanks again. Kisses.
See the light: I'll try to update Senescent. Not a lot of excess inspiration on that. I updated!! Kate's mom is supposed to leave her alone all the time, but I wanted to make her nicer than she usually is. Maybe she is just trapped. Thanks bunches!
Love-fool: Amy, Amy, Amy... I was worried! I thought you died or something! Well, not really, but I was hoping for this review. Happy Birthday!!! Happy.. Late birthday? Oh, well. INSPIRATION! I read your story. I like it definitely. Thank you bunches!
Diva: Dude... you just like reviewed five times! YOU'RE SPECIAL!! Most people take at least two author notes to become a sister. Oh well. ::clears throat:: ahem. I, the funky one, now proclaim Diva as..GROOVY RED PLATFORM!!!!!! YAY!!! ::everyone claps:: I love the way you review, pointing out the sections you liked and why you liked them. Cheers, mate!!
LenniluvsBrian: Thanks! I checked your story out..pretty good! I reviewed too. Hugs and kisses! Thanks again.