I never said I'd love Gordo forever. Did I? Probably in some winded moment,
with the stars shining a little too brightly and his fingers brushing a
little too softly. There were many like that. Ones that I just felt like I
was in a romance novel, and Gordo would show up on a white horse and ride
me off into the sunset.
But Gordo's not much of a romantic. Most of these romantic moments I only enjoy with Miranda, recalling them rather than experiencing them.
I look back in my old journal filled with pages that are crinkled from tears and smudged with lipstick kisses. And all I can feel is.. Nothing. This kind of hollow ringing. I can't understand it. I'm not into drama. The most I can handle is a small lovers' quarrel that's settled immediately with a simple kiss. I prefer these kinds of things. You know, simple things. It is the kind of life I lead.
But ever since I discovered Kate's "little secret", I wonder what else is going on with her. I wonder if she's okay. I worry about her. I admit it. I worry about Kate. I mean, she WAS my best friend. Sometimes I think she still is.
The old Kate still is. The old Kate is still the best friend I'll ever have. I'll never have another friendship like the one I had with her. We didn't just pretend to be sisters; we WERE sisters. Soul sisters. I could understand her perfectly. I don't think our connection ever faded. I can feel her energy and her emotions are so clear sometimes it hurts. You're not supposed to understand your worst rival. There's no sympathy; there's no understanding; there's just hate. Just pure hate.
I remember one day in fifth grade, Kate gave me a tube of lip gloss for no reason. It tasted horrible and made my lips swell, but I kept it. I still have it, buried into my make-up kit.
Later that day I found out her dad had yelled at her until she locked herself in a closet the night before.
"Lizzie," I heard my mom's voice rise from outside the closed door, "Are you okay? You haven't been out all day." I sighed. Good old Mom. She thinks she knows everything.
"I'm fine, Mom," I replied. "Just tired." I know she didn't buy it, but I heard her footsteps click away anyway. Maybe I should do something. I checked my make up quickly in the mirror, then ran downstairs and out the door.
"Have fun," Mom called. Freaky, she is.
There's not much to do on a Sunday. Monday is just kind of looming at you, waiting to pounce. I've always hated Sundays for this. Your laziness just keeps growing and growing until suddenly Monday's there and you can't do anything about it.
My shoes found their way to the Digital Bean. Of course.
I can be extremely typical sometimes. I prefer safety, really, rather than risk. I mean, why put it all on the line for one adrenaline rush? But then... what if there's nothing to put on the line just because you don't take risks?
It occurred to me that I should've called Gordo or Miranda. I vaguely remembered wondering if Miranda was going to ask Gordo that day. Most likely. I think she was just as curious as I was.
"Hi," I smiled at the pretty blonde behind the counter. "Could I have a strawberry smoothie? Thanks." I gazed across the room, searching for a glance at Ethan or maybe someone I could wave to (so I didn't look like I TOTAL social reject). My eyes fell at one table in particular, but I'm not sure why.
It was this couple, leaning close to each other, talking softly. I heart melted for them. They looked so sweet together. They weren't even swapping spit or something totally disgusting. They were just enjoying each others' company.
I desperately wished I had someone like that. Someone I could actually talk to and hug close and dream about daily. Or nightly. Whatever.
I turned away from the cute couple to grab my smoothie and pay the girl.
"Cute blouse," I commented, pointing at her shirt. It was just the typical Digital Bean uniform, but I felt like I had to say SOMETHING nice to her. She had put a little umbrella in my smoothie.
"Thanks," She looked at me strangely. I sat at a little table and sipped the concoction slowly, looking around. I sighed in frustration. Why wasn't anyone there? I dug in my purse briefly, looking for my cell phone. Enough was enough. I HAD to call Miranda and find out if she asked yet.
Maybe I can stop her before she does, I thought. I mean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, dating someone who you don't really love...
I dialed the number slowly, then hung up before it could ring. No, I was being stupid. I just saw her a few hours ago. There's no way she reached Gordo already. And even if she did, he probably couldn't tear himself away from a science experiment or something. And it's not like Miranda to start things she doesn't want to do right away. I sighed again. I probably wouldn't know until two weeks from then!
I took another long sip of smoothie and thought things out. If I don't break up with Gordo, we'll be living a lie. Or at least I will. But if I do, he might be hurt. Or I might regret it. Maybe I did love Gordo, and I just didn't know what love was. Maybe we're meant to be together forever, and I just somehow let it pass by. Maybe if I don't break up with him, I won't be able to talk about anything else for as long as I live.
My glass was suddenly empty, much to my surprise. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and pulled out my lip gloss to put on another layer.
The thing about lip gloss is that it NEVER stays on for the entire day. You always have to reapply it like fifty times to look half decent. They really need to invent long-lasting lip gloss.
I almost scared myself, zooming from a serious matter to lip gloss. Was I as materialistic as I sounded? My mind instantly floated to Kate and the lip gloss that was now at the bottom of my purse, but I shrugged it off. I was being ridiculous.
I couldn't stand it any longer. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Miranda's number. Busy signal. Good; maybe she was calling Gordo. I was suddenly horrified at the thought. I immediately tried to cell, praying she WASN'T talking to Gordo.
I heard her familiar ring (Greensleeves) and looked around the room. She was no where to be seen... weird...
"Hello?," Her voice answered.
"Miranda! Where are you?," I plugged my other ear, trying to hear her over the clinking dishes around the place.
"The Digital Bean. Where are you?," She questioned.
"I'm at the Digital Bean..," I said slowly, absorbing this information.
"Where? I don't see you," She questioned.
I gazed around the room for her.
"Why are YOU here?," I asked, ignoring her last question.
"I'm talking to Gordo," She replied. I felt that horrified feeling jump back.
"Is he okay? Does he hate me? He's all right, right?," I said in a suddenly hushed whisper.
"Yeah," She said, just as perky. I raised my eyebrows.
"Did you TELL him?"
"Oh. No, not yet." Would she lose the perky tone?
"Ugh. Fine. Whatever. I'm leaving," I resigned, grabbing my purse. "Sorry I didn't see you guys.." I headed towards the door. "Catch you on the flip side." I hung up the phone, pausing in the doorway. I took a last look around the room. It was kind of weird not to notice your best friends in a place that's not that big.
I watched the cute couple again longingly. The girl leaned over and pecked at guy on the cheek. He looked really surprised, and so did she. She stood up immediately and dashed towards the bathroom. I felt a sympathy towards them and frowned.
My jaw dropped as I realized the guy was Gordo. What the hell?! My hand drifted slowly towards my mouth to cover it. Did this count as Gordo cheating on me? No, it was a peck. Just a peck. A friendly one. But what girl would...
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. MIRANDA was with Gordo. I shook my head and swallowed. Calmly as I could, I walked out of the door.
Calm my foot. My entire body was shaking.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A/N: Come on, I had to do it.
I must get back in the groove of thanking you guys. All the way back to chapter SIX.
Love-fool: Hey, my Amy-ness! Long time no... greetings. Angst is VERY fun to write, because.. Well, it just is OKAY?? ::sob:: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! ::slams door in your face, then opens it:: ahem. Hello again. Well, thanks for reviewing!!!
Diva: Isn't being in the Sisterhood FUN? You get to brag to all your friends... "heh, heh, you suck! I'm a shoe!" Then you can go to therapy. What fun. Anyway, my sexy shoe sister (not that I'm hitting on you), thank you MUCHO for reviewing. Reviews ::sniff:: are my life.
Voodoo Child: Ah, Chris. OUR FIRST MALE MEMBER. I'm so proud ::sniff::. Well, it's not like your reading this, so MUCHO thank you for reviewing. Adios!
Nahima Tala: Heh, heh. God I love you. Lack of M/G, eh? When does THAT ever happen in my stories? Kisses and thanks!
See the light: Man, you've been REVIEWING, sister! But hey! I love you bunches. Thanks for all the compliments on my writing skills. You're not bad with a pen yourself, groovy! Kisses and loves.
PinkPrincess: You always have such awesome reviews. I love the way you point out what you liked, like a true critic. It's excellent. Just what a writer looks for. Kisses and hugs! Thanks for reviewing.
KT the Shimmer Skank: Merci boucoup, mon amie ::feels French:: Anyway.. Thank you for reviewing! Okay, so technically, you should be in the shoe sisterhood, since you've reviewed my other stories too. But, oh well! I'm bitter and lonely, not to mention mean. Thanks!
VisionInGold: Egads! Caley! You've been reincarnated! Anyway, thank you for reviewing. and registering.. I'm so excited now! Muwa!
But Gordo's not much of a romantic. Most of these romantic moments I only enjoy with Miranda, recalling them rather than experiencing them.
I look back in my old journal filled with pages that are crinkled from tears and smudged with lipstick kisses. And all I can feel is.. Nothing. This kind of hollow ringing. I can't understand it. I'm not into drama. The most I can handle is a small lovers' quarrel that's settled immediately with a simple kiss. I prefer these kinds of things. You know, simple things. It is the kind of life I lead.
But ever since I discovered Kate's "little secret", I wonder what else is going on with her. I wonder if she's okay. I worry about her. I admit it. I worry about Kate. I mean, she WAS my best friend. Sometimes I think she still is.
The old Kate still is. The old Kate is still the best friend I'll ever have. I'll never have another friendship like the one I had with her. We didn't just pretend to be sisters; we WERE sisters. Soul sisters. I could understand her perfectly. I don't think our connection ever faded. I can feel her energy and her emotions are so clear sometimes it hurts. You're not supposed to understand your worst rival. There's no sympathy; there's no understanding; there's just hate. Just pure hate.
I remember one day in fifth grade, Kate gave me a tube of lip gloss for no reason. It tasted horrible and made my lips swell, but I kept it. I still have it, buried into my make-up kit.
Later that day I found out her dad had yelled at her until she locked herself in a closet the night before.
"Lizzie," I heard my mom's voice rise from outside the closed door, "Are you okay? You haven't been out all day." I sighed. Good old Mom. She thinks she knows everything.
"I'm fine, Mom," I replied. "Just tired." I know she didn't buy it, but I heard her footsteps click away anyway. Maybe I should do something. I checked my make up quickly in the mirror, then ran downstairs and out the door.
"Have fun," Mom called. Freaky, she is.
There's not much to do on a Sunday. Monday is just kind of looming at you, waiting to pounce. I've always hated Sundays for this. Your laziness just keeps growing and growing until suddenly Monday's there and you can't do anything about it.
My shoes found their way to the Digital Bean. Of course.
I can be extremely typical sometimes. I prefer safety, really, rather than risk. I mean, why put it all on the line for one adrenaline rush? But then... what if there's nothing to put on the line just because you don't take risks?
It occurred to me that I should've called Gordo or Miranda. I vaguely remembered wondering if Miranda was going to ask Gordo that day. Most likely. I think she was just as curious as I was.
"Hi," I smiled at the pretty blonde behind the counter. "Could I have a strawberry smoothie? Thanks." I gazed across the room, searching for a glance at Ethan or maybe someone I could wave to (so I didn't look like I TOTAL social reject). My eyes fell at one table in particular, but I'm not sure why.
It was this couple, leaning close to each other, talking softly. I heart melted for them. They looked so sweet together. They weren't even swapping spit or something totally disgusting. They were just enjoying each others' company.
I desperately wished I had someone like that. Someone I could actually talk to and hug close and dream about daily. Or nightly. Whatever.
I turned away from the cute couple to grab my smoothie and pay the girl.
"Cute blouse," I commented, pointing at her shirt. It was just the typical Digital Bean uniform, but I felt like I had to say SOMETHING nice to her. She had put a little umbrella in my smoothie.
"Thanks," She looked at me strangely. I sat at a little table and sipped the concoction slowly, looking around. I sighed in frustration. Why wasn't anyone there? I dug in my purse briefly, looking for my cell phone. Enough was enough. I HAD to call Miranda and find out if she asked yet.
Maybe I can stop her before she does, I thought. I mean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, dating someone who you don't really love...
I dialed the number slowly, then hung up before it could ring. No, I was being stupid. I just saw her a few hours ago. There's no way she reached Gordo already. And even if she did, he probably couldn't tear himself away from a science experiment or something. And it's not like Miranda to start things she doesn't want to do right away. I sighed again. I probably wouldn't know until two weeks from then!
I took another long sip of smoothie and thought things out. If I don't break up with Gordo, we'll be living a lie. Or at least I will. But if I do, he might be hurt. Or I might regret it. Maybe I did love Gordo, and I just didn't know what love was. Maybe we're meant to be together forever, and I just somehow let it pass by. Maybe if I don't break up with him, I won't be able to talk about anything else for as long as I live.
My glass was suddenly empty, much to my surprise. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and pulled out my lip gloss to put on another layer.
The thing about lip gloss is that it NEVER stays on for the entire day. You always have to reapply it like fifty times to look half decent. They really need to invent long-lasting lip gloss.
I almost scared myself, zooming from a serious matter to lip gloss. Was I as materialistic as I sounded? My mind instantly floated to Kate and the lip gloss that was now at the bottom of my purse, but I shrugged it off. I was being ridiculous.
I couldn't stand it any longer. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Miranda's number. Busy signal. Good; maybe she was calling Gordo. I was suddenly horrified at the thought. I immediately tried to cell, praying she WASN'T talking to Gordo.
I heard her familiar ring (Greensleeves) and looked around the room. She was no where to be seen... weird...
"Hello?," Her voice answered.
"Miranda! Where are you?," I plugged my other ear, trying to hear her over the clinking dishes around the place.
"The Digital Bean. Where are you?," She questioned.
"I'm at the Digital Bean..," I said slowly, absorbing this information.
"Where? I don't see you," She questioned.
I gazed around the room for her.
"Why are YOU here?," I asked, ignoring her last question.
"I'm talking to Gordo," She replied. I felt that horrified feeling jump back.
"Is he okay? Does he hate me? He's all right, right?," I said in a suddenly hushed whisper.
"Yeah," She said, just as perky. I raised my eyebrows.
"Did you TELL him?"
"Oh. No, not yet." Would she lose the perky tone?
"Ugh. Fine. Whatever. I'm leaving," I resigned, grabbing my purse. "Sorry I didn't see you guys.." I headed towards the door. "Catch you on the flip side." I hung up the phone, pausing in the doorway. I took a last look around the room. It was kind of weird not to notice your best friends in a place that's not that big.
I watched the cute couple again longingly. The girl leaned over and pecked at guy on the cheek. He looked really surprised, and so did she. She stood up immediately and dashed towards the bathroom. I felt a sympathy towards them and frowned.
My jaw dropped as I realized the guy was Gordo. What the hell?! My hand drifted slowly towards my mouth to cover it. Did this count as Gordo cheating on me? No, it was a peck. Just a peck. A friendly one. But what girl would...
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. MIRANDA was with Gordo. I shook my head and swallowed. Calmly as I could, I walked out of the door.
Calm my foot. My entire body was shaking.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A/N: Come on, I had to do it.
I must get back in the groove of thanking you guys. All the way back to chapter SIX.
Love-fool: Hey, my Amy-ness! Long time no... greetings. Angst is VERY fun to write, because.. Well, it just is OKAY?? ::sob:: LEAVE ME ALONE!!! ::slams door in your face, then opens it:: ahem. Hello again. Well, thanks for reviewing!!!
Diva: Isn't being in the Sisterhood FUN? You get to brag to all your friends... "heh, heh, you suck! I'm a shoe!" Then you can go to therapy. What fun. Anyway, my sexy shoe sister (not that I'm hitting on you), thank you MUCHO for reviewing. Reviews ::sniff:: are my life.
Voodoo Child: Ah, Chris. OUR FIRST MALE MEMBER. I'm so proud ::sniff::. Well, it's not like your reading this, so MUCHO thank you for reviewing. Adios!
Nahima Tala: Heh, heh. God I love you. Lack of M/G, eh? When does THAT ever happen in my stories? Kisses and thanks!
See the light: Man, you've been REVIEWING, sister! But hey! I love you bunches. Thanks for all the compliments on my writing skills. You're not bad with a pen yourself, groovy! Kisses and loves.
PinkPrincess: You always have such awesome reviews. I love the way you point out what you liked, like a true critic. It's excellent. Just what a writer looks for. Kisses and hugs! Thanks for reviewing.
KT the Shimmer Skank: Merci boucoup, mon amie ::feels French:: Anyway.. Thank you for reviewing! Okay, so technically, you should be in the shoe sisterhood, since you've reviewed my other stories too. But, oh well! I'm bitter and lonely, not to mention mean. Thanks!
VisionInGold: Egads! Caley! You've been reincarnated! Anyway, thank you for reviewing. and registering.. I'm so excited now! Muwa!