KirbeeDesirae-Since I think you were right, I've eliminated the review quota system. Snowlily-I don't want to rip off the movie, so I'm adding my own stuff, and most of the dialogue is of my creation although some I just changed the wording. The basic plot will be the same, and go watch the movie! EmpressGenevieve, iouaname, Aicirtap, Ohepeless Oramtnci, zwizwi, Eleanor, Moon*wolf, fae, mooncancer, mystikalolo, jesica black, Loggie-thank you all for reviewing, especially for those of you who have been reviewing for each chapter. As always your feedback is extremely appreciated and will be taken into account for future chapters!
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author's note: Wow, you guys have been giving me a ton of support. I know the song I wanna talk about me is country music, and I hate country music but I heard it in the mall the other day and then I thought it would be pretty perfect for this chapter so, BAH! Anyways, I stayed home sick today so I thought that between the coughing and fever I might be able to get this chapter out to you guys.
disclaimer: The song I wanna talk about me is sung by Toby Keith and I most definitely do not own any part of the movie Two Weeks Notice.
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You poor, sad multimillionaire
Chapter 4: "I wanna talk about me"
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We
talk about your work how your boss is a jerk
We talk about your church and your head when it hurts
We talk about the troubles you've been having with your brother
About your daddy and your mother and your crazy ex-lover
Mrs. Marissa Livingston Potter soon to be Ms. Marissa Livingston was definitely not on Lily's list of favorite people. Dressed in a white designer suit, dyed blonde curls which were extremely stiff, her already stretched-out face was even more distorted by the glare she was shooting at James. Her lawyer was a tanned blonde dressed impeccably shuffling through some papers nervously. Lily could see how the whole 'tryst on the sofa' had come about. Ignoring the tense air in the conference room she cleared her throat.
"Mrs. Potter…" Lily began.
"It's Ms. Livingston" The blonde scowled.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Ms. Livingston, Mr. Potter has agreed to generously give you the some of his European estates and 3.5 million dollars in assets."
The tanned lawyer interrupted, "We would like to cite a little rendez-vous between Mr. Potter and a certain secretary as a violation of pre-nuptial agreements entitling Ms. Livingston to an addition 1.5 million dollars."
"Well, a certain lawyer had a 'rendez-vous' with Ms. Livingston as well so she has been in violation as well and therefore the money will not be rewarded to her."
"You bitch!" And with that she reached across the table and tried to strangle Lily. Lily shoved her off and dumped the pitcher of water over her head. Before the blonde could retaliate Mr. Surfer-boy lawyer and James quickly moved in and separated the two women.
James looked concernedly at Lily, "Are you hurt?"
Lily shot the blonde a look, "Besides the fact that I can barely breathe, I'm pretty much fine."
"Look what you did to this dress! It's brand new, and my hair, I'm going to charge you with assault, you little tramp!" Marissa glared at Lily venomously.
"Who are you calling a tramp?" Lily returned the glare.
Fearing another physical encounter James interjected, "Marissa you will receive your 1.5 million dollars as long as you don't do anything as stupid as charging assault. A little water never hurt anyone. Now if you will please hand me the papers can we sign and get this over with?"
We
talk about your friends and the places that you've been
We talk about your skin and the dimples on your chin
The polish on your toes and the run in your hose
And God knows we're gonna talk about your clothes
"Why'd you give her the money James?" Lily asked as they walked along the street.
"Your always telling me to give money to the less fortunate, she's less fortunate than me." He replied.
Lily rolled her eyes, "James, everyone is less fortunate than you."
"True, but she wouldn't have left me alone until she got what she wanted." He said as they walked up to a hot dog vendor. "Want one?"
Lily wrinkled her nose, "Ew. Do you know what does things are made of?"
"No, and I'd like to keep it that way." He ordered a hot dog and they continued to walk down the street. He finished the hot dog in a few bites and they proceeded into Bloomingdales. Lily held her portfolio as James browsed through the clothes.
"James, I'm your chief counsel, you're supposed to listen to me."
James returned with a pink shirt in hand, "I know, but you were busy trying to drown someone. Anyway, what do you think of this shirt? Is it tacky or shirt-acular?"
"Tacky. James, you ask my opinion on your clothes but when it comes to the things that I've been hired to tell you, you don't listen to me."
James didn't even look up from the racks. "Mhmm."
Lily threw her hands up in the air. "You know what? I am not your clothing consultant, therapist, or an advice columnist. I'm your lawyer! Start treating me like one!" With that she stomped out of the store.
"Lily! Wait! I found a different shirt!" He called, but she was already gone.
You
know talking about you makes me smile
But every once in awhile
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me
Lily smoothed her fingers over the light blue silk. After an invigorating day at her favorite spa and lots of natural beauty products she finally felt pretty for the first time since she had started working for James. She gingerly pressed a lock of hair back into its proper place in the chignon and waited for the priest to continue. She loved Abby's little sister Lorelai and was more than happy to be a bridesmaid for the wedding. The priest was at the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part when a cell phone rang. The people in the church looked at each other. Inwardly groaning Lily picked up her cell phone and looked at the message, EMERGENCY-James. Abby gave her a look.
"Sorry! Congratulations, but I got to run!" Lily gave Lorelai a quick kiss and threw her bag over her shoulder.
Running down the aisle she stepped on the toes of an old lady. "Sorry!" she yelled and proceeded to run out of the church.
We talk about your dreams and we talk about your schemes
your high school team and your moisturizer creme
We talk about your nanna up in Muncie, Indiana
We talk about your grandma down in Alabama
We talk about your guys of every shape and size
The ones that you despise and the ones you idolize
We talk about your heart, about your brains and your smarts
And your medical charts and where you start
She looked into the dark New York night. The street was empty except for a bright yellow cab with a man about to get in. Her heels clicking violently she ran towards him.
"Uh, sir give me your cab and I'll give you twenty bucks." She said breathlessly.
"Forget the twenty, how bout dinner instead?" He leered.
Freaked out she replied, "Keep your dinner, I'll keep my twenty." Without another word she climbed into the cab.
"The Grand Hotel, pronto!" She yelled at the cabbie. She tried dialing James but there was no answer. The cab skidded to a stop and she threw some money at him. While trying to keep her dress from getting wet, she briskly walked into the hotel. Giving a short nod to the concierge she walked to the elevator and hit the top button. Leaning against the wall of the elevator completely out of breath she wondered what the problem was.
You
know talking about you makes me grin
But every now and then
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me
"James!" She screamed kicking open the door.
"In my closet!" Was the muffled reply.
Walking towards the closet she began to ramble, "James, did the paperwork not go through? It had to, I triple-checked and…"
James looked at her, "Well someone looks quite spiffy."
"Thank you. I was busy being a bridesmaid when someone called me, so what's the problem?"
"It's not the paperwork, Lil. They decided to let be a special guest judge for American Idol. Now what look should I go for, classic, or hip classic?" James said holding up two different pants.
Lily groaned. "You did not just call me out of Lorelai's wedding to pick a pair of clothes did you? You said it was an emergency. Do you remember what constitutes an emergency?"
"Yes. Tornadoes, tsunamis, fires, meteors, and I forget the last one…" He rubbed his chin. Lily grabbed the pants out of his hands and put them back in the closet.
She grabbed a pair of black pants, "Death. And you're not dead James."
"Well that's good. I guess the world can go on."
She sighed in frustration. "This isn't an emergency. It wasn't an emergency when you picked up a girl at the bar and asked me to make sure she was over sixteen. It wasn't an emergency when you had the castration dream. It wasn't an emergency when you wanted to know what tofu was made of. And this and every other single time you called me certainly weren't emergencies James!"
"Well, you left your cell phone on all those times. You know what I think, I think you enjoy emergencies, you feed off of them!" He said pointing at him.
She threw a light blue sweater at him. "Yes James, I adore emergencies they give me an adrenaline rush. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even think properly! When I'm not counseling you on 'emergencies' I think I'm talking to you, I dream about talking to you. You are like this annoying voice in my head. When I'm in the shower I can't remember whether I shampooed or not because I was thinking about something you said or something I thought you said! So I have to shampoo twice! Thanks to you I'm a zombie who is wasting a ton of money on shampoo!"
"Have you considered seeing a therapist, I know a very good one." He said pulling on the sweater.
She sighed in frustration. "Argh! You don't get it James! The world doesn't revolve around you! My world shouldn't be revolving around you!"
While tying one shoe he replied, "Well it does. I need your opinion on everything Lily. Your opinion is like a drug, I had it once and I can't stop. Do you think I enjoy being reliant on you?"
"You," Lily poked him in the chest, "James Potter are the most selfish person on the face of the planet."
"Well that's simply ridiculous, have you met everyone on the face of the planet?" He asked one eyebrow raised.
Lily stomped out of the hotel room. "Where are you going Lily?" James asked rushing after her.
She turned around to face him. "I can't take this anymore James. Consider this my two weeks notice, I quit."
I wanna talk about me
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Good or bad? My dialogue for the last scene isn't as good as the movie's dialogue but I tried. Review, pwease!
3 hailey