By Garrett Griffin
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STRONGBAD'S Freewrite fANfIC
okay LET's see... once upon a time... oh... whups I mean...
Once Upon A Time…
There lived a guy… a really cool guy… ah heck, he was so awesome that all the girls made him sandwiches… with butter… and whip cream… cuz I like whip cream… uh… I mean… HE liked whip cream.
Anyhow, there was this guy, and his name was Strong Dude. Not duddette or duddy or dudee, Dude. And Dude had this wonderful girlfriend named Marzipan, uh I mean Loocy. And Loocy and Dude loved each other very much. Well, at least Dude loved Loocy, but no one ever could tell about Loocy.
Well on with the story… Dude wanted to go out fishing one day. So he went out side and got worms… and then got fishing stuff ready… like the fish and pole… and whatever you use for fishing. So this dude, Dude, got all his stuff ready to go fishing… and then he went… fishing… Dude went fishing. And he sat there and sat there… and then his friend Bonestar came up… and Bonestar went "EEEmaaaail… Toons!… Games!… Chaawwaactuhrrs" and Dude went "SHUTUP". And that was funny cuz… nobody likes Homestar… uh Bonestar. Except Maybe Loocy… After fishing for a while and catching nothing… I… or Dude I mean, went swimming… in the lake… cuz he was fishing at a lake… so swim swim swim swim swim… and THEN a tire came floating by! And Dude was so like "Look OUT!" But it was too late… Dude didn't hear Dude in time and was hit by the tire… in the head… and the hands… and somehow ended up fighting the tire. The Tire was like "GRRR" and Dude went "Woooah" and Homestar was like "EEEEmmaaail".
I hate when he does that…
So then like Dude was hurt… in the head… and the hands… so he came up with this great idea! Strong Badia, uh… Dude Goodia, didn't have anyone living in it… and the tire was just floating from place to place. So Dude said "Hey… Tire… you look… Tired" (Get it? Tire… TireD haha… yeah…) "Why don't you come live in Dude Goodia… you'd meet a lot of cool people… like the Poop-Smith. And we could play some Trogdor… and you could have Allie… and I'd get Allie's sister… Uh yeah… so how bout it?" And the tire responded… "squeak". Yeah just like that… so the Tire came back to Dude Goodia and lived there happily ever after… so far… except for that one incident with the Ghost of my old computer…"
Okay well I hope you really enjoyed story time… but I got to go check some more "EEEmaaaail" uh I mean… all the ladies are waiting on me… Right Ladies? *HIGH pitched voice – "Yes Strong Bad, we're reaaady". So as you see… I'm busy and must be going…
Oh yeah… see there's that paper thingy… *makes paper noise with mouth* oh whups… I guess I shouldn't-a typed that…