Life's Suprises - Chapter 4
By
PinkyToes
Rating: PG
So, I was walking down the street the other day. This guy comes up to me and wants to sell some sort of shampoo to me. I told him: "No, thank you." Then, he comes up and sniffs my hair and goes, "oooo..your hair smells good, you don't need this shampoo." On one hand, that comment was quite flattering at the point that I don't need his bloody shampoo to make my hair smell good. However, on the other hand, I find it disturbing that someone would just go up to someone's hair and smell it and comment on it. Bleh..
So, just to warn my fellow writers and readers out there, if someone comes up to you and tries to sell you something while doing something odd and intrusive to you, beat them to a bloody pulp! Even though I didn't, I highly encourage it because I was quite disgusted by that man's behavior. Ugh..even now as I think about it..I feel nasty..because that guy's nose was in my hair...
Anyway..on with the story.
****************
"So, let's start over."
"We've been 'starting over' for the past hour now. What is there to start over?!"
"Look Mars, or should I be calling you 'Rei', this is all very new for me and for you. So why don't you cut me some friggin' slack and let's get on with the meeting!"
"Geez, Mamoru. Never pegged you as the type to yell at a lady. Very offensive and rude."
The rest of the senshi nodded in consensus with their fiery companion. Occasionally, words and phrases like 'girl power' and 'patriarchal society' and 'rude men' would come up as the senshi conversed to themselves about the 'disrespect' Mamoru had just displayed. Mamoru just rubbed face with his hands and counted down from 100 slowly in his head.
"I'm *sorry*, Rei-san. I...I didn't know just *what* I was thinking. Forgive me."
The girls raised their heads from the huddled form they had been in. A message was sent around telepathically among the girls and they came to an agreement. Rei looked at Mamoru and nodded slowly.
"Very well, Mamoru-san. I forgive you. But if you *points finger* ever show male dominance in front of us five ladies again, I'll make sure you'll lose the one part that distinctly categorizes you as a 'male.' Understood?"
"*gulp* Yes, ma'am."
"Rei?"
"Yes, Usa?"
"What's the part that distintly cate-what? Anyway, what's the part that makes him male? Oooo..what's the part that you're gonna make sure he loses? I will take part in any physical harm on Mamoru-baka! Just name the place and time, and I'll make sure he loses - errr.. - being male!"
"Usa...our innocent little bunny..just look inside your pants..I mean! Mamoru's pants! I mean! Don't look! Here...have a cookie!"
By this time, Mamoru in Sailor Moon's body had gone pale. His jaw dropped to the ground at Makoto's suggestion.
"Ooooo..thanks Mako-chan! Hmm...these are yummy..."
"Good job, Mako-chan. You managed to distract her for at least two minutes or so with your plate of cookies. You also almost made Mamoru lose his virtue! Now, back to the task at hand."
"Wait. Lemme get this straight. You - *points at Mars* - are Rei."
Rei nods in an proud manner and lightly brushes her fingers over her fuku as she looks proud and powerful for Mamoru's inspection. Mamoru sweatdropped.
"And you - *points at Jupiter* - are Makoto."
"That's right buster! Thaaaatttt's *me*!" Emphasizing her own identity, Makoto slapped Mamoru on the back and grinned maniacally as he wheezed in pain.
"And...*cough*...YOU - *points at Mercury* - are Ami."
"That's right, Mamoru-san. Happy to finally share my identity with you after months of battling. I'm sure that from now on, our shared identities with each other will prove useful in fighting the Negaverse. Welcome to the team."
Mamoru felt absolute respect for this fourteen year old girl who seems to hold so much intelligence and life experience. Her soft spoken and polite voice made him felt like he really *was* part of the team. He felt so welcomed, and respected, and - -
"Hey, Ami. Save your long speeches for sometime else, alright? We don't have time!"
Ami turned her once peaceful and calm eyes and glared at the rude and obnoxious Sailor Mars. Immediately, a glaring contest ensued and both senshi's rigid bodies leaned menacingly into the other's as they tried to stare one another down. Mamoru sighed, for seemingly the 50th time this night. Good things just don't last long.
"Anyway. You - *points to Venus* - are Minako."
"Right on, my man! You see, that's why I always do my *victory* sign, cuz that represents me, ya know? For Venus? With the V? You got it? Here, do the victory sign with me. Just spread your pointing finger and you middle finger like *this - wow, Mamoru-san, and don't stick out your middle finger at me, cuz that's a big no no - -"
Mamoru stared stupidly at the crazy blonde who was going off on how to make a victory sign. He looked over at Ami and Rei, who are still trying to stare each other down. Nothing short of a nuclear warfare would distract the two senshi from their ongoing battle. Makoto was rummaging through his kitchen cabinets for some reason. She seems to be checking out his...kitchen? He looked over to Usagi, and sighed in relief that she's at least normal. She had finished the plate of cookies.
"So, Mamoru. Do you know who *I* am?"
"How could I not, Odango? Your hairstyle gives you away. *He tweeked the meatballs on top of his head* I just *can't* believe it took this long to figure you out..."
"Well, *I* can't believe how long it took *me* to figure you out! I mean, only you, the biggest cheeseball in Tokyo, can make up such cheesy haikus for your battle entrances. I mean, talk about *corny*!
"WHAT? I wouldn't be talking, Miss 'I'm the Champion of Love and Justice, I am Sailor Moon!' I mean, talk about crap!"
"What. Did. You. Say?!"
"Gosh. How do you talk like this? My voice is so high..."
"Well, at least I don't sound like some *boy* who went through a puberty gone wrong!"
"I'll have you know, that many women think my voice as *sexy*."
"He's got you there, kiddo." Makoto's voice carried far from the kitchen.
"What women are they? Deaf ones? Ones that don't go out much so they go for the first man they see? Women without experience? Hmm? Mamoru, take your pick!"
"Oh, please, Odango."
"Ha! You cannot call me Odango anymore because *you* are the one with odangoes. Victory for me!"
Immediately, Usagi stood up, still clad in Tuxedo Kamen clothes, and jumped up and down, dancing a victory dance. She soon joined Sailor Venus in making victory signs with their fingers. It was quite a scene seeing Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Venus jumping up and down childishly flashing victory signs.
"Stop it! You're making me look childish!"
"Hmmm...this will be fun. I wonder what your *friends* will say when you act like this in front of them! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"
"Somehow, I don't think you have to worry about me acting foolish in front of my *friends*."
Mamoru had said that so quietly and gravely that everyone in the room turned to 'him'. Even Rei and Ami took time out of their battle to glance curiously at Mamoru. Usagi and Minako stopped their victory dances and sat down, looking shamefully at Mamoru's direction. Usagi, most of all, felt responsible for making him mad. She didn't mean what she said. She wouldn't have made a fool out of Mamoru in front of his friends.
Inwardly, Mamoru seethed and bashed himself silently in his mind. He didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of the girls but what Usagi said struck him. Truth is, Usagi wouldn't be able to make a fool out of him, even if she wanted to. He didn't have any friends, only Motoki. Pasting a tiny fake smile on his lips, he turned his head upward and glanced comfortingly at the rest of the occupants in the room.
"Well. Usagi, you must understand, if you make fun of me in front of my...friends...then I can make fun of you in front of yours! You wouldn't want that now, would you.."
Usagi glared at herself as best as she could. Somehow, she just can't glare at her own image no matter how hard she tried. Inwardly, she was mad at how Mamoru once again got the upper hand. She stood up suddenly.
"Mamoru Chiba! Don't you dare make a fool out of me!"
"Of course I must! Making a fool out of yourself is a daily ritual for you! To break that ritual would make people sus-pi-cious!"
Usagi was seeing red. Mamoru's singsong voice at the end of his statement aggravated her to no ends. She was about to rant at him again when she tripped on Tuxedo Kamen's leather shoe.
"Christ! Ow! Mamoru-baka! How do I detransform? Tuxedoes are annoying!"
"Usagi is right. We should all detransform. If someone were to come in and see us or see us through a window, we'll be in a bit of trouble. So, everyone, just detransform."
Ami's command was registered in everyone's minds. Immediately, Mars, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter detransformed. Four colored lights brightened the entire room and when the lights died down, four normal girls stood in the living room of Mamoru's apartment.
"Alright, you two. Your turn!"
"Mamoru-baka, just hold your hand over the broach and think about detransforming. Now, what do I do?"
"Just think about detransforming as well."
"Alright, let's do it."
Usagi detransformed first since Tuxedo Kamen had a shorter time detransforming than Sailor Moon did. Soon, Usagi found herself clad in a dark navy shirt with khaki pants.
'Not bad..not bad at all...'
Mamoru placed his hand over the broach and thought about detransforming himself. Immediately bright light washed over him. He made the mistake of looking at his - or 'her' - body as he detransformed because immediately, Usagi's body's nudeness struck his eyes and burned the images into his retina.
'Wow..'
When the lights died down, Mamoru was still struck with the images of Usagi's body. The other girls must have noticed his stupor and immediately called his name multiple times to get him out of his daydream. Usagi looked curiously at Mamoru and wondered what had gone wrong. Seconds and minutes passed by before Mamoru looked up at all of them.
"I never knew you guys go through a naked phase as you transform."
"HENTAI! YOU SICK PSYCHOMANIAC! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING LOOKING AT *MY* BODY!"
"HEY! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU ARE NAKED WHEN YOU TRANSFORM!"
Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako were shocked to know that Mamoru saw Usagi's body. Quietly, they prayed that he didn't see *their* bodies while they transformed.
The four senshi looked on as Mamoru and Usagi started their infamous fights again. The senshi, save Makoto, sat down on the couch and watched the scene, finding interest at the comments spewed from both sides.
"Just sit there guys and be comfy. I'll be right out with popcorn and cookies."
*******************
Mamoru saw Usagi's body? Scandalous!
Some bit of Mamoru tension in the chapter. Heh heh..couldn't resist.
Read and review!
So, I was walking down the street the other day. This guy comes up to me and wants to sell some sort of shampoo to me. I told him: "No, thank you." Then, he comes up and sniffs my hair and goes, "oooo..your hair smells good, you don't need this shampoo." On one hand, that comment was quite flattering at the point that I don't need his bloody shampoo to make my hair smell good. However, on the other hand, I find it disturbing that someone would just go up to someone's hair and smell it and comment on it. Bleh..
So, just to warn my fellow writers and readers out there, if someone comes up to you and tries to sell you something while doing something odd and intrusive to you, beat them to a bloody pulp! Even though I didn't, I highly encourage it because I was quite disgusted by that man's behavior. Ugh..even now as I think about it..I feel nasty..because that guy's nose was in my hair...
Anyway..on with the story.
****************
"So, let's start over."
"We've been 'starting over' for the past hour now. What is there to start over?!"
"Look Mars, or should I be calling you 'Rei', this is all very new for me and for you. So why don't you cut me some friggin' slack and let's get on with the meeting!"
"Geez, Mamoru. Never pegged you as the type to yell at a lady. Very offensive and rude."
The rest of the senshi nodded in consensus with their fiery companion. Occasionally, words and phrases like 'girl power' and 'patriarchal society' and 'rude men' would come up as the senshi conversed to themselves about the 'disrespect' Mamoru had just displayed. Mamoru just rubbed face with his hands and counted down from 100 slowly in his head.
"I'm *sorry*, Rei-san. I...I didn't know just *what* I was thinking. Forgive me."
The girls raised their heads from the huddled form they had been in. A message was sent around telepathically among the girls and they came to an agreement. Rei looked at Mamoru and nodded slowly.
"Very well, Mamoru-san. I forgive you. But if you *points finger* ever show male dominance in front of us five ladies again, I'll make sure you'll lose the one part that distinctly categorizes you as a 'male.' Understood?"
"*gulp* Yes, ma'am."
"Rei?"
"Yes, Usa?"
"What's the part that distintly cate-what? Anyway, what's the part that makes him male? Oooo..what's the part that you're gonna make sure he loses? I will take part in any physical harm on Mamoru-baka! Just name the place and time, and I'll make sure he loses - errr.. - being male!"
"Usa...our innocent little bunny..just look inside your pants..I mean! Mamoru's pants! I mean! Don't look! Here...have a cookie!"
By this time, Mamoru in Sailor Moon's body had gone pale. His jaw dropped to the ground at Makoto's suggestion.
"Ooooo..thanks Mako-chan! Hmm...these are yummy..."
"Good job, Mako-chan. You managed to distract her for at least two minutes or so with your plate of cookies. You also almost made Mamoru lose his virtue! Now, back to the task at hand."
"Wait. Lemme get this straight. You - *points at Mars* - are Rei."
Rei nods in an proud manner and lightly brushes her fingers over her fuku as she looks proud and powerful for Mamoru's inspection. Mamoru sweatdropped.
"And you - *points at Jupiter* - are Makoto."
"That's right buster! Thaaaatttt's *me*!" Emphasizing her own identity, Makoto slapped Mamoru on the back and grinned maniacally as he wheezed in pain.
"And...*cough*...YOU - *points at Mercury* - are Ami."
"That's right, Mamoru-san. Happy to finally share my identity with you after months of battling. I'm sure that from now on, our shared identities with each other will prove useful in fighting the Negaverse. Welcome to the team."
Mamoru felt absolute respect for this fourteen year old girl who seems to hold so much intelligence and life experience. Her soft spoken and polite voice made him felt like he really *was* part of the team. He felt so welcomed, and respected, and - -
"Hey, Ami. Save your long speeches for sometime else, alright? We don't have time!"
Ami turned her once peaceful and calm eyes and glared at the rude and obnoxious Sailor Mars. Immediately, a glaring contest ensued and both senshi's rigid bodies leaned menacingly into the other's as they tried to stare one another down. Mamoru sighed, for seemingly the 50th time this night. Good things just don't last long.
"Anyway. You - *points to Venus* - are Minako."
"Right on, my man! You see, that's why I always do my *victory* sign, cuz that represents me, ya know? For Venus? With the V? You got it? Here, do the victory sign with me. Just spread your pointing finger and you middle finger like *this - wow, Mamoru-san, and don't stick out your middle finger at me, cuz that's a big no no - -"
Mamoru stared stupidly at the crazy blonde who was going off on how to make a victory sign. He looked over at Ami and Rei, who are still trying to stare each other down. Nothing short of a nuclear warfare would distract the two senshi from their ongoing battle. Makoto was rummaging through his kitchen cabinets for some reason. She seems to be checking out his...kitchen? He looked over to Usagi, and sighed in relief that she's at least normal. She had finished the plate of cookies.
"So, Mamoru. Do you know who *I* am?"
"How could I not, Odango? Your hairstyle gives you away. *He tweeked the meatballs on top of his head* I just *can't* believe it took this long to figure you out..."
"Well, *I* can't believe how long it took *me* to figure you out! I mean, only you, the biggest cheeseball in Tokyo, can make up such cheesy haikus for your battle entrances. I mean, talk about *corny*!
"WHAT? I wouldn't be talking, Miss 'I'm the Champion of Love and Justice, I am Sailor Moon!' I mean, talk about crap!"
"What. Did. You. Say?!"
"Gosh. How do you talk like this? My voice is so high..."
"Well, at least I don't sound like some *boy* who went through a puberty gone wrong!"
"I'll have you know, that many women think my voice as *sexy*."
"He's got you there, kiddo." Makoto's voice carried far from the kitchen.
"What women are they? Deaf ones? Ones that don't go out much so they go for the first man they see? Women without experience? Hmm? Mamoru, take your pick!"
"Oh, please, Odango."
"Ha! You cannot call me Odango anymore because *you* are the one with odangoes. Victory for me!"
Immediately, Usagi stood up, still clad in Tuxedo Kamen clothes, and jumped up and down, dancing a victory dance. She soon joined Sailor Venus in making victory signs with their fingers. It was quite a scene seeing Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Venus jumping up and down childishly flashing victory signs.
"Stop it! You're making me look childish!"
"Hmmm...this will be fun. I wonder what your *friends* will say when you act like this in front of them! HAHAHAHAHAHHAH!"
"Somehow, I don't think you have to worry about me acting foolish in front of my *friends*."
Mamoru had said that so quietly and gravely that everyone in the room turned to 'him'. Even Rei and Ami took time out of their battle to glance curiously at Mamoru. Usagi and Minako stopped their victory dances and sat down, looking shamefully at Mamoru's direction. Usagi, most of all, felt responsible for making him mad. She didn't mean what she said. She wouldn't have made a fool out of Mamoru in front of his friends.
Inwardly, Mamoru seethed and bashed himself silently in his mind. He didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of the girls but what Usagi said struck him. Truth is, Usagi wouldn't be able to make a fool out of him, even if she wanted to. He didn't have any friends, only Motoki. Pasting a tiny fake smile on his lips, he turned his head upward and glanced comfortingly at the rest of the occupants in the room.
"Well. Usagi, you must understand, if you make fun of me in front of my...friends...then I can make fun of you in front of yours! You wouldn't want that now, would you.."
Usagi glared at herself as best as she could. Somehow, she just can't glare at her own image no matter how hard she tried. Inwardly, she was mad at how Mamoru once again got the upper hand. She stood up suddenly.
"Mamoru Chiba! Don't you dare make a fool out of me!"
"Of course I must! Making a fool out of yourself is a daily ritual for you! To break that ritual would make people sus-pi-cious!"
Usagi was seeing red. Mamoru's singsong voice at the end of his statement aggravated her to no ends. She was about to rant at him again when she tripped on Tuxedo Kamen's leather shoe.
"Christ! Ow! Mamoru-baka! How do I detransform? Tuxedoes are annoying!"
"Usagi is right. We should all detransform. If someone were to come in and see us or see us through a window, we'll be in a bit of trouble. So, everyone, just detransform."
Ami's command was registered in everyone's minds. Immediately, Mars, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter detransformed. Four colored lights brightened the entire room and when the lights died down, four normal girls stood in the living room of Mamoru's apartment.
"Alright, you two. Your turn!"
"Mamoru-baka, just hold your hand over the broach and think about detransforming. Now, what do I do?"
"Just think about detransforming as well."
"Alright, let's do it."
Usagi detransformed first since Tuxedo Kamen had a shorter time detransforming than Sailor Moon did. Soon, Usagi found herself clad in a dark navy shirt with khaki pants.
'Not bad..not bad at all...'
Mamoru placed his hand over the broach and thought about detransforming himself. Immediately bright light washed over him. He made the mistake of looking at his - or 'her' - body as he detransformed because immediately, Usagi's body's nudeness struck his eyes and burned the images into his retina.
'Wow..'
When the lights died down, Mamoru was still struck with the images of Usagi's body. The other girls must have noticed his stupor and immediately called his name multiple times to get him out of his daydream. Usagi looked curiously at Mamoru and wondered what had gone wrong. Seconds and minutes passed by before Mamoru looked up at all of them.
"I never knew you guys go through a naked phase as you transform."
"HENTAI! YOU SICK PSYCHOMANIAC! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING LOOKING AT *MY* BODY!"
"HEY! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU ARE NAKED WHEN YOU TRANSFORM!"
Rei, Ami, Makoto, and Minako were shocked to know that Mamoru saw Usagi's body. Quietly, they prayed that he didn't see *their* bodies while they transformed.
The four senshi looked on as Mamoru and Usagi started their infamous fights again. The senshi, save Makoto, sat down on the couch and watched the scene, finding interest at the comments spewed from both sides.
"Just sit there guys and be comfy. I'll be right out with popcorn and cookies."
*******************
Mamoru saw Usagi's body? Scandalous!
Some bit of Mamoru tension in the chapter. Heh heh..couldn't resist.
Read and review!