Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, the song, Moby-Dick, Playboy or Kingdom Hearts. Enjoy!
Kingdom Gundam: Chapter Fourteen
Riding along in my gummi ship, Wufei and Trowa sang. My buddy beside me at the wheel. I stopped for gas at a quarter of a mile. My curiosity runnin' wild. Cruisin' and playing the radio. With no particular planet to go!
I didn't know you liked oldies, too, Trowa said.
I didn't know you did, either, Wufei said. What other channel's do they have? Trowa opened the driver's manuel.
Three country stations, but those are broadcast from certain planets, Trowa said. Two oldie stations. Nine rap and R&B stations. Six lite stations and five news stations.
Which one is the news?
Two hundred on the dial. Wufei tuned it, keeping one eye on where they were going.
A large whale has been reported to been seen, between Agrabah and Atlantica. Please use caution in this area. We have lost our reporter, Geppetto, who was at the scene. Apparently, the whale must have eaten him, as well.
That's strange, Trowa said.
Yeah, especially since we're in the area, Wufei said, looking around.
Please, take caution in this area. Suddenly, the radio cut off. A sound rippled across it.
It sounds like a humpback whale, Wufei said. Suddenly, this huge blue thing came towards them. Ahh! It's Moby Dick's brother! Wufei tried to dodge it, by turning, sharply, but the whale crunched their ship.
~Inside the whale~
Wufei? Trowa? he heard. Guys, wake up! We're in big trouble. Wufei opens his eyes and sees black shoe in front of his face. Duo asked.
Good, at least you're awake.
Are you sure?
Yep. Come on. We have to get away from the mouth.
Yeah. The gummi ship is totally wrecked.
Duo sighed.
Just get up! Soon, Wufei and Trowa were up.
So, we're in a huge whale? Trowa asked, looking around.
Yep! I was somehow transported here, Duo said, with pride. Heero's here, somewhere. He disappeared, shortly after finding me and bringing me here.
Heero? Are you sure?
Yep! He was walking around with a blue koala thing named-
Hey! It's Geppetto! Trowa interrupted, pointing. That reporter that disappeared, remember?
Trowa, Geppetto was off of-
I know. He's right over there, on the boat. Wufei looked. Sure enough, there he was, with the little wooden puppet.
How do we get over there? Wufei asked.
Duo said, jumping into the salvia. Trowa shrugged, then jumped in after Duo.
I'm not doing it! Wufei said. It's not sanitary. Besides, that's whale's salvia!
Aw, come on, Woofie, Duo said. You know as well as I do, that most of salvia is water. Wufei looked at the gooey substance, then at Duo and Trowa, treading in it.
Here goes nothing, he said, jumping in.
~At the boat~
ANAT, this is Geppetto, come in. Reporter Geppetto, calling in. This piece of junk never works! Geppetto said, throwing the radio overboard.
Don't worry, father. We'll be rescued.
I know we will, Pinocchio, he said. But how will I get my report done?!
Duo said.
Good, the rescue crew, Geppetto said, taking out a suitcase.
Rescue crew? Duo repeated. Sorry, sir, we're not the rescue crew. We're a couple of heroes.
That was disgusting and revolting, Wufei yelled. I touched a dead fish!
I'm not dead, loser! the fish yelled. Wufei stuck his tongue out at the fish; the fish stuck its tongue out.
Heroes, huh? Geppetto said. You boys look like a couple of teenagers looking for trouble, not heroes.
But the guy at Olympus Coliseum said we were heroes, Duo said.
Do you think it's infected? Wufei asked Trowa. Trowa rolled his eyes, then walked away.
So, you're looking for an adventure, huh? Well, a little blue thing, with six arms, two antenna and three spikes out of his back stole my sketch pad. He went into the whale.
Duo asked. Geppetto nodded. Then let's go!
Trowa called. Come back! Don't go in there! Trowa jumped off the side and ran after the puppet.
Duo asked. Hey, Trowa! Wait up! Come on, Woofie! Duo jumped off the side. Wufei sighed, running after Duo.
~Chamber One~
Trowa called. Where are you?
I'm here! Pinocchio said.
Come on, let's go, Pinocchio. Geppetto will get worried if you're gone too long. Duo and Wufei ran in.
The three musketeers, said a voice. He came out from the other chamber.
Wufei asked. Where's Quatre?
Don't know. I thought you would be looking for him. Not playing around with those two.
What's that supposed to mean, Mr. I'm-too-good-to-be-with-you-because-I'm-the-Perfect-Solider-and-don't-have-time-for-your-games?! Duo yelled. Suddenly, a song started playing. Out he appeared. The terror of all terrors; more evil than evil.
What do you mean he's the perfect solider?! I am! he said, evilly laughing.
someone squealed.
Sephiroth turned. Elenwen was standing there. Sephiroth looked horrified. I thought I got rid of you!
She squealed, running towards him. Sephiroth turned and ran, screaming. They disappeared in the next chamber.
That reminds me of Relena chasing me, Heero said. Really scary. Where were we?
You were telling Wufei how he should be looking for Quatre, not playing around with me and Trowa.
It's Trowa and me, Heero corrected. Not me and Trowa. It's not proper-
I know! Duo groaned.
Wufei said. We're not playing around. We're looking for Mickey-
said a voice behind Heero. Out he came.
Wufei said, sort of taken back.
That's what his name was! Duo said.
That my name, Stitch said, proudly. Lilo give it to me.
We're wasting time, Heero snorted. Stitch? Pinocchio? Heero turned and left. Stitch and Pinocchio happily followed after.
Heero! Wait! Wufei yelled, following after him. Stitch! Pinocchio!
Does he ever stop running off without us? Trowa asked, as they started to run after him.
I don't think so, Duo said, with a sigh.
~Finally to Chamber 4~
Are we there, yet? Duo asked, wearily.
They went in here! Wufei said, going through the doorway. Duo sighed.
I can't believe it! Duo said. What does he think he is? Sephiroth? Screaming is heard from one of the other chambers. Correction. Sephiroth has been reduced to a chick magnet, since Quatre isn't in the story. Trowa shook his head.
Let's go after him, Trowa said.
~In the chamber~
Whoa! Another boss? Wufei asked. Heero nodded.
I'll help you this time, Heero said. Pinocchio is in there. Stitch, are you ready? Stitch pulled out four guns.
Ready to go.
Duo asked. What's going on... Oh, a boss battle.
They nod. Good, attack!
~Back in the mouth~
That was an easy fight, Wufei said.
Pinocchio is still missing?! Geppetto said. And I still can't find my sketch pad!
Ooo la la, Stitch said, looking under the bed and pulling out a Playboy magazine. Whoo whoo! he whistled.
Geppetto said. Find your own magazine! Duo, Trowa and Wufei looked at each other, then sighed. Give me the magazine.
Stitch said.
Give it to me!
Geppetto grabbed the magazine, Stitch held on to it.
Let go!
You let go!
Uh, we're leaving to go to the stomach, Wufei said.
It's my magazine!
No, it mine! Deorwin appeared from nowhere.
Nope, it's actually mine. He took it, and ripped it in half, then disappeared.
That works, Geppetto said, taking half of the copy. Stitch took the other half.
~Finally in the Stomach~
Wufei asked.
Wufei, I am your father. Join the dark side, he said, in a deep voice, like Darth Vader. It is your destiny.
What are you talking about?! Wufei asked.
So much to learn, yet you understand so little. One who knows nothing can understand nothing.
Save it for the End of the World, Duo snapped. Those are Ansem's lines.
Oh yeah, Heero said, his normal voice returning.
No! Not Wal-Mart worker! Wufei yelled. Heero smiled.
Is this like the dancing mushrooms and the talking fish? Heero asked.
How come everyone keeps bringing that up!?
Wufei, let me handle it, Trowa said.
Hit the deck! Duo yelled, tackling Wufei, as Trowa cleared his throat.
GO BACK TO YOUR DEMENTED, VILE, EVIL, DISGUSTING HEARTLESS AND LEAVE US ALONE SO WE CAN BATTLE THE BOSS! Trowa yelled. The whale screeched in pain, because of the vibrations in his stomach. Heero looked totally white.
Leave it to the Tro-man, Duo said. Don't talk much, but what impact and inspiration.
was all Heero managed to squeak out. Heero disappeared in a dark portal that opened behind him.
Good going, Trowa, Duo said. Suddenly, the stomach started to rumble. Maybe I spoke too soon. Suddenly, there came the boss they just defeated. Duo sighed. Let's get this over with.
*****************************
RS: Finally! *Sephiroth tied to a chair and gagged* Now I have you, my pretty! Mwhahahahahaha! *sits in Sephiroth's lap. Sephiroth starts yelling, but it's muffled and no one can understand it*
Cloud *smiles*: Heh heh. Serves you right.
DS *grumbles*: Since you're the only one not occupied. *hands him a sheet of paper*
Cloud: What's this?
DS: An advertisement in form of a skit. Just read it.
Cloud: Okay. *Starts reading* I'm bored. There's nothing interesting to read. I like Gundam Wing and The Lord of the Rings, yet there's not a funny crossover. *stops reading* What the-?
DS *interrupts*: Well, The Trade is a perfect story for you. It's about Duo and a OC named Terri and they trade the one ring in for the chance of being Ringwraiths. *looks at Cloud*
Cloud: I'm not reading this!
DS: Just read it.
Cloud *sighes*: Fine. *Reads aloud* Thanks DS, I'll go and read it right now.
DS: That's all that I needed ^^ Thanks! *Takes paper from Cloud*
Deorwin *appears*: I heard there was a party. Why wasn't I invited?
RS: Because you watched me beat Ansem and go crazy when Cloud and Aerith met.
Deorwin: Whatever. I thought you'd never beat him. *disappears*
DS: Where are we? Ah yes. Please review, and you can flame! Flamer friendly, as always.
Cloud: Where's Aerith, now that you mention it?
RS: Oh, Leon took her out to eat-
Cloud *angrily*: WHAT?!