I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. They belong to their appropriate owners.
Warnings: blood, shounen-ai
POV shifting between Heero and Duo
Dream
by sol-chan
Duo's POV:
It was such a cold day back then. The temperature had gotten well under 0 degrees making the remnants of snow lying still here and there turn crispy and tough and the sidewalks cover in the glazed frost. It was so hard to walk that day with my sprained ankle, I was slipping at least once every three minutes.
It'd taken me over an hour to get to the hospital from which I needed to pick Heero up. Again. Because no one else beside me was giving shit about him, at least not his mentors who seemed to lose interest in him all together the moment he'd stopped to be useful as a soldier, like if he wasn't even human, but a tool.
Or maybe, they'd finally left him at peace so he could put his life together, himself, the way he wanted it. Being myself, I voted for the second one. I do believe most people being good, if not on outside then at least deep down, including Heero, though he's so mean to me, more so than anyone else. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here now, filling all those forms you're obliged to fill before taking a patient home.
Finally, I was done and could go upstairs to Heero, limping just a bit. Whole me, instead of a mortal wound I'd gotten just that in the final battle, a sprained ankle. Badly sprained, if not for painkillers, I wouldn't have been sleeping for a week. Still, I didn't complain, Heero had worse, much, much worse. Only recently he'd regained conscioussness. I hadn't even talked with him yet, busy with finding and renting an appartement for us.
But I bet he wouldn't be angry. He had certainly not been missing the baka, blabbering stupidities without stop, had he ?
No, he hadn't. I saw that in his eyes the moment I got into his room, cold annoyance. I felt like if I'd disturbed him and was supposed to get out that instant.
But I wouldn't. I knew that look already and I didn't fear it.
I didn't...
" Hiya, Heero !" I shouted happily. " You're all right ?"
" Of course." He said in a monotone voice, taking his eyes off me.
" So... I bet we can go, what you think ? I've rent an appartement for
us, two rooms, a kitchen and a bedroom and a nice balcony with a view of
the sea, you'll like it. Your things went there. I made it so they'd release
you a bit earlier, since you don't like the hospitals so much and..."
Heero's POV:
Was he really thinking I was listening to him while talking like that ? Why was he even forcing himself to blabber in my presence which I could sense wasn't easy for him at all ? I was making him extremely uneasy and anxious, always, and I could sense as well that he wasn't focused on what he was saying either, rather staring at me, thinking I wouldn't notice since I was looking down and not at his face.
But even then, I could hear how his breathing was fastening.
If he feared me so much then what was he doing here ? Coming for me to give me a shelter once again ?
He was as crazy as everyone from us, exactly as much, just in the way that pleased most people, over-energetic, over-optimistic, over-friendly, flailing his hands and shouting and hugging everything that moved around him to mask the fact that his eyes stung to be crying, for years on the end. I would've preferred him to be honest with me, to act himself around me. He was always saying he didn't lie, he'd only forgotten to mention then that he himself was a lie.
I hated his demeanor, which didn't exactly mean I hated him, but even to that, I'd gotten used. We were supposed to be together, he didn't intend on leaving me alone anytime soon, so I just gave up and let him play that his comedy.
Though it was getting on my nerves, the more the longer it continued, and I would've gladly done something to him that would've rendered him speechless for once.
There was one way I could think of and sometimes, his strangely sweet scent suddenly filling my nostrils, a light brush of his frail body against my own, a glimpse of him naked, with just a towel low around his hips, jumping out from under the shower, was making me think it over once again.
He could be sweet...
He could bring me a bit of peace of mind if only he would've shut up and stopped to pretend everything was so damned all right, while it wasn't and he knew it as well as I did.
All was over. The war was over. We'd lost everything in it and now it was over, leaving us with nothing, supposed to get on with our lives, supposed to forget about the torture our training had been, about the nightmare we were just through, supposed to act like if we hadn't lived through lifetimes in months...
I was tired, that kind of tired that makes you slit your wrists open so you could finally go to sleep forever.
I'd hoped so much I wouldn't get through the final battle alive, that I'd die, here, in that hospital, but they'd somehow put me back together from shreds, proving once again my body could stand way more than I would've liked it to at the moment.
And to make it worse, Duo was here, waiting for me to answer some his
question, which I'd failed to hear.
Duo's POV:
He wasn't listening to me. Well, I wasn't listening to myself either. So...
Still, I didn't enjoy being ignored. I frowned and pouted, which made him scowl and send me a chilling look. Don't act childish, Duo... He was at that again.
I sighed, stood up from the edge of his bed, brushed off some imagined dust and held out a hand to him, to help him up.
He ignored it and stood up on his own.
It was my turn to scowl and begin playing with just the tip of my braid, looking intently down at the floor, trying hard to stare a hole right through it.
He brushed past me, maybe too much for a coincidence, making me breathe even faster.
Why was he doing this to me ? All of these little things ? Why was he trying so hard to make me go crazy, while I was just trying to be nice and help him ? He was a sadistic bastard. He was using mercielessly the fact that I was forced to stay near him, first, during the war, because of missions and things, now, because I still preferred it over being alone.
He had to be hating me to be doing this.
But I couldn't bring myself to hate him back.
Heero's POV:
Only outside, on the sidewalk covered with glazed frost, I noticed how much he was limping. I was feeling weak myself, from the lost of blood from all my wounds, but I caught his arm anyway, forcing him to lean onto me.
" I've sprained my ankle." He muttered sheepishly. " I felt strangely dizzy while getting out of Deathscythe after the last battle and... well, failed to get out, rather fell out and so..." He laughed nervously.
" Baka." I told simply, dragging him forcefully towards the bus stop.
" I know. Not even half as perfect as you." He whispered, the warm cloud of his breath tickling the side of my face.
I let him go only at the bus stop, sitting him down on the branch. He hugged himself, shivering from cold. Cold that wasn't bothering me at all. I took my jacket off and staying just in the sweater threw it over his shoulders. He took it thankfully and looked up with a polite smile and a `thank you` ready to escape his lips, but said nothing in the end, meeting my disdainful gaze. He shifted nervously and for the shortest while, seeing the feral gleam in his violet eyes, I thought he'd throw that jacket back into my face, stand up and go his own way, leaving me here all alone.
But he didn't. He was too soft for that.
Something in the back of my mind told me I was wrong. Duo wasn't soft, not a slightest bit, not with his past, not with his fighter's ability, he was standing everything so calmly because he feared to stay alone, but that wasn't a fault, as I did too.
I didn't want him to leave me alone. Maybe I was pushing my luck by treating him like that, I could lose him, but I could gain him as well, get to know the real him, the God of the Death in him.
I wanted him to be angry at me, so angry he'd attack with his fists, so I could restrain him and pin down to the closest wall and take him, quickly and roughly, with him fighting for his freedom, fuck him senseless so he'd know his place. I wanted to win him over, him, the God of the Death, not that something he was trying so hard to be...
Maybe then, I would've stopped to feel like a shit myself, if I could possess such a wonderful creature as him, then it would've meant I was worthy something...
Dammit... How was it that he was making me think things like that ?
Duo's POV:
He was looking at me like if I'd sank the lowest a human being could possibly get. I wasn't feeling well under that kind of gaze. We were both pretending to be involved in different activities, whole the evening, I was trying to read on the couch in the living room, he was sitting at the table opposite me with his notebook in front of him, typing, typing, typing...
... and not even for a second taking his eyes off me, for hours on the end.
I wanted the ground under me to give way so I could disappear in a dark hole and never go out.
He had such blue eyes, dark Prussian blue, like the ocean during a storm, as deep and ready to draw you in and never let go and so intense it was making shivers run down my spine continously.
There was such a mockery in his eyes... He despised me so much, my social, a bit childish demeanor. In fact, I was acting more normal than him, but he was treating me like if I was nuts. I was fed up, with him, with his coldness, with his moods. Despite what one could think not really knowing him, he had a wide variety of those, sometimes he was even in the mood to mock me verbally.
Hardly ever he was doing that directly, rather, `taking care` of little clumsy Duo so he wouldn't get hurt or hurt someone else, stupid little him. Showing me how inferior I was to him...
... though he knew, I bet he knew I wasn't, not really. On missions, he was trusting me as he was himself, letting me be completing the most important and dangerous tasks.
So why ?
Why would he treat me then like a seven-years old who can't take care of himself without making a giant mess ? And whole the time, mocking me because of that ?
Because I was acting differently in these two situations myself ?
I hated the darker part of my self, I hated the fact it had to be existing for me to make it out alive to that moment and he was showing me how it was better, forcing me to admit that it was the real me - the murderer, making people fear and cry and never smile in greeting, like those who'd killed my friends, all of them, sister Helen, father Maxwell, those from the gang who hadn't been adopted yet... I...
I didn't want to ! I didn't want to be like them, like him, like Heero.
Never...
Heero's POV:
I was lying in the bed, or rather, on the couch in the living room where I was forced to sleep as there was only one bedroom in the appartement. It was all Duo was able to rent so quickly, good enough. I wouldn't have slept anyway, no matter where, on the floor or a water bed.
I was lying in the darkness, having hard time keeping my eyes closed, forcing myself to fall asleep, though I didn't want to, not really. I was tired, my fresh wounds had really weakened me, but I couldn't relax and rest.
I was tense, my muscles hard like scrolls of thick wires, my body wide awake and mind completely alert. I wasn't tired enough. In few weeks from the end of the war, I hadn't been on a mission, I hadn't missed a night... I wouldn't be anymore, no more missions.
So what would I be doing ? Tormenting Duo because I was simply bored and had too much energy to waste ?
What had he done to me in the first place ? Had been too nice to me ? Let me torment him ?
Was something I wanted so much after the war like completing my missions during it ?
During the war missions were distracting me from what I'd been indeed feeling for him. Ever since, I'd been having hots for him, him, the one firing everything around up and disappearing like a shadow, the one killing his victims looking them straight in the eye, his own amethyst eyes wearing that feral gleam, looking just deadly, barely emerging from the darkness in his black clothing...
If not for the missions, he'd been mine months ago. But no, only on missions he was like that, back at safehouse he'd been acting completely different and his demeanor alone had been repulsing me immediately.
I feared I'd lost him, the God of the Death, once and for good, no more
missions, no more Shinigami. He'd stay only there, in my dreams...
Duo's POV:
Finally, he'd left me alone, given me some measure of peace. He'd gotten worse after the war, so much worse, now, when he hadn't missions anymore to occupy him, all he had to do was to torment me. I'd go crazy with him like that, if it continued, I'd go crazy.
I needed to ask what was his problem, maybe then... But what could it be ? That he thought himself better ? That he thought himself some kind of example to follow ? I knew well enough how wrong he was, so why wouldn't I leave him ? I feared the loneliness, even more than I feared him.
So I'd stay. Maybe it'd get better, eventually, after the shock passes,
maybe he'd get normal, or even more open, nicer... Yeah, to dream is a
good thing...
Heero's POV:
I was on a neverending white surface, in a neverending white space, white surface, white sky. What was there under my feet ? The snow.
My blood ran cold as I took another step and it crampled under the weight of my body, my foot ending up in something lax and sticky, and red. The blood, all around, just under the frail layer of snow, slowly sinking through it to the surface, painting all around crimson, melting the snow as it was pulsing like a part of a living body in agony, turning all around liquid and red.
I was standing in the pool of blood, deep to my ankles, extending to the horizon, the suffocating scent of blood filling the air. There was no way to get out, to flee, as I was sensing the pool of blood had no borders at all.
I looked up, at the crimson sky, darkening slowly, turning black and getting marked by white spots. It was snowing again.
I tried to walk in a random direction, walking over something lax and sticky and at some places hard, red and white, blood and bones, mutilated human corpses.
One of these nightmares which were repeating hundred times over, never getting less terrible.
I had to find it, eventually and I did. Little corpse lying on a piece of debris over the sea of blood, her corpse, hugging tightly her dead puppy. I didn't want to see it again ! Things happen, that's normal innocent civilians die in wars, but... but...
Slowly emerging mutilated corpses and the scent of blood and burned human flesh getting just too intense were making me sick. I wanted this to end ! Once and forever...
On the starry sky above appeared a distant shape of a giant machine. Gundam Wing changing into the mobile suit's form, extending one arm with a beam saber and destroying invisible foes one by one, just over my head, drenching everything around in its deep, giant shadow, however there was no source of light visible, anywhere. I was there, in the cockpit, I knew that. I was there as well as I was here.
With every strike, every shot, more corpses were falling down from the sky along with the snow, falling into the pool of blood, slowly sinking down, just at my feet.
I wanted this to stop !
I wanted him, me, the other me, to stop, stop killing !
I was so sick... so...
I turned around, hearing the distinctive sound of another mobile suit's giant engine functioning nearby, only to see Deathscythe land behind me, opposite Wing, though not seeming to notice him. The entrance to its cockpit was open and it was empty. Duo was slowly mounting up the machine only now, getting closer and closer to the cabin, in such a strangely slow motion.
Suddenly Wing disappeared and there was just Deathscythe and Duo, reaching the cockpit, then getting inside, the mobile suit pulling down its scythe. I knew what was going to happen, the moment he'd start fighting, I knew, though Deathscythe had never before appeared in that nightmare. I knew... More corpses... Again...
" Don't, Duo." I was startled hearing my own voice plead him like that, louder and louder, over and over again. " Don't !"
I didn't want him to do this, no ! But he wasn't listening, he couldn't even hear me. Deathscythe started to move and more of the corpses began falling down, sinking in the pool of blood, though never completely, all around me, behind me, in front of me, feet away.
" Stop !"
I sank down to my knees, down into the blood. I was so weak, I could do nothing to stop him, I wanted to disappear, I wanted to stop having nightmares, once and forever. To stop...
He was so beautiful. I looked up at him, into his knowing amethyst eyes, at his sadly smiling face. He had wings, the bat's wings, wide and black, moving slowly and keeping him over all of the blood. Deathscythe sank into darkness, the snow and the corpses stopped to fall from the sky and the sea of blood turned peaceful, swallowing them all, turning into a neverending crimson surface.
I couldn't take my eyes off him, I wasn't able to, though I was feeling so dirty, too dirty to be looking at him. He moved closer, very slowly, and enveloped me with his arms, holding me tightly against him, as we were flying up towards the pure, dark sky. He was taking me out of that bloody hell, towards the dark and empty heaven. He was warm, warm and comforting. My eyes flickered to his braid, floating freely behind him. I reached out for it, just holding it tightly as he was...
The sky consumed us. I sank into the darkness and emptiness, ceasing to exist. I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness and felt nothing but coldness. Slowly, I sat up, forcing my eyes to see, something, anything, but it was futile. There was just darkness.
I met something warm on my way up. Him. I could smell his sweet, musky scent, filling my nostrils, making them twitch in anticipation. It was all just a dream, here I could have him in every way I wanted. I reached out and pulled him closer to me, held him against me. He was still so warm...
He was strangely stiff, his fast breaths tickling at my ear, his hands
clenching into fists on my chest...
Duo's POV:
What the fuck was going on here ?
Heero had had a nightmare, a bad one, to be screaming as loudly as to wake me, sleeping in the other room, up. Woken up in the middle of the night I'd been kind of dizzy. I'd fallen out of the bed onto the floor, but gotten up quickly, hearing him call me in the kind of voice making my blood run cold. Shiver had run down my spine. What had been happening to him ? He'd never called me in his sleep before, never. It had been happening to him in the past, to be screaming while having a particularly bad nightmare, but to be calling me... never...
I'd gone to him, into the dark living room and towards the couch. I hadn't bothered to turn the light on, not that I'd remembered where the switch was. I'd sat down, on the edge of the couch, next to him, putting a hand on his sweaty forehead, trying hard to wake him up...
He'd woken up, yes, and... and embraced me, the moment he'd opened his
eyes, blue even in the darkness. He was holding me so tightly against him
it wasn't feeling like a friendly hug, rather like if he was trying to
consume me, to make us one. My heart began to pound way too fast for its
own sake, my hands clenching into fists on his chest... If he tried anything,
I...
Heero's POV:
What was wrong with him ?
It'd been him who had come to me, to take me out of the hell of my regrets, to save me. And now he was squirming, trying to break the hold I had on him. No, I didn't want to let him go, to let him leave me alone in here again, in my nightmare, to suffer in loneliness. I was determined to keep him...
I crushed him with whole my body's weight, falling over him, laying him on the couch on his back and pressing my body against his. He took a sharp intake of breath, shivering a bit. He felt so frail against me, his body, more slender and fragile, slightly smaller, his damp skinny wrists under my hands, his braid, trapped somewhere between us, his wide open violet eyes which I could distinguish even in the total darkness. I felt suddenly so tempted to kiss him, to take him slowly in my possession.
I did, hovering over him and pressing my lips to his, delicately, desperately. Once, then again. He was sweet...
His lips turned swollen and damp with the next kisses, his body still struggling to get free, but I... I didn't want to let him go, ever. I hadn't kissed anyone before, but still, I could feel it wouldn't have felt that good with everyone.
I kissed him again, forcing his lips apart with my tongue this time,
forcing it inside his mouth, to tangle with my own, meeting mine timidly,
but soon enough joining it in the passionate dance.
Duo's POV:
God, please, don`t, don`t make me enjoy that ! I prefer girls, believe
me, I do like girls better... I'd never even as much
as thought of the other possibility, espacially not about Heero, of
all people, in that way. He hated me. So why the fuck was he doing this
to me ? And why was it feeling that good ?
It wasn't exactly my first kiss lips to lips, I'd stolen one from Hilde some time ago. She'd done what every decent girl would've done at her place - had slapped me across my face with all her might, which hadn't been exactly weak. It'd hurt, but still, the kiss had been nice...
...unless not compared to this. Heero was intense, it was even predictable looking into his eyes, just... There was something more about him, that had all of a sudden turned me on for him, beside the skill of his tongue. He was...
He was putting me in such a terribly inferior position, putting me under him with my hands pinned down. He was so strong... Yeah, this wasn't exactly a news. He'd been always stronger, maybe not as fast, but definetely stronger. He could put me down in every kind of hand to hand combat and it was worrying me a bit, because he could do whatever he pleased with me. But somehow even that concept wasn't totally repulsing.
I did enjoy being in someone's control, I did enjoy the sense of being someone's property, maybe because I'd always needed to take care of myself on my own and had been always alone, never crossing the line of friends with anyone. Friends weren't what I wanted anymore, I wanted this.
And so I responded to his kiss, not minding anymore that it was him, the suicidal sociopath tormenting me for his own sick pleasure, unless he was strong and warm and...
I felt frail against him, like if I indeed needed him to take care of me. His tongue was penetrating my throat and I gave up to him, stopping to struggle all together. His hands moved from pinning down my wrists to holding my shoulders. His larger, warmer, more calloused hands. We were a lot alike, but he was still so different.
When he pulled away, he left me craving for more. What was he thinking he was doing ? Why hadn't he first, in the light of the day, normally told me he wanted me ?
Because I would've laughed in his face and never even believed him, yet alone let him do this. There was something magic in that night, melting at my defenses. His eyes were dazed, I could see it from that close in the lessening darkness, as well as the contours of his face, as the moon got out from over the clouds and gave a bit of light. It was a full moon. People do crazy things during a full moon...
I was doing an espacially crazy thing, letting Heero Yuy seduce me, however strange that sounded.
Slowly, I took my hands up, showing him I had no bad intentions and slipped them into his unruly hair. That I had to admit, there had been times in the past when my hands had been stinging to do this. Guy had such an amazing hair, never bending to the comb.
I was feeling dizzy, unfamiliar heat filling my stomach. I pulled his head down for another kiss, more delicate, just the lips whispering against lips, soft, feathery... I... I'd never thought he could be that delicate.
He moved then to kiss my face, my eyelids, my forehead, my cheeks, my neck, barely touching me, just so I could feel the flesh of his lips hot over my cool skin. My breath was caught in my throat, my heart pounding like crazy as he travelled lower, unbuttoning my loose shirt and leaving me exposed to the cool air. His hands were moving slowly, soothingly over the planes of my narrow chest. I moaned when he brushed my erect nipples. And only then it hit me, with the rush of blood to my brain, what exactly we were going to do if I did nothing to stop him. It'd be rape...
No, idiot. You want this and you know that, just not in that way.
He hadn't even asked my permission. He hadn't even told me what was going on here, how was it that he was treating me like a shit in the light of the day and then taking me to his bed at night. Not exactly... It'd been me to come here in the first place, but only because he'd had a nightmare and had been calling for me, but maybe...
...maybe he wasn't aware of that ? And finding me in his bed had thought that I indeed had come for... that ?
My blood ran cold. He'd treat me like a slut, he'd use me and tomorrow act like if nothing happened and I'd be feeling bad to the end of my life because I'd lose my virginity to him, of all people, to a guy, who didn't care about me, who hated me, and in such a way, to all of this.
I felt a rush of adrenaline, something inside me telling me to stop him. I reached for the back of his neck and holding him like there, pried his head away, pulling it up and towards my face. My second hand secured his wrists in one swift motion. I might not be able to hold him down...
His body slumped onto mine, having no support anymore and only then, I could feel how rock-hard he was and what it was doing to me to have our erections pressed to each other. I had to fight him, but I...
...already wanted him to win.
Heero's POV:
His eyes had that gleam, that dangerous gleam that had used to be the thing which had been turning me on the most in him. He brought my face inches apart to his own, forcefully holding my chin.
He was so real, in all his shivers, whimpers and squirms. He had all these little scars on his chest one could never get to remember all. A mark of being strangled long time ago low on his neck, scars left by shot wounds, deep scars on his wrists, indicating something I didn't want to think about right now and a deep, nasty scar which I'd discovered only now, running up from his forehead, around his skull, to almost the back of his head. Like if he'd been forcefully thrown at the wall head first and his skull cracked. It was completely hidden by his hair, but it was possible to check if he had such scar in reality.
" What..." His voice wavered, like if he was terrified by the way it had broken through the total nightime silence. He lowered it to the most silent whisper. " What do you think you're doing ? I haven't come to your bed for that. "
He didn't sound whiny, like he could, he sounded deadly and the grip he had on my wrists tightened, so much they made a weird cracking sound. We both knew equally well that still I could break it, that I was simply stronger. Not that he was weak. Not that he couldn't cause me pain with that.
" Then why won't you go away ?" I asked, looking down at him.
I didn't think it possible, for him to leave me, even then, I could sense I wouldn't have more nightmares that night and that he'd be back, the next night and the next, to finish what we'd started, if not in reality, then at least here.
" Fine." He told and rolled us over, landing on top of me, off the couch, onto the floor.
We both gasped at what we felt with the added friction to our ground together shafts. Then he stood up, leaving me there alone, abandoned by his comforting warmth. I excepted him to just disappear, but he didn't, I could hear the sound of his footsteps as he was walking away and then the sound of the light switch being pressed down. The light filled the living room in which I'd fallen asleep and I stood up from the floor, looking at Duo, standing next to the door, with his back close to the wall. His disheveled braid was undone at the very tip, the band lost somewhere, his lips coral and swollen, he was flushed and breathing heavily, his erection apparent even through the lose pyjama pants he was wearing.
The reality gnawed on me only then. This indeed wasn't a dream.
Duo's POV:
He was looking good enough to eat with a spoon. Why was I realizing that only now ? When you got right down to it, Heero was a beautiful guy, maybe looking cold and stubborn, but still, beautiful. Especially now, with his hair disheveled even more than normally, his lips swollen a bit, his eyes looking at me... well, hungrily, let's call it... and rock-hard. He was wearing just boxers for the night and they really weren't hidding much.
My stomach tightened as I realized how big he was. To have something like that stuck up your ass had to be...
I'd never seen another male naked and really hard, so just a few realizations. God... Where was he hiding all of that in those his spandex shorts ? He wasn't exactly naked, though I would've wished him to be, however demented that sounded.
Beside that, he was looking weird, kind of... astonished ?
Heero's POV:
I never meant to show the real Duo I was interested in him in that way. It'd complicate things. He'd except a few things from me which I wouldn't be able to do for him. That could mean the end, the end of our... supposed to be friendship.
I didn't want to lose him. Him and my purpose, my missions, all at once.
" You have something to tell me ?" He asked, taking a step towards me and away from the wall, reaching up to brush his bangs out of his eyes.
" I don't want you to leave."
" What do you mean ?" He asked startled.
" Stay with me." I said, approaching him.
Our faces were inches apart when he spoke again.
" Does staying include sharing your bed ?"
" Only if you want to share it. Your bed. We won't be sleeping on the couch."
I put one arm at the side of his head, hand on the wall, blocking him one way of escape.
" And we will be sleeping ?"
" Eventually, yes." I told smugly, putting my second arm at his other side.
" You're demented, Heero. You don't even like me. Do you even know that people who do such things are supposed to love each other ?"
" Maybe, but if you really feel nothing for me, then why won't you leave ? Why are we still here, together, instead of going our own ways after the war ?"
" We don't have anyone else." He whispered.
" Then we may as well as enjoy that we have each other."
I was desperate, yes. I hadn't meant it to happen the way it had, but I wasn't either going to admit I'd thought it all a dream. Beside that, it'd been good, better than I'd excepted it to be and it'd been feeling right with him, just with him. The annoying baka, but at least warm and pure, in a way, and beautiful. And his other side, the God of the Death, wasn't completely gone either. He could give me everything I needed, from the shelter to the advantage and as another Gundam pilot understand me more than anyone else, than Relena, for that matter.
" We're both males." He told.
" That didn't seem to be bothering you a while ago."
He swallowed nervously.
" But it's hard that way. You can't even go out on a street or to a park and kiss your boyfriend or hold hands, people stare."
" We are the Gundam pilots. We decide how we live and how we die, not the others."
" You've been taught a lot of those pathetic formulas, haven't you ?" He asked, smiling feebly.
I kissed him again.
He moaned in protest into my mouth and tried to push me away, but wasn't strong enough and it was all too apparent that his body was enjoying that.
" It's kind of weird, you know ?" He said, panting between the words. " To be so mean to me for so long and then, all of a sudden, want me as your lover..."
I didn't tell anything, though I could sense he was excepting me to. To do what ? Explain myself ?
" It won't be a one night-stand. We've really gotten used to each other. We can not even realize and we'll spend our lives together." He smiled again, obviously not minding the concept.
" So what ?"
" You're deciding a lot." His smile widened, his eyes beginning to sparkle. He really wasn't looking bad smiling, not bad at all.
" I've decided already." I told simply.
I had. The moment he, the one with the bat's wings, had appeared in my dream, I'd been determined to never let him go and leave me all alone again.
His smile turned into a full-out dreamy grin.
" But you'll be taking me on dates, buying me little cute things, hugging me when I feel like crying and be nice to me, promise ?"
I wanted to smack him upside his braided head, like always when he was acting childish.
" Promise, but grow up."
He pecked me on the cheek.
" Sure. In a few years." He whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around my neck.
Not thinking much, I took him up, his feet off the floor and carried him to the bedroom. His braid got undone whole the way up on the way, a mass of curly auburn strands long to Duo's knees surrounding us. I put him down on the bed and went back to the living room to turn the lights off.
When I came back, he was curled into a little ball, sucking his thumb and sleeping soundlessly, his hair all around.
I couldn't help but smile. He was doing that on purpose. Or maybe not. I got into the bed with him, put my arms around him, nuzzled my face in the hair at the top of his head and went to sleep myself.
No more dreams tonight...
The End