Chapter 19

Harry lay in his bed, not wanting to subject himself to the world. He just wanted to be alone right now. He thought about Malfoy, and why he would do that, and what was going to happen to him. He almost felt bad for him, and then he would remember that he tried to rape Hermione. Harry wondered how the trial would go. He wished they didn't have to go. Every so often, Harry's mind would travel to Parvati. He didn't mean it to, he couldn't help it. He wondered if McGonagall hadn't come in, how far they would have gone. Was he ready to have sex at 15 years of age? Was that normal? Who was he to know what was normal or not. It didn't seem right but when they were together, lord, it felt right.

He thought about what Ron had said about being together for a long time. He didn't picture himself with Parvati. Something about it didn't seem right. He couldn't lie to himself, he pictured himself with Ginny. He knew Ginny was his future… but for now, for some reason he couldn't work out to himself, Parvati was his present.

There was a knock on the door. Then Hermione stuck her tiny head through the crack. Her face was stained with tears and she tilted her head in a sympathetic gesture as she peered at Harry lying sadly in his bed. Only Harry could lie there expressionless, and look sad.

The two didn't speak, Harry just simply lifted his covers and Hermione crawled under. He originally wanted to be alone, but he would never shun a best friend in need for comfort.

"Growing up bloody well sucks" Hermione said into Harry's shoulder.

"Hermione don't swear" Harry joked.

"Growing up, and love bloody well suck"

"I don't disagree, but we have to deal, so there's no use in us sitting her crying over something we can't control. We've known all along, that love was part of growing up, and growing up was inevitable."

"Yes, well, things were so much simpler when love wasn't involved… this is driving us all mad! I swear Harry, I'm going to go into depression before I turn sixteen!"

"If you think about it Hermione, things haven't changed that much. I mean, think about your last 5 years at Hogwarts and think about all the times you layed in bed, crying over Ron. The mental abuse started a long time ago. The only think that has changed is now there is a physical end involved and without it, you'd be upset that it wasn't there, and with it, it only makes the mental end that much harder."

"So it's a lose/lose situation"

"Basically"

The two shared a giggle.

"How are things with you and Parvati?"

"Ehhh"

"Ehhh is never a good thing"

"No, things are good, don't get me wrong… I just… things are going a little quickly for my liking and I'm afraid that we're going to do something that I will later regret"

"I can honestly say I would never expect that to come from a boy in a relationship"

"The roles are reversing" Harry joked. "No, seriously, I mean, the fifteen year old boy in me is loving it, but the Harry Potter in me is saying woahhh slow down, you're just fifteen"

"I know the feeling…. Stupid raging hormones haha"

"Haha, yea I feel like I was JUST having this conversation with Ron."

Hermione popped up in the bed and stared down at Harry. He wondered if he shouldn't have said this.

"What did Ron say"

"Hermione .. Maybe I better not…."

"Harry, what did he say about it?"

At this point she had grabbed him by the collar and he knew she meant business.

"Alright, alright, long story short, he loves you and wants to take things slowly so you can be together for a long time but its really hard to do that when you're together because he wants you so bad and if you tell him I told you I swear I'll hex you Hermione Granger" Harry got out in one quick breath.

Hermione leaned back and seemed pleased. She even laughed a little.

"That's not so bad" she said, laying back down on Harry's bed. The two had stopped cuddling which Harry was happy about considering it wouldn't look good if Ron had walked in. No doubt, Ron trusted Harry and Hermione, but being the jealous git that he is, he wouldn't enjoy the two of them snuggling. No respectable boyfriend would.

"So is that the same way you feel about Parvati?"

"Truth? No" Harry said, leaning up on one elbow. "When I'm with her, its like a constant need for passion, like clothes ripping off passion haha. I mean I like her a whole lot, she makes me smile and gives me butterflies but I'm not sure it is love, and I'm not sure it's long term… its just a really weird feeling that I can't control, and its getting harder and harder not to shag with her. I dunno what to do."

"Sounds like teenage hormones to me"

Harry laughed, "There's something else…."

"What?"
"I still can't stop thinking about Ginny."

Hermione smiled. "I like you with Ginny… I think you two are meant to be"

"Yea, a part of me knows we are."

"Maybe you just need to get the "Parvati" out of your system, and then you can be content with Ginny."

"That's what I was thinking too, but what's to say that after I get the "Parvati" out of my system, Ginny will still be there waiting for me?"

"I dunno, she may not be Harry"

Harry stuffed his head back down in his pillow. It was the question that had been plaguing him all day. Would Ginny wait for him?

Ron then walked into the room. He walked over to Harry who was face down in the pillow and ruffled his hair a little. Harry looked up at him and smiled, he was always glad to see his buddy.
Hermione leaned over and whispered in Harry's ear, "do you think me and Ron could be alone?" she asked.

Harry nodded at her and grabbed his Quidditch stuff and left the room.
Ron looked at her, wondering which one was gonna talk first.

Hermione walked over to his bed and lied down next to him. She leaned over and planted a small sweet kiss on his lips.

Ron kissed back, but his expression was blank again when they pulled apart.
"I'm still mad you know" he told her.

"I know, but can't you be mad at me silently?" she asked with a cute pleading expression.

It wasn't often that Hermione acted like this, so Ron figured he better take advantage of it and leaned in to kiss her back. Then he had a thought.
"You're acting strange, what's up with you."

"Ron! Can't you just move on for once, and live for the moment, and love for the moment, and stop acting so pissed off and angry all the time, and stop holding stupid grudges!"

Ron knew he should have taken advantage of her previous tone. And in fact, what she had just said had made him angry and pissed off. He really didn't know how to control his temper. He didn't want to mess things up again though. He got up from the bed and went over to the window to take a few deep breaths and calm his emotions. The only thing he could think about was the fact that they got along for all of second year. How did they do that? Oh yea, she was in a coma for half of it. Ron thought about how upset he was when she was petrified. Did he know back then how much he loved her?

Hermione wasn't going to wait any longer for him to think about things. Sometimes, with Ron, he would think too much, and ruin any inclination he had about being nice or making up because he would think of something else to be mad about. She simply went over to him, pulled down on his gigantic towering body till their lips were touching, and showed him everything she felt for him through kiss.

Ron couldn't oblige. Damn his love for her. He wrapped his arms around her, nearly lifting her up as he pulled her closer to him. The two fell back onto the bed and Ron leaned back on the pillows as Hermione climbed on top of him and continued to kiss him passionately. Ron absent mindedly pulled her hips down into him as he held her close against him. He liked this; he liked this very much. Then she simply got up, and plopped down next to him on the bed, smiling at him.

Ron sat there, not moving his previously straddled on body at all. "Well that sucks" he said out loud.

Hermione seemed confused because she remembered Harry saying that Ron wanted to take things slow but she laughed it off anyway.

"Ron it's in the middle of the day, its light out! And we're in your open dorm, anyone could walk I here at any moment!"
Ron got up from the bed, taking her hand, and led her to the bathroom. He shut the door behind them, locked it, and turned off the lights. There was no windows in there so no light shone through at all. "Happy?" He asked, pulling her into his arms and kissing her neck and shoulder.

"Ron!" she laughed. "I thought we were going to take things slow!"

"You know Hermione, I've been thinking a lot about that theory, and my theory is that it bloody well sucks. I mean, I figure, we're gonna be together forever anyway, so why not live for every day?"

Boy, she thought she was attracted to him before with what Harry told her he had said, but this was even better as she, a hormone filled fifteen-yea-old girl, was concerned.

Ron ran his hands up the back of her thighs and under her skirt. He let them rest upon her bum for a moment and then lifted her up against him. This was very new to the two of them, and they didn't know what they were doing, but they let their instincts and mother nature take over. Speaking of… nature… Hermione was surprised to feel Ron pushing his against her. She couldn't say as though she didn't like it but it made her laugh a little. Unfortunately out loud.

"What" Ron asked, breathless.

"Nothing," she lied.

He let her down and she pulled his head down to kiss his forehead.
"Ron, maybe we've had enough for one day."

Ron reluctantly sighed. He knew she was doing this just because she was the girl and she thought she should be. But he also knew she was right.

"Alright then love" he said, returning the forehead kiss. He loved her and would wait his whole life if it meant she would still be at his side.

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