Guilt: Sanzo

By: Sanzo-chan

Warning: Shounen-ai!!!!!!!!!

________________________________________________________________________

No... it wasn't supposed to be like that... he died to protect me when I myself am his master. What a dumb fool am I to let him protect me. I am the person who's supposed to protect him.

If I had thought what would had happened before I took him with me there... all this wouldn't have happened and I could still se his cheery face all the time. I am sorry...

Gojyo tried to cheer me up but I would not listen to him. Hakkai won't talk to me until who knows when. I took him there... it's my entire fault. I am to take the blame for his death. Now I have nobody else to call me 'taiyuo' anymore. All the questions burned in my mind.

FLASHBACK

            'Sanzo... please take me with you... I don't want to be alone anymore... please...' Goku begged me.

'It's too dangerous, Goku... I can't bear to lose you... that's why you can't come,' I replied. It was true. This youkai was beyond any of us.

I wanted to go alone because I thought they won't care if I died but I was wrong. They did care for me even if they didn't show it. The only person I cared for was Goku. My pet. I cupped his face and kissed him. Our tongues danced. I savoured his sweet taste and didn't want to stop kissing him.

Finally, I broke the kiss. Goku looked up at me wanting for more.

'Later... I promise... well, I made up my mind... you can come only if you promise not to hurt yourself. You don't do anything reckless like you tried to do the last time we fought him, ok?'

'Um! I promise!' he replied.

We walked into the night leaving the other two behind.

~*~*~*~*

I attacked the other two youkais that were in our way. They were only small fry. I began walking to their leader. The person we came for. With Goku by my side, I can't lose. Suddenly, a flash of lightning came out of nowhere blinding us for a moment. The perfect opportunity for him to attack us.

'Stay still! Be on your guard!' I told him.

After a minute, I got my eyesight back and saw the youkai right in front of me. I was kicked the stomach and was sent flying backwards into the wall. The blast made me unconscious for a while.

Goku attacked the youkai head-on. He took out his staff and plunged forward. However, he missed and hit the wall instead. The youkai laughed and, in turn, attacked Goku. Goku dodged from the clawing attack. The youkai leader soon gave up on physical attacks and ran to me to grab my gun while thinking to kill me.

Goku somewhat read his mind and dashed to me. The saru reached me in time before I got clawed by the youkai. Goku was hit instead. Blood was everywhere. Goku screamed in pain as the other youkai clawed him, waking me up. Goku landed on top of me as I screamed. Witnessing my loved one getting killed was too much for me. I held up my gun and shot the youkai in hatred. I then placed Goku on the floor.

I shook the saru awake. Goku opened his eyes weakly and stared into my violet eyes.

'Sanzo... go-gomen n-nasai... I didn't k-keep my promise...' Goku said weakly. He was covered by his own blood. I put I finger on the kid's lips silencing him. I took off my robes, leaving me with my body suit and jeans on, and covered Goku with it. I then moved closer to him and we were face to face, only inches away.

'I will keep my promise to you...,' I said and locked my lips onto his. I savoured his taste and suddenly tasted blood. I knew he was gone, but I stayed in that position until his blood filled my mouth. I covered him with my robes and brought him back to the inn.

~*~*~*~*

'Sanzo, where have you been? Why are you all covered in blood?' Hakkai asked.

'It's none of your business... if you're asking for Goku, he's dead,' I replied emotionless like ever. Hakkai gasped when he heard the word dead. His knees went weak and he fell to the ground with a loud 'thud'. I didn't know it would've affected him that much.

END OF FLASHBACK

            Now Goku's dead, Hakkai won't speak to me until next week. I feel like I want to kill myself...

________________________________________________________________________

SC: I have finished this story so don't ask me to continue... please...

Hakkai: SC has been tortured by her teacher and now she is having difficulty with her studies. Don't ask her for more. Thank you.