DISCLAIMER: See statements in last chapter.
WARNINGS: See statements in last chapter.
SUMMARY: See above statements.
Chapter III: He did WHAT?
~~~~SETO POV~~~~
"Freeze!" I dropped a lava lamp as a security guard rushed in, cursing as it landed on my already broken toes. "Don't move!"
Yami looked up from the busted jewelry case he was about to try to throw, and blinked. Don't even play innocent, "Game King," I thought. You're the one who gave me the juicy!
"What the hell is going on here?" the guard demanded.
"This demented hentai was trying to rape me!" I screamed, waving my hand wildly in the direction of said hentai.
"What? No!" he insisted. "I- I wouldn't!"
"Then why on Earth did you freaking kiss me?" I yelled, stepping up to him and raising my hand to his throat.
"I- it was a dare!"
"And since when does the King of Games take dares, other than for duels?"
"Eh, I can explain dat, Kaiba..." I spun, and found myself face to face with the Chihuahua.
"If you can, you'd better!" I snarled, preparing to deck him.
"I don' think I need to, much. I dared Yami." Something in his eyes told me: "Go along with it."
Yami seemed to notice that, too, and nodded. I sighed, and muttered, "Oh."
"Well, who attacked whom?" the guard asked, rolling his eyes.
"I did, sir. Don't worry, I'll pay for the damage. Send the bill to Kaiba Seto."
"Very well. Now get out of here!"
As we exited, Yami groaning and me limping, Jounouchi began to laugh. "I know you didn't dare him, Mutt. What's going on?"
"Eheh, well, I'm not really supposed ta tell."
"Yeah, well, supposed to and going to are two very different concepts." I didn't have the patience to deal with these baka. "If it wasn't a dare, then why the damn hell did he kiss me?"
"Well, that's a good question. Let me get Yugi. He should explain it, and he owes me, big," the Game King interfered. I scoffed.
"Why would you need that pipsqueak to explain anything? Why would he know why you freaking kissed me?"
"Let me get him and he'll explain. He was right in-" He stopped, his eyes darting around. "Uh, key word: 'was.' Where did he go?" The hedgehog-head began to randomly bolt around the mall, uncertain of which direction he should go.
"Las' I saw him was at da food court," Jounouchi called, trying to get his panicking friend's attention. Yami blinked, and blazed off in the wrong direction.
"It's downstairs, baka!" I shouted, losing even more patience. "By the arcade!"
He screeched to a halt, and started running down the escalator- well, he tried to run. The idiot was on the wrong one! His foot caught on the moving stairs, sending him flying into a group of shoppers. "Gomen nasai!!!" he hollered, clobbering even more people. I followed the Puppy onto the correct escalator, feeling an incredible craving for a nice hot cup of tea.
What did I do to deserve this? I whined, regretting the fact that Mokuba had wheedled me into taking him here. He was in the arcade, and here I was, following around some psychotic moron with a crappy sense of direction. Well, at least at the food court I'll be able to get a drink.
When we got to the bottom, Yami was struggling to pull himself out of the fountain. Jounouchi gave him a hand. "Arigatou, Jou-kun," the King of Games murmured, stumbling to his feet with a blank look on his face.
"Anoo, maybe ya oughta sit down for a bit, man!"
"No, I'll be fine, Jounouchi. I've just got to find Yugi." The Mongrel shrugged, and pointed.
"The food court's over dere. Yug' was at da Starbuck's."
We split up, searching the area. I looked at the burger joints, the pretzel stand, the Orange Julius- whatever that is, Mokuba likes them- the cookie shop, grabbed a Pepsi at a vending machine, and then I found him. Near the sub shop, he was backed into a wall by someone I had hoped to never see again.
Anzu. Mazaki Anzu. The preppiest whore in school, with all of her baka "friendship" rants. Anzu, laying a big fat juicy on Yugi, who was struggling desperately and spluttering ridiculously. I couldn't help feeling sorry for the boy. "Hey, let him go!"
She stopped, blinking, and Yugi took in a great gasp of air, still writhing anxiously. "What? Why should I, Kaiba? What does this have to do with you?"
"Nothing! I just need to talk to him, and I can't do that if you asphyxiate him."
"Talk to him? Since when do you care? I didn't think you could!" Oh, no, not a friendship lecture!
"Shut up, slut. I don't. I just need to find out something." Yugi, having caught his breath by now, interrupted.
"Anzu, please. One, you're suffocating me! And two, Kaiba's right. I've gotta tell him something." She glared down at him, but sighed in frustration and dropped him. He rubbed his ribs where her arms had been constricting him, and walked towards me. "Arigatou," he muttered, wiping his mouth free of her slobber.
"No problem. I wanted to save some people their appetites."
"Yeah, gross, huh?" I nodded.
"Yeah. But about unwanted kisses..."
"Kaiba, you're going to keep your mouth shut about this." I blinked.
"Huh? Of course I am! I'm not going to blow my reputation!"
"No. You are not going to tell anyone what I am about to tell you." Nervously, I chuckled. Was it just me, or did Yugi just give an order?
"Anoo, okay," I cautiously replied.
"I made Yami kiss you so you'd pay him to stop. I wanted the money to buy a really killer collar. You didn't pay him, though, you pummeled him. So I had a backup plan. I bribed Bakura to steal it for me."
I bolted, about to scream for the Game King, when Yugi called my name. "Kaiba!" I froze.
"What? Yami needs to know about this!"
"Nope. I said you won't tell anyone." Uh-oh. What was Yugi planning?
A smug grin mocked me, and he pulled something out of his pocket. A photo- of the King of Games, slobbering all over me! "WHAT?" I screamed.
"And I have copies! So keep your trap shut, or I'll stick this in everyone's locker!"
I began to tremble violently, and I fell to my knees. Yugi had me trapped. I would kiss Yugi himself in public if he told me to, just to keep that from being seen.
"Are we going to be silent?" I nodded, nearly crying. "Good." He started to walk away, and I followed him, to meet up with the others.
"Aibou! Where the hell have you been?" Yami grabbed the smaller boy by the shoulders.
"Anzu had me trapped! Kaiba saved me!" Yugi's eyes were wide and innocent, and showed none of the devious cruelty they had.
"And Yugi explained about the attempt to get money. No further explanation is needed."
"Okay. Yugi, I think we've had enough 'fun' for one day. We should go home." Yugi nodded.
"Well, sayonara!" Jounouchi shouted after them.
"Ugh. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for someone who's feeling neurotic, would you?" I asked, kneading my tense neck.
"WHAT?" he yelled. It might have been the light, but I swore his face turned red.
"I'm feeling insane! You don't have a cure, do you?" I demanded, speaking louder.
"Oh! Neurotic!"
"That's what I said! What did you think it was?" Okay! I knew his face was red.
"Eh, nothing. Nothing relevant." Yup. The Puppy was blushing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: Yugi's getting VERY OOC! MWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! First blackmailing Yami, then bribing Bakura, then blackmailing Seto! NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE! You know the drill! REVIEW, SHIMATTA!
WARNINGS: See statements in last chapter.
SUMMARY: See above statements.
Chapter III: He did WHAT?
~~~~SETO POV~~~~
"Freeze!" I dropped a lava lamp as a security guard rushed in, cursing as it landed on my already broken toes. "Don't move!"
Yami looked up from the busted jewelry case he was about to try to throw, and blinked. Don't even play innocent, "Game King," I thought. You're the one who gave me the juicy!
"What the hell is going on here?" the guard demanded.
"This demented hentai was trying to rape me!" I screamed, waving my hand wildly in the direction of said hentai.
"What? No!" he insisted. "I- I wouldn't!"
"Then why on Earth did you freaking kiss me?" I yelled, stepping up to him and raising my hand to his throat.
"I- it was a dare!"
"And since when does the King of Games take dares, other than for duels?"
"Eh, I can explain dat, Kaiba..." I spun, and found myself face to face with the Chihuahua.
"If you can, you'd better!" I snarled, preparing to deck him.
"I don' think I need to, much. I dared Yami." Something in his eyes told me: "Go along with it."
Yami seemed to notice that, too, and nodded. I sighed, and muttered, "Oh."
"Well, who attacked whom?" the guard asked, rolling his eyes.
"I did, sir. Don't worry, I'll pay for the damage. Send the bill to Kaiba Seto."
"Very well. Now get out of here!"
As we exited, Yami groaning and me limping, Jounouchi began to laugh. "I know you didn't dare him, Mutt. What's going on?"
"Eheh, well, I'm not really supposed ta tell."
"Yeah, well, supposed to and going to are two very different concepts." I didn't have the patience to deal with these baka. "If it wasn't a dare, then why the damn hell did he kiss me?"
"Well, that's a good question. Let me get Yugi. He should explain it, and he owes me, big," the Game King interfered. I scoffed.
"Why would you need that pipsqueak to explain anything? Why would he know why you freaking kissed me?"
"Let me get him and he'll explain. He was right in-" He stopped, his eyes darting around. "Uh, key word: 'was.' Where did he go?" The hedgehog-head began to randomly bolt around the mall, uncertain of which direction he should go.
"Las' I saw him was at da food court," Jounouchi called, trying to get his panicking friend's attention. Yami blinked, and blazed off in the wrong direction.
"It's downstairs, baka!" I shouted, losing even more patience. "By the arcade!"
He screeched to a halt, and started running down the escalator- well, he tried to run. The idiot was on the wrong one! His foot caught on the moving stairs, sending him flying into a group of shoppers. "Gomen nasai!!!" he hollered, clobbering even more people. I followed the Puppy onto the correct escalator, feeling an incredible craving for a nice hot cup of tea.
What did I do to deserve this? I whined, regretting the fact that Mokuba had wheedled me into taking him here. He was in the arcade, and here I was, following around some psychotic moron with a crappy sense of direction. Well, at least at the food court I'll be able to get a drink.
When we got to the bottom, Yami was struggling to pull himself out of the fountain. Jounouchi gave him a hand. "Arigatou, Jou-kun," the King of Games murmured, stumbling to his feet with a blank look on his face.
"Anoo, maybe ya oughta sit down for a bit, man!"
"No, I'll be fine, Jounouchi. I've just got to find Yugi." The Mongrel shrugged, and pointed.
"The food court's over dere. Yug' was at da Starbuck's."
We split up, searching the area. I looked at the burger joints, the pretzel stand, the Orange Julius- whatever that is, Mokuba likes them- the cookie shop, grabbed a Pepsi at a vending machine, and then I found him. Near the sub shop, he was backed into a wall by someone I had hoped to never see again.
Anzu. Mazaki Anzu. The preppiest whore in school, with all of her baka "friendship" rants. Anzu, laying a big fat juicy on Yugi, who was struggling desperately and spluttering ridiculously. I couldn't help feeling sorry for the boy. "Hey, let him go!"
She stopped, blinking, and Yugi took in a great gasp of air, still writhing anxiously. "What? Why should I, Kaiba? What does this have to do with you?"
"Nothing! I just need to talk to him, and I can't do that if you asphyxiate him."
"Talk to him? Since when do you care? I didn't think you could!" Oh, no, not a friendship lecture!
"Shut up, slut. I don't. I just need to find out something." Yugi, having caught his breath by now, interrupted.
"Anzu, please. One, you're suffocating me! And two, Kaiba's right. I've gotta tell him something." She glared down at him, but sighed in frustration and dropped him. He rubbed his ribs where her arms had been constricting him, and walked towards me. "Arigatou," he muttered, wiping his mouth free of her slobber.
"No problem. I wanted to save some people their appetites."
"Yeah, gross, huh?" I nodded.
"Yeah. But about unwanted kisses..."
"Kaiba, you're going to keep your mouth shut about this." I blinked.
"Huh? Of course I am! I'm not going to blow my reputation!"
"No. You are not going to tell anyone what I am about to tell you." Nervously, I chuckled. Was it just me, or did Yugi just give an order?
"Anoo, okay," I cautiously replied.
"I made Yami kiss you so you'd pay him to stop. I wanted the money to buy a really killer collar. You didn't pay him, though, you pummeled him. So I had a backup plan. I bribed Bakura to steal it for me."
I bolted, about to scream for the Game King, when Yugi called my name. "Kaiba!" I froze.
"What? Yami needs to know about this!"
"Nope. I said you won't tell anyone." Uh-oh. What was Yugi planning?
A smug grin mocked me, and he pulled something out of his pocket. A photo- of the King of Games, slobbering all over me! "WHAT?" I screamed.
"And I have copies! So keep your trap shut, or I'll stick this in everyone's locker!"
I began to tremble violently, and I fell to my knees. Yugi had me trapped. I would kiss Yugi himself in public if he told me to, just to keep that from being seen.
"Are we going to be silent?" I nodded, nearly crying. "Good." He started to walk away, and I followed him, to meet up with the others.
"Aibou! Where the hell have you been?" Yami grabbed the smaller boy by the shoulders.
"Anzu had me trapped! Kaiba saved me!" Yugi's eyes were wide and innocent, and showed none of the devious cruelty they had.
"And Yugi explained about the attempt to get money. No further explanation is needed."
"Okay. Yugi, I think we've had enough 'fun' for one day. We should go home." Yugi nodded.
"Well, sayonara!" Jounouchi shouted after them.
"Ugh. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for someone who's feeling neurotic, would you?" I asked, kneading my tense neck.
"WHAT?" he yelled. It might have been the light, but I swore his face turned red.
"I'm feeling insane! You don't have a cure, do you?" I demanded, speaking louder.
"Oh! Neurotic!"
"That's what I said! What did you think it was?" Okay! I knew his face was red.
"Eh, nothing. Nothing relevant." Yup. The Puppy was blushing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: Yugi's getting VERY OOC! MWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! First blackmailing Yami, then bribing Bakura, then blackmailing Seto! NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE! You know the drill! REVIEW, SHIMATTA!