DISCLAIMER: Duh.
WARNINGS: This one has a bit of citric content, but it's not even limey. I'd call it an O.J. It has some implications. But, there is some serious injury occurring.
SUMMARY: This one's not very humor oriented, especially later on. It gets really angsty, but lightens up in the end.
Chapter IV: Screwed!
~~~~RYOU POV~~~~
I had an odd weekend. I didn't really know what to make of my yami's bizarre behavior. Oh, no, it wasn't frightening, not actively threatening, but I was still nervous. And, well, I must admit, just a tad- oh, how to say it- jealous. Yes, I, Bakura Ryou, jealous over my yami. Perhaps it was the fact that he was actually smiling- well, smiling one second, smirking the next- and it wasn't me making him. Maybe because he spent even more time in my room (with me locked out, as always), seeming to be plotting. Or, just maybe, it had something to do with his speech. "Yugi is Ra! Oh, yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Oh, I didn't think the Pharaoh's hikari would even be good for anything! Heeheeheehee..."
Yes, my yami was giggling. Giggling! If I were to bring it up, I would probably get pounded. And I didn't really care. It's not like I'm not used to it. But still, why bother if I'm not going to get a real answer? Getting my arse kicked with no gain was not my idea of fun. However, I couldn't help feeling a little left out.
Well, as I said, my weekend was odd. Bakura-sama not pulverizing me? Bakura-sama GIGGLING? Something was dead wrong, and I was determined to find out what. So, I decided to start at school. Monday morning. First period. The perfect time to speak with Yugi. So I packed my school case and headed out the door.
"Ne, Yugi?" I asked as I took my seat.
"Hai?"
"I was just wondering..." I drifted off, hoping that he would understand that my quiet tone meant I wanted him to listen closely. He nodded his encouragement, and I continued, little more than a whisper. "Why- why was Bakura-sama shouting you were Ra all weekend? I know you were at the mall when he was, and, well, he's been practically singing hymns of praise to you! You- you didn't, you know, LAY him, did you?"
I was highly relieved at the sight of Yugi's face: It turned green. "Anoo, NANI?" His violet eyes bugged. "You didn't just ask what I think you asked, okay? Gods! Me? With HIM? Damn bloody freakin' stinkin' piece of crap HELL NO!"
Yugi's voice was just a bit louder than I'd have liked. And by that I mean the entire class was now staring at us. Including the sensei.
"Mutou-san!" she glared. "And Bakura-san! Him, I could expect, but you? You're usually such a quiet boy!"
"Just for the record, Ryou wasn't being loud, Kitayaki-sensei," This, from Anzu? Why was she defending me?
"Well, I can't let one person in a conversation be loud without consequences for both. And besides: If Bakura-san had done nothing to merit discipline, Mutou-san would not have sworn like that."
I grumbled as she handed me a detention slip. Giving Yugi a death glare, I stuffed the scrap into my pocket, AKA the black hole of stuff. You think Jonouchi or Honda's organizational habits are bad? When you've dealt with my yami as long as I, you sort of drop any order you have in your life. I knew I would never see that damn little piece of trash again. I put my head on the desk, and let myself fall asleep.
/Hikari!/ I groaned. /HIKARI!!! WAKE UP, BAKA!!!/
/Just five more minutes, mama./ I wasn't getting up any time soon.
Correction! I was up! I was UP! Up... and running like a racehorse to my next class. /Damn bloody baka bell!/
/It got you up, didn't it? After this class, let me talk to the Pharaoh's hikari. Oh, and by the way. IF YOU EVER THINK I'M SLEEPING WITH ANYONE WITHOUT PROOF, I SWEAR TO RA I'LL EITHER ANNIHILATE YOU OR SCREW YOU!!!/ I held a hand to my forehead, dazed by the volume of my yami's mindvoice.
/Itai!/
/Oh, GOMEN!/ His voice was dripping, no, SLOBBERING, sarcasm. /So sorry to have hurt your girly little head!/
/Girly? Who the **** are you calling girly?!?!?!?!?!/
/Well, THAT's a word I didn't know you knew!/
/Shove it. You gave me a damn migraine./
/You ARE a damn migraine!/
After another class (that I called Advanced Screwy Sleep Habits), I met Yugi outside of the school library.
"Thanks so much. Now I've got a damn detention! And a damn migraine!"
/Hey, that was MY FAULT, REMEMBER?/
/Shut up, Bakura-sama!/
"Sorry. Hey, could I talk to the spirit of the Ring?" I sighed and nodded.
/You're on./
/Duh./
After what seemed to be about the lunch period, I heard my yami cussing up a storm outside of my Soul Room. Cautiously, I peeked out. "Bakura-sama?"
He glared at me. "THAT DAMN LITTLE PATHETIC NO-GOOD PHARAOH'S HIKARI SCREWED ME!"
I gasped. "WHAT? #%^@&@%^@%@*^$%&!"
He looked at me funny. "What?"
"Okay. NOW I THINK YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE!!!"
"What? What in Seth's name are you babbling about?" His fiery crimson eyes held a great amount of confusion. "What damn evidence have you?"
"Moshi moshi, Bakura-sama! YOU JUST SAID YUGI SCREWED YOU!"
He blinked, and I saw genuine blankness, until his face abruptly contorted into a grimace of disgust. "You sick little hentai no baka! Why the hell would I be in bed with THAT little freak? At least YOU have hair that looks possible! At least YOU look like you're old enough to screw! And besides, do you seriously think I would risk getting my arse sent to the Shadow Realm by the Pharaoh? He would annihilate me before I even got turned on!" He stopped ranting, and leaned against the dark wall of our mind-corridor. "Oy! What the hell has gotten into you, hikari? Reading too much fanfics? Or is it that you're watching too many damn chick flicks?"
"Bakura-sama! You know I hate chick flicks! Too many straight people!" Oops. Eheh, didn't mean to blurt that out.
He raised an eyebrow. Crap. Ohcrapocrapocrap! I was as good as dead! No way Bakura would want a "pansy" for a hikari! But, to my surprise, he said nothing of it. Instead, he grinned. "Well, then, what sort of films DO you like?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. Horror, sci-fi, alien flicks, funny stuff-"
"Like Adam Sandler?"
"Eh, I prefer Robin Williams, or Jackie Chan. Some Jim Carrey, but I DID like Sandler's _Little Nicky_."
He burst into laughter. "Now THAT was a good one. Heh, devil and angel. Neat concept."
I found myself blushing slightly. Devil and angel? For an odd reason, it reminded me of Bakura-sama and I. 'No! Don't even think like that! HE'll hear you!'
But he didn't even notice. 'Gods! He's about as smart as a rock!' Uh-oh! THIS, he noticed!
"WHAT? Smart as a rock? How dare you, you little punk!" He scrambled after me, but I got into my Soul Room and locked the door behind me. He pounded on it, but I knew I was safe. He had never penetrated that door, but I wasn't certain why. Was he not powerful enough? Or did he just not care to, for reasons of his own? Hm. Something to consider. But very, VERY carefully.
His noise died down, and I heard one final shout. "WHATEVER! Like I give a damn!" He seemed to be calmer. I hoped so. Bakura-sama plus anger equals VERY HURT ME! But I waited a few minutes before emerging. I hoped that we were somewhere that we could be in our Soul Rooms without "normal" people getting weirded out. As I left, I peered around. He was nowhere in sight. So I just decided to hang out in the hall. I COULD stay in my room, but I really didn't want to. It was nice, yes. All warm with deep colors- crimson, hunter green, midnight, royal purple, mahogany, black, comfortable, soothing colors. But if my yami returned, I wanted to be ready, so I kept watch. I sat down with my back to the wall, lacing my fingers at the back of my neck. Without being beaten for a good two days, my muscles were far less sore than usual, so I ended up relaxing more than I'd intended. My last thought before dozing off was, 'Damn, I've been _smart._ Oh, yes, yes, yes. Maybe I should just kiss him and be done with it, the way I've been so close to giving it away! I- I can't believe he hasn't n-noticed...'
I gave a yawn as I began to wake up, sensing a presence nearby. My eyes slowly, lazily fluttered open, and the first thing I saw was Bakura-sama. No, scratch that: Bakura-sama ASLEEP! Asleep, across the hall from me. My first thought was 'Oh, crap! Are we somewhere that we CAN sleep? I looked at my watch (yes, I have a watch in spirit form), and it said 4:30. Good. We were home. We could take a nap. But why did my yami choose to sleep in our mind-hall? He could have left the Ring, or gone into his Soul Room. And he usually avoids me. But I couldn't help gazing at him. Never before had I been able to see him asleep, and I was somewhat startled. He would always go into his Soul Room, or make me sleep on the couch (with him in my bedroom). Once he even made me sleep outside! It was raining, but it was in the middle of summer, so it was pretty comfortable even though I was drenched. But never before had he slept near me, and I was dumbstruck. He looked so gentle asleep, as though his eyes had never held that strict angularity, that harsh sharpness. I found myself smiling lightly. He looked so cute. I was truly glad that he had fallen asleep. But it made my life a bit harder. Made me fall even more in love. Crap. NOW how was I going to hide it? I was as good as dead! The only way I'd be safe was if I somehow managed to seduce him. Wha-? Why did I even think I'd have a chance of doing that? Ninety-nine point nine repeating percent of a chance of getting killed! Then, about a half of what remained would be the chance of him leaving. Then, half of THAT was for him just laughing. Then, half of THAT, the "No, let's just be friends," thing. Then, half of THAT was, oh, Gods,why the hell am I trying to put this into mathematical probability? Oy, I'd just restart my migraine.
As I yawned again, I realized that I was staring at him. I couldn't tear my eyes away. He was ADORABLE! His wild hair, flopping in one direction, standing straight up in another. His pale skin, so smooth and soft seeming. His face, so relaxed, so peaceful. He looked like an angel, but I knew that he was really not innocent enough to be. Duh. But, was I? My choice of words, sometimes, didn't seem it. My choice of reading? Eheh, *cough*lemons*cough.* I wondered, vaguely, what Bakura-sama would think of me, if he knew. If he knew I SO had the hots for him. If he knew that I, currently, wanted to just screw his brains out. Oh, crap! OH, SHIT! No, nonononononono! *Cough*don'teventhinkaboutit*cough!* BAKURA RYOU, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF YOUR BLOODY PANTS! Oh, I was so DEAD!
I heard a quiet groan, and I blushed hotly. Oh, crap. I was dead, I was screwed! (Uh, just a note. I WISHED!) I could kiss my ass goodbye (even though I wasn't the one I wanted to kiss it!). My face got more red by the second. Cautiously, I peeked at Bakura-sama. He was trying to crack his neck. By the grimace I saw, he seemed to be failing miserably. Without thinking, I scooted over to him. Wrapping one arm around his shoulders, I used my other hand to lightly squeeze the nape of his neck, hoping to release the knot I could tell was in his muscles. He made no move to resist, so I continued, beginning to knead his back. Mm, strong. Oh, this was SUCH a bad idea. Great. I was turned on and trying to hide it, what do I do? Get REALLY close to him and give him a massage. Brilliant. Yeah, touching your crush will REALLY get rid of your *cough* more intimate feelings. But I couldn't pull away, this might be my only chance to be this close. He squirmed a little, and I heard popping in his neck. Ah, good. I got him to be able to. Okay, pull away, Ryou! You did what you came over to! You don't need to keep stroking his back! Oh, but he was so WARM.
I found my lip trembling as my hands began to commit mutiny. No, baka! Stop, before he notices! Before he KILLS YOU! But I couldn't stop. And, oddly enough, he DIDN'T seem to care, or notice, or whatever. I suddenly ran my fingers through his hair, and was shocked at how soft it was. Even softer than I could have imagined. I heard a loud moan, though. Bakura-sama MOANED? At MY touch? He was ENJOYING it? Oh, how I HAD to pull him even closer, into my lap. My hands roamed into his shirt, and I started to tickle him. He gasped, and shuddered. I blushed more than ever, and then grew pale at the sight of his face. The eyes held a sharp cruelty, and I quickly drew away.
"Oh. So THAT's what's got you thinking so much about me screwing people. Heh, never figured YOU for the horny type." As soon as he shifted position slightly, I scrambled out from underneath him, backing away. Turning my back to him, I rushed into my Soul Room, shaking and feeling like I should cry. I buried my face in my hands, sore from trying to resist. I collapsed onto the carpet, curling into a fetal position as I panted and shivered. 'Oh, no.'
I was startled out of what little wits I had left by a light, sharp tapping. Tapping? Who would tap? Bakura-sama always banged on my door, never tapped. Oh, what did it matter? I couldn't come out. Either my yami would break my heart, or he would beat the stuffing out of me, or both. I couldn't-
"Hikari?" What? Was that Bakura-sama's voice? No, impossible. It was too gentle. Too soft. He would never let ME speak like that, let alone use that tone with me. But who else would it be?
"Hikari, open this door."
"Why? Why should I?"
"Because I want to speak with you, damnit!" THAT sounded more like him.
"Why? How do I know you're not going to horribly maim me, or worse?"
"Damnit, hikari, I'm a madman, not a sadist! I'm a thief, not a damn necrophile!"
I could hardly hear that statement, for it was whispered. Whispered? Why not shouted?
"Hikari, open this door, now. And please, come out here. Or let me in. Please." I was stunned. He said "please?" Twice? What was this, some sort of trick? Or was he sincere? Cautiously, I rose and cracked the door, expecting him to shove it open once it was no longer locked. Instead, I saw him leaning on the wall next to it, his eyes closed.
"Bakura-sama?" I murmured, keeping my eyes downcast.
"Hikari, what the hell is with you?" It was not a demand, just a request. Spoken just as gently as mine.
"Nani?"
"You know what I mean. You're acting as unstable as a manic-depressive female on PMS. One minute you're scratching my back, the next you're cowering as though you expect me to kill you."
I grew even more speechless. His tone was low, but not threatening. I couldn't respond.
"Do you fear that? Do you fear that I will kill you?"
I found my voice, although it was very hoarse and timid. "Can- can you blame me?"
He sighed, and replied, "No, I- I suppose not. I- I'm sorry. I should have just left you alone." He pushed away from the wall, and I heard his Soul Room door creak. "I- I'm sorry," he whispered, and I heard a click as the door shut.
I turned away, lightly closing my own door, but not letting it shut completely. Stumbling over to my bed, I slowly sat, clutching the pillow to my chest and beginning to weep.
I awoke from my troubled sleep to a loud creak. I bolted up and to my Soul Room's door, throwing it open and quickly searching the hall. "Bakura-sama?" I gasped as I saw him disappear. So he went out of the Ring. Either into my body, or into his own. I decided to try to get into my body, and I did. He was walking down the stairs as I staggered out of my room. "Bakura-sama! Wait!"
He froze. "Hikari, I think I should go."
"What? Go? Go where?"
"I don't know. I just don't think I should stay. I- I think you'd be better off."
Better off? Since when did my yami care about my well being? "Ba- Bakura-sama! Wait! No!"
He turned to me, and I saw his eyes, normally so hard, sagging. And were they- sorrowful? "Ryou, I don't want to make you feel like I'm going to kill you. I never wanted that. I- I just wanted to make you strong. I just wanted to give you strength, and I failed. I didn't give you any, but I can't stay. If you can't be strong, at least I can."
He called me Ryou. Never before had he acknowledged my given name. But I didn't understand. "What? Wha- what do you mean, Bakura-sama?"
He turned away again. "I won't let myself become weak. I'm sorry, but I can't handle that."
"What's making you weak? I don't see you as weak! I NEVER could!"
He hung his head. "Then you don't quite get it. It's you, Ryou. You make me weak."
I gasped. I did? "But, how, Bakura-sama?"
He sighed. "Because I can't control myself around you. Because I can't stop hurting you, because I can't stop being hurt by you." His voice was shaking, and I was pierced to the core by his words. "I- I don't mean that you do it on purpose. Anything but. Ryou, I'm hurt because I'm afraid. Not of YOU, not of you being harmful to me. In truth, I'd prefer that, for then, I wouldn't feel the guilt I do. Damn you, Ryou, you pathetic excuse for a hikari! Damn you! You don't even know how bad it hurts, to be afraid of your own feelings, because you can't understand them! And when I try to, it just confuses me more. You know how I am! I can't take it, if I don't know what the hell's going on! I get angry, I go insane. That much, you know. But I could handle it, if I could just punch you and get it over with. Damn you! Damn you, you little pain in the ass! If I could just hit you once! But that's my damn problem! I can't! You just HAVE to be so damn cute! You HAVE to have those Ra-damned melty eyes that just seem to mirror your pain, right back at me! You just HAVE to have that beautiful skin, that it makes me feel like shit whenever I ruin it! You just HAVE to be linked to me, so I can feel the hell I put you through as though it were my own! Ra, Set, Osiris, Aset, Bastet, Anpu, Sekhmet, Ma'at, Horus, Nut, Hathor, Geb, Amon, AAH! Why the hell do I have to feel all of your pain! I hate being hurt, and it just makes me more mad! And then I hurt you more, and, oh, AAH! I hate it, and then I hate you, but I realize that's not right, 'cause then why the hell would I care if I hurt you? Then I realize that it's not YOU I hate, but my own damn baka self! I realize that I'm hurting my own damn self, and that just pisses me off more, and AAH! Why the hell do I love you SO DAMN MUCH?"
My eyes were wide, and I was trembling with conflicting emotions. He was, too, and glaring. My jaw slowly fell open as his words registered. He- he loved me? I felt tears streak down my face, and I looked away. He groaned, and sat down a few steps below me, his shoulders drooping. "Ryou, I think it would be better if I left. Safer, for you."
"No!" I sobbed. "Bakura-sama, my yami, I- I don't know what I'd do without you! Please, don't! I- I'm sorry!"
"Sorry? Why the hell are you apologizing? You haven't done anything! Damnit! Damn it all! Oh, Ra! Please don't even THINK of apologizing! Damnit, Ryou, it's all my damn fault! If- if I wasn't such a baka, I'd be able to stay! But I can't take it! Gods! Half the time, I want to freakin' kill you, the other, I want to kiss you! And the only reason I want to kill you is 'cause I don't know what the hell's happening to me! You damn little hikari! Why the hell do you have to be so damn beautiful? Why do you have to be so sweet, so gentle? Why do you have to make me want you so bad? WHY CAN'T I HATE YOU?" He stood, screaming these words, and I felt my soul being shredded as his crimson eyes met mine. My heart was broken as I saw that they were filled with tears. "Why can't I shut the hell up? Why do I keep on spouting mush that's just making us both cry? Why do you have to cry with me? Why do I cry worse the more I see you cry? What the hell are you? You've got me enslaved so badly, and that's exactly what I'm afraid of! I HATE this! Why the hell are you crying, you pathetic little- ! Stop it! You're just- leave me alone! Let me leave in peace! I- I- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
I stepped back as he screamed in pain, clawing at his own face. "Bakura-sama! No, no!" I reached for him, but he swatted my hand away, howling and whimpering. "Bakura-sama, no, please!" I begged as he began to gnaw at his wrist, hysterically giggling and sobbing.
Desperate, I grabbed his hands, holding them with one hand. I drew the other back, and firmly slapped him. He stopped, in shock, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, heaving him up the stairs. Carrying him into the bathroom, I held him in my lap as I began to run the hot water. Carefully, I pulled off his shirt, stroking his chest soothingly, murmuring reassuringly in his ear. "Bakura-sama, ssh. Ssh. It's okay, it's okay. Rest, now, rest." Stripping him to his shorts, I felt the water. Good. It was plenty warm. I let the tub fill, and as I did so, wiped his wounds clean with some tissue and peroxide. They were pretty deep. They would need more than home care. Or would they? Bakura-sama would often, if he injured me badly, use his powers to heal me. Could I do the same? I was determined to try.
I placed my hands on his face, not heeding the blood running down my arms, and began to focus. I closed my eyes, using my fingers to see the gashes, hoping that my touch didn't hurt him more. Gathering energy, I projected it into him. I felt the wounds seal, heal. Even the blood disappeared. Opening my eyes, I saw that I had healed his arm, as well. Good. Now to help heal his spirit. The tub was full, so I carefully turned, and lowered him into the hot water. Trickling it over his face with my hands, I stroked his cheek, now smooth once more. A tear made it's way down my face, dripped onto his. His eyes, which had been frozen wide open, blinked and grew even wider. They met mine, for an instant, before he squeezed them shut. "Bakura-sama," I whispered softly, bringing my face closer to his. I lightly pressed my lips to his cheek, and continued. "Bakura-sama, ssh. It's okay, I'm right here. I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm here for you."
I stroked his chest, more, and was startled at his response. Slowly, almost as though he were afraid to (and he may well have been), he raised his hand to meet mine, holding it to his heart. Sobbing, he encouraged me to keep kneading. Very willingly, I obliged. Reaching behind his ear with my free hand, I began to scratch behind it. With a slight moan, he nuzzled at my fingers. "Oh, Ryou!" he whispered, quivering. He brought my hand to his lips, and I was overjoyed when he kissed my fingers. Impulsively, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Oops. I promptly got drenched. My shirt. Oops. I chuckled nervously, and my yami chuckled in amusement. "Well, you've done it now!"
"Hai!" I began to giggle as I blushed. His chuckle grew into a bit of a snicker, and I looked into his deep ruby eyes. Uh-oh. Mischief. Oh, NO!
I gasped as he grabbed my shoulders, dragging me in. Squirming and splashing around, I was very grateful we had a large tub. My yami was fully laughing now, as I floundered around. I had no intention of getting out, for I was already as wet as possible, but it would be nice if I could get my legs untangled. Grr, damn jeans! Wet denim is SO hard to move in! Finally, I managed to get sitting on my butt, and shook my head in disbelief. Hard to believe that only five minutes ago, I was crying my eyes out. Now, I was absolutely SOAKED! "You know, Bakura-sama, I'm going to GET YOU FOR THAT!"
"I'm sure. But not right now."
"Huh? Why not?"
"'Cause you're gonna be busy being held," he murmured, wrapping his long arms around me. I was dumbstruck, lovestruck, starstruck, etc. He pulled me to him, and nuzzled my ear. "Mm. You're comfy."
I blushed. "So are you," I whispered.
"Ryou-chan?"
I leaned back, snuggling. "Yes?"
"Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything you've done for me. And, well, I'm sorry, my little hikari. I really blew it."
"No, I don't see anything blown." He got the strangest look in his eyes, and I suddenly got some very pleasant chills.
"Well, my little hikari," he hissed, slipping his hand into my soaked t-shirt, "how about we see what we can _do_ about that?" He laughed diabolically, and I abruptly began to feel VERY warm. Damn wet denim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: O.O Whoa. That got WAY LONGER and quite a bit more angsty than I expected. Was it nice and fluffy later on, or did you hate it? Did I make anyone very OOC (besides, Yugi, duh)?
Oh, by the way. The teacher's name? TOTALLY MADE UP!!! I don't know a whole lot of Japanese. So if it really means something, it is ACCIDENTAL!!! Oh, by the way, if anyone can tell me what they actually KNOW about Marik/Malik and Isis/Ishizu besides what the WB has shown, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to use them in a fic until I know more about them. And, HOW IS MARIK/MALIK's NAME SAID IN THE ORIGINAL NON-DUB? MAH-reek, Mah-REEK, MAH-leek, or Mah-LEEK? Or is it something else? And what of his yami? And what the hell does "tauk" mean? I know it can't be in Japanese. Is it in the language of Kemet? I WILL NEVER CALL IT ANCIENT EGYPT UNLESS I AM SPEAKING TO TOTAL MORONS! They didn't call it "Egypt," that was the Greek name for their land. Kemet meant "black," and referred to the dark soils brought by the Nile's floods. And they definitely didn't call it "Ancient," for to them, it was their own time!
Oops. I started to ramble there. Uh, back to the important stuff. About the Ishtars, I want actual FACTS, people. So, if you're not sure, or if you heard it from an unofficial source, please don't clutter my reviews. I would like to have some reviews, though. So, please? Flames will be converted into pure light energy and fed to some plants.
WARNINGS: This one has a bit of citric content, but it's not even limey. I'd call it an O.J. It has some implications. But, there is some serious injury occurring.
SUMMARY: This one's not very humor oriented, especially later on. It gets really angsty, but lightens up in the end.
Chapter IV: Screwed!
~~~~RYOU POV~~~~
I had an odd weekend. I didn't really know what to make of my yami's bizarre behavior. Oh, no, it wasn't frightening, not actively threatening, but I was still nervous. And, well, I must admit, just a tad- oh, how to say it- jealous. Yes, I, Bakura Ryou, jealous over my yami. Perhaps it was the fact that he was actually smiling- well, smiling one second, smirking the next- and it wasn't me making him. Maybe because he spent even more time in my room (with me locked out, as always), seeming to be plotting. Or, just maybe, it had something to do with his speech. "Yugi is Ra! Oh, yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! Oh, I didn't think the Pharaoh's hikari would even be good for anything! Heeheeheehee..."
Yes, my yami was giggling. Giggling! If I were to bring it up, I would probably get pounded. And I didn't really care. It's not like I'm not used to it. But still, why bother if I'm not going to get a real answer? Getting my arse kicked with no gain was not my idea of fun. However, I couldn't help feeling a little left out.
Well, as I said, my weekend was odd. Bakura-sama not pulverizing me? Bakura-sama GIGGLING? Something was dead wrong, and I was determined to find out what. So, I decided to start at school. Monday morning. First period. The perfect time to speak with Yugi. So I packed my school case and headed out the door.
"Ne, Yugi?" I asked as I took my seat.
"Hai?"
"I was just wondering..." I drifted off, hoping that he would understand that my quiet tone meant I wanted him to listen closely. He nodded his encouragement, and I continued, little more than a whisper. "Why- why was Bakura-sama shouting you were Ra all weekend? I know you were at the mall when he was, and, well, he's been practically singing hymns of praise to you! You- you didn't, you know, LAY him, did you?"
I was highly relieved at the sight of Yugi's face: It turned green. "Anoo, NANI?" His violet eyes bugged. "You didn't just ask what I think you asked, okay? Gods! Me? With HIM? Damn bloody freakin' stinkin' piece of crap HELL NO!"
Yugi's voice was just a bit louder than I'd have liked. And by that I mean the entire class was now staring at us. Including the sensei.
"Mutou-san!" she glared. "And Bakura-san! Him, I could expect, but you? You're usually such a quiet boy!"
"Just for the record, Ryou wasn't being loud, Kitayaki-sensei," This, from Anzu? Why was she defending me?
"Well, I can't let one person in a conversation be loud without consequences for both. And besides: If Bakura-san had done nothing to merit discipline, Mutou-san would not have sworn like that."
I grumbled as she handed me a detention slip. Giving Yugi a death glare, I stuffed the scrap into my pocket, AKA the black hole of stuff. You think Jonouchi or Honda's organizational habits are bad? When you've dealt with my yami as long as I, you sort of drop any order you have in your life. I knew I would never see that damn little piece of trash again. I put my head on the desk, and let myself fall asleep.
/Hikari!/ I groaned. /HIKARI!!! WAKE UP, BAKA!!!/
/Just five more minutes, mama./ I wasn't getting up any time soon.
Correction! I was up! I was UP! Up... and running like a racehorse to my next class. /Damn bloody baka bell!/
/It got you up, didn't it? After this class, let me talk to the Pharaoh's hikari. Oh, and by the way. IF YOU EVER THINK I'M SLEEPING WITH ANYONE WITHOUT PROOF, I SWEAR TO RA I'LL EITHER ANNIHILATE YOU OR SCREW YOU!!!/ I held a hand to my forehead, dazed by the volume of my yami's mindvoice.
/Itai!/
/Oh, GOMEN!/ His voice was dripping, no, SLOBBERING, sarcasm. /So sorry to have hurt your girly little head!/
/Girly? Who the **** are you calling girly?!?!?!?!?!/
/Well, THAT's a word I didn't know you knew!/
/Shove it. You gave me a damn migraine./
/You ARE a damn migraine!/
After another class (that I called Advanced Screwy Sleep Habits), I met Yugi outside of the school library.
"Thanks so much. Now I've got a damn detention! And a damn migraine!"
/Hey, that was MY FAULT, REMEMBER?/
/Shut up, Bakura-sama!/
"Sorry. Hey, could I talk to the spirit of the Ring?" I sighed and nodded.
/You're on./
/Duh./
After what seemed to be about the lunch period, I heard my yami cussing up a storm outside of my Soul Room. Cautiously, I peeked out. "Bakura-sama?"
He glared at me. "THAT DAMN LITTLE PATHETIC NO-GOOD PHARAOH'S HIKARI SCREWED ME!"
I gasped. "WHAT? #%^@&@%^@%@*^$%&!"
He looked at me funny. "What?"
"Okay. NOW I THINK YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE!!!"
"What? What in Seth's name are you babbling about?" His fiery crimson eyes held a great amount of confusion. "What damn evidence have you?"
"Moshi moshi, Bakura-sama! YOU JUST SAID YUGI SCREWED YOU!"
He blinked, and I saw genuine blankness, until his face abruptly contorted into a grimace of disgust. "You sick little hentai no baka! Why the hell would I be in bed with THAT little freak? At least YOU have hair that looks possible! At least YOU look like you're old enough to screw! And besides, do you seriously think I would risk getting my arse sent to the Shadow Realm by the Pharaoh? He would annihilate me before I even got turned on!" He stopped ranting, and leaned against the dark wall of our mind-corridor. "Oy! What the hell has gotten into you, hikari? Reading too much fanfics? Or is it that you're watching too many damn chick flicks?"
"Bakura-sama! You know I hate chick flicks! Too many straight people!" Oops. Eheh, didn't mean to blurt that out.
He raised an eyebrow. Crap. Ohcrapocrapocrap! I was as good as dead! No way Bakura would want a "pansy" for a hikari! But, to my surprise, he said nothing of it. Instead, he grinned. "Well, then, what sort of films DO you like?"
I shrugged. "I dunno. Horror, sci-fi, alien flicks, funny stuff-"
"Like Adam Sandler?"
"Eh, I prefer Robin Williams, or Jackie Chan. Some Jim Carrey, but I DID like Sandler's _Little Nicky_."
He burst into laughter. "Now THAT was a good one. Heh, devil and angel. Neat concept."
I found myself blushing slightly. Devil and angel? For an odd reason, it reminded me of Bakura-sama and I. 'No! Don't even think like that! HE'll hear you!'
But he didn't even notice. 'Gods! He's about as smart as a rock!' Uh-oh! THIS, he noticed!
"WHAT? Smart as a rock? How dare you, you little punk!" He scrambled after me, but I got into my Soul Room and locked the door behind me. He pounded on it, but I knew I was safe. He had never penetrated that door, but I wasn't certain why. Was he not powerful enough? Or did he just not care to, for reasons of his own? Hm. Something to consider. But very, VERY carefully.
His noise died down, and I heard one final shout. "WHATEVER! Like I give a damn!" He seemed to be calmer. I hoped so. Bakura-sama plus anger equals VERY HURT ME! But I waited a few minutes before emerging. I hoped that we were somewhere that we could be in our Soul Rooms without "normal" people getting weirded out. As I left, I peered around. He was nowhere in sight. So I just decided to hang out in the hall. I COULD stay in my room, but I really didn't want to. It was nice, yes. All warm with deep colors- crimson, hunter green, midnight, royal purple, mahogany, black, comfortable, soothing colors. But if my yami returned, I wanted to be ready, so I kept watch. I sat down with my back to the wall, lacing my fingers at the back of my neck. Without being beaten for a good two days, my muscles were far less sore than usual, so I ended up relaxing more than I'd intended. My last thought before dozing off was, 'Damn, I've been _smart._ Oh, yes, yes, yes. Maybe I should just kiss him and be done with it, the way I've been so close to giving it away! I- I can't believe he hasn't n-noticed...'
I gave a yawn as I began to wake up, sensing a presence nearby. My eyes slowly, lazily fluttered open, and the first thing I saw was Bakura-sama. No, scratch that: Bakura-sama ASLEEP! Asleep, across the hall from me. My first thought was 'Oh, crap! Are we somewhere that we CAN sleep? I looked at my watch (yes, I have a watch in spirit form), and it said 4:30. Good. We were home. We could take a nap. But why did my yami choose to sleep in our mind-hall? He could have left the Ring, or gone into his Soul Room. And he usually avoids me. But I couldn't help gazing at him. Never before had I been able to see him asleep, and I was somewhat startled. He would always go into his Soul Room, or make me sleep on the couch (with him in my bedroom). Once he even made me sleep outside! It was raining, but it was in the middle of summer, so it was pretty comfortable even though I was drenched. But never before had he slept near me, and I was dumbstruck. He looked so gentle asleep, as though his eyes had never held that strict angularity, that harsh sharpness. I found myself smiling lightly. He looked so cute. I was truly glad that he had fallen asleep. But it made my life a bit harder. Made me fall even more in love. Crap. NOW how was I going to hide it? I was as good as dead! The only way I'd be safe was if I somehow managed to seduce him. Wha-? Why did I even think I'd have a chance of doing that? Ninety-nine point nine repeating percent of a chance of getting killed! Then, about a half of what remained would be the chance of him leaving. Then, half of THAT was for him just laughing. Then, half of THAT, the "No, let's just be friends," thing. Then, half of THAT was, oh, Gods,why the hell am I trying to put this into mathematical probability? Oy, I'd just restart my migraine.
As I yawned again, I realized that I was staring at him. I couldn't tear my eyes away. He was ADORABLE! His wild hair, flopping in one direction, standing straight up in another. His pale skin, so smooth and soft seeming. His face, so relaxed, so peaceful. He looked like an angel, but I knew that he was really not innocent enough to be. Duh. But, was I? My choice of words, sometimes, didn't seem it. My choice of reading? Eheh, *cough*lemons*cough.* I wondered, vaguely, what Bakura-sama would think of me, if he knew. If he knew I SO had the hots for him. If he knew that I, currently, wanted to just screw his brains out. Oh, crap! OH, SHIT! No, nonononononono! *Cough*don'teventhinkaboutit*cough!* BAKURA RYOU, GET YOUR MIND OUT OF YOUR BLOODY PANTS! Oh, I was so DEAD!
I heard a quiet groan, and I blushed hotly. Oh, crap. I was dead, I was screwed! (Uh, just a note. I WISHED!) I could kiss my ass goodbye (even though I wasn't the one I wanted to kiss it!). My face got more red by the second. Cautiously, I peeked at Bakura-sama. He was trying to crack his neck. By the grimace I saw, he seemed to be failing miserably. Without thinking, I scooted over to him. Wrapping one arm around his shoulders, I used my other hand to lightly squeeze the nape of his neck, hoping to release the knot I could tell was in his muscles. He made no move to resist, so I continued, beginning to knead his back. Mm, strong. Oh, this was SUCH a bad idea. Great. I was turned on and trying to hide it, what do I do? Get REALLY close to him and give him a massage. Brilliant. Yeah, touching your crush will REALLY get rid of your *cough* more intimate feelings. But I couldn't pull away, this might be my only chance to be this close. He squirmed a little, and I heard popping in his neck. Ah, good. I got him to be able to. Okay, pull away, Ryou! You did what you came over to! You don't need to keep stroking his back! Oh, but he was so WARM.
I found my lip trembling as my hands began to commit mutiny. No, baka! Stop, before he notices! Before he KILLS YOU! But I couldn't stop. And, oddly enough, he DIDN'T seem to care, or notice, or whatever. I suddenly ran my fingers through his hair, and was shocked at how soft it was. Even softer than I could have imagined. I heard a loud moan, though. Bakura-sama MOANED? At MY touch? He was ENJOYING it? Oh, how I HAD to pull him even closer, into my lap. My hands roamed into his shirt, and I started to tickle him. He gasped, and shuddered. I blushed more than ever, and then grew pale at the sight of his face. The eyes held a sharp cruelty, and I quickly drew away.
"Oh. So THAT's what's got you thinking so much about me screwing people. Heh, never figured YOU for the horny type." As soon as he shifted position slightly, I scrambled out from underneath him, backing away. Turning my back to him, I rushed into my Soul Room, shaking and feeling like I should cry. I buried my face in my hands, sore from trying to resist. I collapsed onto the carpet, curling into a fetal position as I panted and shivered. 'Oh, no.'
I was startled out of what little wits I had left by a light, sharp tapping. Tapping? Who would tap? Bakura-sama always banged on my door, never tapped. Oh, what did it matter? I couldn't come out. Either my yami would break my heart, or he would beat the stuffing out of me, or both. I couldn't-
"Hikari?" What? Was that Bakura-sama's voice? No, impossible. It was too gentle. Too soft. He would never let ME speak like that, let alone use that tone with me. But who else would it be?
"Hikari, open this door."
"Why? Why should I?"
"Because I want to speak with you, damnit!" THAT sounded more like him.
"Why? How do I know you're not going to horribly maim me, or worse?"
"Damnit, hikari, I'm a madman, not a sadist! I'm a thief, not a damn necrophile!"
I could hardly hear that statement, for it was whispered. Whispered? Why not shouted?
"Hikari, open this door, now. And please, come out here. Or let me in. Please." I was stunned. He said "please?" Twice? What was this, some sort of trick? Or was he sincere? Cautiously, I rose and cracked the door, expecting him to shove it open once it was no longer locked. Instead, I saw him leaning on the wall next to it, his eyes closed.
"Bakura-sama?" I murmured, keeping my eyes downcast.
"Hikari, what the hell is with you?" It was not a demand, just a request. Spoken just as gently as mine.
"Nani?"
"You know what I mean. You're acting as unstable as a manic-depressive female on PMS. One minute you're scratching my back, the next you're cowering as though you expect me to kill you."
I grew even more speechless. His tone was low, but not threatening. I couldn't respond.
"Do you fear that? Do you fear that I will kill you?"
I found my voice, although it was very hoarse and timid. "Can- can you blame me?"
He sighed, and replied, "No, I- I suppose not. I- I'm sorry. I should have just left you alone." He pushed away from the wall, and I heard his Soul Room door creak. "I- I'm sorry," he whispered, and I heard a click as the door shut.
I turned away, lightly closing my own door, but not letting it shut completely. Stumbling over to my bed, I slowly sat, clutching the pillow to my chest and beginning to weep.
I awoke from my troubled sleep to a loud creak. I bolted up and to my Soul Room's door, throwing it open and quickly searching the hall. "Bakura-sama?" I gasped as I saw him disappear. So he went out of the Ring. Either into my body, or into his own. I decided to try to get into my body, and I did. He was walking down the stairs as I staggered out of my room. "Bakura-sama! Wait!"
He froze. "Hikari, I think I should go."
"What? Go? Go where?"
"I don't know. I just don't think I should stay. I- I think you'd be better off."
Better off? Since when did my yami care about my well being? "Ba- Bakura-sama! Wait! No!"
He turned to me, and I saw his eyes, normally so hard, sagging. And were they- sorrowful? "Ryou, I don't want to make you feel like I'm going to kill you. I never wanted that. I- I just wanted to make you strong. I just wanted to give you strength, and I failed. I didn't give you any, but I can't stay. If you can't be strong, at least I can."
He called me Ryou. Never before had he acknowledged my given name. But I didn't understand. "What? Wha- what do you mean, Bakura-sama?"
He turned away again. "I won't let myself become weak. I'm sorry, but I can't handle that."
"What's making you weak? I don't see you as weak! I NEVER could!"
He hung his head. "Then you don't quite get it. It's you, Ryou. You make me weak."
I gasped. I did? "But, how, Bakura-sama?"
He sighed. "Because I can't control myself around you. Because I can't stop hurting you, because I can't stop being hurt by you." His voice was shaking, and I was pierced to the core by his words. "I- I don't mean that you do it on purpose. Anything but. Ryou, I'm hurt because I'm afraid. Not of YOU, not of you being harmful to me. In truth, I'd prefer that, for then, I wouldn't feel the guilt I do. Damn you, Ryou, you pathetic excuse for a hikari! Damn you! You don't even know how bad it hurts, to be afraid of your own feelings, because you can't understand them! And when I try to, it just confuses me more. You know how I am! I can't take it, if I don't know what the hell's going on! I get angry, I go insane. That much, you know. But I could handle it, if I could just punch you and get it over with. Damn you! Damn you, you little pain in the ass! If I could just hit you once! But that's my damn problem! I can't! You just HAVE to be so damn cute! You HAVE to have those Ra-damned melty eyes that just seem to mirror your pain, right back at me! You just HAVE to have that beautiful skin, that it makes me feel like shit whenever I ruin it! You just HAVE to be linked to me, so I can feel the hell I put you through as though it were my own! Ra, Set, Osiris, Aset, Bastet, Anpu, Sekhmet, Ma'at, Horus, Nut, Hathor, Geb, Amon, AAH! Why the hell do I have to feel all of your pain! I hate being hurt, and it just makes me more mad! And then I hurt you more, and, oh, AAH! I hate it, and then I hate you, but I realize that's not right, 'cause then why the hell would I care if I hurt you? Then I realize that it's not YOU I hate, but my own damn baka self! I realize that I'm hurting my own damn self, and that just pisses me off more, and AAH! Why the hell do I love you SO DAMN MUCH?"
My eyes were wide, and I was trembling with conflicting emotions. He was, too, and glaring. My jaw slowly fell open as his words registered. He- he loved me? I felt tears streak down my face, and I looked away. He groaned, and sat down a few steps below me, his shoulders drooping. "Ryou, I think it would be better if I left. Safer, for you."
"No!" I sobbed. "Bakura-sama, my yami, I- I don't know what I'd do without you! Please, don't! I- I'm sorry!"
"Sorry? Why the hell are you apologizing? You haven't done anything! Damnit! Damn it all! Oh, Ra! Please don't even THINK of apologizing! Damnit, Ryou, it's all my damn fault! If- if I wasn't such a baka, I'd be able to stay! But I can't take it! Gods! Half the time, I want to freakin' kill you, the other, I want to kiss you! And the only reason I want to kill you is 'cause I don't know what the hell's happening to me! You damn little hikari! Why the hell do you have to be so damn beautiful? Why do you have to be so sweet, so gentle? Why do you have to make me want you so bad? WHY CAN'T I HATE YOU?" He stood, screaming these words, and I felt my soul being shredded as his crimson eyes met mine. My heart was broken as I saw that they were filled with tears. "Why can't I shut the hell up? Why do I keep on spouting mush that's just making us both cry? Why do you have to cry with me? Why do I cry worse the more I see you cry? What the hell are you? You've got me enslaved so badly, and that's exactly what I'm afraid of! I HATE this! Why the hell are you crying, you pathetic little- ! Stop it! You're just- leave me alone! Let me leave in peace! I- I- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
I stepped back as he screamed in pain, clawing at his own face. "Bakura-sama! No, no!" I reached for him, but he swatted my hand away, howling and whimpering. "Bakura-sama, no, please!" I begged as he began to gnaw at his wrist, hysterically giggling and sobbing.
Desperate, I grabbed his hands, holding them with one hand. I drew the other back, and firmly slapped him. He stopped, in shock, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, heaving him up the stairs. Carrying him into the bathroom, I held him in my lap as I began to run the hot water. Carefully, I pulled off his shirt, stroking his chest soothingly, murmuring reassuringly in his ear. "Bakura-sama, ssh. Ssh. It's okay, it's okay. Rest, now, rest." Stripping him to his shorts, I felt the water. Good. It was plenty warm. I let the tub fill, and as I did so, wiped his wounds clean with some tissue and peroxide. They were pretty deep. They would need more than home care. Or would they? Bakura-sama would often, if he injured me badly, use his powers to heal me. Could I do the same? I was determined to try.
I placed my hands on his face, not heeding the blood running down my arms, and began to focus. I closed my eyes, using my fingers to see the gashes, hoping that my touch didn't hurt him more. Gathering energy, I projected it into him. I felt the wounds seal, heal. Even the blood disappeared. Opening my eyes, I saw that I had healed his arm, as well. Good. Now to help heal his spirit. The tub was full, so I carefully turned, and lowered him into the hot water. Trickling it over his face with my hands, I stroked his cheek, now smooth once more. A tear made it's way down my face, dripped onto his. His eyes, which had been frozen wide open, blinked and grew even wider. They met mine, for an instant, before he squeezed them shut. "Bakura-sama," I whispered softly, bringing my face closer to his. I lightly pressed my lips to his cheek, and continued. "Bakura-sama, ssh. It's okay, I'm right here. I'm not going to go anywhere. I'm here for you."
I stroked his chest, more, and was startled at his response. Slowly, almost as though he were afraid to (and he may well have been), he raised his hand to meet mine, holding it to his heart. Sobbing, he encouraged me to keep kneading. Very willingly, I obliged. Reaching behind his ear with my free hand, I began to scratch behind it. With a slight moan, he nuzzled at my fingers. "Oh, Ryou!" he whispered, quivering. He brought my hand to his lips, and I was overjoyed when he kissed my fingers. Impulsively, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Oops. I promptly got drenched. My shirt. Oops. I chuckled nervously, and my yami chuckled in amusement. "Well, you've done it now!"
"Hai!" I began to giggle as I blushed. His chuckle grew into a bit of a snicker, and I looked into his deep ruby eyes. Uh-oh. Mischief. Oh, NO!
I gasped as he grabbed my shoulders, dragging me in. Squirming and splashing around, I was very grateful we had a large tub. My yami was fully laughing now, as I floundered around. I had no intention of getting out, for I was already as wet as possible, but it would be nice if I could get my legs untangled. Grr, damn jeans! Wet denim is SO hard to move in! Finally, I managed to get sitting on my butt, and shook my head in disbelief. Hard to believe that only five minutes ago, I was crying my eyes out. Now, I was absolutely SOAKED! "You know, Bakura-sama, I'm going to GET YOU FOR THAT!"
"I'm sure. But not right now."
"Huh? Why not?"
"'Cause you're gonna be busy being held," he murmured, wrapping his long arms around me. I was dumbstruck, lovestruck, starstruck, etc. He pulled me to him, and nuzzled my ear. "Mm. You're comfy."
I blushed. "So are you," I whispered.
"Ryou-chan?"
I leaned back, snuggling. "Yes?"
"Thank you. Thank you so much, for everything you've done for me. And, well, I'm sorry, my little hikari. I really blew it."
"No, I don't see anything blown." He got the strangest look in his eyes, and I suddenly got some very pleasant chills.
"Well, my little hikari," he hissed, slipping his hand into my soaked t-shirt, "how about we see what we can _do_ about that?" He laughed diabolically, and I abruptly began to feel VERY warm. Damn wet denim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke: O.O Whoa. That got WAY LONGER and quite a bit more angsty than I expected. Was it nice and fluffy later on, or did you hate it? Did I make anyone very OOC (besides, Yugi, duh)?
Oh, by the way. The teacher's name? TOTALLY MADE UP!!! I don't know a whole lot of Japanese. So if it really means something, it is ACCIDENTAL!!! Oh, by the way, if anyone can tell me what they actually KNOW about Marik/Malik and Isis/Ishizu besides what the WB has shown, I'd appreciate it. I don't want to use them in a fic until I know more about them. And, HOW IS MARIK/MALIK's NAME SAID IN THE ORIGINAL NON-DUB? MAH-reek, Mah-REEK, MAH-leek, or Mah-LEEK? Or is it something else? And what of his yami? And what the hell does "tauk" mean? I know it can't be in Japanese. Is it in the language of Kemet? I WILL NEVER CALL IT ANCIENT EGYPT UNLESS I AM SPEAKING TO TOTAL MORONS! They didn't call it "Egypt," that was the Greek name for their land. Kemet meant "black," and referred to the dark soils brought by the Nile's floods. And they definitely didn't call it "Ancient," for to them, it was their own time!
Oops. I started to ramble there. Uh, back to the important stuff. About the Ishtars, I want actual FACTS, people. So, if you're not sure, or if you heard it from an unofficial source, please don't clutter my reviews. I would like to have some reviews, though. So, please? Flames will be converted into pure light energy and fed to some plants.