"Long day..."
Serena and I walked into the apartment.
"Yeah," I agreed, hanging my green jacket in the closet.
"Wonder where Andrew is..." Serena said worriedly.
"Mm-hmm," I replied, not really paying attention.
I sat down on the couch.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Serena announced, "It's getting late."
She walked to her room, but I stopped her.
"Wait," I called out.
She turned around, "What is it?"
There was a pause. I hesitated.
"Serena, I..."
Uncertainty
by Phantasy Star
--------------------
Part Four (Final) - Uncertainty
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"Serena, I..."
She turned to face me with an uncertain look on her face, and waited.
I took a deep breath.
"Serena, we've been hanging together a lot lately."
I paused, looking for the right words.
"And I've begun to think about some things."
Serena sat down on the other end of the couch slowly, and I wasn't sure if she had
figure out what I was saying or not.
But there was no going back now that I had started.
"And..." I said softly, "I think I've really begun to..."
The phone rang.
I sighed in exasperation and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Is Darien or Serena there?" the lady on the other side of the phone said.
"Yes, this is Darien."
"I have some bad news. Andrew was in a car accident tonight."
CHAPTER TWENTY
"Serena..." I said, "It's the police. Andrew was just in a car accident."
She blinked, "What?"
"We need to get to the hospital right away."
"Oh my..." She began, "Is he okay?"
"They said it doesn't look good."
She remained silent, looking so helpless. She just stood there, almost shaking.
"C'mon," I said quietly.
But she couldn't.
I walked over to her.
I wanted to comfort her, but...
Should I?
Could I?
She put her arms around me first, head against my shirt.
And at that moment, everything gave way. All my thoughts and doubts swirled into
nothingness, and all I could feel was her.
I suppose I should have felt uncomfortable, like I always had before when things
got out of hand like this. But somehow, I didn't have time to think much at the time.
"Let's go," I whispered, and she nodded.
* * *
The old doctor shook his head gravely, "I can't tell you much right now. It was a
rather serious accident. If he can make it through the night, he'll be all right."
"Where is he now?" Serena asked frantically, "What are you going to do for him?"
"We're going to do everything we can," the doctor said.
I nodded.
"Try not to worry too much."
With that, the doctor was gone.
Serena leaned against the wall and began to slump down against it. Tears started to
form.
I offered her my hand, but she just stared blankly at it. So I sat down on the floor
beside her.
We just sat there for at least ten minutes. Thinking. Waiting.
Beside us was the Emergency Room. The light flashed red. Andrew was still inside.
I closed my eyes.
It was hard to imagine Andrew, one of my only friends, lying on an operating table,
helpless.
I opened my eyes when I felt Serena's head resting on my shoulder. She was asleep.
From all the exhaustion, probably. Poor thing.
I decided to catch a bit of sleep myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Where was I?
I rubbed my eyes.
Where's Serena?
I glanced at my watch. It had only been half an hour.
I stood up and stretched my legs. Then I noticed Serena sitting on one of the
hospital benches, eyes closed, hands clasped together.
"Hey," I said as gently as I could, "What are you doing?"
"Praying," she said just as quietly.
"Does it work?" I asked.
I think I asked her as a sort of joke, but for some reason, it turned into serious
question, as if she really knew.
She nodded, "Usually, but not always. It usually works if it's unselfish."
"I see..."
I knelt down beside her and closed my eyes as well.
A few minutes later, the emergency room doors swung open and out came a doctor.
"Doctor," Serena began.
"Andrew seems all right for now," the doctor said, "But he's still in critical
condition. Of course, he will be staying in the hospital for a long time. But
I think he'll make it."
"Thank you," Serena said, and I nodded, as the old man walked off.
Serena sighed in relief.
"Wow," I said, letting out a deep breath myself.
"Darien..." Serena said.
"Hmm?"
"Thanks a lot."
"For what?" I asked.
"For... just being here."
"Andrew's my friend too," I reminded her.
A minute later, I turned to look at her, "Looks like our prayer worked."
She smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The next day, Serena and I got to see Andrew. Of course, lots more crying from her.
But it seemed like he was okay. Like the doctor said, Andrew would have to stay at
the hospital for a few more weeks.
That night, Serena and I came home to face the problem: us.
"Darien, we need to talk."
"Yeah, we do."
She sat down on the couch, and I joined her.
She sighed, and she put her hand over mine.
"Darien, I'm going to leave for a while."
I remained silent, waiting for her explanation.
"But it has nothing to do with you or what you said. But... after Andrew's accident,
I suddenly realized some things. You know, life is short, and... there's so much more
to it than what we can see right now. I want to go out, travel, maybe do my own music
tours... I know it's selfish of me, but I think it's what I really need right now."
"I understand," I said, though I could do anything _but_ understand.
I shook my head, getting rid of the selfish thoughts in my head.
Then I sighed, and smiled, almost as if in defeat, "I'm really not in any place to stop
you anyway."
"I'm sorry," she said, and I shook my head.
"I want to thank you."
She looked at me, surprised.
"Until I've met you, I've always been afraid... of people. My parents died when I was
at a young age. And I avoided getting close to people since then, because I was afraid
I would lose them."
She stared at the ground sadly.
"But... You taught me that... It doesn't matter how long you can be close to someone you
care about. What matters is how great it is the times that you _do_ get to be together."
She leaned over and put her arms around me, and we just sat there for a minute.
I cared about her.
A lot.
And that's why I had to let her go.
* * *
Two days later, Andrew took a short leave from the hospital.
His excuse was a farewell to a close family member.
That night, Serena prepared to leave.
A friend of hers was driving her to the airport.
We had a large order-in dinner at the apartment that night, and then the inevitable goodbye.
"You be careful out there," Andrew said with a grin.
Serena nodded with half a smile, "You too."
"I..." I began, "Send me an e-mail once in a while."
"Of course," she said, "And say goodbye to Mina and Jordie for me."
I nodded.
She didn't move.
I wanted to say more, but with Andrew there...
"Well, I have to go."
"Yeah," Andrew said, "Good luck. Remember us when you're famous."
"I will," Serena said with a genuine smile this time, "Take care, big brother. And
you too, Darien."
"'Bye," I said softly.
She opened the door, and I watched her retreating figure as she walked to the elevator.
I knew I had to let her go.
How could I be selfish in a situation like this?
But...
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
"Wait, Serena," I called.
She whirled around, twin pony-tails flying.
"I..."
She looked at me with a soft expression.
"These are for you."
I took out a small black case.
"Rose earrings," she said softly.
I nodded.
"I can't, Darien."
"You must," I said firmly as I wrapped her fingers around them, "Please."
"Thank you," she said quietly, accepting the box, "They're beautiful."
I folded my hand over hers.
"I'll never forget you." I said.
"Neither will I," she said, "Please, look after Andrew."
"I will."
We shared a moment of silence. One last moment of togetherness.
She looked up at me with big, blue eyes.
Then she got up on tiptoe and leaned over to give me a peck on the cheek.
"'Bye, Darien," she whispered and fled the building.
And I watched her all the way.
Then I sighed and turned around to see Andrew in his wheelchair.
"Don't worry, Darien," he said with a faint smile, "She'll be back in a flash.
She's never been far from home before."
I didn't know what to say.
* * *
After Serena's departure from my life, I expected all the walls to come back up.
Layer by layer.
But it never happened.
I had never wanted to open up to anyone before because I was afraid of being hurt.
And I _was_ hurt.
But I got something far better out of my relationship with Serena. The happiest
times of my life were when she was with me.
And I was prepared to -- I wanted to -- have more people in my life who cared about
me and I could care about, like her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Over the three years since she left, I met and became friends with a number of people,
from work, from the building, Andrew's friends. I even had a few relationships, though
the longest one lasted only about a month.
I once dated a girl name Raye, who was a close friend of Serena's while she was here.
But there was very little chemistry there, and we parted on good terms. About a year
later, I heard she was engaged to a guy named Chad.
And I heard very little from Serena after a short while. She seemed busy most of the
time, and I didn't want to intrude on her life. So I let our letters grow shorter
and less frequent.
Eventually, they stopped.
The last time I had heard of her was two years ago, when I saw her picture on a poster.
She had not changed at all. Meat-ball hairstyle, petite figure.
Turned out she was on a concert tour in Tokyo.
Back then. I debated with myself whether to go, and decided against it.
If I had that decision now, I might consider otherwise.
I didn't mind losing contact with her though, because I was happy with what she had given me.
But... If I were to see her again.
If I were to have another chance...
Then it would be different.
Because, I realize now that... All this time, I've always been waiting
Waiting, waiting, and waiting.
For the meat-ball head to come back into my life.
And, I would not let her go this time.
Serena and I walked into the apartment.
"Yeah," I agreed, hanging my green jacket in the closet.
"Wonder where Andrew is..." Serena said worriedly.
"Mm-hmm," I replied, not really paying attention.
I sat down on the couch.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Serena announced, "It's getting late."
She walked to her room, but I stopped her.
"Wait," I called out.
She turned around, "What is it?"
There was a pause. I hesitated.
"Serena, I..."
Uncertainty
by Phantasy Star
--------------------
Part Four (Final) - Uncertainty
CHAPTER NINETEEN
"Serena, I..."
She turned to face me with an uncertain look on her face, and waited.
I took a deep breath.
"Serena, we've been hanging together a lot lately."
I paused, looking for the right words.
"And I've begun to think about some things."
Serena sat down on the other end of the couch slowly, and I wasn't sure if she had
figure out what I was saying or not.
But there was no going back now that I had started.
"And..." I said softly, "I think I've really begun to..."
The phone rang.
I sighed in exasperation and picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Is Darien or Serena there?" the lady on the other side of the phone said.
"Yes, this is Darien."
"I have some bad news. Andrew was in a car accident tonight."
CHAPTER TWENTY
"Serena..." I said, "It's the police. Andrew was just in a car accident."
She blinked, "What?"
"We need to get to the hospital right away."
"Oh my..." She began, "Is he okay?"
"They said it doesn't look good."
She remained silent, looking so helpless. She just stood there, almost shaking.
"C'mon," I said quietly.
But she couldn't.
I walked over to her.
I wanted to comfort her, but...
Should I?
Could I?
She put her arms around me first, head against my shirt.
And at that moment, everything gave way. All my thoughts and doubts swirled into
nothingness, and all I could feel was her.
I suppose I should have felt uncomfortable, like I always had before when things
got out of hand like this. But somehow, I didn't have time to think much at the time.
"Let's go," I whispered, and she nodded.
* * *
The old doctor shook his head gravely, "I can't tell you much right now. It was a
rather serious accident. If he can make it through the night, he'll be all right."
"Where is he now?" Serena asked frantically, "What are you going to do for him?"
"We're going to do everything we can," the doctor said.
I nodded.
"Try not to worry too much."
With that, the doctor was gone.
Serena leaned against the wall and began to slump down against it. Tears started to
form.
I offered her my hand, but she just stared blankly at it. So I sat down on the floor
beside her.
We just sat there for at least ten minutes. Thinking. Waiting.
Beside us was the Emergency Room. The light flashed red. Andrew was still inside.
I closed my eyes.
It was hard to imagine Andrew, one of my only friends, lying on an operating table,
helpless.
I opened my eyes when I felt Serena's head resting on my shoulder. She was asleep.
From all the exhaustion, probably. Poor thing.
I decided to catch a bit of sleep myself.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Where was I?
I rubbed my eyes.
Where's Serena?
I glanced at my watch. It had only been half an hour.
I stood up and stretched my legs. Then I noticed Serena sitting on one of the
hospital benches, eyes closed, hands clasped together.
"Hey," I said as gently as I could, "What are you doing?"
"Praying," she said just as quietly.
"Does it work?" I asked.
I think I asked her as a sort of joke, but for some reason, it turned into serious
question, as if she really knew.
She nodded, "Usually, but not always. It usually works if it's unselfish."
"I see..."
I knelt down beside her and closed my eyes as well.
A few minutes later, the emergency room doors swung open and out came a doctor.
"Doctor," Serena began.
"Andrew seems all right for now," the doctor said, "But he's still in critical
condition. Of course, he will be staying in the hospital for a long time. But
I think he'll make it."
"Thank you," Serena said, and I nodded, as the old man walked off.
Serena sighed in relief.
"Wow," I said, letting out a deep breath myself.
"Darien..." Serena said.
"Hmm?"
"Thanks a lot."
"For what?" I asked.
"For... just being here."
"Andrew's my friend too," I reminded her.
A minute later, I turned to look at her, "Looks like our prayer worked."
She smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The next day, Serena and I got to see Andrew. Of course, lots more crying from her.
But it seemed like he was okay. Like the doctor said, Andrew would have to stay at
the hospital for a few more weeks.
That night, Serena and I came home to face the problem: us.
"Darien, we need to talk."
"Yeah, we do."
She sat down on the couch, and I joined her.
She sighed, and she put her hand over mine.
"Darien, I'm going to leave for a while."
I remained silent, waiting for her explanation.
"But it has nothing to do with you or what you said. But... after Andrew's accident,
I suddenly realized some things. You know, life is short, and... there's so much more
to it than what we can see right now. I want to go out, travel, maybe do my own music
tours... I know it's selfish of me, but I think it's what I really need right now."
"I understand," I said, though I could do anything _but_ understand.
I shook my head, getting rid of the selfish thoughts in my head.
Then I sighed, and smiled, almost as if in defeat, "I'm really not in any place to stop
you anyway."
"I'm sorry," she said, and I shook my head.
"I want to thank you."
She looked at me, surprised.
"Until I've met you, I've always been afraid... of people. My parents died when I was
at a young age. And I avoided getting close to people since then, because I was afraid
I would lose them."
She stared at the ground sadly.
"But... You taught me that... It doesn't matter how long you can be close to someone you
care about. What matters is how great it is the times that you _do_ get to be together."
She leaned over and put her arms around me, and we just sat there for a minute.
I cared about her.
A lot.
And that's why I had to let her go.
* * *
Two days later, Andrew took a short leave from the hospital.
His excuse was a farewell to a close family member.
That night, Serena prepared to leave.
A friend of hers was driving her to the airport.
We had a large order-in dinner at the apartment that night, and then the inevitable goodbye.
"You be careful out there," Andrew said with a grin.
Serena nodded with half a smile, "You too."
"I..." I began, "Send me an e-mail once in a while."
"Of course," she said, "And say goodbye to Mina and Jordie for me."
I nodded.
She didn't move.
I wanted to say more, but with Andrew there...
"Well, I have to go."
"Yeah," Andrew said, "Good luck. Remember us when you're famous."
"I will," Serena said with a genuine smile this time, "Take care, big brother. And
you too, Darien."
"'Bye," I said softly.
She opened the door, and I watched her retreating figure as she walked to the elevator.
I knew I had to let her go.
How could I be selfish in a situation like this?
But...
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
"Wait, Serena," I called.
She whirled around, twin pony-tails flying.
"I..."
She looked at me with a soft expression.
"These are for you."
I took out a small black case.
"Rose earrings," she said softly.
I nodded.
"I can't, Darien."
"You must," I said firmly as I wrapped her fingers around them, "Please."
"Thank you," she said quietly, accepting the box, "They're beautiful."
I folded my hand over hers.
"I'll never forget you." I said.
"Neither will I," she said, "Please, look after Andrew."
"I will."
We shared a moment of silence. One last moment of togetherness.
She looked up at me with big, blue eyes.
Then she got up on tiptoe and leaned over to give me a peck on the cheek.
"'Bye, Darien," she whispered and fled the building.
And I watched her all the way.
Then I sighed and turned around to see Andrew in his wheelchair.
"Don't worry, Darien," he said with a faint smile, "She'll be back in a flash.
She's never been far from home before."
I didn't know what to say.
* * *
After Serena's departure from my life, I expected all the walls to come back up.
Layer by layer.
But it never happened.
I had never wanted to open up to anyone before because I was afraid of being hurt.
And I _was_ hurt.
But I got something far better out of my relationship with Serena. The happiest
times of my life were when she was with me.
And I was prepared to -- I wanted to -- have more people in my life who cared about
me and I could care about, like her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Over the three years since she left, I met and became friends with a number of people,
from work, from the building, Andrew's friends. I even had a few relationships, though
the longest one lasted only about a month.
I once dated a girl name Raye, who was a close friend of Serena's while she was here.
But there was very little chemistry there, and we parted on good terms. About a year
later, I heard she was engaged to a guy named Chad.
And I heard very little from Serena after a short while. She seemed busy most of the
time, and I didn't want to intrude on her life. So I let our letters grow shorter
and less frequent.
Eventually, they stopped.
The last time I had heard of her was two years ago, when I saw her picture on a poster.
She had not changed at all. Meat-ball hairstyle, petite figure.
Turned out she was on a concert tour in Tokyo.
Back then. I debated with myself whether to go, and decided against it.
If I had that decision now, I might consider otherwise.
I didn't mind losing contact with her though, because I was happy with what she had given me.
But... If I were to see her again.
If I were to have another chance...
Then it would be different.
Because, I realize now that... All this time, I've always been waiting
Waiting, waiting, and waiting.
For the meat-ball head to come back into my life.
And, I would not let her go this time.