Echoes in the Darkness

Part Five

They were exhausted.

After nearly twenty-one straight hours of searching the house and dissecting any and all possible clues, they were on the verge of collapse.

"I'm done." Sirius dropped the book he was examining and rubbed his hands over his face. His eyes hurt, his neck hurt, everything hurt.

"Giving up already, Black?" Severus smirked.

"For today at least. I have nothing left. We should sleep and pick it up again tomorrow?" Sirius would not rise to his bait; he was too tired.

"It is tomorrow." Snape smirked again.

Or maybe he would. "Don't be so damn literal. I know you're tired too, or is yawning a sign of deep contemplation?" he drawled. "Let's just crash for a few hours, and we can try again afterwards."

"Fine." Snape had to agree with Sirius' logic even if he wouldn't tell him so. "You can have the bed, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"I wouldn't advise that. I have attempted to sleep on that couch before and it is not a good idea." He paused to scrutinize the lines in Snape's face. Whether he would admit it or not, he was just as tired. "Look, the bed is big enough. We can share it," Sirius offered.

That earned a raised eyebrow. "I don't think…"

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Please, Severus, for once don't think about it and analyze it and turn it inside out and upside down. Just accept it and go to sleep. I promise to keep my paws to myself."

Severus smiled in spite of himself at the joke. "Very well, but if you snore I will be forced to hex you. Nothing personal, of course."

"Of course," he responded with a short bow.

Sirius fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. But Severus lay awake, confused, unable to look away from the sleeping animagus. Somewhere between a glass of brandy in his quarters and a cup of tea in Lupin's kitchen, he had decided that he really did not know this man who was lying next to him. To punish him for the actions of the child he was twenty years ago was unfair. Despite what others might think, Snape was a passionately fair man, even if he weighted things differently than most.

The man sleeping next to him was dedicated to his friends, loyal to his cause, and committed to preserving them both. His confessions were genuine and full of the shame and guilt he had lived with all that time. That was probably what confused Severus the most. He had not expected to ever hear any kind of apology, let alone find himself willing to accept one. But he was. He was willing to accept it. He was willing to move on and….and what?

This is where he was stuck. What did it all mean? Were they friends? No. But perhaps…No. It would be unreasonable to believe that one day would make that much of a difference. But wasn't that what started it in the first place? Didn't history change because of one day, and could it not change again because of another?

It had been more than a day, though. It had been years. Years of fighting side by side against a force bigger then they were -- bigger than the hate, bigger than the memories, and bigger than anything that they were going through personally because the world was in jeopardy.

They were fighting for survival and fighting for the lives of those they treasured. Fighting for the innocence of children not yet born and the lives of those who survived a lifetime knowing nothing but violence and war. And now, now that they had won, it was time to figure out what they were fighting for in the first place. A war fought for decades on battlefields left charred and covered in debris from a thousand battles: the Light against the Dark, Harry Potter against Tom Riddle, Severus Snape against Sirius Black, Severus Snape against himself. Somewhere along the way, the line between what was right, and what was wrong, and what was just, blurred and distorted until everyone was left afraid to ask questions because they were not prepared to deal with the answers.

Not long ago Sirius spoke of time wasted because of fear and ignorance. Was he just referring to Remus or something else? Hate is nothing but waste, isn't it? Nothing, but energy and time and emotions cast aside, thrown in a pit that grew and festered in its own void. That void was home for Severus for too long. It was time to leave it, but he didn't know how.

Maybe the answer lay within himself, in those places he liked to let himself believe didn't exist. Maybe the answer was lying next to him, in an old acquaintance he was beginning to discover for the first time. Or maybe the answer was lost somewhere in the distance, held in the hands of a man who never knew he had it. Maybe the answer was all of these. Maybe it was none. But if this day would yield anything, it would be that he needed to find that answer wherever it may be.

He awoke to a pair of stone grey eyes watching him.

"Can I ask what you find so interesting?"

Sirius clearly wondered how Snape always managed to sound exasperated at the world even through a sleep-filled voice. He had to give him credit for being consistent. "You look like a different person when you sleep. Did you know that?"

For the love of… "As I have not yet mastered the art of watching myself sleep, no, I was not aware of the fact."

Sirius ignored him and continued talking through a coy smile. "Your face completely relaxes and all those small lines around your eyes and mouth vanish. Even your snarl disappears. You know, I thought it was a permanent part of your face. I swear you look fifteen years younger."

"I see. Well, since I am no longer asleep and my face has returned to its customary aged, decrepit state, I will get up," Severus commented absently.

He began to rise and almost missed Sirius' soft reply. "You're not decrepit."

"Pardon?"

"I never said you were decrepit," Sirius stated. "All I said was you could almost pass for attractive when you sleep."

Black just earned a second raised eyebrow. "Was that a compliment?"

Sirius grinned. "Don't get carried away, Snape. I was merely suggesting that you are not as much of a troll as I had originally thought. That perhaps you are not completely repulsive."

"Why, Black! I didn't know you cared," Snape snorted.

He cocked his head. "Neither did I." Without another word, he got up and went to the toilet. Severus watched him with a mixture of suspicion, annoyance and….curiosity. He shook himself. Thoughts like that would not help anyone, least of all Remus.

Remus.

All thoughts of Sirius' words vanished the second he thought of Remus. He instantly regretted the lightness of the exchange with the Animagus. It seemed almost cruel, actually. Remus was lost or perhaps…..

Not wanting to follow the natural progression of that thought, Severus got up and went into the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway. Fresh hot tea, omelets, toast, marmalade, fruit and even a copy of the Daily Prophet sat neatly set upon the table. Next to the paper was a small card.

Some supplies to assist you in your endeavors.

I am proud of you both.

Good Luck,

Albus

Severus did not know what annoyed him more: the fact that Dumbledore somehow knew everything that went on or that his damn eyes were probably twinkling when he wrote the card.

"When did you do this?" Severus turned to find a freshly showered and shirtless Sirius Black ogling the mini-banquet. He turned abruptly before the blush in his face was noticed.

He quickly regained his composure. "I had nothing to do with this. Apparently, our omnipotent Headmaster has decided to 'assist us in our endeavors.' And by the way, he is proud of us." He threw the card on the table and began pouring tea into two cups.

Sirius picked up the card and read it. He smiled. "Smarmy bugger, isn't he?" Severus grunted in agreement.

Sirius began to eat ravenously, seeming to realize how hungry he truly was. It had been weeks since he ate a decent meal and Severus knew it was not for the lack of food but for the lack of appetite. Sirius sat sipping his tea, looking as if he was wondering why he was so famished all of a sudden. What had changed? He stared at the man sitting across from him. Apparently a lot.

"You're staring at me again." Snape spoke without actually looking up.

"Sorry. I was thinking," Sirius said, sounding a little embarrassed at being caught.

"Will wonders never cease?" Snape continued to eye The Daily Prophet.

Sirius smiled. "Was that a joke? I think you could do better than that."

"Give me time; it's early yet." He finally looked up. There it was again. The lightness. A comfort almost.

Sirius watched the obvious discomfort in Severus's expression and commented, "I know. It's freaking me out as well."

"Pardon?"

"The comfortableness of it all. Two days ago we could barely stand in the same room, and now, we are almost friendly."

Severus sneered. "I haven't hexed you yet. That barely makes us friends."

Apparently, there would be no mercy from Severus today. "I realized that. But considering we have spent almost two days together without killing each other, I consider that a huge step."

"I suppose it is progress. At least we are progressing at something."

"We are making progress." Sirius felt compelled to address Severus's tone. "I feel good about this, Snape. We are on the verge of something. Before, when I felt he was still alive, it was probably more out of hope and need than anything else, although you probably knew that already -- and I do appreciate your helping me, despite it all. But finding that picture tells me we are onto something; we just need to find out what. I feel better this morning than I have in months, like the fog is finally starting to lift."

His enthusiasm and optimism were infectious. As much as enthusiasm and optimism could infect someone like Severus Snape, anyway. He had to agree he also felt better this morning than he had in a long time. Sirius continued to talk. "What's next? Do you have any ideas where we should go from here?'

"My immediate future will consist of eating in peace and showering. After that, we could discuss a plan of attack." His head was down again, immersed in the paper.

"Fair enough."

The water flowed down his body, washing away two days worth of grime and frustration. Droplets of salvation beat against the taut muscles of his neck and back. He thought of Remus and a familiar burning of some long forgotten emotion swelled inside him. All thoughts returned to a picture left casually on a small table in a dusty living room. They tried to remember as much as they could about the circumstances around it but were coming up short. He agreed with Black-- there was something they were missing. The question was: what?

He left the shower and headed to the bedroom. A valise lay on the floor next to the bed. Apparently Albus's package contained fresh clothes as well. For once he was grateful for the old codger's interference. He dressed slowly, carefully buttoning his naked vulnerability away and returning to the detached façade he shared with the world. He tied his wet hair back and went downstairs.

Sirius was seated on the sofa reading The Daily Prophet and finishing the morning's tea. Upon hearing Severus enter the room, he looked up and stared at the Potions master.

"You're doing it again." This was getting ridiculous.

"Doing what?"

"Staring at me. What's wrong now?"

Sirius' expression gave away nothing. "Nothing's wrong, Severus. I'm just not used to seeing you with your hair tied back."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Surprised at the full size of my nose?"

"Not at all….it's a good look for you." He returned to his paper with a smile on his face, leaving Severus to wonder where the insult was hidden.

He watched Sirius reading the paper and realized he was beginning to look a bit more like his old self. His hair shone blue-black in the light of the pending noon sun, his eyes looked inquiring as opposed to ghostly, and his overall demeanor was relaxed and confident. In a word, he was beautiful. Not in the way he was beautiful as a child; Severus doubted he would ever look like that again. Rather, it was a mature beauty, one earned through survival and perseverance and strength.

Severus looked about the room trying to find anything that would break the reverie and refocus his efforts. What had they missed? They seemed to have exhausted every inch of the grounds inside and out. Not unexpectedly, he found himself drawn to the picture on the table. He picked it up again, this time taking it out of the frame hoping to find a letter for note or something inside. He wasn't surprised to find nothing.

He looked again at the smiling face of Remus Lupin. "He seems in good spirits in this picture."

"Why shouldn't he be?" Sirius did not look up as he answered. "It was before everything happened. Before it all changed-- when he still had hope."

Severus shook his head. "It's more than that. It's not just a smile for a picture; it's almost like a smile for the picture taker. Who took this photograph?"

Sirius sat for a moment and thought. "Hooch. Maura Hooch."

"That would explain it." He kept staring into the picture. "What about her? What do we know about her?"

Sirius put the paper down and rubbed his hand over his face in what was quickly becoming a habit. "I'm afraid I don't know much. She was an outstanding flyer and played for the Quidditch team."

"What position?"

"Beater," he answered instantly. "She was fiercely competitive. She once played an entire game with a shattered wrist after getting smashed with an errant bludger."

Severus tried to assess the information. "She was strong willed and resolute."

"I guess you could say that," Black agreed. "I knew she was smart too. Charms, I think, was her topic. She had an odd sense of humor. I don't know… most of us found her strange, but Remus was really taken by her."

"She was not part of your group then, I gather."

"Not really. We occasionally studied together, but for the most part, it was just the two of them. They were very private about their friendship."

"What do you know about their relationship?"

"They became friends in… fifth year, I think, during one Christmas. Remus didn't go home for the holidays, and he didn't want to come with any of us to our houses because he was afraid of our parents finding out about him. He wouldn't hear of us not going home on his account, so he stayed behind alone. She had no family either so she spent those weeks at Hogwarts too. Something happened then but he wouldn't tell us what. They had some sort of secret between them, and they where adamant about keeping it. They had this almost fanatical loyalty between them."

Severus froze and turned to Sirius. "What did you say?"

"They had this almost fanatical loyalty between them."

"Before that."

"They had some sort of secret between them, and they were fierce about keeping it."

"Secrets. They kept secrets."

"Yes?"

"She was a keeper of secrets."

And Sirius understood. "Secret keeper. Oh, dear Merlin." The implications of all his thoughts swept over him. At that moment he was grateful that he was still sitting, because he doubted his legs would function. "She could have been his secret keeper. It makes sense. No one could locate him while he was on his mission. He would need a way to get from site to site without being noticed…But Severus," his mouth went dry, "she died."

"I realize that." Severus swallowed hard.

Sirius' mind was swimming. "What happens when your secret keeper dies and you are still hidden?"

"I have no idea." At that moment the pallid face lost any remnant of color it possessed.

Sirius did not want to hear that Severus had no more to offer than he did. The Fidelius Charm was an old and complicated one. He had never thought of the consequences of the death of the Secret Keeper. The Keeper was the one that was supposed to be safe from harm. Someone had to know. Someone would know. "Only one person might know how to get him back."

Severus looked straight into Black's eyes. "I was just thinking the same thing."