Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Wolverine. Or Jean, or any of the other characters appearing in this chapter. Marvel does, though they don't deserve them, and I'm not making any money off of this, though it would be nice if I was.

In any case, thanks go to Luba for beta-reading, and to Harry whose monthly e-mails convinced me to continue the story.

Behind Closed Doors
by Sue Penkivech

Chapter 2

"Pregnant?" Wolverine asked carefully, as if unsure he had heard correctly.

"Pregnant," Jean confirmed, watching his face carefully and wishing that she was still telepathic and could know what he was thinking. There had to be more to this "reading body language" than he implied, because she certainly wasn't reading anything from he way he stood perfectly still, his face blank, unless it meant he had suddenly gone comatose.

"Oh," he said, still dumbstruck. "Are you sure, Jeannie? I mean, with all the stress and everything recently, maybe you're just..."

"No, I'm not just late," she replied angrily. "Three positive over-the-counter tests pretty well confirm it." She wasn't sure what kind of reaction she'd expected from him, but this certainly wasn't it. Anger, she'd been prepared for; elated, she'd hoped for, but this calm, rational questioning was kind of disconcerting.

"I'm sorry, Jeannie," he said suddenly, pulling her to him. "I didn't mean I didn't believe you or anything - I'm just having a hard time believing it myself. Hell, I really didn't think it was possible; my memories ain't complete by a long shot, but I've never had anyone show up claiming to be my kid, either. Unless you count Rachel - I always kind of wondered about her."

"Rachel?" Jean asked, puzzled, as she pulled out of his embrace. "She always said she was Scott and my daughter from an alternate future. I never heard her claim to be yours."

"Yeah, I know, but things didn't add up to me," he said distractedly. "She was an awful lot like me; had one hell of a temper, worse than yours, even."

"Oh, thanks a lot," Jean said sarcastically.

"Not what I meant, but you DO have quite a temper, you know. Not as bad as mine," he admitted as she started to disagree, "but anyway, that wasn't it."

"What was?" she asked. Now that she'd told him her news, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it until he'd had a chance to let it sink it for a while. No, she had to admit, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it at all. Besides, she'd never even considered that Rachel might not be telling the truth about being Scott's daughter, or that she might not know the truth herself. It was an intriguing possibility; perhaps this child would grow up to be the Rachel she knew after all...she found that she didn't know how she felt about that idea either.

"That whole thing when Scott and Sue Richards were turned into hounds to find her and Franklin. Sue headed straight for Frank; Scott couldn't find Rachel. Seemed odd at the time, and it got me wondering. But you're changing the subject, Red."

"What else do you want me to say?" she asked defensively. "You're the one who changed the subject and brought up Rachel. No question here - this baby is definitely yours, if that's what you're trying not to ask."

"I'd kinda guessed that," he said impatiently. How far along are you?"

"Not far enough for anyone to believe the baby's Scott's, if that's what you're wondering," she countered. "Though if you don't want anyone to know it's yours, I guess I could pretend to have had a one night stand or something."

"Damnit, Jeannie, that's not what I meant!" he shouted, taking her shoulders and shaking her. "Would you quit it, already? What do you want me to say? That I'm happy you're having my child? I would be, if I thought I'd still be alive to get to know him or her, and take care of you both. As things are, I got to admit I'm not sure how I feel." He dropped his hands to his side, and turned away from her, shaking his head. "It goes against everything I believe in to leave the two of you alone, but I ain't gonna be able to stop it. Dying wasn't exactly in my plans when we started this, Jeannie."

"I know," she answered, her voice softening. "And I didn't plan this either, Logan. But you're right," she joked feebly. "I relied far too much on my telekinesis, too - when I had it, it was a great method of birth control. Once it was gone, well, I should have gone to see Hank for pills or something, but I didn't want him to know..."

"How do you feel about this, Jeannie?" Logan asked suddenly.

"I don't know," she answered, shaking her head. "I always wanted children; Scott never did, he was haunted by what happened with Nathan Christopher, I think, but I loved Nate as a baby. I always wished he was mine," she admitted, and Logan nodded. "So I'm happy about the child itself. But it's everything else - how am I going to tell everyone? What am I going to tell everyone?"

"The truth," Logan said. "You know you'll never forgive yourself if you lie to them."

"The truth. Let's see - 'Oh, hi everyone, Logan and I have been sleeping together ever since Scott died, and probably would have been even if he hadn't, things were heading that way anyway. We just didn't get around to mentioning it to anyone, but hey, I'm pregnant, who's throwing the shower?' Get real, Logan," she said sarcastically. "The X-Men would never recover. Things are confused enough at this point; hardly a day goes by when I don't overhear someone saying they should leave and get a real job or something."

"Maybe they should," he countered. "It ain't like most of them couldn't find something else to do than sit around here until this whole thing plays out. It'd probably be good for them - get out there and get in touch with reality. A lot of them haven't been there in years; too busy running around saving the world to live in it."

"Like me, I suppose?" she asked angrily.

"Touch a sore spot, Red? How long did you and Scott last in Alaska? A month? Two at the most?"

"About that," she admitted. "But we were called back - it's not like we weren't trying to adjust."

"Yeah, and maybe you could have, if you hadn't gone to the middle of nowhere," he admitted. "Cyke - no way. He tried it before; he was too addicted to this lifestyle, even if he did blame it on 'the Dream'."

"Ok, then, where would you suggest?" she asked, giving it some serious consideration. Maybe she would just tell the X-Men she was leaving, and go start a life somewhere else...

Logan thought a minute before answering. "You, by yourself or with me? If you had your powers, I'd say Madripoor - you'd get a kick out of it, and we could always go kick ass when we were in the mood. With the baby, by yourself? You'd really be best off staying here, or going back to your parents," he admitted. "You'd be safer, and so would the munchkin."

"Oh, sure, the mansion is an incredibly safe place to raise a child," she said. "Let's see - how many times has it been totaled? I've lost count, but the FOH did a nice job this month...besides, you said before you figure this will all play out. Are you so convinced you'll be dead before it does? Or is this your way of telling me you don't plan to acknowledge your child?"

"I never said that! If you want, I'll go out there right now, call a meeting, and tell them myself. Is that what you want, Jeannie?" She felt herself blush. In a way, that was exactly what she wanted; if Logan broke the news, she could divorce herself from the responsibility for what happened to the team as a result.

"Hell, let's take it one step further - I'll tell them I raped you. Half of them would probably believe it - Wings would tell everyone he knew it all along. He'd probably even offer to marry you - that'd give both you and the baby a nice, secure future, no matter what happened. You wouldn't bear any of the blame, and the X-Men could go on as usual. You'd probably even get the damned baby shower, if that's what you're interested in."

"Damn it, Logan, now you're being ridiculous! You're no rapist! And I'd never marry Warren," Jean fumed, at least in part because she had, albeit briefly, considered doing just that. She was fairly sure that Warren would offer, despite his relationship with Betsy, but had resolved to turn him down. "And a shower - you know I couldn't care less about that! It's just..."

I know, Jeannie," he said softly. "I know you're worried about the team, and you wouldn't be human if you weren't worried at all about what they thought of you. And to answer your question from before, no, I don't figure on seeing the end of this," he admitted. "That's why I asked before - when's the kid due, Jeannie?"

"About seven months."

"Damn." Logan began pacing. "You're right - no way to pass it off as Scott's, and Hank'd find out anyway; I'm sure he'd want to do a DNA test and everything, check for the X-factor. I guess it comes down to this," he said, as he stopped pacing and looked at her. "What do you want to do, Jeannie? You're going to be the one who has to deal with the fall out, if it comes. How do you want to play this? I'm guessing you want to have the child?"

"Of course!" she said, shocked. Despite her mixed feelings, she had never seriously considered the possibility of an abortion.

She thought about it a few minutes, considering her options. She could always go back to her parents; she was sure they could use the help with Joey and Gailyn, and they would take her in without any questions, child and all. It was tempting, in a way; just run away from the problem. But it wasn't really in her nature to run, no matter how tempted.

"We tell them," she said quietly.

"That's my Jeannie," he said, smiling. "I wasn't sure for a while, there."

"Neither was I," she admitted. "What about your 'girls'? Do you want to tell them first?" She could see him think about it as he started to pace again, and he finally stopped and nodded.

"Yeah, I think I owe them that much, and Kitty'll be a help to you. Anyone you want to tell in advance?"

Jean thought for a moment, then shook her head, no. "I'd tell Hank, but if I do Warren will never forgive me. And I probably should tell Nate, but I don't have any idea how to get in touch with him. He'll forgive me for not being the first to know - I'm not sure he'll forgive me for the rest, but I guess I'll find out. Why would you say that about Kitty, though? I can understand you wanting to tell her," she added as he opened his mouth, "but it's not like we've been on the best of terms. I would think she'd be more upset than anyone. After all, I've heard all the stories about how close she and Madeline were."

Logan stared hard at her for a minute, and shook his head. "I never could figure out what your problem with Kitty was, Jean, but I think I just did. It ain't her age, is it? And, despite what you said earlier, it's not that she's interested in Drake, or that she isn't responsible. It's that she knew Maddy first, and you're afraid you don't measure up."

"Against someone who would have killed her own child to get back at her husband for leaving her?" Jean laughed harshly, but she knew in a way he was right.

"No, against Scott's first wife. Kitty wasn't around when Maddy went nuts, was she? I'm sure she's heard the story, but that's not the same as being there; besides, when it happened, Kit thought we were all dead, Maddy included. But they were close - heck, Kitty was her bridesmaid when they got married. Called her every day, even when we were in Paris - I remember hearing 'Ro complain about the phone bills they built up. That's gotta bug you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jean said, but even to her it sounded forced. She wondered absently how the conversation always came back to Kitty, but knew Logan would keep bringing it up until they'd talked it through.

Logan shook his head, and took her hands. "Jean, I can't pretend to really understand how you feel about Madeline. I knew her, and I'm still not sure I know how I feel about her. But I hope you get past it enough to take any help Kitty will offer. You hate to hear it, but she's got a good head on her shoulders, and she will offer."

"Why?" Jean asked.

"Why?" he asked in return, but mockingly. "Oh, let's see - she'll practically consider the kid her brother or sister, it being mine as much as yours. And she was Rachel's best friend - I'm guessing here, but I figure that will factor in more than a bit."

Jean stared at him for a moment, then dropped her eyes. "I - forgot about that. Maybe that's part of the problem between us, too - I didn't treat Rachel well, and I know it. I guess I feel guilty about it, and I assume Kitty blames me for that, too. I KNOW she blames me for Scott leaving Madeline, and probably everything that happened as a result."

"Probably," Logan admitted. "Kitty can be loyal to a fault. It goes both ways, though - she'll love the baby for Rachel's sake. Will you try to get along with her for mine?"

"I'll try," Jean conceded reluctantly. She'd never admit it to him, but a lot of her problem with Kitty was simply jealousy. Jealousy and guilt, if she wanted to be completely honest with herself. She knew that Kitty was closer to Logan than she would ever be, no matter how long their relationship lasted, and that rankled. And of course, she had Phoenix's memory of "persuading" Kitty's parents to send her to Xavier's, an action which had inadvertently cost Kitty her family, as her persuasion caused Kitty's parents to lose interest in her altogether. While she wasn't really responsible, she found herself feeling awkward around Kitty.

Still, if she and Logan were to have any kind of relationship, no matter how little time he had left, she was going to have to put her feelings aside and accept the reality that his "daughter" would always mean at least as much to him as his lover, and learn to set aside her own discomfort around someone who, she realized, would essentially be her "stepdaughter". It was a disconcerting thought.

"One last question, then," Logan said gruffly, still holding her hands. "I know the timing's awful. I've got nothing much to offer you at this point, not even a future, but, will you marry me?"

"Marry you?" Jean asked incredulously. "Why?" She couldn't believe the conversation had taken this turn.

Logan looked at her, and something inside that had hardened over the last weeks she'd waited for him to return from Weapon X melted. "Cause I love you, Jeannie - always have, always will. Who knows, maybe you're right, and things will play out faster than I expect, or I'll hold out longer. In any case, the baby deserves to know that his or her father and mother loved each other."

"I - I don't know, Logan. It's not something we should rush into," she said, torn between the conflicting emotions running through her. She'd married before - twice, if you counted Madeline's marriage to Scott, which she still remembered. Neither had gone well, but then, neither marriage had Logan as the partner, either.

She knew she should never have married Scott - knew it even when she proposed to him. She'd loved him, yes, but more as a friend than a lover. Sometimes that was enough to build a marriage, but it hadn't proved so in their case. While it had seemed the "safe" thing to do at the time, her love, even in a diluted form, had an intensity he couldn't handle, and by comparison, he had been cold, all his stronger emotions given to the team rather than to her. Madeline's memories had proven that he'd been the same with her, and for once Jean had welcomed the woman's presence in her mind, reaffirming her decision to break things off. But she hadn't had the chance.

Now she was being asked to marry again, by a man who in many ways was a much better match for her. She knew that she and Logan were a lot alike; frighteningly so, in many ways. He'd always believed in her, even when Scott had been frightened by her growing abilities; Phoenix's memories confirmed that. Even if, as she suspected, the portion of the Phoenix that it had left behind to help her heal was gradually growing, Logan had the strength of will to help her control it without trying to stifle her, as Scott sometimes had. They were friends, but there had always been an undercurrent of passion below that, which had gradually surfaced when she and Scott began to grow apart, and had broken through after Scott's death. It was an appealing offer, one she had been unconsciously waiting for since their affair had begun, if not for one thing.

But that one thing couldn't be ignored. Logan had just told her he was dying; in all probability, he would be dead before their child was even born.

"I - I don't know, Logan. I love you; it's not that at all. But I have to think about it."

"Fair enough, Red," he said, turning towards the door. "I won't say nothin' to the girls about the baby until you've had time to think; I'd sooner tell them everything at once. And, whatever you decide, I'll be with you." He turned back and kissed her once more, with all the passion they'd shared in the last months, and she nearly agreed there and then. But he turned once more, and walked out, leaving Jean standing in the office alone. She went back to the desk and sat down, stared absently at the piles of paperwork in front of her for a few minutes, then covered her hands with her face and began to cry.

The End?

What's going to happen? Check out future chapters of "Just a Couple of Kids, After All" for the resolution! (Shameless plug, I know, but there'd be a lot of duplication if I did it any other way!)