Support both the Nikki Diary awards and the RKRC! I've been to both places,
and they don't overlap for the most part. I'm so relieved to know that,
actually. ^^ Man, lots of reading to do...
This is the chapter that will make people mad at me, most likely. If you're one of them, please be merciful in the reviews, and please be so kind as to also read the final chapter, after this one. I also have an epilogue planned, just one extra chapter after the story ends.
Disclaimer: Aoshi ain't mine. Enishi ain't mine. Misao ain't mine. White and Black IS mine. And the final decision I make here IS mine. Part of my reason will be explained in the chapter, and the rest explained at the final author notes at the end. At any rate, this is fanfiction, and shouldn't be taken way too seriously.
All that said, let us all put ourselves out of our misery and get it over with.
............
Misao shook in trepidation as the two men presented themselves before her. Controlled ki emanated strongly from both swordsmen, somehow discreetly fighting for supremacy.
As a little girl she dreamed of what it would be like to be a princess of the royal court, and have men kneeling before her, awaiting her smallest command. Back then her elderly friends had humored her and became her warriors and retainers.
Now that two princes were actually standing before this little princess of the blue kimono and rouge cheeks, she was quivering in her socks. She had never seen them this grave before. It felt like the fate of two powerful nations rested in which prince she accepted.
The snow prince, bedecked in his white Chinese suit, bowed before the princess, and began to speak.
"I have to leave the country for a while, Makimachi."
Makimachi?! It must be a mistake. She smiled uneasily. "What's wrong with that? You've wanted to travel for some time, ne?"
"Makimachi, I am being commissioned by the government, to be an agent."
"A-agent?" She was a little surprised, but, as an Oniwabanshuu ninja, not much. "I still say what's wrong with that? I go undercover for a living, right? What's so different?"
He turned his back to her. "Makimachi. Your world is different from mine. The government conspiracies, the political maneuverings that your organization sees, is only the surface of my world. I am being commissioned to go back to it, go back to Shanghai, help China and Japan stop the triad."
"If you refuse?" She earnestly hoped he would.
"Permanent exile. That would not have been so bad, a year ago....but not now."
"Let me go with you! I can help, can't I?"
"Rather impossible," the okashira interrupted at this point. "Kyoto operatives would know that you are an Oniwabanshuu ninja. For you to be seen with him would make them suspicious of what he is doing."
"If you choose to help me," the businessman continued, "you would have to......severe your ties with the Oni."
"Only one, or the other, Misao."
The prince with the ice-blue eyes worded the ultimatum.
Misao looked down at the stones in her hand, and twirled them again. Before the afternoon was over, she had to throw one of them away.
"Look, gentlemen," she entreated, "Maybe I could act as a go-between? I know how to use disguises, I can be the messenger between the both of you..."
Enishi lowered his head, and chuckled bitterly. "You are trying to be on the safe side, Makimachi. You want to be with me, but still you do not want to lose Shinomori." He shook his head. "No, my dear Makimachi. It cannot work that way. Do not leave us any more in suspense. Do not disappoint us any more by your ambiguity. One, or the other. Choose."
"If you decide to stay in Kyoto, you will have to deny for the most part your knowledge of Yukishiro, for both his and your safety," Aoshi warned her. "You will merely live the life you have always lived, a boring one confined to this city. You will not have the chance to travel outside of Japan, and see the world beyond our shores."
"If you choose to go with me," Enishi cautioned in turn, "you will not be able to sleep at night in peace. Every minute you are alive is a new risk. You are in danger of being killed, injured, even raped. It will be one or two years before you get to see Japan again. Most importantly, you would have to assume a new identity. You cannot contact Shinomori, if you want to stay alive and if you want to see this case completed."
Then silence.
The men stood with their backs to each other, apart by only a few feet, and waited for her answer.
Cold sweat beaded at Misao's forehead. This was the point of no return.
Both men were most gentlemanly to her. Both would give up their lives for her. Both had their secrets and their past mistakes, but both had tried to live beyond them to something better.
She had enjoyed their company, in different ways. She had admired their endearing qualities, in different ways. She had loved them truly, in different ways.
The question was not who she loved more. Rather, who did she love enough, to sacrifice everything else?
Should she give her heart completely to the man she had given her life and love for the longest time? Or, should she give it to the man who gave her a new reason to live?
Soujirou's words came back to haunt her. Choose, once and for all.
She probed deep in her memory, for everything she recalled about both men. The hard times and the good times. The horrible remembrances and the wonderful dreams. The days long gone, and the days recently past.
She took a deep breath, and gave the two stones a final look.
She chose.
.
.
White.
.
.
"Think about this very carefully, Misao!" the victor panicked. "You know the consequences! Think, Misao! Think again!"
"I have decided," she declared resolutely.
"You don't understand! You can't undo this! If you choose me, you will lose Shinomori! I know what he is to you! Do not do this, Misao!"
She smiled such a womanly smile, that neither man had seen before. "I have decided."
"You do not understand, you do not understand!" he kneeled beside her. "Aside from the obvious situation, there is one thing more. Shinomori and I made an agreement. Only the one you choose will propose. I.....have to marry you, Misao."
Her jaw dropped.
He stammered and faltered. "I would like to marry you, of course. However, I also know that you want to marry HIM. Now, considering that, and considering the situation I am in, PLEASE think it over well. I will not consider that your final answer yet, so please think about your choice."
"Enough, Yukishiro." The okashira put a hand to the man's shoulder.
Yukishiro attacked. "Are you surrendering without a fight? Don't you understand what I'm trying to do? I am desperately trying to give her back to you, and you have no intentions of taking it?"
"What is the use?" he weakly countered.
"DON'T YOU LOVE HER, Shinomori?!"
"Yes, I do."
"Aren't you going to defend yourself, then? Tell her I'm not worthy of her! Tell her I'll only ruin her life! I used to be a smuggler, for goodness sakes, and I'm being asked to be a smuggler again. Tell her to stay with you."
"Please....stop.....Enishi....stop it." Tears flowed down her face, and formed lines through the rouge in her cheeks. She hid her eyes from both of them, and wept quietly.
She quietly walked to where the okashira stood, and took both of his hands in hers.
"Aoshi-sama. Listen to me. You will always, always have a special place in my heart. I will always want to be with you. But.....but......I....I....can't....I can't......live with you forever....." She buried her face in his warm uniform and wept sorrowfully. "I am very sorry....Aoshi......but I can't......" She brushed a few tears away from her eyes. "It's not because of you. Kami-sama knows, I have forgiven you long ago for your faults. You have been nothing but loving to me. Aoshi, I am doing this because of me."
The okashira's face betrayed a hundred of the thousand questions he had.
"I want to know who I am, as myself. Do not get me wrong. I am a better person for what you have all taught me. But I am always living under someone else's shadow. I want to stay in my own sunlight for a change."
He nodded slowly, and kissed her tenderly to one cheek.
She carefully released herself after a few minutes, then faced the other man.
"I told you, you do not have to do this....." he gave a final show of resistance.
She became all business. "It is not because I am after your money-I actually hate those politicians who think money makes the world go round. It is not because I pity you-You can ask Himura, I hated you all over again when I saw those papers. It is not because I feel sorry for you-You are too strong a person for that. It is definitely not because I hate Aoshi-sama- Even you know that I think the world of him."
This new woman scared even the former mafia boss, familiar with strong and dangerous women. She was determined, more than he had ever seen. She was resolute, more than she had ever been in her life. She had indeed weighed her options and her risks. She knew what she was getting into.
"Has it come to your attention, gentlemen, that I could refuse you BOTH?" she defiantly declared.
The two men looked at each other. Hard to admit, but she was right.
"I did not do that, though."
She looked again at the businessman.
"You did not hide me under your shadow. You made me shine for myself. That is my reason."
"Only because you did---" he interrupted.
"Enishi," she grinned, and put a finger to his lips, "you talk too much."
He smiled slightly in return.
But he noticed the small tears forming at the sides of her eyes, as she glanced with longing at the conquered. The okashira tried to hide his defeat behind a face of stone, but the young woman knew him well enough to see beyond it. The snowhaired man saw that in her miserable eyes. He knew how she wanted to embrace him again, to console him, to make him understand that the decision hurt her as well.
He understood her pain, but it also pained him to accept it. Still, he felt somewhat responsible, and he felt a new settlement must be arranged.
He gestured to the okashira, and led him a few meters away from the young woman. They talked earnestly for five agonizing minutes. Misao saw Enishi gesturing and discussing with animation, as Aoshi calmly nodded and shook his head in intervals. At last, Enishi gave a final desperate proposal, to which Aoshi agreed.
They returned.
"My dear weasel..." Enishi began.
"What did you just say?!" she playfully readied her fighting stance.
He did not seem to realize his mistake. "...Do you recall that ring I let you borrow for a while?"
"The sealing ring. Of course, it's at the Aioya in a box. You need it back?" she asked in confusion.
He shook his head and smiled. "Do you remember the paper that came with it?"
She nodded, and quoted. " 'The bearer of the ring must be given full access... Any man who defies these words will answer for it with his life.' "
"Good. I want you to keep it, my dear weasel. As your engagement ring."
She did not hear him right, right? "My, engagement ring? What is an engagement ring?"
"In the West, a man gives a woman a ring, as a token that she has accepted his proposal of marriage. It's worn during the engagement period. It is replaced by the wedding ring once they are married," he explained. "A lot of the young women in Shanghai expect that of their fiancée."
"What does all that trivia have to do with me, Enishi?"
He took off his glasses, and looked into her beautiful jade eyes. "Misao, I know what Shinomori means to you. I know what your friends mean to you. I do not feel it is right for me to just whisk you away, just to be with me, even if you have decided. Therefore, this is what Shinomori and I have agreed upon."
He cleared his throat and explained. "In two weeks, I will be leaving for Shanghai, alone. I will come back for you in a year. So, you can still be with your Aoshi-sama and your other friends for the time being. The ring is my promise. I will come back for you, and when I come back, I will marry you then. The ring is also your protection. Just in case I manage to get in trouble, you can use the ring to access any information, whether in Japan or in China."
Her mind flew back for a few seconds to a man with the same features but a different personality. A few short months ago, this was the man who would have moved heaven and earth, to make her come with him. Was he, seriously, willingly, relinquishing his right to have her? Was he truly thinking about the feelings of his rival and of his beloved? This was another man before her, indeed!
"Let me get this straight," Misao tried to take in everything. She was a little girl, being told her beloved brother was not going away. "I can stay with Aoshi-sama?"
"For another year, yes."
Then her face revealed hopeful love. "But you will be back?"
"Yes."
The arrangement was just fine with her. A longer time to adjust, a longer time to comprehend and to understand the long-term implications of her choice. It did not mean she would take it back, but it did mean she would better know what she was getting into.
"Thank you for reading my mind."
He did not answer. He took her hand, and led her to his opponent.
The okashira met the eyes of the businessman, and gave a slow military nod. "Thank you."
Misao looked back in gratitude at the snowhaired man, then hugged the okashira for all she was worth. "I'm not going away! I won't be leaving you! I'm so glad!" She looked like a woman released from an untimely and innocent death. He embraced her back gratefully.
"Women, they really cannot make up their minds, can they?" Enishi murmured and smirked as he cocked his glasses back over his eyes. He began to walk down the hill, sadly chuckling, his Chinese suit fluttering in the late afternoon breeze.
...........
Yes, women can't make up their minds. I am one of them. ^^
On this author's word of honor, she did not simply toss a coin to make a decision. I've worried plenty about it, about my peace of mind, about the rationale, about what Firuze Khanume and CardMistressSakura (the most ardent supporters of either side) would say.
I figured that this was the most rational ending, considering the background I have made for the story. I know I didn't treat both men fairly. One got more airtime and chances than the other. I know, either way I go, I would be leaving one man depressed for the rest of his life, for the loss of a woman. But one has to win. That's the point of a triangle. You guys would throw stones at me more if I didn't let anyone win. Midori, Iceangel, tesuka-chan, and Sabbie might eventually have other ideas, but their choices are not mine.
For some reason, it did not feel right to give either man the full victory, though. Misao has no ill feelings for either man, so I don't think it would be right if she was truly forced to reject one of them completely for the other. Thus, it turned out like this.
I know that I don't completely satisfy Enishi fans or Aoshi fans this way, but I have the most peace of mind with this ending. I hope you all understand. You all have NO idea how much I've thought and thought and thought and lost sleep and thought and lost sleep....about this predicament.
This is the first time I made a story where I personally choose the ending. Seven Days and Nine Months, being solid K/K stories, had an implied ending I would be happy with. Nine Months, being a pregnancy fic, had an obvious ending I can work and aim at. White and Black's ending, therefore, has been sheer torture.
Reviews and criticism are welcome. Deadly weapons aren't, though!! I want to stay alive to write another RK fic!
Congratulations to chitchat, nekonomiko, bittersweetKandy, Mi. My sincere apologies to CardMistressSakura, bee, hmikomi. If it's any consolation to you guys, it was really a tough choice.
(Dallisse-I'll go back to your fics, I promise. Thanks for putting me in the faves list!) (JML-I do hope you become someone like Michael Crichton.) (Cat H-I hope you understand now why I said Alias is an inspiration for the final chapters.) (Luli451-Yes, you can keep the other guy! ^^) (Bee-Thanks, and I hope you weren't too disappointed.) (CardMistressSakura-I am really sorry to have tagged you along for so long and disappoint you at the end. (bows low) I am very very sorry.) (Mi- Yes, you got what you wanted.) (BittersweetKandy-I think Misao CAN commit to a serious relationship. She did adore her Aoshi-sama for YEARS!) (Nekonomiko-Long time no see! ^^) (Iceangel-I hope you don't mind if I say I like Solasido lots as well. ^^) (Hmikomi---Thanks for reading for so long! I am so so sorry to disappoint you.) (Chitchat-Thanks for liking the bluebird part!) (Firuze-nee-san---I can't believe you rooted for the other guy!) (Sabbie-Three endings?! I already had enough trouble with this one!) (Tiian-Yeah, you're right about balance in dialogue and description. Midori-sempai gets it perfectly right. ^^)
There will be one last chapter and an epilogue, so I hope to see you all again, pretty please? ^^
This is the chapter that will make people mad at me, most likely. If you're one of them, please be merciful in the reviews, and please be so kind as to also read the final chapter, after this one. I also have an epilogue planned, just one extra chapter after the story ends.
Disclaimer: Aoshi ain't mine. Enishi ain't mine. Misao ain't mine. White and Black IS mine. And the final decision I make here IS mine. Part of my reason will be explained in the chapter, and the rest explained at the final author notes at the end. At any rate, this is fanfiction, and shouldn't be taken way too seriously.
All that said, let us all put ourselves out of our misery and get it over with.
............
Misao shook in trepidation as the two men presented themselves before her. Controlled ki emanated strongly from both swordsmen, somehow discreetly fighting for supremacy.
As a little girl she dreamed of what it would be like to be a princess of the royal court, and have men kneeling before her, awaiting her smallest command. Back then her elderly friends had humored her and became her warriors and retainers.
Now that two princes were actually standing before this little princess of the blue kimono and rouge cheeks, she was quivering in her socks. She had never seen them this grave before. It felt like the fate of two powerful nations rested in which prince she accepted.
The snow prince, bedecked in his white Chinese suit, bowed before the princess, and began to speak.
"I have to leave the country for a while, Makimachi."
Makimachi?! It must be a mistake. She smiled uneasily. "What's wrong with that? You've wanted to travel for some time, ne?"
"Makimachi, I am being commissioned by the government, to be an agent."
"A-agent?" She was a little surprised, but, as an Oniwabanshuu ninja, not much. "I still say what's wrong with that? I go undercover for a living, right? What's so different?"
He turned his back to her. "Makimachi. Your world is different from mine. The government conspiracies, the political maneuverings that your organization sees, is only the surface of my world. I am being commissioned to go back to it, go back to Shanghai, help China and Japan stop the triad."
"If you refuse?" She earnestly hoped he would.
"Permanent exile. That would not have been so bad, a year ago....but not now."
"Let me go with you! I can help, can't I?"
"Rather impossible," the okashira interrupted at this point. "Kyoto operatives would know that you are an Oniwabanshuu ninja. For you to be seen with him would make them suspicious of what he is doing."
"If you choose to help me," the businessman continued, "you would have to......severe your ties with the Oni."
"Only one, or the other, Misao."
The prince with the ice-blue eyes worded the ultimatum.
Misao looked down at the stones in her hand, and twirled them again. Before the afternoon was over, she had to throw one of them away.
"Look, gentlemen," she entreated, "Maybe I could act as a go-between? I know how to use disguises, I can be the messenger between the both of you..."
Enishi lowered his head, and chuckled bitterly. "You are trying to be on the safe side, Makimachi. You want to be with me, but still you do not want to lose Shinomori." He shook his head. "No, my dear Makimachi. It cannot work that way. Do not leave us any more in suspense. Do not disappoint us any more by your ambiguity. One, or the other. Choose."
"If you decide to stay in Kyoto, you will have to deny for the most part your knowledge of Yukishiro, for both his and your safety," Aoshi warned her. "You will merely live the life you have always lived, a boring one confined to this city. You will not have the chance to travel outside of Japan, and see the world beyond our shores."
"If you choose to go with me," Enishi cautioned in turn, "you will not be able to sleep at night in peace. Every minute you are alive is a new risk. You are in danger of being killed, injured, even raped. It will be one or two years before you get to see Japan again. Most importantly, you would have to assume a new identity. You cannot contact Shinomori, if you want to stay alive and if you want to see this case completed."
Then silence.
The men stood with their backs to each other, apart by only a few feet, and waited for her answer.
Cold sweat beaded at Misao's forehead. This was the point of no return.
Both men were most gentlemanly to her. Both would give up their lives for her. Both had their secrets and their past mistakes, but both had tried to live beyond them to something better.
She had enjoyed their company, in different ways. She had admired their endearing qualities, in different ways. She had loved them truly, in different ways.
The question was not who she loved more. Rather, who did she love enough, to sacrifice everything else?
Should she give her heart completely to the man she had given her life and love for the longest time? Or, should she give it to the man who gave her a new reason to live?
Soujirou's words came back to haunt her. Choose, once and for all.
She probed deep in her memory, for everything she recalled about both men. The hard times and the good times. The horrible remembrances and the wonderful dreams. The days long gone, and the days recently past.
She took a deep breath, and gave the two stones a final look.
She chose.
.
.
White.
.
.
"Think about this very carefully, Misao!" the victor panicked. "You know the consequences! Think, Misao! Think again!"
"I have decided," she declared resolutely.
"You don't understand! You can't undo this! If you choose me, you will lose Shinomori! I know what he is to you! Do not do this, Misao!"
She smiled such a womanly smile, that neither man had seen before. "I have decided."
"You do not understand, you do not understand!" he kneeled beside her. "Aside from the obvious situation, there is one thing more. Shinomori and I made an agreement. Only the one you choose will propose. I.....have to marry you, Misao."
Her jaw dropped.
He stammered and faltered. "I would like to marry you, of course. However, I also know that you want to marry HIM. Now, considering that, and considering the situation I am in, PLEASE think it over well. I will not consider that your final answer yet, so please think about your choice."
"Enough, Yukishiro." The okashira put a hand to the man's shoulder.
Yukishiro attacked. "Are you surrendering without a fight? Don't you understand what I'm trying to do? I am desperately trying to give her back to you, and you have no intentions of taking it?"
"What is the use?" he weakly countered.
"DON'T YOU LOVE HER, Shinomori?!"
"Yes, I do."
"Aren't you going to defend yourself, then? Tell her I'm not worthy of her! Tell her I'll only ruin her life! I used to be a smuggler, for goodness sakes, and I'm being asked to be a smuggler again. Tell her to stay with you."
"Please....stop.....Enishi....stop it." Tears flowed down her face, and formed lines through the rouge in her cheeks. She hid her eyes from both of them, and wept quietly.
She quietly walked to where the okashira stood, and took both of his hands in hers.
"Aoshi-sama. Listen to me. You will always, always have a special place in my heart. I will always want to be with you. But.....but......I....I....can't....I can't......live with you forever....." She buried her face in his warm uniform and wept sorrowfully. "I am very sorry....Aoshi......but I can't......" She brushed a few tears away from her eyes. "It's not because of you. Kami-sama knows, I have forgiven you long ago for your faults. You have been nothing but loving to me. Aoshi, I am doing this because of me."
The okashira's face betrayed a hundred of the thousand questions he had.
"I want to know who I am, as myself. Do not get me wrong. I am a better person for what you have all taught me. But I am always living under someone else's shadow. I want to stay in my own sunlight for a change."
He nodded slowly, and kissed her tenderly to one cheek.
She carefully released herself after a few minutes, then faced the other man.
"I told you, you do not have to do this....." he gave a final show of resistance.
She became all business. "It is not because I am after your money-I actually hate those politicians who think money makes the world go round. It is not because I pity you-You can ask Himura, I hated you all over again when I saw those papers. It is not because I feel sorry for you-You are too strong a person for that. It is definitely not because I hate Aoshi-sama- Even you know that I think the world of him."
This new woman scared even the former mafia boss, familiar with strong and dangerous women. She was determined, more than he had ever seen. She was resolute, more than she had ever been in her life. She had indeed weighed her options and her risks. She knew what she was getting into.
"Has it come to your attention, gentlemen, that I could refuse you BOTH?" she defiantly declared.
The two men looked at each other. Hard to admit, but she was right.
"I did not do that, though."
She looked again at the businessman.
"You did not hide me under your shadow. You made me shine for myself. That is my reason."
"Only because you did---" he interrupted.
"Enishi," she grinned, and put a finger to his lips, "you talk too much."
He smiled slightly in return.
But he noticed the small tears forming at the sides of her eyes, as she glanced with longing at the conquered. The okashira tried to hide his defeat behind a face of stone, but the young woman knew him well enough to see beyond it. The snowhaired man saw that in her miserable eyes. He knew how she wanted to embrace him again, to console him, to make him understand that the decision hurt her as well.
He understood her pain, but it also pained him to accept it. Still, he felt somewhat responsible, and he felt a new settlement must be arranged.
He gestured to the okashira, and led him a few meters away from the young woman. They talked earnestly for five agonizing minutes. Misao saw Enishi gesturing and discussing with animation, as Aoshi calmly nodded and shook his head in intervals. At last, Enishi gave a final desperate proposal, to which Aoshi agreed.
They returned.
"My dear weasel..." Enishi began.
"What did you just say?!" she playfully readied her fighting stance.
He did not seem to realize his mistake. "...Do you recall that ring I let you borrow for a while?"
"The sealing ring. Of course, it's at the Aioya in a box. You need it back?" she asked in confusion.
He shook his head and smiled. "Do you remember the paper that came with it?"
She nodded, and quoted. " 'The bearer of the ring must be given full access... Any man who defies these words will answer for it with his life.' "
"Good. I want you to keep it, my dear weasel. As your engagement ring."
She did not hear him right, right? "My, engagement ring? What is an engagement ring?"
"In the West, a man gives a woman a ring, as a token that she has accepted his proposal of marriage. It's worn during the engagement period. It is replaced by the wedding ring once they are married," he explained. "A lot of the young women in Shanghai expect that of their fiancée."
"What does all that trivia have to do with me, Enishi?"
He took off his glasses, and looked into her beautiful jade eyes. "Misao, I know what Shinomori means to you. I know what your friends mean to you. I do not feel it is right for me to just whisk you away, just to be with me, even if you have decided. Therefore, this is what Shinomori and I have agreed upon."
He cleared his throat and explained. "In two weeks, I will be leaving for Shanghai, alone. I will come back for you in a year. So, you can still be with your Aoshi-sama and your other friends for the time being. The ring is my promise. I will come back for you, and when I come back, I will marry you then. The ring is also your protection. Just in case I manage to get in trouble, you can use the ring to access any information, whether in Japan or in China."
Her mind flew back for a few seconds to a man with the same features but a different personality. A few short months ago, this was the man who would have moved heaven and earth, to make her come with him. Was he, seriously, willingly, relinquishing his right to have her? Was he truly thinking about the feelings of his rival and of his beloved? This was another man before her, indeed!
"Let me get this straight," Misao tried to take in everything. She was a little girl, being told her beloved brother was not going away. "I can stay with Aoshi-sama?"
"For another year, yes."
Then her face revealed hopeful love. "But you will be back?"
"Yes."
The arrangement was just fine with her. A longer time to adjust, a longer time to comprehend and to understand the long-term implications of her choice. It did not mean she would take it back, but it did mean she would better know what she was getting into.
"Thank you for reading my mind."
He did not answer. He took her hand, and led her to his opponent.
The okashira met the eyes of the businessman, and gave a slow military nod. "Thank you."
Misao looked back in gratitude at the snowhaired man, then hugged the okashira for all she was worth. "I'm not going away! I won't be leaving you! I'm so glad!" She looked like a woman released from an untimely and innocent death. He embraced her back gratefully.
"Women, they really cannot make up their minds, can they?" Enishi murmured and smirked as he cocked his glasses back over his eyes. He began to walk down the hill, sadly chuckling, his Chinese suit fluttering in the late afternoon breeze.
...........
Yes, women can't make up their minds. I am one of them. ^^
On this author's word of honor, she did not simply toss a coin to make a decision. I've worried plenty about it, about my peace of mind, about the rationale, about what Firuze Khanume and CardMistressSakura (the most ardent supporters of either side) would say.
I figured that this was the most rational ending, considering the background I have made for the story. I know I didn't treat both men fairly. One got more airtime and chances than the other. I know, either way I go, I would be leaving one man depressed for the rest of his life, for the loss of a woman. But one has to win. That's the point of a triangle. You guys would throw stones at me more if I didn't let anyone win. Midori, Iceangel, tesuka-chan, and Sabbie might eventually have other ideas, but their choices are not mine.
For some reason, it did not feel right to give either man the full victory, though. Misao has no ill feelings for either man, so I don't think it would be right if she was truly forced to reject one of them completely for the other. Thus, it turned out like this.
I know that I don't completely satisfy Enishi fans or Aoshi fans this way, but I have the most peace of mind with this ending. I hope you all understand. You all have NO idea how much I've thought and thought and thought and lost sleep and thought and lost sleep....about this predicament.
This is the first time I made a story where I personally choose the ending. Seven Days and Nine Months, being solid K/K stories, had an implied ending I would be happy with. Nine Months, being a pregnancy fic, had an obvious ending I can work and aim at. White and Black's ending, therefore, has been sheer torture.
Reviews and criticism are welcome. Deadly weapons aren't, though!! I want to stay alive to write another RK fic!
Congratulations to chitchat, nekonomiko, bittersweetKandy, Mi. My sincere apologies to CardMistressSakura, bee, hmikomi. If it's any consolation to you guys, it was really a tough choice.
(Dallisse-I'll go back to your fics, I promise. Thanks for putting me in the faves list!) (JML-I do hope you become someone like Michael Crichton.) (Cat H-I hope you understand now why I said Alias is an inspiration for the final chapters.) (Luli451-Yes, you can keep the other guy! ^^) (Bee-Thanks, and I hope you weren't too disappointed.) (CardMistressSakura-I am really sorry to have tagged you along for so long and disappoint you at the end. (bows low) I am very very sorry.) (Mi- Yes, you got what you wanted.) (BittersweetKandy-I think Misao CAN commit to a serious relationship. She did adore her Aoshi-sama for YEARS!) (Nekonomiko-Long time no see! ^^) (Iceangel-I hope you don't mind if I say I like Solasido lots as well. ^^) (Hmikomi---Thanks for reading for so long! I am so so sorry to disappoint you.) (Chitchat-Thanks for liking the bluebird part!) (Firuze-nee-san---I can't believe you rooted for the other guy!) (Sabbie-Three endings?! I already had enough trouble with this one!) (Tiian-Yeah, you're right about balance in dialogue and description. Midori-sempai gets it perfectly right. ^^)
There will be one last chapter and an epilogue, so I hope to see you all again, pretty please? ^^