Pairing: Rory/Jess
Disclaimer: None of the characters of mine and I admit that so don't sue me.
Author's Note: If anyone, when they review, wants to tell me how to let everyone review and not just signed in people that would be great because I haven't been able to figure that out and I feel like a complete asshole here. Anyways here is the next chapter..I hope you enjoy.
Jess didn't fall asleep until a few hours after Rory. Once she fell asleep he felt compelled to watch her, memorize her face. Jess watched her body rise and fall even with her breathing. Just by looking at her Jess was fascinated, completely taken in for hours.
Twice he felt Rory gripping his hand tightly then shift on the bed and heard her whimper in pain. Jess instinctively held her closer and whispered sweet inconsequential things in her ear. Telling her it was ok, that she was safe and on the second time that he loved her.
He hadn't meant to say it. But it felt good when he did.
Jess was scared. He had never loved anyone before and he never said "I love you" to a girl and meant it. The two times he had said it didn't really count anyway. Both times were during sex. One time he was tripping on ecstasy.....The other time the girl, whose name Jess couldn't remember, said it to him completely drunk and he felt obligated to say it back since he was.inside of her at the time.
Jess closed his eyes and thought about all those girls and thought about Rory. How he would never deserve her, and she would never accept his past if he ever worked up the courage to tell her about it. He tried to console himself by saying they were too different..it would never work out anyway. But Jess knew that was bullshit even as he was telling himself that. He loved her, he wanted and needed her.....how ironic after being so proud to not need anyone.
He opened his eyes when he heard a noise and saw a very disgruntled form standing above him. Jess didn't move. He couldn't out of fear of waking Rory. She needed all the sleep she could get.
Luke was prepared to see a lot of things after being away for a night, but not that.
He stood a few feet away from Jess' bed looking down at the two teenagers. Jess was lying on his back. His face was tilted towards Rory and his right arm was wrapped around her with his hand resting on her back. Rory was lying on her side toward Jess and her right arm rested on his chest holding his left hand.
Luke noticed then that Jess was awake and looking up at him. Jess glanced at Rory sleeping next to him and then back at Luke. He lifted his head a little in an attempt to get up, but Luke motioned with his hands for Jess to remain where he was. He turned and walked out of the apartment to open the diner below.
Thirty minutes after Luke left, Jess slowly detangled himself away from Rory. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and went back to his room to make sure she was still asleep and undisturbed. Which she was.
One time Shane fell asleep in his bed after they had sex. It was the middle of the day during the end of summer and Luke went to Hartford but Jess couldn't remember why. That was the only reason Jess let her sleep, because there was no chance of Luke coming up and finding them. She wasn't completely naked Jess remembered; she had on her bra and underwear. Jess had grabbed a book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and read on the couch while Shane slept in his bed. When she got up about two hours later, she dressed and left quickly fearing being late for work. Jess knew they had said something to each other but couldn't remember what exactly.
Looking at Rory, there was no comparison. Illusion filled his head and he turned away sharply. He felt guilty looking at her while she was sleeping; imaging all the things he wished he could do for her, to her. He walked out of the apartment and shut the door softly.
Luke was in the storeroom, unloading the foods he knew he would use today. He heard Jess come in but didn't say anything. He waited for Jess to speak first.
"Whatever you are thinking, don't worry. Nothing happened alright."
"The "nothing" being Rory in your bed wearing your clothes while you two were....."
"What? What were we doing?"
"You were lying there like you two had just....." Again Luke couldn't finish. He didn't want his mind to think of Rory in that light.
"Just what? Tell me what you think I did to her?"
"You know what I think happened."
"I told you nothing happened. Last night I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk and she was outside just sitting there letting the snow hit her and not moving. She was freaked out about her grandfather dying. I bring her here to give her coffee and to get her into clothes that aren't soaking wet. It was late and we fell asleep. That's all."
"You must think I am some sort of an idiot. You expect me to believe that is all that happened, Jess." Luke stared at him in disbelief.
"You don't believe me. Fine. Believe what you want."
"What about Lorelai? Does she know that as of 5:30 this morning, her daughter is sleeping in your bed?" Luke was almost to the point of yelling.
"She was in Hartford last night with Rory's grandmother. So no, she doesn't know that Rory is here."
"What about Dean? Does he know that Rory is here? Or how bout Shane for that matter?"
"Aw geez."
"Just trying to clarify things, Jess."
Jess lost his temper at this and started to yell, "I know Rory is with Dean. It's kind of burned in my skin, if you know what I'm saying, and I know you do. And Shane is....it is not even an issue with her. I have already explained the basis of the relationship. Look, this is a simple situation. Rory was upset. I am the guy who just happened to be there. This I know, so get off my back about it.
"Rory has gotta be out of her mind with grief right now. She doesn't even know what she is doing."
"I told you I know. So just drop it, already. When she gets up I'll sneak her out the back door and she will go back to her perfect, quiet life."
"It's not perfect anymore, Jess." Jess ignored his last statement.
"I am going to let her sleep until she wakes or until Lorelai calls. I will be back down in few minutes and help you open up and with the first shift. I'm just going to go change." He turned and walked out of the storage room leaving Luke alone and fuming.
Luke didn't know what to say. Words and communication was never his strong suit. He sat down on one of the boxes and put his head in his hands. He tried to think clearly. Jess was letting himself get used by Rory. He hadn't harmed Rory. In the end Rory will do more damage to Jess, although she won't be aware of it and had no intention of doing so. Luke understood the situation because he was living it. He felt sorrow for Jess. He was taking anything he could get from the girl he loved, knowing that she belonged to somebody else.
Rory was being pulled out of a good dream by a ringing noise. She wanted the ringing to stop. She was so comfortable and could sleep for a few more hours. Realization hit her. Her cell phone was ringing.
"Hello." It was her mom. Rory glanced at the clock and panicked when it read 10:17 am. She knew she had a lot of explaining to do.
"I'm at Luke's.not eating.......I'm fine.......well it's a long story......in the apartment upstairs......well I sorta spent the night here last night......I am sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't plan on it.well Luke wasn't here exactly......yes with Jess.......perfect gentlemen.......I couldn't sleep and I went for a walk and I sorta freaked out and it was snowing and I was cold and shaking and Jess found me.......no....yeah.....we fell asleep ..........I needed to change out of my clothes because they were soaking wet and he gave me coffee and soup and we-. ........well what else do you want me to say.......ok I'll come home.......it will take me a while to change and stuff. .....yeah......I guess .fine. ....bye."
Rory didn't want to lie to her mom about Jess. He had been there for her, given her clothes and shelter. Lying would be a betrayal to Jess, she thought, and she already lied about him enough. Now she was going to be honest, she told herself. She was sitting in his bed then. She told her mom she would come home and yet she did not move.
Rory didn't want to leave.
Her mom's call reminded Rory of all of her obligations. Of her dead grandpa. Suddenly Rory felt guilt and shame for having such a good night's rest. For a few moments forgetting that he was dead. That he would never be again. No she did not want to leave Jess' bed.
Then Rory began to think about the funeral and the wake. She had never been to either before, ever. Of course, she had read about them and seen them in movies and always cried at those scenes. Full of sadness for the character's death, and the pain of the living characters. But that was fiction. Now she was living it. It was at that moment that Rory realized that things would never be the same for her.
This wasn't just her grandpa's death; this was her introduction to reality.
Rory got up and went to the bathroom, used the scope, came back and still did not want to leave. She thought more about her grandpa and then what she would say to Jess. She grabbed the Doose's bag that carried her clothes and went back to the bed and sat down. Her clothes were folded neatly in the bag.
Rory came to the conclusion that Jess must have folded them when he got up. Rory touched her shirt lightly. A wave of tenderness spread through her body. She pictured Jess gathering her things and folding them silently, so not to disturb her from her sleep. It was things like this that made her doubt Dean, her mom, and herself completely.
Still not wanting to leave, she looked at the books lying on his nightstand. They were all so familiar. Faulkner, Rushdie, Joyce, Morrison, O'Neil, and McMurtry. She picked up Light in August and thumbed through it. Rory had read As I Lay Dying and thought William Faulkner to be too dark for her tastes. How ironic, she thought absently.
She came to what she thought was a bookmark, but soon realized it was not. It had her name on it. It was four pieces of paper folded and very clearly it said "Rory" on the top. She looked around the room nervously. Carefully she took the folded pieces of paper out and held it in her hands. Her name was carelessly written, as if he was in a hurry she thought.
She knew she shouldn't open it, but it had her name on it. It was too tempting. She unfolded it slowly, agonizingly slowly. Her heart was racing and she felt her blood heating in her veins. She read:
Rory, In this brief, quiet moment to myself there is a longing that threatens to split me in two. It is greater than yesterday or any day ever before. The image of you radiant and exquisitely beautiful, intoxicating me with your mere presence invades my mind, destroying all rational thought. There is a torrent of emotions that I keep concealed so that we can play this charade, but I..
Suddenly the door opened and Jess walked in, his eyes fixed on Rory on his bed sitting up. Reading the letter, his letter to her. He stopped walking when full realization hit him and his blood froze.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Disclaimer: None of the characters of mine and I admit that so don't sue me.
Author's Note: If anyone, when they review, wants to tell me how to let everyone review and not just signed in people that would be great because I haven't been able to figure that out and I feel like a complete asshole here. Anyways here is the next chapter..I hope you enjoy.
Jess didn't fall asleep until a few hours after Rory. Once she fell asleep he felt compelled to watch her, memorize her face. Jess watched her body rise and fall even with her breathing. Just by looking at her Jess was fascinated, completely taken in for hours.
Twice he felt Rory gripping his hand tightly then shift on the bed and heard her whimper in pain. Jess instinctively held her closer and whispered sweet inconsequential things in her ear. Telling her it was ok, that she was safe and on the second time that he loved her.
He hadn't meant to say it. But it felt good when he did.
Jess was scared. He had never loved anyone before and he never said "I love you" to a girl and meant it. The two times he had said it didn't really count anyway. Both times were during sex. One time he was tripping on ecstasy.....The other time the girl, whose name Jess couldn't remember, said it to him completely drunk and he felt obligated to say it back since he was.inside of her at the time.
Jess closed his eyes and thought about all those girls and thought about Rory. How he would never deserve her, and she would never accept his past if he ever worked up the courage to tell her about it. He tried to console himself by saying they were too different..it would never work out anyway. But Jess knew that was bullshit even as he was telling himself that. He loved her, he wanted and needed her.....how ironic after being so proud to not need anyone.
He opened his eyes when he heard a noise and saw a very disgruntled form standing above him. Jess didn't move. He couldn't out of fear of waking Rory. She needed all the sleep she could get.
Luke was prepared to see a lot of things after being away for a night, but not that.
He stood a few feet away from Jess' bed looking down at the two teenagers. Jess was lying on his back. His face was tilted towards Rory and his right arm was wrapped around her with his hand resting on her back. Rory was lying on her side toward Jess and her right arm rested on his chest holding his left hand.
Luke noticed then that Jess was awake and looking up at him. Jess glanced at Rory sleeping next to him and then back at Luke. He lifted his head a little in an attempt to get up, but Luke motioned with his hands for Jess to remain where he was. He turned and walked out of the apartment to open the diner below.
Thirty minutes after Luke left, Jess slowly detangled himself away from Rory. He went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth and went back to his room to make sure she was still asleep and undisturbed. Which she was.
One time Shane fell asleep in his bed after they had sex. It was the middle of the day during the end of summer and Luke went to Hartford but Jess couldn't remember why. That was the only reason Jess let her sleep, because there was no chance of Luke coming up and finding them. She wasn't completely naked Jess remembered; she had on her bra and underwear. Jess had grabbed a book, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and read on the couch while Shane slept in his bed. When she got up about two hours later, she dressed and left quickly fearing being late for work. Jess knew they had said something to each other but couldn't remember what exactly.
Looking at Rory, there was no comparison. Illusion filled his head and he turned away sharply. He felt guilty looking at her while she was sleeping; imaging all the things he wished he could do for her, to her. He walked out of the apartment and shut the door softly.
Luke was in the storeroom, unloading the foods he knew he would use today. He heard Jess come in but didn't say anything. He waited for Jess to speak first.
"Whatever you are thinking, don't worry. Nothing happened alright."
"The "nothing" being Rory in your bed wearing your clothes while you two were....."
"What? What were we doing?"
"You were lying there like you two had just....." Again Luke couldn't finish. He didn't want his mind to think of Rory in that light.
"Just what? Tell me what you think I did to her?"
"You know what I think happened."
"I told you nothing happened. Last night I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk and she was outside just sitting there letting the snow hit her and not moving. She was freaked out about her grandfather dying. I bring her here to give her coffee and to get her into clothes that aren't soaking wet. It was late and we fell asleep. That's all."
"You must think I am some sort of an idiot. You expect me to believe that is all that happened, Jess." Luke stared at him in disbelief.
"You don't believe me. Fine. Believe what you want."
"What about Lorelai? Does she know that as of 5:30 this morning, her daughter is sleeping in your bed?" Luke was almost to the point of yelling.
"She was in Hartford last night with Rory's grandmother. So no, she doesn't know that Rory is here."
"What about Dean? Does he know that Rory is here? Or how bout Shane for that matter?"
"Aw geez."
"Just trying to clarify things, Jess."
Jess lost his temper at this and started to yell, "I know Rory is with Dean. It's kind of burned in my skin, if you know what I'm saying, and I know you do. And Shane is....it is not even an issue with her. I have already explained the basis of the relationship. Look, this is a simple situation. Rory was upset. I am the guy who just happened to be there. This I know, so get off my back about it.
"Rory has gotta be out of her mind with grief right now. She doesn't even know what she is doing."
"I told you I know. So just drop it, already. When she gets up I'll sneak her out the back door and she will go back to her perfect, quiet life."
"It's not perfect anymore, Jess." Jess ignored his last statement.
"I am going to let her sleep until she wakes or until Lorelai calls. I will be back down in few minutes and help you open up and with the first shift. I'm just going to go change." He turned and walked out of the storage room leaving Luke alone and fuming.
Luke didn't know what to say. Words and communication was never his strong suit. He sat down on one of the boxes and put his head in his hands. He tried to think clearly. Jess was letting himself get used by Rory. He hadn't harmed Rory. In the end Rory will do more damage to Jess, although she won't be aware of it and had no intention of doing so. Luke understood the situation because he was living it. He felt sorrow for Jess. He was taking anything he could get from the girl he loved, knowing that she belonged to somebody else.
Rory was being pulled out of a good dream by a ringing noise. She wanted the ringing to stop. She was so comfortable and could sleep for a few more hours. Realization hit her. Her cell phone was ringing.
"Hello." It was her mom. Rory glanced at the clock and panicked when it read 10:17 am. She knew she had a lot of explaining to do.
"I'm at Luke's.not eating.......I'm fine.......well it's a long story......in the apartment upstairs......well I sorta spent the night here last night......I am sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't plan on it.well Luke wasn't here exactly......yes with Jess.......perfect gentlemen.......I couldn't sleep and I went for a walk and I sorta freaked out and it was snowing and I was cold and shaking and Jess found me.......no....yeah.....we fell asleep ..........I needed to change out of my clothes because they were soaking wet and he gave me coffee and soup and we-. ........well what else do you want me to say.......ok I'll come home.......it will take me a while to change and stuff. .....yeah......I guess .fine. ....bye."
Rory didn't want to lie to her mom about Jess. He had been there for her, given her clothes and shelter. Lying would be a betrayal to Jess, she thought, and she already lied about him enough. Now she was going to be honest, she told herself. She was sitting in his bed then. She told her mom she would come home and yet she did not move.
Rory didn't want to leave.
Her mom's call reminded Rory of all of her obligations. Of her dead grandpa. Suddenly Rory felt guilt and shame for having such a good night's rest. For a few moments forgetting that he was dead. That he would never be again. No she did not want to leave Jess' bed.
Then Rory began to think about the funeral and the wake. She had never been to either before, ever. Of course, she had read about them and seen them in movies and always cried at those scenes. Full of sadness for the character's death, and the pain of the living characters. But that was fiction. Now she was living it. It was at that moment that Rory realized that things would never be the same for her.
This wasn't just her grandpa's death; this was her introduction to reality.
Rory got up and went to the bathroom, used the scope, came back and still did not want to leave. She thought more about her grandpa and then what she would say to Jess. She grabbed the Doose's bag that carried her clothes and went back to the bed and sat down. Her clothes were folded neatly in the bag.
Rory came to the conclusion that Jess must have folded them when he got up. Rory touched her shirt lightly. A wave of tenderness spread through her body. She pictured Jess gathering her things and folding them silently, so not to disturb her from her sleep. It was things like this that made her doubt Dean, her mom, and herself completely.
Still not wanting to leave, she looked at the books lying on his nightstand. They were all so familiar. Faulkner, Rushdie, Joyce, Morrison, O'Neil, and McMurtry. She picked up Light in August and thumbed through it. Rory had read As I Lay Dying and thought William Faulkner to be too dark for her tastes. How ironic, she thought absently.
She came to what she thought was a bookmark, but soon realized it was not. It had her name on it. It was four pieces of paper folded and very clearly it said "Rory" on the top. She looked around the room nervously. Carefully she took the folded pieces of paper out and held it in her hands. Her name was carelessly written, as if he was in a hurry she thought.
She knew she shouldn't open it, but it had her name on it. It was too tempting. She unfolded it slowly, agonizingly slowly. Her heart was racing and she felt her blood heating in her veins. She read:
Rory, In this brief, quiet moment to myself there is a longing that threatens to split me in two. It is greater than yesterday or any day ever before. The image of you radiant and exquisitely beautiful, intoxicating me with your mere presence invades my mind, destroying all rational thought. There is a torrent of emotions that I keep concealed so that we can play this charade, but I..
Suddenly the door opened and Jess walked in, his eyes fixed on Rory on his bed sitting up. Reading the letter, his letter to her. He stopped walking when full realization hit him and his blood froze.
"Hi."
"Hi."